Sunday, January 27, 2008

tennis

this is the 1st time in years that i've blogged a 2nd time on the same day.

in any case, now its recurring foot injury+groin strain+mild bout of diarrhoea+fever+lower back strain=an unproductive sunday.

in any case today is the first time since 2004 that i watched a live tennis match. the last time i watched a live tennis game was when sharapova won wimbledon all the way back in 2004 as a giggly 17-year old. i still remember that when she was interviewed immediately after that match, it was obvious on the court she seemed older than she was - but off it, she seems like any other 17 year old girl. she was so excited and jumpy as she won her 1st ever grand slam title, and that signalled the rise of a starlet. today's match also announced the arrival of novak djokovic and jo-wilfried tsonga to the world stage. it is interesting how tsonga's shots can just take the speed of the ball away, but djokovic made lesser unforced errors as compared to tsonga. but tsonga's style of play is really interesting. and djokovic still battled through his injury to win. in any case it was refreshing to see new faces in grand slam finals, other than always having to see roger federer always in the finals. anyway i think the shirt that djokovic wore is damn nice. haha. well, both players are sponsored by adidas anyway.

and today we witnessed the passing of the late suharto. i think my readings in 1 of the modules i am taking this semester (government and politics of southeast asia)uld really touch alot on suharto's role in indonesia's growth and development. i think the module is extremely interesting, since i've always really wanted to know the development of this region politically since WWII. oh well, i think this would then put more spotlight on suharto's 32-year reign indonesia.

okay that's all that i wanted top blog about. hopefully tomorrow i'll wake up feeling better.

unwell

the past week has been an interesting week.

with the after action review/post mortem of the night cycling event somewhat done, i suppose i can close that chapter already. it's been great getting involved in the event, and i hope everyone in the committee had fun working with one another. i did, and yes i believe there won't be such a committee as crazy as this. i think it proves that one doesn't have to be ultra-serious in nature to get things done. haha.

on another note i'm gaining back even more injuries. my foot injury has not healed yet, and add to that i have a groin strain on the right side. that's just great. i probably understand now why athletes or sportsman always incur alot of niggling injuries that take forever to heal. and even so, some kind of past injuries might come back to haunt them. sometimes i have trouble walking because of this groin strain, but i think it should clear up soon. it's quite annoying when i can't try harder because of restrictions due to my injuries. in any case, my fitness is really horrible, so i should seriously start running on my own.

yesterday evening my jc classmates had a barbecue to celebrate thomas' and gq's brithday at gq's place. even though i live like a few bus stops from there, i was the 2nd last to arrive. haha. in any case when i arrived, which was around 815pm, there were struggling to get the fire started. it was only at around 940pm then did the charcoal start to burn. i think the charcoal was really of poor quality. since much of the charcoal could not really catch fire, the fire actually burned out in just under 2 hours. although we did manage to barbecue some food actually.

but it was nicer meeting back some who i haven't seen in ages. it's always very nice to see how everyone else has grown up and change, but some things just never change. like the way how some people laugh (read: fang). 5 years ago seems the way it is 5 years on. it's scary to imagine what it will be 5 years later, when most of us will be 27. i always wonder why kids nowadays want to act like they are so grown up. and then when they actually do grow older, they wish they didn't have to. life when i was younger was so much more carefree and we all had lesser worries and things to think about. and now, we are faced with things that are more 'real'. issues of money, marriage, parents love, studies etc will always dominate how we think and how we want our lives to progress towards. i'm too scared to even think of the future, and that's why i like to hark back on the past. at least it has already happened.

in any case recently i've had various interesting conversations with quite a number of people with regards to love matters. i think ever since i've started school, i've heard more stories about people's love lives and their personal lives than i have ever done so in my whole life. it is interesting to note that almost everyone has their story to tell. in any case, there is no one size fits all solution for all love matters, since they emerge out of various factors and reasons, and they happen in different circumstances and surroundings. i am not that great an advisor, but i hope i can be a good listening ear. the most interesting thing is how we can always try and seek solutions for other people, but yet we can't even find proper solutions to our own problems.

in any case i woke up today feeling queasy. i think it's because during the barbecue yesterday i kept drinking 7up and root beer and some mirinda drinks 1 after another, so my stomach has an adverse reaction to it. in any case i think it's a mild bout of diarrhoea so i feel a little under the weather now. i think i shall just go down and lie on my bed and attempt to read my readings. haha. hopefully that chases away the diarrhoea thing.

recurring foot injury+groin strain+mild bout of diarrhoea=a sleepy and draggy sunday that just punishes the life out of me.

Monday, January 21, 2008

night cycling is over

okay so the night cycling event is over! haha.

well as expected the event started late. i knew it would just start late haha. but at least it ended on time. well to tell you all the truth if you ask me to review the event, i'll tell you frankly i feel like that whole night was just a dream. i feel very numb about it. it's like the whole thing passed through, like it never happened. haha. on the whole i think the event was carried out decently.

i mean, alot of people were quite perturbed already about the not-so-safe nature of the route. well some made their feelings clear, but i felt at the end of the day things turned out okay. well of course, the power of hindsight tells me we could have done better. but i think considering what had happened, i think we did what we could. i felt i had the right people in my team in the right places, and we all kinda helped each other out.

but i hope everyone had a great time during the event. i had fun though organising the event. at least firstly, no thanks to me actually handpicking most of the members of my committee. haha. reeks of corruption, nepotism and cronyism doesn't it? haha but it's important! at least the meeting doesn't have to be mostly conducted in a highly tense level i think. although of course we have had our fair share of friction, but i think overall it was excellent working with them. i am only the first among equals, and not a cut above the rest. so thank you to my committee members! and very sorry if i did rub you all on the wrong side. figuratively, of course.

oh and thanks to everyone else who contributed to the event in any ways. i truly appreciate all the effort! whether as outriders, drivers, medics, facilitators, photographers, marshallers and even participants, many thanks to all of you. without all your help the event could not have been carried out. so yes, i appreciate all of your help and assistance.

so now, it's back to work! haha. tried reading my history book just now, but really, i have never been a fan of chinese history, with their 1001 dynasties and what not. but the government and politics of southeast asia module that i'm taking seems interesting. the readings seem interesting too! haha. that's a first. so now full focus on studies! that's it, no more being part of any organising committees for me i feel. firstly i think that's enough for me, secondly i don't think i can ever work in a specialised job like doing logistics or marketing. i'll die doing such specific work. at least as a project director, i can delegate stuffs and probably do what i think i can do within my means. and anyway i don't want to be a project director anymore in any case so yes, im swearing off all organising committees then! haha.

so now i somewhat regain back my normal life as an undergraduate. trying to balance studies and my cca, and making new friends too along the way. and dealing with stuffs that i chucked aside temporarily.

like feelings. i suppose i have to face them again. honestly, i've been feeling numb ever since my event ended. so i don't know how or what to feel about things. i have no idea why i'm in such a state. like everything is so draggy and i'm just slowly getting to grip things. i think i shall slow drag myself out of this slumber eventually. but it's painfully slow though.

dear you,
i just can't seem to let go. and i don't know if i want to either.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

will2wheel

okay the event is nearing, in fact only 2 days' away.

so there's even more little little things that we all have to concern ourselves with. and i've to either get people or go around singapore myself to collecrt everything that we need for the event. it is ultra-troublesome, but well, it's only for a few more days! haha.

well anyways thank you to those who actually tagged with regards to my previous post. oh well, it's not i have problems (i hope!) with my members, it's just that not everyone sees things in the same perspective of things. so there's bound to be misunderstanding or disagreement on matters etc, so if this is not managed then it would be hard. in any case, i've learnt that in any circmustances it is crucial to keep a cool head and still be able to think rationally and sensibly, if i can help it. no point in losing your anger unless that would really help solve any problems, that maybe i should consider that. haha. in any case i'm not stressed, not too worry, just that i do got weary and worrisome. but i hope it all goes well.

in any case my foot hasn't healed. i wonder how long it would take to self-heal. that's what the doctor said. no medication could hasten the healing process, and there was no need for any x-ray. but it's been more than 3 weeks and i still can't use it to kick or anything. but i guess i wont rush it, in case i injure it again.

and the other day i dropped by johor bahru for a while to shop. went there alone to shop, and for that i've been labelled crazy by some people. haha. why not? what's so crazy about shopping alone in jb? i mean it's not like i'm some foreigner who flashes his wads of cash around. in any case i blew away 126RM on 1 pair of shoes and 2 shirts. im happy, 'cause i really think my 2 shirts are very very nice. and so are my white sneakers. i had to getaway from singapore for a few hours to escape whatever workload i had back home, so yes, i admit abit of retail therapy does work for me sometimes. yes, i do exude a tinge of femininity sometimes. but no, it doesn't mean i'm turning gay or metrosexual or something like that. it's the same as telling me a frenchman would turn to an englishman just because he's learning how to speak english. that's a load of nonsense.

okay i should really go work on that powerpoint slides. can't believe the other day i froze for a while because i kinda forgot how to use powerpoint. it's been like freaking 3 years since i last used it. okay time to bury myself deep in my work now.

Friday, January 11, 2008

pd

i am starting to feel the heat.

it's not stress, it's just im getting more disturbed, more perturbed and more pressured than ever. i'm not boasting, but i hardly stres myself out to the point where i cannot take it anymore. even for studying, i think i study to actually forget anything else that is stressing me out. studying can be fun and healthy if one manages to find out how to appreciate it and manage the stress levels that supposedly accompany it. i get most stressed when i am planning my timetables for school actually. last semester i took freaking 4 hours just to come out with a proper timetable for myself.

it's with regards to my event. yes, initially there was alot of loose ends that we have not tied. but most of the issues have already been cleared, but new ones have surfaced. it's getting abit frustrating though when some issues just cannot be settled. that's one. and another thing is the event seems quite popular i think. it turns out even my secondary school friends might want to join. it probably gives me added incentive to do better, but it also exerts more healthy pressure on me too i guess.

in any case apparently i ruffled a few feathers with my no-nonsense last minute email to my committee members. well yes, i wasn't being professional by allowing my bad mood to interfere with work. but i felt i was going to push the members soon anyway, and i had to get things done too. yes it was last minute, and my email was abit curt. but it's not easy being in my shoes!

people sometimes think it is easy being the project director. just abuse the authority and just delegate stuffs. well some stuffs i really don't know who's supposed to do, so i do it myself. and i'm not boasting, but i've already done quite a bit of stuffs that i needn't have. and yes, i do forget things also, i admit.

but i'm not perfect. neither am i the best project director around. i took up this post voluntarily because i felt the event was interesting, and not because i was appointed to it and given blessings by the people upstairs. whatever i do, i do according to what i know and who i have. my instincts and gut feelings guide me, which obviously do not involve proper planning and delegation of stuffs. in that sense i'm quite horrible as a project director.

i suppose alot of people would not have belief in my way of doing things. well, all i can say is, i do things as according to what my gut feelings and instinct instruct me. of course i do try to think rationally, but yes, i 'm not the most professional to do so. in any case my methods have not gone down well with people, so i'm sorry okay people.

seriously, i have alot of things, the little things, that i have to settle. come and be in my shoes, than you will understand why it is best to have a project director that is level-headed and always calm under pressure. i don't mind taking up jobs that i can delegate to other people, if i see i can help out in it. it's not a race to win hearts or votes for that matter. in any case, i'm really sorry if my people management skills have been poor.

dear you,

i'm sorry if i was being unreasonable. it's just that i couldn't accept that you would get mad over a simple thing. but yes, i see things differently and maybe i was insensitive. can we start afresh? you know i'm always scared whenever you are around,. and it's not like i'm purposelly giving you the cold shoulder or anything. i'm just scared.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

chalet

my right foot still doesn't feel right (no pun intended).

it's been 8 days since i injured it but i can't even jog on the spot without feeling pain at the bone. the limp is gone but the pain persists. didn't help that i aggravated the injury at the chalet last thursday. i think i should drop by the polyclinic on tuesday then, since if this doesn't cure fast it would really hinder my training progress. hence i had to give training a miss yesterday.

in any case i just got back from my chalet 2 days ago with my silat mates. it was quite fun. it was also my 1st ever chalet with friends. yes, despite me being already 21 years old, that was my 1st ever chalet with friends. haha. it started on wednesday, and we left the place early on friday morning. went a full 24 hours without sleep for the 1st time ever i think, then managed to catch only an hour's nap and carried on with the day's activities on thursday. haha. it was crazy, just walking around with read eyes and lacking alot of sleep. but it was fun nevertheless.

it's real fun just to walk and hang around by the beach in the wee hours of the morning, talking away and playing games. we tried to catch the sun rise too, but the clouds were blocking our view. our barbeque was on thursday night and it was quite fun too, and i and hanan ended up by being hosts for charades for everyone else. haha. if was fun thinking of all the craziest and hardest words to describe in charades. me and hanan managed to come up with things like osteoporosis, equestrian, placido domingo, coroner, quebec and lots more hard and crazy words. haha. but most of the time i spent really talking alot to people, and re-strengthening bonds that i already had. all in all i think i had a great time at the chalet, even though we actually spent only around 36 hours there despite it being a 3D2N chalet.

but now back to business. it's already the last week of holidays. boo hoo. and everyday for the whole week i have stuffs going on! tomorrow i have some briefing thing going on somewhere in the east. tuesday is booked for a trip to queensway and east coast park. on wednesday i might have another class outing (having missed last week's one) and followed by training in the evening. thursday i have my night cycling meeting. friday there might be a POW outing, if not fab says he wants 2 go to sentosa, and that same evening i have another dinner in the east. saturday i have training, and then another overnight recce well into sunday morning.

my goodness, no space to breathe. what a hectic start to the new year. well i hope the next semester will be good for me. hopefully i can find time to study and revise properly, amidst all the activities and trainings that i will have. 2007, personally, wasn't such that great a year. but at least i made really alot of new friends, from work and from school. really alot. but i hope 2008 will be a blast for me. and 1st on the list - to get through this hectic week, and then next up -my night cycling event!

please visit http://will-2-wheel.blogspot.com/. for further details on my night cyclnig event. thank you for your support!