It goes without saying that after nearly four million years in development, Duke Nukem Forever has become one of the greatest mysteries in the history of videogames. But was it just one giant practical joke? Parent company Take-Two might think so, as it's suing developer 3D Realms for failing to finish the game. While the lawsuit has unearthed a whole slew of paperwork, possibly the most damning bit of evidence is the team's developer diary, a cheese-stained, bottomshelf liquor-soaked journal that was clearly meant to stay hidden beneath the company's floorboards. So it's with great pride (and with great shame for all legal parties involved) that we present this diary to you in its entirety. After all, no questions should go unanswered forever...