I am myself.
ahlay@hotmail.com.
17.
student.
i love to slp.
The way I want to be.
I'm just waiting to fly away.
Wrapped up in my cocoon.
Silently, patiently waiting.
One day I will be free.
And I will be beautiful.
And I will not be afraid to be me.
But till then, I'll wait.
星期四, 三月 27, 2008
hao jiu bu jian le.... haiz.. today is not a gd day for me...
i failed my general paper. every1 is improving.. n i seem to be de-proving instead. i tried to tell myself that sometimes setbacks are good, to motivate myself. but.. i only hav abt 7mnths to go. haiz.
now i m praying hard for my econs n history. hope that at least i dun hav to suffer too many setbacks at a goal.
i hav been thinking.. for e whole day. i dunno what i m thinking. i stoned during lectures, on e bus, at home. i m juz upset.
i think. i needa talk to my civics tutor. and mayb some adults who can realli understand e situation i am facing right nw.
perhaps.. i shld withdraw from e talent management programme (TMP). i dunno what e hell i m doing thr and why i m thr. TMP supposed to be for the top students, n i got selected based on my promo results. well.. my result is one of the lousiest in e TMP. n i realize.. i went for all e stupid compulsory talks regarding scholarship n stuff, which i cant even get in with my current result.. so.whats e point of wasting my time thr?
i need time to focus on my general paper. i need help.
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
6:36 上午
星期日, 三月 09, 2008
well.it has been a long time since i last blogged... hmmmmmm... life is as usual --'stress'.. haha. but i still can take it. 8MNTHS TO GO. yea
yea. sa had service learning last wk. hmm.kind of labour work. but its okay, at least got a day off from sch.. hahaz.
went out with may n dia also. took lots of pics.. coz we realized tat we seldom take pics.. hahaz.. feel so good gg out with time. back to the usual 'waste-time' day. walk ard n hav nth to do at all. hahaz
den mahz. now holidays le. but still very stress.argh. 1wk of holiday to study for block test. siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnz.
oh yea. got an A for my chinese. yea =) no need to retake => hope i can see e same result for every subj bahz.
[jiayou!!!]
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
8:52 上午
星期五, 二月 01, 2008
haiz. i need someone to talk to.. i looked thru my msn contact list...more than 80 ppl online.. but there is none whom i can talk to.haiz.
problems problems problems...
i m waiting for may n dia online. we havent been meeting each other for a long tym. dia said she will b online today n she will ask may to online.. but.. haiz.its almost 12 am now. n they are still not online. dey muz b asleep bahz, i guess. i really miss them .
den mahz. i feel kind of stressed recently. many different things. i dunno why. haiz.. haven been having nightmares again. cant really slp well.. i wish to have a carefree life. i m missing my grandma.i m unable to control my dreams. haiz. i think. perhaps i need some1 by my side, giving me encouragement n support. n mayb a warm hug.
i feel lyk crying, forgetting everything.
- can you feel my world..? 真实的我没办法伪造..
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
7:38 上午
星期日, 一月 06, 2008
havent been blogging for about a mnth wor. life was as usual. hahaz. well, was busy preparing for fitness retreat. hmm. enjoyed myself except the bbq night. the seniors kind of disappointed us. haiz.
oh ya, i also went to assis home for children for cip. it was so fun. the kids there were so cute. haiz. what a pity, i cant believe that they all suffer frm cancer. haiz.
den mahz. had a lonely christmas. may ps us again. this tym not really her fault , cuz she alrdy said she may not b able to make it. :/ ... den mahz. i spent my new year drinking with my bro. arh, the stupid drink made me angry instead of drunk. hahaz. it turned my lips n teeth red. quite a special new year i guess. hahaz.
den 1st day of year 2008 i mugged lyk hell, studied for history as dorothy reminded me thr will b a test when sch reopens. (well, in the end e test was changed to e 3rd wk)
2nd day of 2008 i went to sch. we changed a new principal. she was e prinicpal of cresent gals. well, she is kind of academic-driven, unlike the previous principal which made sajc well-known for its sports n ccas. hahaz. e new principal gg to change 2 cca days to 1 cca day. kind of sad tat we have to study more n play less. hahaz. we will be also having exam in e 4th wk. arh. crazy.
hmm, i also changed a new civics tutor and GP tutor. then more lessons in my timetable :(. hahaz. oh ya. 1 big news of the year. fitness club gonna combine with sports club. kind of sad initially when i heard of the news in ard early november. den now still okay lar, since my good friend is thr, den i also know quite a few of them in sports club. hahaz.
OKAY, I GONNA WORK HARD FOR THE NEXT 10-11MTNHS! JIAYOU.! NTU/NUS ! I WILL BE THR! :>
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
5:53 上午
星期五, 十一月 30, 2007
haiz.. kind of emoemo now.. suddenly miss my grandma alot. haiz
i hate tis feeling.
haiz. i m really lost, i need a goal in my life.
or rather, i need some1 else in my life.
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
8:26 上午
星期日, 十一月 18, 2007
finally back to blog eh.so many happens for the past few wks.. hmm.. let me start wif some happy stuff first..
kekekke. finally got to meet dia n may le wor.. was so happy. hahaz. went to nyp n makan thr. saw jiawei. he looked lyk lion. hahahaha. by e way, i played monopoly with dia n may.. n owned them. wahaha. (OH YA! HAPPY BD TO LIM AH MAY)
recently i very addicted to monopoly. bought the mini-set, n brought it to almost everywhr. hahahaz. den i also dl the online version , to play by myself vs the comp. hahahahaz. i think i m crazy. haha.
den mahz.. i recently also hav e urge to play audition. bt due to some problem, i couldnt get my own acc.. n ling lend me her noob acc to play.. wahahahaha. fun sia. bt i dun think i will continue the game for more than 2 mnths.hahaz
okay.. think tats all abt my happy stuff.. nth much actually. wat a sad life. hahaz.
hmm..now the sad sad stuff.. =( ... my life is soo busy.. hav to plan e camp, go for cca meetings etc. argh! den couldnt turn up for 3gatherings bcoz of fitness. eek. nvm, its okay its okay... haiz.. den now e members r sooooo bad. the exco planned so much den dey r nt very keen to go for e camp.. eekk.. nvm nvm, its okay its okay. hahahaz. i keep saying the same thing ..hahaha..
den mahz.. e worst thing tat happened to me this yr.. haiz.. my ahmah passed away. haiz..i feel so bad. haiz. tat day she fell down in e room. by e tym i rushed in, she was alrdy on e floor,couldnt get up. i tried to get her up, bt in e end i couldnt do anything (she was too heavy for me).. i could only wait for my mum to cum.. haiz. at first we tot it was only a minor fall... in e end, she was in so much pain tat we had to send her to hospital.. haiz.. n after a few days.. she passed away.. n tat was e day i wanted to pay her a visit. haiz.. i feel so hopeless.. i couldnt do anything..haiz.. den during e funeral.. everything was alright until e day she gonna b sent to cremate.. haiz.. i always tot tat i wouldnt cry for her.. since death is an inevitable part of our life. haiz. bt only during e last ritual, i realized tat i can never see her again, she will b gone, n b burned.. haiz.
nw i miss her so much. mis e sound she made when she walked in her slippers.. n .. her fried rice, her stew meat.. n everything. haiz. i really feel so sad. bt i dunno wat is happening to me.. e sadder i m, e happier i tend to show others. haiz.
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
12:41 上午
星期二, 十月 23, 2007
smth is missing.
One day I'll fly away, leave all this to yesterday.
7:22 上午
