Average
Playboy: The Mansion is basically a trio of knockoffs of pre-existing games having an awkward, fumbling threesome. Take the naughty-but-nice "playing house" aspect of The Sims and introduce it to a tipsy Tycoon-style business simulation, drunk on its own power and single-malt scotch. Once things start getting frisky, send in Japan's super-pervy Primal Image to take pictures of everyone in their skivvies. Sadly, none of the cloned games can hold a candle to its original source material, and the forced interaction between them ensures that someone's going to wind up crying themselves to sleep when they realizes what they did.
The Sims is P:TM's most obvious source of inspiration, and that's unfortunate, because the lifestyle simulation aspects of P:TM are its weakest feature. As Hef himself, you have the option to build business and personal relationships with everyone who enters the Playboy Mansion, as well as romantic relationships with every well-endowed woman who jiggles through the front door. Secure a strong business relationship with someone, and you can make a potentially lucrative deal with them. Robust romantic relationships may result in whoopee, but don't get your hopes up -- the ladies do go topless, but everyone keeps their really naughty parts covered up, resulting in some vigorous looped dry-humping that doesn't stop until you hit a button. (The extremely lonely and dirty-minded among you should be able to figure out why that is.)
Obviously, any game with actual hardcore sex in it would never qualify for an "M" rating, and thus never be sold in any major video-game store, but this (pardon the pun) half-assed solution is just silly. At the very least, if you're not planning on including actual sex in your game, you should probably remove "have sex on couch" from the list of relationship menu options.
The relationship-building in P:TM is as shallow as your average kitten-loving Bunny. Building a relationship is rarely more complicated than choosing the exact same options from the conversation menu and sitting through the exact same animations. Once you've invited a friend to join your elite "inner circle," they don't seem to get mad at you for subsequently not inviting them to parties or ignoring their attempts to strike up conversation. In fact, despite the game's claim that you're rewarded for "having a positive sexual attitude," I was able to treat some of the ladies pretty badly and get away with it.
In one memorable instance, I invited a famous feminist over to the Mansion for a party. After romantically chatting her up for less than five minutes with no casual small talk, I was able to talk her into having fake sex on my library couch in front of several other guests. After I'd seen enough of her weird chicken-lady lap dance, I asked her to be my third girlfriend, which she gleefully agreed to. I then photographed her topless for the cover of the next issue of Playboy and broke up with her. Despite the fact that I'd turned her from Gloria Steinem to Jenna Jameson in under twenty minutes and kicked her to the curb when I was done with her, she did not slap me, nor did she burn the Mansion down in a rage. In fact, she accepted an invitation to my next party, and my romantic relationship with her didn't suffer at all. Now don't get me wrong -- I wish real life was a lot more like that. It just doesn't make for terribly compelling gameplay is all.
