Fashion Me Fabulous

Remember how I was ranting about " nude " being used as a substitute for beige? Mod Cloth is not marketing this bathing suit as nude, but it should come with a warning: Midtone skin may appear naked on beach. If your skin tone ranges from Jennifer Lopez to Lupita Nyong'o, you could pull this off. In fact, Lupita is the only celebrity I could imagine making this work. She could even make that silly cutout look like a cute design detail. Cate Blanchett has a history of making things work, but her skin is so pale, from a distance it would look like she has a reverse suntan. (So says the woman who is so pale that a tinted moisturizer looks like blemishes.) But if you're in between Cate Blanchett and Jennifer Lopez (then you're life is more fabulous than mine), let's say you're Jennifer Lawrence (see, sooooo much more fabulous), wearing this swimsuit is going to look like you are running around on the beach in a giant boob bow. Of course, if your goal is to ...

Are you kidding me with these? I don't think I've ever seen so many sandals on a Fall Winter runway as I have this season. Unless that bottom part is a flotation device that will allow me to walk across water, these aren't even good sandals! (Celine) What is that thing? The thing with legs. Manish Arora's show featured at least three of these. Are they body pillow hoodie bears? That's a dream come true for people who've always wanted to turn their bean bag furnishings into fashion. The skirt, shoes, and gloves of this Rochas ensemble all get a passing grade. The top, however, looks like a skinned teddy bear. If it were fitted at all, it would look warm and sensory delightful. This entire collection was beautiful but weirdly boxy. It's not that these sneakers from Chanel are any more ugly than your average fashion sneaker. It's that it's a Chanel sneaker. How is this on brand? Actually, several designers from Marc Jacobs to Chanel se...

A cop top, sheer skirt, and booty shorts? Smells like autumn. (Aquilano.Rimondi) I bet this jacket looks better when she wears the full offensive line padding underneath. (Aquilano.Rimondi) Grody combover horrors have continued in Milan. (Marni) Those arm bands are an early teleportation device, but if you don't calibrate each one perfectly you risk losing a leg or your outfit. (Dsquared2) What is black, white and red all over? (Roberto Cavalli) If Sully and the Abominable Snowman from Monsters Inc produced offspring, it would have been skinned and turned into this coat, which is sad because that would be a pretty cool monster. (Emporio Armani) Comparmentalized fanny packs are going to be all the rage. (Missoni) This dress makes it look like this pokemon (Haunter) is eating the model. (Emilio Pucci)* *Much of the copy of this post was written by becca. I just want to make it clear that Pokemon and I have zero relationship. Where can I get a fl...