The Mysterious Package revealed at last

Click to enlarge and see its full splendor

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. What you are seeing is indeed a jigsaw puzzle of a Turkmenbashi propaganda poster. Now I'm sure you see why I took so much care in handling and assembling it. Next to a giant twirling statue of the Turkmenbashi, I doubt that there is anything more inspiring. 

My next step is getting it framed so's I can hang it on my office wall. I'll show you pictures of that when I've hung it.

I know you're probably jealous, but try to remember that envy is one of the 7 deadly sins. Besides, you too can buy your very own Turkmenbashi propaganda poster jigsaw puzzle if you want one to admire and impress visitors.

Below are a couple of details from the puzzle. You can click on them to get an enlarged view.

The Turkmenbashi admires his hands

Detail of buildings in the background 

Free Ma-Ro

Above is a video clip of Ma-Ro, a Turkmenistani pop star. The song is standard, albeit slightly goofy, generic pop music. It is accompanied by pictures of Ma-Ro (Maksat "Maro" Karakbayev, the singer) and his friends. They appear to be having a good time, and they certainly are stylish in a Turmenistani pop star sort of way. I particularly liked the giant star belt buckle Ma-Ro sports. 

Entertainingly, a giant poster of the Turkmenbashi appears in the background of one of the pictures. Also, another shows what appears to be the base of the Twirling Statue of the Turkmenbashi I so admire.

Recently Ma-Ro appeared on a Tukish television show. Unfortunately for him he said something, nobody knows quite what it was, that infuriated Deputy Prime Minister Maysa Yazmukhamedova, the Minister of Culture or some such thing. He hauled Ma-Ro, his friend the fellow pop star Murad Ovezov and anybody else who appeared in the video (nooo... not Leyli and Angel) in for questioning.

The two pop stars were sentenced to 15 days in jail, but things got worse for Ma-Ro after his release. He, his father, brother and brother-in-law were arrested on trumped up charges over a TV antenna, and the lot of them were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

You can read the whole sordid story in the article: Popular Singers Arrested in Turkmenistan.

The family's best hope now for them now is to be granted amnesty. Unfortunately President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the Turkmenbashi's beloved successor, prefers patriotic music and songs singing his praises over pop music. Oh-oh. I wonder what the floor shows in Avaza are like if Ma-Ro is too risque for Turkmenistan?

At any rate, I say... enough is enough. Oh great and noble leaders of Turkmenistan, as somebody who uses the visage of the great Turkmenbashi as my aviator  I appeal to your sense of justice of free Ma-Ro and allow him to return to his music.

Then again, considering my numerous posts mocking the leaders of Turkmenistan, maybe things would go easier on Ma-Ro if the glorious leaders of Turkmenistan were unaware of my support.

Return of the Turkmenbashi

Regular readers will know that I have long admired the ridiculous inspirational twirling statue of the Turkmenbashi, the late and not exactly beloved ruler of Turkmenistan. As you may recall, shortly after his death in 2006 the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, removed the Arch of Neutrality upon which the statue rotated and shipped the monstrosity to the suburbs. Eventually he removed the statue altogether.

This month, and much to the disgust of a good portion of the citizenry of Turkmenistan, Berdymukhammedov unveiled the statue in its new resting place, the Monument of Neutrality. Although tragically it no longer rotates so the Turkmenbashi always faces the sun, at 312 ft tall the new Monument of Neutrality is nearly 100 ft taller than the old Arch of Neutrality.

While most citizens are not thrilled to see a return of the ludicrous golden statue of the Turkmenbashi, the website Transmission, in their article Golden Turkmenbashi Finds New Home, reports on one Turkmen who sees a benefit to it:

At least one Turkmen observer, however, sees a silver lining around this gilded eyesore. "This monument provokes great interest among tourists who come to Turkmenistan," notes a travel agent based in Asghabat. "For foreign tourists, this is a monument of dictatorship and despotic willfulness. But for us, this is an embarrassment and unfortunately we get popularity with our absurd architectural excesses."

Pomegranates and the Turkmenbashi

This month's Orion has an article, No Two Alike, about an an agricultural research station in Turkmenistan called Garrygala. The forests and orchards of Garrygala once contained some 1,100 varieties of pomegranates and were tended by a Soviet researcher named Dr. Levin. The collapse of the Soviet Union meant an end to funding for Dr. Levin and Garrygala. Of course the Turkmenbashi had better things to do with his natural gas wealth, like erecting statues of himself, than to support the research station. As a result the facility has fallen into disrepair.

The article starts with the author, Barbara L, Baer, first hearing about Garrygala on a public-radio program. Interested in the plight of the facility, she progressed from fund raising efforts to an eventual depressing trip to Ashgabat. Ultimately, the bizarre politics of Turkmenistan prevented her from ever reaching Garrygala.

As I've said before, my interest in this obscure Central Asian Rebublic is partly the strange personality of its leader, the Turkemnbashi, and partly because it is precisely the sort of place that deeply challenges the Bush Doctrine. In the lead up to the war to oust the Taliban, Turkmenistan provided a needed entry point into northern Afghanistan. As a result, the US entered into an alliance of sorts with Turkmenistan.

I mention all of this because of one line in the linked article, "Despite massive infusions of dollars for rights to natural gas and oil paid by U.S. and international corporations, the national bank is insolvent, university degrees are no longer accredited abroad, official unemployment is listed at 25 percent but is more likely 50, and most recently, the school year has been shortened to stem budget deficits." The emphasis added is mine.

First, the claim so casually made that implies the US is a major investor in Turkmenistan is patently false. Russia, the Ukraine and Germany are the primary investers in Turkmenistan. In fact, Russia is the principal buyer of Turkmenistan's plentiful natural gas, with a pipeline being built to connect the two countires. Secondly, in spite of its needs to access Afghanistan, the US has led pressure against the Human Rights abuses, particularily concerning freedom of the press and religion, of the Turkmenistan government.

The Turkmenbashi leads a brutally repressive regime. It is difficult to believe that the winds of democracy blowing in the region won't eventually lead to eruption in Turkmenistan. When that happens, as the line quoted above hints, the realpolitiks of the needs of access to Afghanistan will blow back on the US. The US needs to be firm, and public, as they hold other country's feet to the fire in their dealings with Turkmenistan. At the same time the regime of the Turkmenbashi is an issue that needs to be addressed, and again in a public manner, before the eventual street demonstrations.

I fear the State Department is juggling the balls in this arena, and the black eye of hypocrisy is not what the US needs as it promotes the Bush Doctrine in the region.

His Excellency Saparmurat Niyazov

Saparmurat Niyazov, who prefers to be called the Turkmenbashi (Father of the Turkmen), is the President for Life of Turkmanistan. While he lacks the nuclear abitions that propel Kim Jong Il to the front pages, Niyazov is arguably the most insane dictator currently in power.

He was a Soviet functionary who siezed power in Turkmanistan during the collapse of the Soviet Union, and has since solidified his control by building a considerable cult of personality. As is usual, posters and statues of himself are every where in Turkmanistan. However, his meglomania runs much deeper. He has renamed the months of the year, and days of the week, after himself, his dead mother, and other Turkman figures. He has replaced the nation's text books with the Ruhnama, or Book of the Soul, which he wrote and is a collection of his wisdom. Most nights he dominates the television broadcasts with long rambling monologues. He's banned music, lip-syncing, smoking, beards and long hair for men, makeup for women newscasters, and gold crowns for teeth.

Some of his attempted public works (very few which get far beyond the wasting of money stage) have been irrigating the desert to grow rice, building a gigantic Ice Palace in the same desert, creating an artificial river for his capital city (since all great cities have rivers), firing his country's medical staff and replacing them with conscript soldiers, and closing all rural libraries and hospitals.

Rich in natural gas, he funds his regime via a pipeline whuich runs to Russia. He also has significant commercial ties with Germany. Because of Turkmanistan's access to Afghanistan, the Turkmenbashi is also a nominal ally of the US.

In spite of repressive measures, opposition to the Turkmenbashi is growing. Should it come to a head it is going to present a significant challenge to the Bush Doctrine. Rice bypassed Turkmanistan when she visited the earthquake damaged region last week, but the US's apparent support of the Turkmenbashi in exchange for access to Afghanistan will appear hypocritical. This is a growing problem that needs to be addressed now, not when the regime's problems come to a head and the mobs are in the street.

Turkmenbashi Heaven

I recently discovered an excellent blog, the Blogmenbashi, which is dedicated to my favorite lunatic dictator, the Turkmenbashi of Turkmanistan. The Blogmenbashi's latest post, which is from the year 2004 (hmmm... either the Turkmanistan secret police got him, or he is falling down on his blogging a wee bit), includes a link to a site that covers the most holy Ruhnama, a book written by the ever humble Turkmenbashi to replace the Bible, Koran, and all other holy works. Sadly for me, I doubt I'll be able to resist the urge to order the English translation of it. Plus there is a fine line of Rhunama merchandise to offer even more temptation.

Anyhoo... here is a quiz you can take to see how up to date on the wisdom pouring out of the most holy Ruhnama you are. Taking more or less wild guesses, I scored a mere 55% -- I am so ashamed of myself.

By the way, in honor of the Turkembashi's 66th birthday he released a set of gold and silver coins commemorating his poetry and the most holy Ruhnama. Be sure to get yours while they last.

Noooooooo...

Long time readers of Flares will know that I've long had a fascination with the Turkmenbashi, the previous ruler of Turkmanistan who is currently pushing up daisies. Among his many eccentricities, he busily worked at creating a Cult of Personality surrounding himself. Naturally, this included giant statues of himself -- the most famous being the Neutrality Arch, which featured a gold played statue of the Turkmenbashi which rotated to always face the sun.

Recently, Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the new President of of Turkmanistan, has decide to move the Neutrality Arch from downtown Ashgabat to the suburbs. Man, will the indignities never end? Next they be changing the names of the week back to what they were before.

Hmmm... if they're getting rid of those statues, I wonder if my neighbors would mind if I bought one an erected it in my front yard?

Important successes will be accomplished

For those that don't know, Turkmenistan is a county rich in natural gas and lunatic leaders. The combination has led to some strange and expensive construction ventures, such as gargantuan spinning statues and the Las Vegas of Central Asia among others.

I confess to having been been remiss in keeping folks abreast of the latest news of grandiose and completely crazy engineering projects moving forward in Turkmenistan. 

For example, I never posted about the opening ceremony for the Golden Age Lake that happened last year. This is a scheme left over from the Turkmenbashi (may he rest in peace). This project involves digging hundreds of miles of canals to channel water to the Karashor Depression. 

The purpose of all this is to create a 750 square mile lake in the middle of the desert. I'm not sure, but it may have something to do with the late Turkmenbashia's rather odd notion to start cultivating rice in the deserts of Turkmenistan.

Meanwhile his successor, Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov, is apparently quite the sports enthusiast. That's him on the horse. He's come up with the idea to blow gobs of money building a gigantic sports complex in Turkmanistan.

The suspicion is that he is building it so he can bid on hosting the Olympics. This in spite of the fact that Turkmenistan has never won an Olympic medal. My favorite bit from the article:

Since coming to power, Berdymukhamedov has earnestly cast himself as a man of action, striking a stark contrast with his epicurean predecessor, President Saparmurat Niyazov (ed - a.k.a. the Turkmenbashi), who died of heart failure in late 2006 at the age of 66. 

Niyazov did sporadically attempt to instill his subjects with an understanding of the benefits of exercise. His most eye-catching practice was to lead his ministers and government workers on an annual 8-kilometer trek up the Walk of Health, a concrete staircase built into the hills overlooking the capital, Ashgabat.

But while officials trudged up the hill, rotund Niyazov reputedly took a helicopter ride to the summit, thereby undermining the entire purpose of the exercise.

Good news & bad news

Arkadag gets his hand smooched

First the good news. I've complained a few times that the former dentist, and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov has too long of a name. For some time I've wished he had a shorter and snappier nickname like his predecessor the Turkmanbashi. 

Much to my embarrassment I discovered that he had been awarded a nickname during a military parade in October of last year. His new nickname is Arkadag, which means the Protector. 

Now the bad news. In doing research for my moribund Free Ma-Ro blog campaign, I've discovered that The Askabag has declared a New Renaissance in the art, literature and music of  Turkmenistan. As an example, this decree probably explains why, if you're a painter, you really, really want to paint horses.

Having apparently demolished the visual arts, Turkmenistan’s Ministry of Culture, Television and Radio Broadcasting has stated that all songs should now be orientated towards promoting the New Renaissance epoch. Of course, it goes without saying, the best way to do that is to sing the praises of the Arkadag.

The Askadag and the Turkmenbashi

As the Chronicals of Turkmenistan report in their article Patriotic repertoire for restaurants and cafes, this even goes so far as dictating to dining extablishments that that are "responsible for the content of the songs, performed during staff parties, weddings and other festivities which are held at their venues." In other words, it's now all Askadag praise, all the time. 

As one of the case owners sarcastically said, “I am afraid that according to the next instruction we will be forced to have two menus. One would have names of dishes whereas the other - the names of the songs devoted to the President!"

The Turkmenbashi was certainly an enormous lunatic and he'll be hard to top, but, sadly for the citizens of Turkmenistan, it looks like the Askadag is willing to give it the old college try.

While we were sleeping

Turkmen explore the Moon

The Digital Journal is reporting in the article Former Soviet state of Turkmenistan to form own space agency that Turkmenistan is entering the space race.

Well, actually, they are already in the spce race, but news of that slipped by me. In 2004 Turmkenistan, then under the leadership of the late and lamented Turkmenbashi, launched a small "container" into space from Russia's Baikonur cosmodrome. Inside the "container", which may or may not have been a shoe box,  was a national flag and the Ruhnama, a book containing all the wisdom you ever need to know, which written by the Turkmenbashi.

Recently they've also signed an agreement with SpaceX, the US based commercial space service, to launch a satellite for Turkmenistan in the year 2014.

Turkmenistan is taking their space faring activities even further. At the end of May, President for Life Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, also known as the Arkadag (the Protector), has announced the formation of Turkmenistan's own space agency, although the details of it remain sketchy.

From the official press release:

According to international specialists, Turkmenistan has the most favourable astronomical and climatic conditions for carrying out astronomical observations. In particular, atmosphere transparency, favourable wind regime and illuminance allow conducting the space tracking activities for more than 2,000 hours a year.

The centuries-old history of our country knows many world-known Turkmen scientists, who have contributed significantly to development of astronomical science. They are Shemset Din Maryly (Shamset Din Mervezi), Al Khorezmi, Biruni, Omar Khayyam and other medieval scholars, who devoted many years of their life to astronomic observations.

It should be noted that before the first space satellite in the world was launched into earth orbit in the midst of XX century, scientists and specialists held the meetings on the issues related to the use of artificial space satellites in Turkmenistan.

Yup, nothing boosts confidence in a County's foray into space more than a solid foundation of medieval science. 

President for Life Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, a.k.a. the Arkadag, claims he wants to develop Turkmenistan's first telecommunications satellite to further its Internet and television network. Considering the existing tight controls on the internet and the media, this is a strange claim to say the least. 

At any rate, like any story out of Turkmenistan, it should be an interesting boondoggle to follow.

Turkmenbashi Died

Yea, I'm still alive. Thankfully, Saparmurat Niyazov (aka the Turkmenbashi) isn't. Good riddance to him.

"It's the most repressive country I've ever been to," British conservative European parliamentarian Martin Callanan told European Union observers earlier this year after a trip to Turkmenistan. "Human rights standards don't exist."

Niyazov was recently ranked No 3 on a list of the world's top five dictators by Britain's New Statesman magazine, just two steps down from North Korea's Kim Jong-il.

Source

Turkmenistan's answer to Monaco is kaput

The Arkadag at the helm

A couple of years ago the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, a.k.a. The Arkadag, became enamored with yachting. The Russian gas and resources company Itera gave him a gift of the €60m luxury yacht Galkynysh (Revival). It was the largest sized yacht that could fit in the canals leading to the Caspian Sea. As EurAsiaNet reports, it had "a helipad, an elevator, a sauna, an on-deck gym, and its own library."

When he first got it he and various dignitaries, presumably all dressed like Thurston Howell III, spent a lot of time aboard it. He even held cabinet meetings on the yacht.

Because of his enthusiasm for it, and because Turkmenistani leaders are prone to grandiose building schemes, it was decided to add marinas to the Turkmenistan resort of Avaza so that not only would it rival Las Vegas, but it would also be the Monaco of the Caspian Sea. Regular regattas, and even a race for the Avaza Cup were envisioned. 

Then the Arkadag lost interest in the yacht and the Caspian Monaco scheme fell out of favor. That is probably a good thing, because the only other place to sail in the Caspian is to Baku and its perpetual oil slick.  Still, the marina plans are still sort of plodding along. After all, if there is money to be wasted on crazy building plans, Turkmenistan is the place to waste it.

The bright spot in The Arkadag losing interest in yachting is the relief of the residents of the Port of Turkmenbashi where it is moored. When he used to visit the yacht the police made them stay inside and out of sight. Presumably The Arkadag didn't want the scenery spoiled by impoverished Turkmenistani bumpkins loitering about. 

New wedding traditions in Tukmenistan

Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the former dentist and current President of Turkmenistan, is opening a new Palace of Happiness for newlyweds in his country. 

In fact, he is plunging headfirst into the wedding business. At a recent ceremony where he awarded himself the title Hero of Turkmenistan he also issued degrees regarding proper wedding day festivities. 

As the Guardian reports in the article Turkmen couples ordered to plant trees and visit monuments on wedding day: 

In the latest example of what might generously be called his eccentric approach to power, President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov has ordered couples to plant trees and visit the city's main monuments on their big day. While most couples might hope to be raising a glass or two of champagne, Turkmen couples will now spend their wedding day visiting such romantic sites as the Earthquake Memorial, the Monument to the Constitution, the Monument to Independence and, finally, a second world war memorial.

The new requirements highlight "the exceptional importance of preserving family values in modern society and raising the younger generation to respect the traditions and customs of the people", Berdymukhamedov said at a government meeting devoted to weddings last week.

I did notice that missing from the list of monuments was the Neutrality Monument, which is of course the giant twirling statue of the Turkmenbashi that I so admire. As the Occupy Wall Street protestors might say, "shame on you Berdymukhamedov, shame, shame, shame!"

At any rate, once the romantic nuptial tour of monuments is completed and they make it to their wedding reception they still haven't freed themselves from Berdymukhamedov's lunacy. As I reported earlier in Good news & bad news: 

Having apparently demolished the visual arts, Turkmenistan’s Ministry of Culture, Television and Radio Broadcasting has stated that all songs should now be orientated towards promoting the New Renaissance epoch. Of course, it goes without saying, the best way to do that is to sing the praises of the Arkadag [ED: another name for President Berdymukhamedov].

As the Chronicles of Turkmenistan report in their article Patriotic repertoire for restaurants and cafes, this even goes so far as dictating to dining establishments that that are "responsible for the content of the songs, performed during staff parties, weddings and other festivities which are held at their venues." In other words, it's now all Askadag praise, all the time. (emphasis added)

Gah, poor Turkmenistanis, there is no escaping the lunatic. Soon he'll be issuing decrees that they need to Honeymoon in Avaza.
 

The dictator's dog

Behold the Mighty Leader's pet dog 

Long time Flares readers will know that, from time to time, I rant and rave about the insane dictators of Turkmenistan. Most dictators are fond of putting up statues to their own glory. The leaders of Turkmenistan are no exception, and they take that urge to lunatic heights. 

I've often made fun of the previous Turkmen ruler, the late and not lamented Turkmenbashi, and the ridiculous golden statue of himself that twirled around and around so he always faced the sun. That masterpiece of dictator kitsch has since been slightly desecrated by moving it to the suburbs of Ashgabat and unplugging its electric motor. 

However, never fear, the former dentist and current President for Life of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov has not deserted the tradition of erecting preposterous monuments. One of his latest, unveiled in November of 2020, is a giant golden statue of a dog of the Alaby breed, a Central Asian sheep herding dog. 

He owns a dog of the same breed -- I don't know its name so I'll call it Fluffy so's we know who I'm talking about. Anyway, although I'm not sure (and when did that ever stop me?), I like to think that the statue's model was Fluffy, so I imagine it is a statue of the dictator's dog. Yea, that's some sketchy reasoning, but it's good enough for me. All hail Fluffy!                            

Wider view of Fluffy's statue

Berdymukhammedov and his beloved pet Fluffy

Fluffy gets introduced to Vladimir Putin

Will the insults ever cease?

As soon as I read the title of the article, The World's Ugliest Statues, I knew it was coming. Sure enough, weighing in at Number III was Saparmurat Niyazov, a.k.a. The Turkmenbashi (apparently now also known as Turkmenbashy the Great), who's golden visage is forever twirling about in search of the sun.

To add insult to injury, his beloved vassals seem to have moved the monstrosity to the suburbs as soon as he was six feet under.  Geez, next thing you know they'll unplug the electric motor that spins him around.
 

And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

A star is born

Berdymukhammedov yuks it up with his new hip-hop buddies

As recounted in the article The Talented Mr. Berdymukhammedov Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, the former dentist and current President of Turkmenistan, has recently burst upon the musical scene. In a performance before a packed house a video of him projected above the stage showed him singing as well as playing the guitar and accordion as he unveiled a song, My White Rose For You, which was written by him.

If you dare, you can watch the video of his performance below.

As remarkable as his performance was, even more remarkable was that fact that Berdymukhammedov's song sounded uncannily similar to the 2009 song On My Wedding Day by Dowlet Amanlykow. I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation as to why the songs are virtually identical. Surely the President of Turkmenistan wouldn't stoop so low as to plagiarize another singer's song?

Then again, there is the odd fact that some 70 pages of the Turkmenbashi's (the previous President of Turkmenistan) literary masterpiece the Rukhnama are word-for-word identical to Clifford Boswoth's The New Islamic Dynasties. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for that too. Perhaps it involves a room full of monkeys at typewriters?

The voice of an angel

French perfidity and the Turkmenbashi, a.k.a. everybody's favorite maniac dictator. What could be finer? Too bad I don't speak French.

From No Pasaran: Giving in to their Homoerotic Love of Dictators.

And the winner is...

President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov hogs the spotlight

As we all know, last Sunday was National Horse Day in Turkmenistan. An important part of the festivities was the Horse Beauty Contest. I have no doubt that you've all been waiting with bated breath to learn which horse won.

The Herald Sun reports that the lucky winner is a stallion named Khanbegler entered by  Ovlyaguli Sheripov, who won a new Toyota Land Cruiser with the inscription "a present from the respected president of Turkmenistan" for his efforts.

I would like to show you the lovely horse, but all of the articles about the competition I could find were instead illustrated with pictures of President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov riding his horse while dressed in a fancy horse riding costume. That's him on his horse above. 

I wish I could tell you more, but as you'll discover if you read the Herald Sun article, aside from a brief mention of Sheripov and his mighty steed, the article primarily focuses on President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov's activities during the contest; which included him galloping around, a dove landing on his outstretched hand, and the 19 year old student Maral gushing, "It's like a fairy tale. It's so touching. I've only ever seen this in a circus."

Well, the circus part sounds about right.

Considering the focus on Berdymukhamedov instead of the winner throughout the article, and the fact this is Turkmenistan after all, the last two paragraphs of the article weren't at all surprising:

Berdymukhamedov began cutting back on some of the excesses of Niyazov, known as the Turkmenbashi, and last year removed a golden statue of his predecessor that rotated to face the sun.

But observers have noted a budding personality cult, with giant banners of his face hanging on government buildings, and critics complaining that his attempts at reform so far amounted to little more than window dressing.

What happens in Avaza stays in Avaza

The fireworks, in the picture to the left, are in celebration of the opening of the newest tourist destination on the planet -- Avaza. The 5 billion dollar project bills itself as the next Las Vegas, a must visit destination for the discerning, upscale tourist.

As you plan your next vacation you no doubt wonder, could this be true or is it all hype? Well, the fellow in the picture is President Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov, successor to the dearly departed Turkmenbashi as the ruler of Turkmenistan.

That fact alone should probably be enough to tip the scales solidly into the hype over truth department.

Yes, this is but the latest monstrous building scheme to be cooked up by the leadership of Turkmenistan. It boast of having luxurious hotels, seaside villas, casinos, an artificial island, a ski center and a children's area. However, during its opening ceremonies the hotels were decorated with huge portraits of President Berdymukhamedov, and there was a giant TV displaying his mug, so I wonder about the ambiance of the place. I know nothing speaks luxury to me quite as much as gigantic propaganda posters. I wonder if it has a copy of the Ruhnama in every night stand?

You can read about it here.

Leaders on toilet paper

Click any image to enlarge

I've been remiss in my coverage of the latest affairs of Turkmenistan. For example, I completely skipped over Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow's (the former dentist and current president for life of Turkmenistan)  decree banning black cars and instructing his citizens to repaint their cars white or silver. Oh, and then there's the giant statue of him riding a horse which replaced the twirling statue of the previous leader, the beloved Turkmenbashi. You can see the giant horse monument below.

With that introduction to the post, you may wonder why I started it with a picture of Presidents Trump and Obama on toilet paper.

Well, it all started in the city of Dashoguz when several children were detained and tried for the crime of defacing pictures of Berdimuhamedow. Their hooliganistic acts included drawing goatees and mustaches on his pictures, as well as trampling them underfoot. Matters got even worse when it was discovered that local residents had taken to using newspaper with his picture on it as toilet paper. Oh, the horror!

From the article Turkmenistan Police Inspect Toilets for Use of President’s Newspaper Photos as Toilet Paper:

While inspecting another Dashoguz school for similar defiling of the president’s photos, police found bits of newspaper – some of which had Berdymukhammedov’s face on them – used as toilet paper in the school toilet. The director was fired, and an ample investigation into this practice began. It has reportedly led to the dismissal of several civil servants.

Apart from police officers inspecting both public and household toilets for incriminating evidence of defiling president Berdymukhammedov’s portrait, staff at landfills all over western Turkmenistan were instructed to be on the lookout for soiled pictures of the country’s supreme leader.

“There is a special janitor at each landfill site whose job is to inspect garbage, to look for soiled newspaper photos, to establish the house or flat of the newspaper subscriber and to report it to the police,” Fergana.ru reports.

Sooo... we may not have giant golden statues and streets full of white cars, but at least we can wipe our butts with novelty toilet paper without fear of getting arrested. That is, so far we can, but these days ya' never know (OK -- link to an old story, but whatever).

 Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow