Mario might be the face of gaming, but Bowser, the princess-pilfering king of cruelty from the Mario series, is the definitive videogame boss, and the perfect way to kick off our list. If Bowser was putting together an all-star crew of bad-ass bosses from throughout gaming history, we think he'd agree that these were some of the best.
Bowser would be proud of our cast of videogame bosses.
Did we leave out some of the best bosses from your favorite games? Please let us know in the comments section below, as long as you're not whining about Sephiroth. We left him out intentionally because he sucks.
The Koopalings (Super Mario Bros. 3/Super Mario World)
Mario's sworn enemy -- grouchy old Bowser Koopa -- is the indisputable king when it comes to videogame bosses. But the cranky turtle kids? Sheer genius. These seven deadly squirts made their grand entrance in Super Mario Bros. 3, where the platform-jumping plumber was sent off to recover a septet of magic wands from an array of colorful, themed worlds. Bowser's spawn acted as the gatekeepers -- and wand-nappers -- of each world; Mario tackled them aboard giant airships, stomping them into submission and claiming their ill-gotten goodies.
Each Koopaling -- named after musical personalities, one and all -- had their own look and personality: Spoiled brat Wendy O. Koopa littered her lair with dangerous peppermint-striped bangles, spectacle-sporting Iggy Koopa bounded to heights that even Mario had trouble reaching, lazy-eyed Lemmy Koopa used beach balls as weapons, and eldest brother Ludwig von Koopa shook the entire ship with his every leap. The boys-and-girl made follow-up appearances in Super Mario World, but were erased from existence after the coming of Super Mario Sunshine's Bowser Jr. -- only to resurface for quick cameos in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. We think they've got far more charm and personality than their dopey successor, and it seems Nintendo's starting to agree: We'll be seeing the whole Koopa family again very soon in New Super Mario Bros. Wii.
The most villainous bosses in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Ryan says: Nintendo of Japan never named the Koopalings, and left it to the trusty American branch to suss it all out in the localization. Trouble is, production on the animated Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 series had a year-long head-start on NOA's naming committee -- and the pipsqueaks portrayed on Saturday morning television sported substantially different designs (not to mention names) than their in-game counterparts. This confused the hell out of me back in 1990, but I was glad to see 'em represented, either way!Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!)
Iron Mike might possibly be the most unique entry on this list in that he's not only a formidable in-game opponent but he'd also whoop your ass in real life. Contractual issues and his criminal records in the real world led him to be replaced by a character named Mr. Dream (I call him White Tyson) in later copies of Punch-Out!!, but his boss legacy will forever be remembered by gamers everywhere. The first 90 seconds of round one is a brutal battle for the unprepared. A single punch from Kid Dynamite is an instant knockout to Little Mac. Surviving that brings you back in to the more routine Punch-Out fight format of quick dodges, quicker punches, and watching for those fleeting moments of boss weakness, in this case, Tyson's blinking eye. It's possible to KO him but it takes some serious dexterity and commitment to recognize his every move and counter appropriately. It's no surprise that a monstrous aggressor convicted of sexual assault, biting ears and neglecting ferrets (really) would make for such a formidable videogame boss.
Iron Mike is the ultimate challenge.
Brian Altano says: I hold a great deal of resentment towards Mike Tyson, and for good reason: I've been a gamer for nearly 25 years and I've never defeated this relentless psychopath. I've had trouble remembering my social security number, my bank account number and ex-girlfriend's phone numbers (that's probably a good thing) but 007 373 5963 aka "the Tyson code" will be etched into my brain for eternity. Entering that code is always a nice way to knock my otherwise triumphant gamer self esteem down a notch. The recent Wii installment of the Punch-Out!! franchise was a fantastic trip down memory lane, but the omission of Tyson (for legal reasons, obviously) kept the game from being a truly nostalgic experience.Kefka (Final Fantasy VI)
Some say Final Fantasy VII's silky-haired Sephiroth is the best baddie in Square's sappy role-playing franchise. Protip: Play better Final Fantasy games -- because FF7's immediate predecessor featured an even more memorable villain in Kefka Palazzo, everybody's favorite clown prince of crazy. On top of being one sadistic son of a bitch (with quite the killer theme song -- and a maniacal laugh to match), Final Fantasy VI's central antagonist dished out one of the most epic boss fights ever seen in an RPG. The game's ultimate battle was a literal climb up a twisted, living tower of pain and suffering, with Kefka -- transformed into a symbolic 16-bit representation of Lucifer -- waiting at the top, ready to unleash his devastating Fallen Angel attack (continuing the religious symbolism... and reducing your party members to a single hit point apiece). The heavens themselves provided the backdrop for this awesome fight, with Kefka, the Angel of Death, dissolving into nothingness -- and his ruined world discovering new life -- upon his final defeat. If one Final Fantasy boss stands out, it's certainly Kefka.
RPG bosses have never been this epic.
Ryan says: I once endured a Final Fantasy VI play-through in which I took the bare-minimum assortment of characters (Celes, Setzer, and Edgar -- all level 99) on solo runs through Kefka's three-party fortress of terror. Spurred on by a desire to glimpse the game's grimmest possible ending (the closing sequence is tailored to the characters you meet -- in my case, three of the game's 14), I Rambo'd my way through Kefka's trio of divine guardians, only to be stopped dead cold by my arch-nemesis' Fallen Angel schtick. I don't even want to think about how many wasted hours that amounted to...
