Day in a Life (DIAL) of a Mum 2016

As if you guys are still not familiar with our life today I am going to write a post about it again.  2 years ago, I wrote about the After Work Hours of a FTWM, so has things changed 2 years later?  Oh, definitely!  Besides being a full time working mum and a mum blogger, I am also a crafter now, on top of that I cook "ferociously" on weekday nights for a healthy home cooked dinner for the family.  Adding on to the one hour coaching the boy on his school work and revision too.  All these are new routine that requires time to adjust and I am glad that I persisted, the result is tremendously great!  So read on and find out about a typical day of our household.

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My day still starts early as the alarm went off at 515am (usually at 4am+ on weekend mornings) where the snooze button will be hit a couple of times till its 530am; yes I need time to get myself wide awake.

After washing up, I'll go into the kitchen to make myself a cup of instant kopi-O, sometimes I put laundry to wash and off to the study room I go to do stuffs to do before the rest of the family rises.  What stuffs?  Stuffs like blogging (like now) and finishing orders for my online shop.

An hour plus later it's Rise and Shine for the boy who jumped out of the bed almost immediately (I always wonder how he does that!) to wash up.  Breakfast for him is usually a cup of Enfagrow formula milk, he rarely eats anything coz according to him "my system has not wake up yet.".  I am not the least worried because the milk keeps him full and gave him energy for the morning till his recess later in the morning.

While he takes 15mins or so to finish his cup of milk, I went off to either hang up the laundry or get ready for work.  After I'm done, he will heads off to the bathroom for a quick shower too and get ready for school. We are out of the house 45mins later (oh before that I have to kick DinoPapa up from his comfy sleep hahahaha!)

School is a stone's throw away, but sometimes we still manage to make him late for school *opps* but this year we are doing great in this area, only late for school ONCE back in August.

We parted our ways at the school gate and I continue my journey to my workplace in town.  I love the morning train ride to work because I get to do my crafts, its therapeutic and wakes my mind slowly (yupe still feeling sleepy).

I reach office on time and starts to settle down to begin my busy day.  As I woke up real early, by this time I will be famished, I'll either make myself a cup of instant cereal or milo but recently I've been having a better & healthier breakfast; banana nut crunch cereal with milk is one of them.

Well, with a full stomach I am ready to tackle the day's work that includes handling phone calls, courier guys, attending to bosses (I have 7 of them!) requests and work instructions, doing accounts and admin work.  Some days it's a mad day where I don't even have time to visit the little girl's room, some days it's peace and quiet that I feel like falling asleep on my table.... Of course NOT!  

During such times I busy myself on the social media (who doesn't hehehe~) or I'll take out the stack of assessment books or past year test papers which I lugged to work that day to mark.  Yupe, I've been more persistent in getting him to do his revisions coz I am more worried about his school work as he progresses towards P5. Things will get a little bit tougher and more challenging as the school gears them towards PSLE, knowing my son I know he will do well but there may be chances that he is over confident with himself.  Thus I want to keep his feet on the ground and ensure that he practice & revise his school work.  So far our arrangement has gone well, in the morning I will mark them out and leave the books on his study table, he will finish them diligently when he comes home from school. Now, its the marking by this mama that still needs some improvement, that is why I bring them to office.

The most important part of a work day for all working adults is LUNCH, the same goes to me too.  Working in town does means that every thing costs slightly more, a bowl of ban mian 版面, sliced fish noodle can easily cost SGD5 to SGD6, a plate of chicken or char siew rice is SGD5 with miserable pieces of meat.  So a year plus ago I started to cook my own lunch in the office, thank goodness my bosses and colleagues has no objections about that.  I don't do the whole stir frying, deep frying or anything, I just use my Electric Lunch Box or ELB to steam my food.  Sometimes I'll bring last night's left over dinner to heat up and eat with rice or noodle but most of the time I cook them fresh because I am able to buy fresh ingredients from the nearby supermarket and keep them in the office's fridge to cook for the rest of the week (Lucky me eh?) 

Here are some of the food that I cooked in the office.  A friend once mentioned that my lunch is always very exciting because I get to cook different food almost every day.

Despite my busy workload I was able to knock off on the dot daily, its a mad rush n squeeze in the train back home, sometimes with that day's dinner ingredients in my hand.  Dinner time in the family is a serious affair.  I will take turn with DinoPapa to cook and as we probably have about an hour to get everything served on the table, things can get a little bit chaotic in the kitchen.  Sometimes temper flares because of reasons like getting into each other's way.  Some days things are smoother, DinoBoy has started to help out more in the kitchen since last year so we can let him do some cutting and cooking of the food under our supervision.  This boy really like to learn cooking, I think he takes over the dad plus he sees both of us made great food in the kitchen and it inspires him into wanting to follow us too.

It's usually 3 dishes + a soup but sometimes we make do with 2 dishes and no soup.  Most important thing is we have healthy home cooked food to end our day.  As you can see from the follow photos, we have moved on from simple one pot dish dinner to more lavish sumptuous dishes.

R&R time after dinner will usually see me sticking my nose at my mobile phone playing games, sometimes if our pet hamsters are out from their slumber early I will play with them together with DinoBoy. We adore both Russel and Bacon, they may be brothers be but their character are totally different.  Guess who is the tam jiak or gluttonous one?

In a short while we either proceed to the study room to do our stuffs; DinoBoy continue with his revision or he will grab a book to read while I sit down to do my craft work.  If he's doing revision it will take him about 30mins, after that it's reading time.  We do not have screen time; exceptional case to DinoPapa (dads always do not fall into the Rule thingy) on weekdays, now that he is older, he is able to plan out his time, keep himself occupied instead of bugging me to play or entertain him.

Things are getting slower at home for me, especially the night.  Although I do not have After Work Happy Hours I am starting to meet up with my girl friends recently.  We agreed that it is going to be at least a monthly meet up so we shall see how things turned out.

Bed time is 10pm for DinoBoy, I will stay in the study room to finish up my craft or a little bit of blogging before turning in for the night about an hour later, that also marks the end of the day for us.

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This post was written as part of the Day in a Life (DIAL) blog train that is being hosted by Mum in the Making. Please click on the button above to read more DIAL posts. It's been so interesting taking a peek into the lives of other mums!

Next up on the blog train is Lynn, a SAHM to her two young children, Faith and Daniel. She spends each day designing and carrying out homelearning activities for her children, on top of managing household chores. Through the blog, she hopes to share motherhood stories and resources with fellow moms, along with her other interests such as baking and health & fitness.

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Confessions of an Imperfect Mum

Loosely translated as;

My Mum
Name : Lim
Work : Accountant
Hobby : scolding me and Dad
I wish to tell her: Do not scold me and Dad

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I posted the above photo in my facebook page for the pure purpose of sharing the #kidssaythedarnestthing or face palm moment.  The photo has since garnered 5524 views, 15 shares, 61 likes in my page and 32 likes in my personal facebook in just 21 hours.

For those who clicked "Like", I'd like to think that you did so because you are in the same shoes as me (regardless of gender) or perhaps you find humour in it or maybe you think this 9 year old is speaking the hard truth.

Regardless of the reason, I felt them, all A.T. T.H.E. S.A.M.E T.I.M.E. with roller coaster ride emotions in that 30 seconds while I was taking it all in and mouthing "What the hell" slowly.

Ok before I go on I have to put a disclaimer, I rarely scold DinoPapa, why in the world would I do that?  Most of the time I just grumble or nag at him, or we argue - sometimes too loudly too, not that I wanted to but I get all loud when agitated, its my character, can't help it.

So, the boy just pushed my reputation up another level, towards the negative side no doubt. *sigh*  Well, fierce and stern I am, Tiger Mum I admit though not 100% but but but *starts of dramatic crying* "Son~~ I am doing this for your OWN good~~~ How could you be so cruel to me~~~!!!!"  Alright alright!  Enuff of the Drama Mama!

The Hard Truth is, I am what he said in that one liner.  No shocking expression over here I believe, everyone knows that I am far from being the prim and proper, soft spoken type of Mum.  I see any behaviour I don't like from him I'll holler at him to stop, even if its like across the room.  I put my son under my tight reins, I nipped his undesired behaviour at the bud when he was very young BUT I praises him when he does well and is over the moon when he managed to accomplish something that he couldn't for the past weeks/months.  My motto?  I punish and I reward accordingly.

Yupe, that's what they said and they are right.

For all the horrible, monstrous things I said and did to my son, there are many more nicer, pleasant, happier, fun moments too (I've got proof!  Just scroll through my instagram or the facebook page), but.. what the heck, who can fight with the brain who tends to do the above constantly?

Parenting is such hard work, being a Mum just made the job doubly hard because we seems to be the one that the kids will run to for every thing and anything under the sun.  And, let's face it, we worry MORE about our kids than our partner, we have all these "What If"s or "I Wish"s or "I Want"s messing running constantly inside our mind that we try to find answers or ways to achieve that expectation.  In the process we got all uptight (in confusion too sometimes) when things turned out the other way and that's where it gets a little bit heated up which leads to some tongue lashing at the kids for "not trying hard enough", though most of the time WE, the parent, doesn't know how much effort is deemed enough.  We are being hard on ourselves so in turn we pass that onto our child in double dosage.

When we are dealing with kid's tantrums, they advised us to "pick the battles to fight", in this case I'll say the same too.  Choose your expectations you have on your child, keep the level realistic and reachable, guide them to become the person you wish him to be.  You can't possible be a perfect parent with a perfect child who scores all 20 expectations without any meltdowns, that only exist in the movie so you better get that off your head right now.

I have been quite lax with DinoBoy lately, not because I care lesser now that he is older but because I looked past all my expectations on him and the expectations from the others from me - the Mum who has to do all the right things.  Took me 7 years to realize this but thank God that I finally "opened" my mind and eyes.  I stroke off most of the expectations I have for DinoBoy and kept things simple .  From there on, we talked a lot, including the things that I would like him to do and the stuffs that I prefer him to stop doing.  I gave him something that makes him feel important... I gave him a sense of Responsibility.  He is responsible of his schoolwork, his behavior in school (no more outbursts no more fighting etc) and things around him.  It did not happen overnight, we are still working on it, hence the "scolding" episodes are still around because kids have a memory of a gold fish!  Arrgghh!!! What's so difficult to remember to pick up and put the dirty clothes into the laundry basket after he has showered and changed?  Or switch off the lights after he left the room?

All is not lost, recently I see great improvements from him, I gave myself a small pat at the back and said "We made it!".  You bet I let DinoBoy knows how proud I am and I even thanked him for doing things without being asked to.  He was grinning ear to ear and pretty pleased with himself too.

I hope this post serves as a reminder to every parent, to hold that tongue the next time you feel the need to lash out at your child, instead take a second to think if there are alternative ways to deal with the situation.  If you have been scolding or yelling at your child at any given moment and need suggestions to give you a head start, just hop off to one of my earlier post here, you should be able to get some ideas to curb that monster inside you.

Of course the said homework was corrected to show a much "normal and pleasant" Mum, his Chinese teacher will not be falling off her chair either laughing her head off or with disbelief in her eyes.

Last but not least, if you are interested to read all the comments my lovely friends wrote on that photo, click here.  Have fun reading it!

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Freak Accident? Checked!

Remember when you were schooling and there is always this one or two classmates (usually boys) who are extremely naughty and showing disrespectful attitude towards the teachers, causing disturbance in class, always up to some kind of mischief?  I have a few of these classmates during my time and never in my dream that my own child will be just like them.

He walks around the classroom during lesson to chit chat with classmates regardless of whether he finished the work given to him or not.  He climbed up the window grill just coz "its's fun", during classroom discussion he challenges the teachers with questions; sometimes intelligent other times just rubbish, slams door, slams window, pushed the chair with more than needed force and the list goes on.

Yesterday afternoon I received a call from the school, the very stressed and vexed Chinese teacher told me that DinoBoy "had cut his finger and its bleeding non-stop... I told him not to slam the window too hard but he did not listen, and the window pane broke.  He used his hand to grabbed the broken window pane.  I think he was afraid that it slides down (from 3rd floor) to the 1st floor.  I managed to removed the window pane... but his finger is still bleeding, deep cut and can see a flap of skin... you better come and bring him home to see doc, I'm afraid that the wound may need stitches..."

After that few minutes of listening to her, my first question to her "Was anyone else hurt or injured?" and next I said "I will go to the school now." in a calm voice.  Some of you may think how in the world I can keep my cool instead of firing questions at the teacher about DinoBoy, how can not even ask if my son is ok or not.  Well, frankly I foresee such freak accident will happen sooner or later so in a way I was waiting for THIS phone call.  Plus, besides the broken window pane and a very flustered teacher, every one and every thing else are safe.

I took urgent time off from my boss; who as usual granted my request without much quesions and about 30mins later, I reached the school's General Office.  I saw him sitting in the waiting room and the first words that I said to him is "Serves you right!". Yes, I am THAT kind of Mum.  I had nagged and scolded him about things that he should not do but it all fell to deaf ears, this is the kind of thing he deserves which will definitely made him learn his lesson and never to do it again.  I have no sympathy for foolish acts, not even to my own flesh and blood.  

As if facing the music from his Chinese teacher and myself is not enough, the school's Principal came out of his office to check what was the commotion about (we weren't exactly soft when we were talking some sense into DinoBoy).  I made him tell the Principal the whole incident.  I have to say, his Principal is cool and calm just like his appearance, he spoke in a soft tone telling him the right way to deal with the faulty window latch etc etc.  With his intervention, he cut short the torment DinoBoy has to face from the 2 of us and we left the General Office.

You would have thought we will be hastening our steps to the nearby clinic, NO~WAY~ we took a turn and headed off to the Student Care Centre because he did not report to the centre and no one knows his whereabouts.  Again, I made him tell his student care form teacher the whole incident and he received an earful from her.

An hour plus later, we were sitting with the doctor and this is the first time I am seeing the wound.  It IS a deep clean cut, no flapping skin and the blood started to flow almost immediately when the bandage was removed.  For some one who did not flinch or cry (according to his Chinese teacher) when the teachers were dressing his wound earlier, DinoBoy was squealing "Ouch! Ouch!" and wriggling in the seat when the doctor was trying to stop the bleeding and clean the wound.  He covered his eyes because he didn't want to look at his bleeding finger.  After a well deserved 10mins of agony the wound was glued up with skin glue. I would have wanted him to go through the stitching process, ah well.... 

All through the couple of hours, he did not utter a word of complain nor given me any excuse for his action.  He only apologized for it, he said a remorseful "Sorry" to his Principal and Chinese teacher.  He accepted the stern reasoning and advise by his student care teacher and he apologise many times to me for causing so much trouble for me.  I made him apologise to himself for causing harm to his body with his mindless action.

This morning, after the initial swelling subsided, the wound looks raw and gross but according to DinoBoy its not as painful as yesterday.  Thanks to the lavender Young Living essential oil which I applied around the wound that aids in bringing down the swell.  With the glue on the wound, it should heal well in a week or so.  In the mean time he will be going around with his right middle finger straighten most of the time coz he can't move them as freely as the other fingers till the wound is less painful.

So, has he learnt his lesson? Well, in is own words "Yes! I don't want my fingers to all get cut like this!"  

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Appreciating & Embracing Motherhood

This post is part of a blog train which was initiated months before, you are reading a scheduled post prepared a few days ago.  We have joined the nation in mourning from Mar 23 to Mar 29 2015 for the lost of our beloved founding father Mr Lee Kuan Yew.  During this period we will not be sharing any post on our social media platforms.

Before the school closed for the March school break, I received letters from school informing me about;

1. the new supplementary classes time schedule for all subjects
2. the dates for CA2, SA1 and SA2
3. the topics that will be tested during CAs, SA1 and SA2

That just about sums up what its going to happen fm now till end of school year, which is for the next 8-9 months.  So what did I do?  *heaves a big sigh* Well... a Mum gotta do what a Mum gotta do.  I threw the letters on the table and said to myself "These can wait!  Tomorrow is the start of the school holiday, we are going to have some fun!"  Woohoo!

You probably said "Ah!  This crazy Mama! How can she just ignore all these important stuffs and concentrate on play play play!??!!" *Ahem* There are more to chasing these academic trails and trying to catch grasp its tail(s) so that we are not left behind.

I was not this relax and care less when the Mum Crown was thrown unto me some 9 years ago.  I read extensively on raising babies, about baby food, milestones, and the whole 9 yards.  I started to worry when he fell short against the milestone chart; imagine not speaking even single proper words at the age of 17 months, or even his teeth are not sprouting when friends with babies of almost the same age as my son have teeth coming out like flowers blooming during spring time!  You get what I am trying to say?  So, yes I am throwing aside things that are not really important at that moment and concentrate on spending quality time with my boy NOW.

Aye!  Those were the daze days, stressful days I tell you.  Looking back, it got me thinking...  How was MY Motherhood Journey?  How did I Embrace it?  *cue crow flying across my head... and the goldfish memory kicks in*  Yupe I almost do not have an answer to that... Frankly, DinoPapa remembers MORE on the things I did with DinoBoy because he has a memory of an elephant (HAHA!), but one thing is for sure, Motherhood journey is never an easy one, it has it's Ups and Downs but it was never boring.  Sure, there were times where things got tough and difficult for me to get through, those episodes brought me down to my knees but it will never break me, I ranted, I cried then I brushed the dust off myself, got up and continue my journey.

After scouring this blog for clues and going through the million photographs in my laptop, I managed to refresh my memory.  OKAY OKAY, Just kidding!!!  Seriously now, Motherhood means more than nurturing, educating and providing (both food and clothes) necessities to my son.  It means being there with and for him, creating lasting memories with the things we do together.  It means appreciating him as he is while trying to mould him and instill some values into him so that he can be a better person in future.

And now, I let you peep at the 8 things (there are more, I will probably have to do 2 blog post on this topic if I were to list all down) I did with DinoBoy these pass years.

Sleepless Nights - NOT!

They say taking care of a newborn is tough, you get interrupted sleep or not enough sleep as you have to wake up every few hours to feed the baby.  Well, I am blessed, in a way, I can't breastfeed the boy so I have to put him on formula milk, therefore no waking up every few hours to a hungry baby, he slept till the morning.  He got his full 12hours or more sleep and I had my 8 hours of beauty sleep.   How is that possible you asked?  The Baby Whisperer method helps plus I secretly think that my son loves to sleep and needs ample sleep to function well the next day.

"Non Stop Commercial Free!"
No, this is not a tagline of Starhub Cable TV ads, this is about a certain 9 year old boy.  This only child in the family wants your attention 24/7, shoot you questions every 30secs about every thing and anything under the Stars the Moon and the Sun, oh plus every thing that is in the outer space and beyond.  And I was worried sick when he wasn't talking much at 18 months, could I have that quieter boy back please?

Let's not forget about the "Why?", the "How?" the "Do you know" the Mum, can I ask you a question" moments... Eh, I'm not a walking encyclopedia nor a dictionary or Google!  There were moments after he asked me a question he will say "Oh!  Sorry Mum, I forgot you did not study Science, I'll go and ask Dad."  Wait. wait wait!! I KNOW the answer to THAT question!  Ggrrrr!!! Too late, he has already ran off to find Dad.  Maybe he should have a Nanny A.I. to save this Mama such "embarrassing" moments.

Mummy!  You are so FUNNY!

Yupe, acting funny and silly or even make up funny songs on the spot to amuse the boy.  After that both of us will laugh out real loud and those near us will be staring at us wondering what's wrong with this pair of mother & son.  I have also added in some funny dance moves to the songs too but these are only reserve for the family to see or when I am 100% sure no one will be watching me while I dance because I'm not that comfortable with people staring at me with my gawky, crazy, funny dance moves.

And we love to take funny face selfies too

Games - Indoor, Outdoors & Ad-hoc
We play a lot too, in a post I shared on the blog on September 2014; Play with me Mum and Dad!, I was an outdoor person, but never some one who exercise or do things that strain my muscles and tires myself out.  I did it because I wanted the boy to experience the joy of being out door instead of being cooped up at home facing the wall, the tv, the electronic screens.  

Monster Mum

In the public, with million of eyes staring at us, at me, while I was scolding the then 2-3 years old crying/sobbing DinoBoy and punished him to stand against the wall or at a corner as he had misbehaved.  I am sure I got stabbed million of times by those dagger stares but I stood my ground.  9 years on, I emerged the winner because I have a boy who knows I expects his best behaviour at certain occasions without being told and he knows when he is allowed to run free like a wild horse (with me watching him like a hawk of course).

I never knew the real meaning of  being driven up the wall till I have this little boy who many a times did things that makes me not only want to explode but also scream out loud at the top of my lungs in frustrations.  Imagine Aslan, the lion in The Chornicles of Narnia, roaring loudly at the enemy, well that's exactly how I felt during those times.

Voices can do wonders!

Initially I started like any parent would do, shouted at DinoBoy to "Don't touch!" "Come back here right NAO!!" "Don't run!" till I got so tired of hearing myself shouting & raising my voice.  Then I found out the trick, no yelling no shouting no raising of voice, all I need is warning + low deep tone in my voice that usually means "No nonsense from you" to DinoBoy, plus I don't even need to say much, just a simple "No" "Stop" "Cannot".  And Liza once told me that my No Nonsense voice scared the hell out of her too hahaha~

We love to go shopping and always wonders away from each other, looking at our own stuffs.  How to find each other when I have a phone and he does not?  It's too expensive to buy a set of walkie-takie that will only be used occasionally.  Do a mad dash up and down the aisles to try to find each other?  Nah~ that's too tiring!  So we came up with a solution, we will always keep our ears "open" the minute we stepped into the shop, be alert and ready to hear our secret code.  After that I will stay put while DinoBoy will try to follow my voice to my location .  Works wonder!  No more cat & mouse chase in the shop, no more shouting "Mum! Mum! Where are you!" and making a dozen mums turn their head around in respond.

Kiddish accessorized

When DinoBoy was younger I got away with carrying diaper bags in loud & vibrant colors that you will never see in my bags collection.  We've had backpacks & water bottles of cartoon characters such as Spiderman, Batman, Thomas the Train, Elmo, Angry Birds etc, you name it, we probably had them before.  Now for a short trip to the nearby mall I'll just grab DinoBoy's weekend backpack with the Donatello Lego key chain & the cute Tweety crochet owl that I made, throw in my wallet and off I go.  I carry it like its a very expensive LV bag but truth is I probably look comical with a backpack that looks a tad too small for me on my back, but who cares!

"The Harshest Punishments, The Best Rewards"
Since he was a toddler, we expect the best out of him, we make sure he knows basic values such as Respect, Politeness, Responsibility, Obedience, Good Manners, Friendliness, Selflessness, Sharing, Honesty (I may have missed out a few), we demand him to be at his best on occasions.  This means that I have to discipline him; or my sis said "micro managing", every other minute.  We were harsh on him at times, we don't like it but we know we have to do it.  Very Old School thinking and teaching I know, perhaps there are other ways or method to do it but with this Mama does not have Patience as a virtue when it comes to dealing with the boy who is intelligent, quick witted, strong headed, bad tempered.

The boy once wrote in his school Journal and told a friend that "My mum gives me the harshest punishment when I misbehaved but the best rewards when I am good."  He did not said it in a resentment tone but rather in a as-a-matter-of-fact tone.  It's like he knows this is the way it is and will be, nothing unfair about it or enough for him to complain about it.  I may be judged again on this but its ok, I know I have raised my son well using this method.

He may still lack in some areas but at the minimum he shows respect, gratitude, appreciation & righteousness.  He's ever so ready to tell the food court ah gong ah ma "Thank You!" when they clear bowls and plates after we are done eating, this made them very happy, some even commented "so guai (good boy)".  Just the other day, we were collecting tickets at the Golden Village ticketing counter, this auntie behind the counter was wearing a surgical mask and speak with a hoarse voice, apparently nursing a bad throat infection, before we leave he told her loudly "Hope you get well real soon!" I am sure he made that auntie feel great for the rest of the day.

I know you are dying to know what harsh punishments we dished out to him.  Besides  blowing my top at him, ignoring him for the rest of the day, the ultimate one is... No screen time lor!  That's his "death sentence" arh! This is because he only gets to play with ipad, smartpones, laptop and watch tv on weekends; technically on Sunday since we are out most of the time on Saturdays, so he treasures the time when he can lay his hands on these gadgets.

And the best rewards?  Well, anything he fancy and most of the time its a book he wanted or a trip to his favourite restaurant.

9 years on and I am still learning, tough job I tell you.  Now that he is in Primary 3, I can relax a little bit and in a few years time I will have to learn how to tackle him when he enters into tween or teen stage.  Given the stubborn genes in him, I foresee that we will be at loggerheads most of the time, I will TRY to change my attitude so that I won't lose him in the midst of all those disagreements, afterall he is my one and only precious gem, my Priceless Son.

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This is part of a blog train hosted by Dominique from Dominique's Desk. Join us as we share our thoughts on Embracing Motherhood.

Next up on the blog train is Danessa from Prayerfull Mum.  Danessa was a school teacher for more than 6 years. When her husband received a scholarship to study his Masters in Georgia Institute of Technology, she started to embrace the new season in her life as a Stay-at-Home Mum when they moved to the United States of America in 2012.

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Parenting from the Heart Seminar by Danone Dumex

Since the day DinoBoy enters our life, I am always reading up on books about raising him right, to make sure that I am doing every thing the correct way so that he eats well, sleeps well, grow up strong & healthy.  No doubt it's a lot of reading but I benefited a lot from these books which made me adopted a balanced parenting style where I was mindful about DinoBoy's emotional and physical development.

Recently we chanced upon a seminar; Parenting from the Heart which we think would provide these useful information for parents, especially the new parents who are clueless or unsure where to start with this parenting thing.  How I wish I have attended such seminars during my time, it will definitely helped me in raising the boy and have some of my queries answered easily than taking time, sometimes days to search the books or web for the answers.

Parenting from the Heart is an initiative under Danone Dumex's Happy, Healthy, Gracious Singapore movement through which the company provides support to parents in raising a Happy, Healthy, Gracious next generation in the form of a parent education series with doctors and experts from Thomson Medical Centre and other established organisations sharing relevant information

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Play with me Mum & Dad!

I'm a Sesame Street fan and loves all their songs and this particular song Play with Me Sesame is favourite after I first heard it 6-7 years ago.  

Little did I know I will be hearing these 3 words "Play with Me" constantly from DinoBoy for years to come.  We know its easy to engage toddlers by playing with their toys but it gets a little bit challenging when they are older.  Most of us; including the DinoFamily, chose the easy way out by letting the electronic devices babysit our kids.  Luckily we managed to get out from that situation and have introduced many card & board games (you can easily get them from departmental stores or those party supplies stores) to DinoBoy thus spending several nights playing them before bedtime.

Playing is not as difficult as most people think it would be of, but it sure takes a lot of patient especially when your child is starting to learn to play a particular game, he needs time to understand and register the games rules too. Playing is important because it enables us to bond with our kids and a family that plays together (or do things together) becomes a strong & united family.  Sadly most of the adults and kids do not know how to play, hence you read a lot of reports about the importance of playtime or seen government initiated family activities to enhance family bonding.

Well, we've got news for you!  Playing can happen any place any time any where, and unless it's outdoor playtime, you don't need to spend hours on it.  It can take as little as 10 to 20mins of your time but I guarantee you that it will be the best time of your day spending it playing with your child and family.  Let us share with you some of the simple games that The DinoFamily will never get tired of playing, some of them do not even cost you a single cent~

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After Work Hours - FTWM Style

Last year I shared my thoughts on being and remaining a Full Time Working Mum or FTWM after DinoBoy was born.  Today I will let you peek into the stuffs I do after I knock off from work.

I am very blessed to be working in a company that is pro-family, this means that I am able to knock off work on the dot.  It also means that when I am away from the office either on medical leave, on leave for holiday or to take care of the boy when he is unwell, the office will not call me constantly.  They will try to solve any issues themselves and if there is really a need they will send me a text/wassapp to ask me for help.  I can declare loudly that my bosses (all 7 of them!) are wonderful and supportive!

I used to have After Work Happy Hours where I get to do a little bit of shopping, have dinner dates with girlfriends as I could rely on my Mum to help me fetch DinoBoy from school.  Since Mum left us last November my priorities and routine changed, no more gatherings and it's straight to the school to fetch DinoBoy from student care centre.  Luckily I have a great friend to help me.  Her girl is studying in the same school and student care as DinoBoy, she has been helping me to fetch the boy for me.  Not only that, she also brings him to dinner first while I made my way down to meet them.  This means that I do not have to rush to catch the train to try to fetch the boy before 7pm.

On days that I feel like cooking dinner, I will try to get it ready as fast as I cook.  With practice and of course with some useful kitchen gadgets plus early preparation dinner is usually done in under 30mins, such as this miso soup noodle with crab sticks, fish wanton, carrots, meat, Pikachu fishcakes and seaweed.  I simply adores one pot dish which we can have them as dinner for 2 days in a row or simple one dish meal that takes about 15 minutes to get it done.

We usually reach home around 8pm and immediately start our night routine.  We have about 2.5 hours before we turn in for the night.

First on the list is 30 - 45 mins of revision according to our timetable.  We started this since DinoBoy entered primary 1 last year but was not consistent, I decided to enforce it so that it becomes a habit, it can also ensure that he is able to tackle the current subjects effortlessly.  Next year Science will be an additional subject he will have to study, even though DinoBoy is very interested in Science and we have been doing a little bit of Science experiments I think we still have to spend some time on this subject.  Both of us do not like Revision Time but we also know that it is necessary.  Most of the time I will sit down with him to supervise him but sometimes I will leave him to put some laundry to wash, work on my blog posts or prepare the food for next day's dinner.

Revision ends at around 9.15pm, its time to get ready for bed. DinoBoy can choose to read or we could play board games.  On Fridays I allow him to do both, which usually will make him very happy, sometimes he will be too excited to go to bed at the usual bed time but I am ok since next day is Saturday.

I can guarantee you that our Game Time is NOT like this!  It is always fun game of the dreadful Snake & Ladders, Ludo, Ducks in a Row, Reversi, Chinese chess.  We just started this new game; Secret Code and DinoBoy is still trying to learn the rules of the game.  He got confused with the red & yellow clues and was trying real hard to concentrate so that he can figure them out.

Bed time is at 10.30pm, both for me and DinoBoy.  HOORAY!!!!  Now you will say that I am one of the few lucky mummy who gets to sleep so early.  Truth is I can't keep my eyes open after that, sometimes I fall asleep at 9.30pm.  Some days I wish I can stay up late to do my stuffs but no such luck.  I wakes up at 5.30am every morning, this is a habit which I can't seems to get rid of, that perhaps explains why I am so tired at the end of the day.

I must say since the birth of DinoBoy, minus the "I stayed up late after my child is asleep" part, my after work routine is almost the same.  I still get my 8 hours of sleep which does not seems to be ever enough, some days I wake up feeling tired and wish its weekend.

With only 2.5hours on weekdays, there isn't much fun and interesting things I can do with DinoBoy.  We have a No Screen Time Rule on weekdays so I have to engage DinoBoy in some other ways, the reading and board games helps a lot, besides being bonding time for us it also creates a stress free nights which is great for winding down and prepare for bed.

So there you have it, my After Work Hours.  Is your after work hours same as mine or perhaps you can spot yours in one of the other 21 FTWM's after work hours.

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This is a blog train hosted by Kids R Simple on "A Peek into the After Work Hours of a FTWM". Read about how the other 21 FTWMs handle their kids and household everyday from 1 June to 21 June. The aim is to give other working mums motivation, ideas and support to deal with the everyday demands of juggling work and family while keeping sane. We will be happy to hear your story, tips and even an encouraging word will make our day! Share your thoughts in the comments!

Next up on the blog train is ~

Connie is a FTWM who blogs at www.rayconniebaby.blogspot.com who is an apple convert, writes about the growth of her family, her growing passion and knowledge of healthy meals and random thoughts. "Parenting wasn't an easy journey from the beginning but nobody did tell the satisfaction at the end of the journey"

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Fisher-Price Apptivity™ Seat for iPad® device - Laps Not Apps for Babies!

Source : Fisher Price

When I saw this photo on my facebook newsfeed a few days ago, my heart sank.  I don't follow toddler's toys (since I am over that stage) and has been very careful with the toys that I exposed to DinoBoy since he was young but it seems like some genius "toy maker" have just "invented" some dumb genius product.  I just have to click the post by CCFC (Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood) to read about it.

I felt utterly disgusted after reading the post.  Really Fisher-Price, I think you have been led on by the sound of the cashier ka-chinging instead of having the children's best interest at heart like you were supposed to. Seriously sticking an iPad right at a baby's face, what were your designers thinking!!!!

One of your product description reads "Option to insert your iPad® into the mirror’s case for another way to stimulate and engage your child." is atrocious.  Do we really need an iPad to stimulate our babies?  What happened to cuddles, snuggles, counting little fingers and cute little toes and pure plain human contact?  What happen when one day the parent has got butter finger while inserting the iPad into the mirror case while baby is on the bouncer?

To my best knowledge (I only used a baby bouncer seat on the boy like a month before I stashed it in the store room) a bouncer seat is design to secure the baby safely on an inclined position so that he is free to explore with his eyes and play with toys that are dangled in front of him.  It is also a great way to keep the baby focus to the caregiver who supposedly will be sitting in front of the bouncer seat interacting with the baby.  Now, instead of seeing a human face the baby is being drawn to the flicking images from the screen right in front of him.  How sad it is!  I don't know about you but it makes me thought of some horror movie where some poor person is being kidnapped by some crazy scientist, strapped on the wrists and ankles in front of some device getting stimulated visually or some kind for the so-call "experiment".

Yes, that's right, I think the appropriate word to use is TORTURE.  Visually and mentally tortured.  And I think that is how the baby feel if he is able to speak out for himself!

And after being guilty for the act, I am all in for not exposing a baby to iPad or iPhone or even tv.  A baby's best "tool" to learn at such young age, about themselves and environment, is YOU.  Yes, YOU, his parent!  Guilty as charged I have never allowed gadgets on the dining table.  I always frown when I see parents drop the iPad or iPhone or tablet in front of a child (some as young as 2YO) at the dining table.  The child will eat with her eyes glued to the screen.  What happened to enjoying meals as a family together and interacting with each other?

I have a 7YO and when he was 3-4YO we made the same mistake of exposing him to our then new toy, the iPad.  So during most of the weekday evening, after our dinner you will find DinoBoy playing games on the iPad and both me & DinoPapa will be either watching TV or with our nose stuck on our laptops.  Not much of a family time huh.

When I try to engage DinoBoy with some talks, discussions, dishing out instructions, it all fell to deaf ear.  Even when I asked sternly "Did you hear what I just said?" he will simply nod his head with his eyes glued to the iPad or the TV, obviously not registering what I just said. 

It also affects me too, I will get frustrated or irritated when DinoBoy or DinoPapa tried to talk to me when I am on the laptop either building up a blog post, playing games or doing some reading.  My temper was quick and I was impatient.

This is how damaging and unhealthy screen time is!

And the good doctors are diagnosing more and more children with ADHD or showing "destructive behaviour", they are giving out pills to "make them focus" or "calm their nerves".  If parents are able to open up their eyes to realize the root cause of these "undesired behaviour" are due to exposing or over exposing their child to too much screen time then they will not be pumping pills into their child's body.

Source

I am glad that we managed to realized the negative impact screen time have on us and when DinoBoy's emotional outbursts in school turned for the worst earlier this year, I took the opportunity to cut out all screen time for him and only allow restricted usage during weekends.  

We, the DinoFamily have already taken steps to cut down screen time and control DinoBoy's time on the electronic gadgets, are you ready to join us?  We urge you to join us too if you care for your child.   Don't wait, act now!

If you think Fisher-Price's Apptivity™ Seat for iPad® device should be taken off the shelves, click the link below and sign up the petition. 

Babies need laps, not apps. Fisher-Price should focus on developing products that actually facilitate learning, development, and interaction with caregivers, instead of encouraging parents to strap down babies—even those too young to sit up—inches from a screen. Let’s tell them to go back to the drawing board and recall the Apptivity Seat for iPad. - CCFC

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4 points to ponder before starting tuition

I actually planned to write this post in early November but some family issues came up and I only have time to pen my thoughts now.

Its December and by now the kids would have received their report books and the parents would have know how well their kids had performed this school year.  Some may fare well and some not.  After you have seen your child's result, before you scream your head off because she had fared badly or not up to your expectations, google for the popular tuition centres and starts to call them up one by one, take 3 deep deep DEEP breathe and CALM DOWN!  Think calmly about the reason(s) for your outburst, anxiety, dissatisfaction with the result.

What made you decide to ship your child to the Land of Tuition if you have not OR if your child is already in the Land of Tuition, what triggers your decision to change tuition centre or add MORE academic enrichment classes to her already busy schedule.

Source : Unknown

I hope you already have the answers to my questions, keep them in mind always, now ponder on the following points;

Expectations

"What are my expectations of my child's academic results?"

If you say that it must be good, then what is consider good to you?  A score of above average or a score of more then 60, 80 or 90 marks? 

Let's look at Singapore Primary 3 to 4 School Achievement Band.  This is not applicable to Primary 1 & 2 since the streaming starts at Primary 3 but in some schools Primary 1 students are being graded on the same scale so the teacher can gauge their performance.

Primary 3 to 4

Band 1: 85% and above

Band 2: 70% to 84%

Band 3: 50% to 69%

Band 4: Below 50%

Primary 5 to 6 standard stream

A*: 91% and above

A: 75% to 90%

B: 60% to 74%

C: 50% to 59%

D: 35% to 49%

E: 20% to 34%

U: Below 20%

Click here to see the grading of other levels

By looking at the above, anything that is 85/100 and above is consider very good since (1) it falls under Band 1, the highest grade for the Primary 3 to 4 grading and (2) Grade A for the Primary 5 to 6 grading.  Ok, at least that is how I see it and set as a target for a start.

So, decide on your expectations and set the grade that you want your child to achieve, realistically.  You do not tell your child that she MUST score 100 marks for each subject when she is already scoring above 95 marks.  Mind you, there are such parents out there! 

Purpose

"What will my child gain if I send her to this tuition?"

Thinking of the Expectations above, how will your child benefit from attending tuition?   What do you want her to gain from attending tuition?

Of course your child definitely needs extra help if her results are not good, in general context like when she failed that subject but if she is scoring over 90 marks per subject, do you think she needs to go for one?  Or perhaps her good results (read - expectations met) will make you decide to drop some tuition classes?

Either way, you might want to look into adapting the next action below as an alternative or as a reinforcement.

Be involved

"Am I willing to spend at least an hour each day to either coach my child with his schoolwork or do something with him?"

By being involved with your child I do not mean that you pile loads of assessment books onto your child, leaving them to finish X number of chapters on each book alone.  Its useless to just dump enroll your child with some tuition or academic enrichment classes without playing your part to reinforce what she has learned in school.

It means you are sitting by her side, providing some support and guidance if she faces some problem in understanding her school work.  Most of us are full time working parents but with a little bit of adjustment you should be able to set aside an hour or so each day to do that.

We heard many parents complaining that the subject syllabus and teaching methods are totally different from our time, they absolutely have no idea how to teach their kids.  I am sure the school has some parents support group (I know DinoBoy's school has such group) where you can find out on all the info.  The internet is also a great place to find out info too, make full use of that and don't we all love Facebook friends who are always there 24/7 throwing us some lights whenever we post a question?

An important lesson that I learned in my 7 years of parenthood is that it's ok to admit to your child that you do not know the answer (we are not a walking encyclopedia or walking Google after all!).  They will not judge you but instead will feel inspired by you because you have the courage to admit it, took the effort to find out the answers and work together with them to solve the problem.

Being involved does not only apply to your child's academic work, it also include every thing in their life from basic needs, emotional needs, material needs, spiritual needs etc. 

Failure & disappointment

Some one told me that she overheard a Mum screaming on top of her voice to her child "I send you here to learn things, NOT TO MAKE FRIENDS!!!"  woah~~~ Chill Mummy!  Making friends and having fun is also a way of learning but that's beside the point now.  Or I overheard this myself "I don't know anything now, he get such a lousy result I can't be bothered with him any more.", this mummy said this in front of her child...

Are you willing to accept & embrace failure and disappointment?  I seriously hope that you are not the same as Mummy #2 above.  It is devastating for your child to hear such words coming out from someone they supposedly trusted so much and an action that will definitely crushed them entirely.

If despite the "help" from the tuition, your child's result did not improve much, how will you react?  Do you hit the roof like Mummy #1 above or you sit down to analyze the problem?  There may be some underlying problem which you may not noticed it before.  I am not saying there is "something wrong" with your child but perhaps she needs a different kind of help then attending endless tuition.

I am and still is not pro tuition even though DinoBoy started Chinese tuition recently.  So far DinoBoy is enjoying the lessons, getting along well with new friends and teacher.  All work were given out and completed in the centre so no home work for the students to bring home but they have Chinese spelling every week.  I guess having one of his schoolmates in the same class as him makes settling down easier for him.

Then I signed him up for the Chinese Comprehension Holiday Enrichment classes that is being conducted every Wednesday morning.  This means that I have to take leave for 4 Wednesdays to bring him to class but I get to spend the rest of the day with him either chilling out at home or going out for some fun.   I wasn't enthusiastic about this extra tuition but I want him to get proper guidance from teacher in getting or finding answers to the questions then writing them down in a proper full sentence instead of blindly copying or just a 2 words answer.  Also he will not starts arguing or become defensive when I question his answer, he will be more receptive on the teacher's guidance and words. 

Frankly, with only ONE tuition class to attend once a week, we are already feeling the strain from it.  Maybe because it's on a weekday where all of us have already spent a day at work or at school, instead of going home to rest we have to rush to pick the boy up from school to go home first to deposit his super duper heavy school bag before heading out for a quick dinner then to the centre.  All these have to be done in slightly more than an hour!  Thank goodness we are staying near the centre so we save on traveling time.

I shudders at the thought of going to more tuition classes and hope that this will not ever happen to us, I can guarantee you that DinoBoy will act out in protest with his outbursts and undesired behaviour.   As an adult we are already feeling tired and frustrated with just ferrying the child to & fro the tuition centre.  I am sure the child will feel double dosage of it since they are the one attending the lessons, they will most likely be both mentally and physically burnt out by the end of the day. 

Whatever decision you made to your child's future, remember these important things: -
1. Never forget to encourage your child on the efforts they have shown and put in.
2. Continue to reassure them that you understand that learning journey are not easy and you will always be there to help him in every ways.
3. Listen to them, observe them.  Are they being overloaded with schoolwork and tuition work?  They are human not robots, they can only endure and take so much pressure and stress.
4. Show them loads of LOVE!

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Starting Primary One #21 - Its finally the end of Primary One

Its finally November 2013, it also means that its the end of Primary One journey for DinoBoy.  Pardon me while I hide in the closet to cry my happy tears, not only because we survived the year but also we have encountered many hurdles and we managed to conquer them, slowly but steadily we take them down one by one.  One of the greatest hurdle we faced was DinoBoy's temper and outbursts, we are definitely relieved that we were able to finally to find a solution to that (more on that later) too.

I went for the Parent Teacher meeting this morning and I received positive feedback from DinoBoy's teachers.  When I sat down at the table, his form teacher Ms J started by saying "Its not a surprise that he scored well in my class as he is one of my brightest student."  Oh wow~ surprise surprise~  "He is always participating in class and always the first few to give the answer when I asked questions." she continued.  Not bad~ Still the enthusiastic despite the several issues he was facing/handling.  Ms J said that she is happy to see that DinoBoy is able to control his emotions and has not been exploding as much, this has improved a lot since starting of the year but still need a little bit of fine tuning.

She cited an example on the recent incident where she told DinoBoy that she will not pick him to be one of the 20 students from the class to perform in one of the school's event as he misbehaved and did not listen to her instruction that day.  She was expecting a major meltdown with screaming, shouting, crying from him instead he was calm and told her "I know you did not pick me because I was not behaving well." then proceeds to sit at a corner.   Now everyone, please join me to pump my fist up in the air, jump up in joy and shout at the top of my lung "WOOHOO!!!"  On top of that, he's seeing the school counselor lesser during the last term, double WOOHOO!!!!

However when I met up with Ms H, the Chinese teacher later she mentioned that DinoBoy was unable to contain his anger during her class.  Bummer... just when I was starting to celebrate...  I did not elaborate more about DinoBoy's issues to her since its the end of the year, I'll just have to build rapport with the new Primary Two Chinese teacher next year.  That aside, Ms H did have positive feedback about DinoBoy's Chinese, she said that his oral and reading is good but just a little bit careless when doing his written work.  He tends to finish it fast and fails to check his work or test paper, sometimes this caused him lose some marks in the test/exam paper.  She also said that she was afraid he may fail his Chinese due to this but surprisingly he fared quite well.  Having said that, we both agreed that it is important that he must build up his foundation so that it will not affect his overall result during streaming in Primary Three.

So there, this is DinoBoy's report book and I am extremely proud of his Chinese result which he achieved under our coaching.  I am extremely pleased with myself, with us, that despite the tears, anger and high tension on several nights and weekends, we succeeded!

It has been a year of expectations, new experiences & routines, anger, tears, stress, hardwork and achievements.  After a one month plus of "rest"we shall be back to some routine and putting in some efforts to tackle Primary Two school work.  Till then, we are going to play the fullest and the hardest.  We are deserved it, especially DinoBoy.

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I am sharing DinoBoy's Primary One experiences in this series.  I hope it will serve as a useful guide to parents when its their time to get their child ready for the new journey and have an idea how Parent Volunteer works.

Click the button below and you will be able to see all my posts on this topic or grab the badge if you are sharing your thoughts about this topic.

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Welcome to the Land of Tuition

"Tuition" - most parents have a complicated love-hate relationship with it, they can't decide if they are doing the right thing for their child by making tuition part of their child's life or keep it out of their door forever.  I have heard parents from both sides giving their valid reasons for their decisions.  Personally I think there are no right or wrong decision for sending a child for tuition, I am only against loading the child with too many tuition and preventing them from having serious playtime and most importantly ample rest time.

I remember when I was schooling, my results were slightly above average and I was struggling with Maths all through the years, "tuition" has never crossed my parent's or my mind at that time and I was lucky that I have always managed to score a borderline pass for this subject.  My mum will of course scold/nag at me for the undesirable result but I guess so long I don't get red marks in my report cards she is ok.  I only had Maths tuition for a couple of months while preparing for my "O' levels and its a miracle that I scored a C5 instead of F9 for it. 

Anyway, that was me and that happened more then 2 decades ago, things are different now and the expectations are higher.  Even so, when DinoBoy was born I was determined not to start him on tuition or any academic enrichment lessons till its deem necessary.  So he did not attend any classes to make him "more clever" or to be more advance than others as it was never my intention to purposely turn him into a boy who excels in everything, I only wanted him to grow up strong, healthy, happy and have loads of fun every day. 

So while most of my friends were bringing their babies to left (or is it right or perhaps its both side...) brain training, gym classes to train their agility/motor skills and some other classes, this little boy goes to child care centre, having all the fun in learning the basic ABCs 123s together with a bunch of kids in the class. 

When he was 3-4YO, his friends were attending I Can Read classes, some more left/right/both sides brain training or some other type of classes.  The only extra lesson he had was a weekly class at Boogie Bug conducted by The Amazing ToyBox and for a year he danced, jived and had fun with Reuben & Mark.  He love to dance to the rhythm of music and sometimes both of us will do a little dance together too.

At 4YO onwards, his friends were attending some abacus class, tuition for English, Chinese and Maths, he was splashing colors on canvas at WowArt Learning Studio and later on at heART Studio, he was also splashing water in the neighbourhood swimming complex under the guidance of his very strict swim coach.  We went to many plays, enjoying an hour of entertainment each time and talking about the play even weeks after we watched them.

Of course during these 6 years I had my fair share of worries like the time when was 3YO, his friends were already reading simple story books, this little boy still don't know how to recognise and pronounce words like "the" or "house".  My attempts to make him sound the words using phonics failed terribly.  I hopped around anxiously, battled with myself whether to send him to I Can Read or not so that he can "learn to read".  I spoke to his teachers who assured me that he is able to read in class and doing it quite well too.  I trusted their words and my instincts, stood my ground and piled him with loads and loads of books, reading to him every night without fail.  I succeeded a few months later and through the process I have also cultivated his love for books.  He is now an advance reader and chomping books like nobody's business, demanding me to buy more books for him or bring him to the library to borrow books to chomp errmm... I mean read.

When DinoBoy started Primary 1 earlier this year, I was not a bit worried because his child care centre has prepared the kids way in advance so they can adjust to the new environment easily without worrying about catching up with the school work.  Then a couple of months into the school I started to notice that he has a little problem in recognizing Chinese character or HanZi .  I was puzzled by this as I am very sure his child care centre's Chinese teacher taught him well and he could read many words then.  I did a little bit of investigating and found out that the school has been focusing on HanYuPinYin thus learning Chinese character or HanZi has taken a back seat.

I took matters into my own hands, bought some Chinese books to read to him but was not persistent at that time which made me regret for not doing so.  When he failed the subject by 1 mark during his Term 2 Holistic Assessment Test, I almost had an heart attack.  Still I stood my ground, no tuition for him but I will try my best to coach him and do some intense learning by doing assessment books and past years test paper to help him so that he can score better for year end test.

Few days into our Conquer Chinese journey, I almost wanted to raise the white flag, to tell DinoBoy that he is allowed to fail his Chinese this time.  I held my tongue because I do not want to teach him to quit even before trying.  I want him to have the Never Quit attitude in every thing he do, to put in 100% effort and reap the rewards or to embrace failure wholeheartedly so that he will become stronger to take on the challenge again with a positive mind.  I pushed on even though my temper flares every night, we had a few talks about these extra learning whenever he felt dejected.  I reminded him that earlier in May he told me he will work harder so that he will be in Higher Chinese class next year.  Frankly, it is not important to me if he goes to that class or not and I am not pushing him to go for that too but if he wants to set that as his target, I am fine with it. 

Sadly, I really have to throw in the towel after a month plus of intense coaching, I am not patient enough to do it, the temper flaring every night is causing a strain on our relationship, we always end the day feeling bad and lousy, it is definitely unhealthy both mentally and emotionally to all of us.  Last week, we walked into a tuition centre around our neighbourhood and I signed him up for trial classes. 

So we have jumped down from the fence and landed onto the Land of Tuition, I am clearly not happy with the arrangement or with myself.   I hope this will be the only tuition he will ever have and I'll be able to stop it in a year or so.  Till then, I will seek comfort that his Chinese will definitely improve tremendously under the guidance from the tuition centre's teachers.

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