Monday, August 30, 2004
haix.. damn sadx today.. well, doubt i have to go into detail right? my chemistry very very very lousy.. and i mean it lehx.. all the while i studied so hard for this day to come.. omg.. i'm such a terrible loser.. cried in class.. for one hour the least.. haix.. [cries]. then history oso not that good 10 only.. haix.. summore got english test.. i crap all the way manx.. haix.. like shit like that.. all my results like all sink down liaox... cannot maintain mehx? sickening.. one last thing.. JIA WEI's flight is 5.50 a.m. in the morning.. so bloody early fetch wat? pengx leh.. so near yet so far.. this week will go hunt for table tennis racquets liaox.. think going wif Zoe ba.. hahx.. she so pro in table tennis.. dun ask her ask who? hahx. today is such a sad plus disappointing day.. but as usual.. huge bunch of frenx to thanks...
^^thanksx lotsa tO...
Yilin
Choo Min
Eve
Hoi Ting
Hui Min
Melissa
Lisi
Xu Yuan
Jia Zhi
Dylis
Kynaston
Bryan
Guo Qiang
Justin
Clement
Kah Loon
Wallace
Perry
a BIG thanks to u peepx.. and sorry to Jasmine and Gwen.. today i beri sadx.. then when ur talk to me.. i like bo chup like that.. sorry.. i dun mean it de.. anyway, jia wei spirit is within me!
byex..
takkaire[x].
what we could have been, 11:48 PM.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by
what we could have been, 12:07 AM.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
haix.. i very sadx today.. i nearly cried lehx.. jia wei lost to kim hyang mi from north korea.. sososo damn sadx lor.. i laid my confidence in her.. i've been supporting her for so long lehx.. i understand how it feels to lose the match.. not onli the losing of match but also the lost of confidence.. i hope she will gain them back in time for the next match.. [cries] susilo, u must cheer her up okiex? no matter wat.. u lost too, u should know how it feels.. encourage her to go on.. must jia you her and she will win Kim Kyung Ah.. okiex? anyway, i know ur wun be reading this.. but i hope ur know how much ur are to me and singapore.. u guys are great.. jia you for ur next match kae, jia wei.. u can do it de.. haix.. just be urself and u can do it..
anyway, today went to PHS for competition.. nothing much lar.. they play i see lorx.. cant expect much nowadays.. i suck mah, so cannot blame.. i mean wat can i do? i tried my best, and it's just that "GOOD".. i didnt give up.. but will i get anything in return? i dun expect anything in return.. just let me play and be happy.. and i'll stay on.. dun force me pls.. cos i've done my very best..
jia you jia wei..
u rock..
[byex][takkaire][jia.you.jia.wei]
anyway, today went to PHS for competition.. nothing much lar.. they play i see lorx.. cant expect much nowadays.. i suck mah, so cannot blame.. i mean wat can i do? i tried my best, and it's just that "GOOD".. i didnt give up.. but will i get anything in return? i dun expect anything in return.. just let me play and be happy.. and i'll stay on.. dun force me pls.. cos i've done my very best..
jia you jia wei..
u rock..
[byex][takkaire][jia.you.jia.wei]
what we could have been, 11:43 PM.
this is a story i got from someone's blog and i find it touching..
here it goes:
It was first day of the mid-year exams,therefore i finished school a little earlier,i called him, "Hey, i finished school earlier today,would you come by and pick me up?""Alright, give me 5 minutes.""5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house.""I need to get ready.""Alright, make it fast then."2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot,I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself.Although it doesn't make much of a difference,it was better that I fanned.5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up,I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch.10 minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident?15 minutes passed, he finally shown up."Why are you so late?"He wasn't even a lil' bothered,"Nahz, was watching TV.""What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eatbefore you come down then?"I haven't got anything else to say for that,didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood thereand stared at him."Sorry. "This was the first time he said sorry to me...He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl.I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home.He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels.The only thing he does is to apologise.To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry.I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises.He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl.Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes.Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised.I dropped my head: " you don't ever need to say sorry to me again.If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances againand again hoping and believing that you would change each time."He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry.Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever.I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me."What's wrong with you these few days?""Nothing.""Then why are you acting so strange?""I am not.""What can you say other than this answer?Do you know I'm very worried, very insecure, do you treat me as your girlfriend?""I'm sorry...""I don't want to hear you say sorry again."I put down the phone and he did not call back.He doesn't even care about me.Maybe we should....break up. .....this was the 99th time he said sorry...From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him.Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall but everytime I said hello, it was dead,i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up?After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelingsI still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him.I went outside his classroom and looked around,but there was no sign of him."Excuse me, is XOXO here today?""I'm afraid he already stopped schooling.""Huh? Why? When was that?""He hasn't been in school for a month already.""Oh erms...thanks."One month....not in school for one month...why is that so?I stumbled home.Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone....I put down the phone, and called his house next,but there was no answer.How can it be? The whole family migrated?It seems as though he has already disappearedfrom the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace.I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted,the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend.He was one of his brothers and also my good friend."Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital.""REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?""Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time.""I'll be right there."I used the fastest speed my legs could carryand when I reached the hospital I saw thathis parents were already there.I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall.He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word,not moving a muscle."Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me?"He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again."Come on answer me...why don't you speak?"A tear flowed down the side of his eye,and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strengththat he could master to say..."I'm...sorry... "After that, his eyes went shut."Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me?""Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please.."I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt.I cried out.."Why do you have to apologise?Why don't you give me an explanation instead?I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use...If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime,please I beg of you..open your eyes..... "That was the 100th sorry.A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me awayand tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up...My mind was a blank.... my eyes could only see a sea of black.He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore.But he would appear in my dreams sometimes,telling me how he was doing.He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart.He would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore.After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry.The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up.I know this excuse is really lame,but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then,before I stepped out of the house,I felt a pain in my chest,but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me?The second time, my dear, I...The third time, my dear, I...The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world.It had to be so because God did not give methe chance to say "I Love You" for this lifetime of mine,and to put the ring on your finger....You are the first girl I apologised to.And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life...Forgive me for not able to bring you happinessbut I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you...Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear...I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You~XOXOHow can I not cry?What you said was just too impossible.The last photograph was of him in the hospital.Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever.His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th.At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him."I'm sorry."I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....
here it goes:
It was first day of the mid-year exams,therefore i finished school a little earlier,i called him, "Hey, i finished school earlier today,would you come by and pick me up?""Alright, give me 5 minutes.""5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house.""I need to get ready.""Alright, make it fast then."2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot,I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself.Although it doesn't make much of a difference,it was better that I fanned.5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up,I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch.10 minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident?15 minutes passed, he finally shown up."Why are you so late?"He wasn't even a lil' bothered,"Nahz, was watching TV.""What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eatbefore you come down then?"I haven't got anything else to say for that,didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood thereand stared at him."Sorry. "This was the first time he said sorry to me...He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl.I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home.He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels.The only thing he does is to apologise.To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry.I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises.He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl.Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes.Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised.I dropped my head: " you don't ever need to say sorry to me again.If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances againand again hoping and believing that you would change each time."He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry.Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever.I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me."What's wrong with you these few days?""Nothing.""Then why are you acting so strange?""I am not.""What can you say other than this answer?Do you know I'm very worried, very insecure, do you treat me as your girlfriend?""I'm sorry...""I don't want to hear you say sorry again."I put down the phone and he did not call back.He doesn't even care about me.Maybe we should....break up. .....this was the 99th time he said sorry...From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him.Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall but everytime I said hello, it was dead,i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up?After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelingsI still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him.I went outside his classroom and looked around,but there was no sign of him."Excuse me, is XOXO here today?""I'm afraid he already stopped schooling.""Huh? Why? When was that?""He hasn't been in school for a month already.""Oh erms...thanks."One month....not in school for one month...why is that so?I stumbled home.Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone....I put down the phone, and called his house next,but there was no answer.How can it be? The whole family migrated?It seems as though he has already disappearedfrom the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace.I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted,the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend.He was one of his brothers and also my good friend."Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital.""REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?""Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time.""I'll be right there."I used the fastest speed my legs could carryand when I reached the hospital I saw thathis parents were already there.I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall.He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word,not moving a muscle."Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me?"He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again."Come on answer me...why don't you speak?"A tear flowed down the side of his eye,and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strengththat he could master to say..."I'm...sorry... "After that, his eyes went shut."Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me?""Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please.."I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt.I cried out.."Why do you have to apologise?Why don't you give me an explanation instead?I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use...If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime,please I beg of you..open your eyes..... "That was the 100th sorry.A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me awayand tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up...My mind was a blank.... my eyes could only see a sea of black.He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore.But he would appear in my dreams sometimes,telling me how he was doing.He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart.He would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore.After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry.The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up.I know this excuse is really lame,but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then,before I stepped out of the house,I felt a pain in my chest,but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me?The second time, my dear, I...The third time, my dear, I...The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world.It had to be so because God did not give methe chance to say "I Love You" for this lifetime of mine,and to put the ring on your finger....You are the first girl I apologised to.And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life...Forgive me for not able to bring you happinessbut I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you...Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear...I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You~XOXOHow can I not cry?What you said was just too impossible.The last photograph was of him in the hospital.Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever.His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th.At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him."I'm sorry."I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....
what we could have been, 11:13 PM.
Friday, August 20, 2004
ellOx peeps.. life's been hectic for me for the past few weeks.. trying to struggle and keeping up with my school work and stuff.. it's difficult.. anyway, li jia wei rocks okie? she is cute and her table tennis skills are powerful until no words to describe.. she actually won Wang Nan.. woots~ hahax.. enuf of my idol.. i'm cutting my hair this weekend.. wonder how i'll look.. hahx. i nid serious help in a question.. people who have read my blog.. pls tell me if i should continue being a sl.. cos currently.. my stress level is very high.. sigh... anyway, i want to thank danny, wen qin, clement, sheryl, jia zhi, lisi and michelle for being there for me.. thanks my dear frenx. i gtg liaox.. let's cross our fingers and hope for the best for jia wei.. [all.the.best]
jiawei's idol,
signing off~
jiawei's idol,
signing off~
what we could have been, 10:38 PM.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
okay, this post is not going to be a pleasant one.. so just warn u people.. here it goes:
dun think u are great then u can do watever u like.. do u even respect ur peers. do u know how many people dislike u? do u know u ACT too much. do u know wat u did wrongly? do u ever change? do have to wait till someone hates u then u change? dun think ya great just becos ur position is higher than us. dun think that u are a good runner, u can despise others. i hate u. i dun use to and u know it. i gave u a chance yet u didnt treasure it. so say BYEBYE. dun try or even dream of me treating u like a fren again. i'm just waiting for this year to end and be in different class as u. u dun act like nothing happen. cos i'm frank. i told u i hate u. so dUN act like we are friends. cos we simply arent. dun blame me for hating u. cos u started it. u despise others. say stuff sarcastically. most of all u bully them.. and it's physical abuse. do u have a brain? u know that in ur position, it's a lame thing to do. do u know that if u continue doing that, everybody will hate u. and most of them already did that. dun think that u have a lot of frenx. cos it's either someone bigger than u or younger than u. know why? becos ur peers know u tOO well. and u cant act in front of them. cos they know u are ACTiNG. that's y ur frenx are either older or younger than u. if u are reading, pls note that u haf to change. then perhaps u have more frenx. but then smart people will simply know ur acting skills had just improved. pls, dUn acTT.. cos not only do u sucks in that but we feel disguested.. so wat if ur physics and chinese is good? so wat if ur position is higher? pls lar. u dun respect us. we dun respect u. i dun really care if u run fast, chinese and physics good, position higher or a great fren. to me u just arent them.. so DUN ACT in front of me. Let me tell u this, i dun care of wat u used to do to me to make me hate u. BUT PLEASE, dun do that to my friends. u may be good on the surface, but u know u dun have friends. so wat? i'm not going to waste my time blogging abt u. cos it's a waste of time. be glad i didnt write out ur name.
[simply.hate.you]
dun think u are great then u can do watever u like.. do u even respect ur peers. do u know how many people dislike u? do u know u ACT too much. do u know wat u did wrongly? do u ever change? do have to wait till someone hates u then u change? dun think ya great just becos ur position is higher than us. dun think that u are a good runner, u can despise others. i hate u. i dun use to and u know it. i gave u a chance yet u didnt treasure it. so say BYEBYE. dun try or even dream of me treating u like a fren again. i'm just waiting for this year to end and be in different class as u. u dun act like nothing happen. cos i'm frank. i told u i hate u. so dUN act like we are friends. cos we simply arent. dun blame me for hating u. cos u started it. u despise others. say stuff sarcastically. most of all u bully them.. and it's physical abuse. do u have a brain? u know that in ur position, it's a lame thing to do. do u know that if u continue doing that, everybody will hate u. and most of them already did that. dun think that u have a lot of frenx. cos it's either someone bigger than u or younger than u. know why? becos ur peers know u tOO well. and u cant act in front of them. cos they know u are ACTiNG. that's y ur frenx are either older or younger than u. if u are reading, pls note that u haf to change. then perhaps u have more frenx. but then smart people will simply know ur acting skills had just improved. pls, dUn acTT.. cos not only do u sucks in that but we feel disguested.. so wat if ur physics and chinese is good? so wat if ur position is higher? pls lar. u dun respect us. we dun respect u. i dun really care if u run fast, chinese and physics good, position higher or a great fren. to me u just arent them.. so DUN ACT in front of me. Let me tell u this, i dun care of wat u used to do to me to make me hate u. BUT PLEASE, dun do that to my friends. u may be good on the surface, but u know u dun have friends. so wat? i'm not going to waste my time blogging abt u. cos it's a waste of time. be glad i didnt write out ur name.
[simply.hate.you]
what we could have been, 6:47 PM.
Monday, August 09, 2004
disney fantasia
what we could have been, 12:19 AM.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
heyx people.. long time no blog.. had been blogging at xanga.. anyway, just blog here for fun lorx.. will not be a long one anyway.. hahax.. ermx, so how's eberione? fine? heex, okie i'm bo liaox. tues is moi's b'day le.. wahahaha.. going to be older by one year le.. wonder how i would feel.. probably still the same. anyway, wonder how many of the prezzies will hit my wishlist.. heex.. anyway, dun even know if i'll be getting any.. hah! well, at least i got one from my parents.. lOlx.. me as lame as ever.. show ur a cute pic okiex? it's in the post above.. sho cutex worx? haha
takkaire peepx
takkaire peepx
what we could have been, 11:59 PM.
