I haven't said anything online to y'all about something that happened last week. I've said it to a couple of friends in person and one in an email, but that's it. I wanted to blog about it, to explain how at peace the three of us are with it and how we are honoring it, but no matter how many times I sat down to blog to y'all, nothing came out. Then I got some good news this morning I really want to share. However, in order for you to understand just how good this news is, I need to share the bad news with you, too.
I told y'all that we went to the Boston area for Thanksgiving this year. My dad's mom (my Nana and B's GG - short for great gramma) is 96 yrs old and one of my aunts planned for us to get together and share Thanksgiving with Nana because who knows how much longer she'll be around. Because I'm currently dealing with a health issue, I went back and forth on whether to go or not. But I decided B and I should go and have a wonderful time with family. Due to the government shutdown in October, the hubs is negative in his PTO (paid time off) and he was unable to go with us.
It was so wonderful to see aunts, uncles and cousins that I hadn't seen in years, but seeing my Nana was the best! She' so small, yet full of energy. And although her face has been wrinkled and her hands spotted for as long as I can remember, she has always had the softest skin I've ever touched. Not even B's skin as a baby was as soft as Nana's. Her sight, hearing and short-term memory are going, so it was quite overwhelming for her to be in a room of 60+ people (just a fraction of her family. BTW) all talking and coming at her for hugs. We all wore name tags to help her out. :o) One of my uncles read a poem he'd written for Nana. A cousin read a short story she'd written about Nana and Papa years ago. A cousin's wife and daughter sang a song and that daughter also sang a solo while "dancing" a cup on a table (it was amazing). B and my dad performed a rap about Nana's life that my dad, my brother and B had written. It was a beautiful day!
I hugged her, told her I missed her and loved her very much. I didn't want to let her go because I loved the softness of her cheek against mine, the smell of her shampoo. She remembered who I was and who B was. I will always treasure the memory of that day, that gift we all gave and received.
Five days later, on what would have been my Papa's 103rd birthday, Nana had stomach pains and was taken to the hospital in the evening. At her age, if by some miracle she survived surgery, the doctors said recovery would kill her. So she was made comfortable with pain meds and she passed away early the next morning.
She went quickly, she was living independently in her own apartment at the time and she had just been honored and loved on by her family. I think it was a perfect time to go and I'm glad she did not slowly deteriorate over time. I wonder if Papa finally called her home as a birthday present to himself. :o)
Since returning from Thanksgiving, symptoms of other medical issues have arisen in me, possibly complicating the surgery I need. I need another specialist and further testing to get a diagnosis and make sure my surgeon has the whole state of me before he starts drilling into my head. And time is of the essence. Therefore, the three of us decided not to go back up to Boston for Nana's funeral. I have no regrets.
Tonight is the hubs' company Christmas party. We have not been to an office Christmas party since before I got pregnant with B and were looking forward to going. However, since my parents and my brother have gone up to the funeral, we no longer have a babysitter for tonight. And that's OK! The hubs is still going and he's driving a couple of his co-workers whose significant others cannot attend, as well. B and I were going to have a holiday movie/popcorn/snugglefest tonight.
So we're all done with the sad stuff and now we're moving onto the good news! Before going to bed last night, I entered a contest. I saw a Facebook post announcing only 2 hours left to enter and I took a chance. This morning, I received an email that I won the contest - 2 tickets to a family-friendly holiday event tonight. So, now B and I will be going out on a date tonight! We are both very excited! We are all very blessed.
Living on a prayer with love, laughter, faith and food.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
My Wonderful Brother
I have an awesome family. They are very supportive and only love unconditionally. I have one sibling, my older brother, and he is the best. He's the strong, silent type who likes to stay in the background but pays attention to everything. He's also a very faithful reader of my blog.
He read my post earlier this month about checking "I Don't Know How She Does It" by Allison Pearson out of the library. I got a box from Amazon in the mail today. Inside was my very own copy of the book with a message from my brother that now I could highlight whatever I want to. *sniff, sniff* I love that big lug!
PS - he's single, has a solid job, owns his own home and is great with kids!
He read my post earlier this month about checking "I Don't Know How She Does It" by Allison Pearson out of the library. I got a box from Amazon in the mail today. Inside was my very own copy of the book with a message from my brother that now I could highlight whatever I want to. *sniff, sniff* I love that big lug!
PS - he's single, has a solid job, owns his own home and is great with kids!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The Summons
The three of us were spending a long weekend at my sister-in-law's on the Eastern shore, 7/29 - 8/1, when I received an email from my dad. The hubs and I climbed into bed around 10pm on 7/29 and I decided to check my emails before turning out the light. I received this VERY formal email from my dad:
"(Your mother) and I tentatively are considering having a brunch for a dozen individuals next Saturday, August 6th. The purpose of this email is to inquire as to whether you would be available to attend such a brunch at our house around 11 a.m. on that date. I know this is very short notice but if it is feasible for you to reply this weekend as to your availability on August 6th (your mother) and I would appreciate you doing so.
Thanks.
Dad
P.S. I know that you are away at the beach this weekend, but I was hoping that you would be checking your emails and be able to reply."
OK, first of all, the editor wannabe in me CRINGED at the words, "...tentatively are considering..." Either you are tentatively having a brunch or considering having a brunch, but "tentatively are considering" is SO WRONG. I was disappointed that it was so late and I was unable to call my dad about this email; it worried me. I read it to the hubs and he had the same reaction as me: "What's with the formal wording?" We knew something out of the ordinary was up. My dad has been retired from the government for over 9 years, but this email sounded like it was written in "governmentese". The hubs and I started joking around about why my dad was having this brunch and who the other "...dozen individuals..." could be.
"Maybe your folks won the lottery. Maybe they FINALLY decided to where they are going to retire," said the hubs. Maybe someone is sick...., I thought. "Maybe someone has died!" I said. I know what you are thinking. Why would someone organize a BRUNCH over a WEEK in advance to announce a DEATH? Well, readers, let me explain my family to you! I am 39 years old, married and a mother with a brother who is a very responsible 42 year old. However, our parents still think we are incapable of handling "news". Let me give you a couple of examples.
My grandmother (my mom's mother) died while I was in college and I did not find out about it until after I graduated. And my parents did not VOLUNTEER it after I graduated; some time after graduation I brought up my grandmother and my mom said, WITHOUT looking me in the eye, that she had passed away. "WHAT?! WHEN?!" I exclaimed. My mother informed me that grandma's death, funeral and burial had occurred during my final year of college and my mother did not feel it was necessary to inform me since I did not have the "ideal" relationship with my grandma. OK, I'll give you that she was the "B" grandmother and not the "A" grandmother, but she WAS my grandmother, I was an adult when she died and I should have had the decision to go to her funeral or not taken away from me.
Flash forward 17 years and me, the hubs, my brother and my parents are having a lovely Christmas holiday dinner at my mom's sister's house. My aunt's two children are there with one spouse and one finacee. I don't recall the specifics to led to my conversation halter, but I brought up my mom's brother who lived in Branson, MO. The entire table went silent. Everyone stopped in mid-rise of a fork to their mouth or just stared at me, open-mouthed. Everyone, that is, except for my mom, who continued to eat while staring directly at her plate. I looked around the table at everyone, wondering what I had said that was so wrong. Finally, one of my cousins said to me, incredulously, "Uncle Gordon died two years ago." My jaw dropped and my eyes bugged. I turned to look at my mother, but she was still staring straight into her plate, and continued to move the fork from plate to mouth. "Why didn't you tell me?!" I whispered. She said nothing. I looked at my brother, "Did you know?!" "No," he said, quietly. I became furious. Furious at the belittling that I was still receiving from my parents as well as the embarrassment I had just suffered in front of family. So, you can understand why I would suspect that a family member might have died and my parents think it OK to invite us over to brunch more than a week later to inform us.
I told the hubs that I would call my mom (an early riser) as soon as we woke up the next day to find out WHAT this email from my dad meant. Then I rolled over, turned out the light and closed my eyes. I was about to nod off when the hubs exclaimed, "I bet your dad finally got his book published!" and scared the bejesus out of me. I thought for a moment and said, "Yes. That is quite possible," and finally fell asleep.
The hubs was right. At the brunch, my dad announced that the book he had written about his and my mom's first trip to Alaska had been published! And this isn't just a travel book about the sights and sounds they experienced in a beautiful state. My parents almost died on this trip, when the state road they were traveling on gave way and their van plummeted down an embankment, rolling over. Of course, they did not tell us what happened and the first time I found out about the details of this accident was when my dad asked me to edit an early version of his book. *rolling my eyes*
It's so interesting as a child to watch your parents get frustrated and angry at the stubbornness of THEIR parents and then watch your parents repeat this stubborn behavior to us, their own children. I am very proud of my dad for publishing a book. It is a dream of my own, actually, and one that the hubs has been encouraging me to do for quite some time. But my brother and I are in for the fight of our lives when the time comes for the parents to relinquish the reigns to their children...
"(Your mother) and I tentatively are considering having a brunch for a dozen individuals next Saturday, August 6th. The purpose of this email is to inquire as to whether you would be available to attend such a brunch at our house around 11 a.m. on that date. I know this is very short notice but if it is feasible for you to reply this weekend as to your availability on August 6th (your mother) and I would appreciate you doing so.
Thanks.
Dad
P.S. I know that you are away at the beach this weekend, but I was hoping that you would be checking your emails and be able to reply."
OK, first of all, the editor wannabe in me CRINGED at the words, "...tentatively are considering..." Either you are tentatively having a brunch or considering having a brunch, but "tentatively are considering" is SO WRONG. I was disappointed that it was so late and I was unable to call my dad about this email; it worried me. I read it to the hubs and he had the same reaction as me: "What's with the formal wording?" We knew something out of the ordinary was up. My dad has been retired from the government for over 9 years, but this email sounded like it was written in "governmentese". The hubs and I started joking around about why my dad was having this brunch and who the other "...dozen individuals..." could be.
"Maybe your folks won the lottery. Maybe they FINALLY decided to where they are going to retire," said the hubs. Maybe someone is sick...., I thought. "Maybe someone has died!" I said. I know what you are thinking. Why would someone organize a BRUNCH over a WEEK in advance to announce a DEATH? Well, readers, let me explain my family to you! I am 39 years old, married and a mother with a brother who is a very responsible 42 year old. However, our parents still think we are incapable of handling "news". Let me give you a couple of examples.
My grandmother (my mom's mother) died while I was in college and I did not find out about it until after I graduated. And my parents did not VOLUNTEER it after I graduated; some time after graduation I brought up my grandmother and my mom said, WITHOUT looking me in the eye, that she had passed away. "WHAT?! WHEN?!" I exclaimed. My mother informed me that grandma's death, funeral and burial had occurred during my final year of college and my mother did not feel it was necessary to inform me since I did not have the "ideal" relationship with my grandma. OK, I'll give you that she was the "B" grandmother and not the "A" grandmother, but she WAS my grandmother, I was an adult when she died and I should have had the decision to go to her funeral or not taken away from me.
Flash forward 17 years and me, the hubs, my brother and my parents are having a lovely Christmas holiday dinner at my mom's sister's house. My aunt's two children are there with one spouse and one finacee. I don't recall the specifics to led to my conversation halter, but I brought up my mom's brother who lived in Branson, MO. The entire table went silent. Everyone stopped in mid-rise of a fork to their mouth or just stared at me, open-mouthed. Everyone, that is, except for my mom, who continued to eat while staring directly at her plate. I looked around the table at everyone, wondering what I had said that was so wrong. Finally, one of my cousins said to me, incredulously, "Uncle Gordon died two years ago." My jaw dropped and my eyes bugged. I turned to look at my mother, but she was still staring straight into her plate, and continued to move the fork from plate to mouth. "Why didn't you tell me?!" I whispered. She said nothing. I looked at my brother, "Did you know?!" "No," he said, quietly. I became furious. Furious at the belittling that I was still receiving from my parents as well as the embarrassment I had just suffered in front of family. So, you can understand why I would suspect that a family member might have died and my parents think it OK to invite us over to brunch more than a week later to inform us.
I told the hubs that I would call my mom (an early riser) as soon as we woke up the next day to find out WHAT this email from my dad meant. Then I rolled over, turned out the light and closed my eyes. I was about to nod off when the hubs exclaimed, "I bet your dad finally got his book published!" and scared the bejesus out of me. I thought for a moment and said, "Yes. That is quite possible," and finally fell asleep.
The hubs was right. At the brunch, my dad announced that the book he had written about his and my mom's first trip to Alaska had been published! And this isn't just a travel book about the sights and sounds they experienced in a beautiful state. My parents almost died on this trip, when the state road they were traveling on gave way and their van plummeted down an embankment, rolling over. Of course, they did not tell us what happened and the first time I found out about the details of this accident was when my dad asked me to edit an early version of his book. *rolling my eyes*
It's so interesting as a child to watch your parents get frustrated and angry at the stubbornness of THEIR parents and then watch your parents repeat this stubborn behavior to us, their own children. I am very proud of my dad for publishing a book. It is a dream of my own, actually, and one that the hubs has been encouraging me to do for quite some time. But my brother and I are in for the fight of our lives when the time comes for the parents to relinquish the reigns to their children...
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