In Search of Lost Innocence

Today is New Year's Eve. And tomorrow will be the start of a new year and hopefully a blissful year ahead for all of us. I have become rather anti-social lately. I don't know what's the reason behind it, but I just feel like avoiding people and stay cooped up at home. Apologies to everyone for missing out on recent activities. Nonetheless, I still went for night-cycling with my brothers on Monday night. Considering that I haven't cycled for nearly a year, and my current fitness level, I am glad that I went through it without much difficulty. Actually, the speed wasn't very fast to begin with. Haha. Oh, on a side note, don't ask me why I never invite you to this event, when we aren't really that close in the first place. I will write down my 2009 resolutions tomorrow. And my Carmen's down with eye stye. Hope she will get well soon. =)

Well, I received a super belated gift from Brotherhood today. I am very touched by their efforts, especially my roomie, Wei Yen's. They made me a photo album consisting of all my major friends throughout my life so far. Haha. It's damn nice, trust me. =) I was very surprised too. And hiding it from a sensitive guy like me takes a lot of effort. Although when I think back, I could have caught him easily. Thanks a lot still! That being said, I must thank everyone who has written me a note in that album. Not in order of merit: From Brotherhood: Basically everyone. Haha. Alvyn, Jeff, Weiyen, Khong Ching, Shane, Sijun, Suping, Alex. From NYJC Band: Ruth, Ming Min, Yee Wen, Jun Rong, Hui Shan, Angeline, Hui Min and Cher Siang, Irene, Qui Fong, Tessa, Chong Ying, Junelle. From 04S6B: Wai Kit, Hui Juan, Qing Jing, Geok Leng, Wen Fang, Sharon, Karene, Yang Jie, Peng Keong, Nevin, Hui Ling, Kai Siang. From 04S3A: Sok Fong Surprisingly, Natania appeared in the photo album too. Hahaha. Tha...

Merry Christmas everyone! I had a wonderful gathering at Alvyn's house on Christmas Eve. I brought Carmen along and we sure had a lot of fun. It was a usual gathering, with everyone excited about eating and catching up. We played our usual game of Drunkard Elephant and forced Alex to drink some strange concoction that Khong Chin made. We included something new this year. We had a mini gift exchange. Haha. And I got a small octopus plush toy. I hoped everyone had a great time. And I hope she isn't too bored. Haha. I went to the church yesterday, and gave me support for my mother who was getting baptised. Now I know how a baptism ceremony goes. Haha. I just hope that she will be happy from now onwards. I think she was the happiest person on Earth yesterday. =) Hope I have not sinned too much this year. Oh, and I missed another CASTaway gathering. =( There are like 5 days left to the new year. And the 3 of us went New Year shopping today. Haha. I wasn't supposed to buy anythin...

Christmas is coming, and that may as well signify that the end of the year is approaching. Many are hoping to meet up with one another, to catch up on times lost throughout 2008. Time flew by, really. This year passed so fast that I have to come up with my 2009 resolution when I haven't thought of the one this year. Oh wells. I guess the World still spins in spite of your refusal to budge. I went running this morning (God knows when was the last time I did that). I ran to Jalan Kayu and bought Prata back for my family. But things didn't actually go to plan. My intention was to run there and run back, with fresh, hot prata, out from the pan delivered to my family. Then here goes. I woke up hoping that it was raining, but to my unpleasant surprise, it wasn't. So I reluctantly changed and went out. It was unbelievably far. Haha. I reached there, searched for the stall and got the breakfast. During which, I decided that it will be too tiring for me to run back, so I took a bus....

Many events have passed, and it will probably take a 2 page long post to describe them all. I had 3 birthday celebrations over the weekend, 2 of which are S3A people. Brotherhood went out on Saturday night to celebrate Alex's birthday at Manhattan's Fish Market. I must apologise to Xiao Hui for cutting short at her party for Alex's dinner. We went to Eski Bar after that. It's a really nice place, but it's way too cold in their cold room. Haha. We are actually shivering while taking this picture. I am still on a ban for drinks, but I did had one shot and a few glasses of beer. Haha. Oh wells. Zhen Cong's birthday was on Monday night, and most of the S3A people were present. Haha. And we did see someone that looked like Xie Qiang. I did see some rare faces at the party, like Pei Wen and Kevin. Haha. By the way, Xiao Hui is flying to Finland next year, so I think we should send her off. On a side note, CASTaway gang seems to be in dire states. Hmm. You are The Magi...

Just like the seasons, people do change. And in fact, I think I had. I no longer enjoy the thrill of making fun of people nor creating dumb jokes in front of them. In fact, I feel restless now. I think, I am old. I don't enjoy cheap thrills as much as before. I don't feel excited about drinking alcohol now. I don't feel adolescent-like anymore. I don't, feel like before. I think I am old, and I have began to settle down. This is not a change that I fancied, but I guess I just have to make do with it. Men, for one thing, are fickled-minded beings. They can't settle for one thing and convince themselves that the thing they have is the thing they want. They always have this "mai hiam buay pai" policy looming around down frontal lobes in their brains. And some, not all, use their little brother to think, more than the times they brush their teeth, not that they brush a lot of teeth either. In relationships, they aim for what they want, but they don't get i...

What a day it is today. First of all, I should start by saying thank you to the person who returned my wallet. I dropped my wallet at Bugis bus stop. Realising it's disappearance after 5 minutes, I went back to search but it was in vain. I thought all was gone and lost my appetite and the mood for games at Minds Cafe. On my way to the police station, my mum called and told me some kind soul returned my wallet to my doorstep. It's really really very nice of the person to do that. He didn't leave his contact details though and all I know is that he lives in the North. I am really very appreciative and grateful towards him for doing that. Thanks. =) Some Singaporeans are really worth commending. On a side note, many thanks to Wei Yen for helping me out with the directions and numbers while I was flustering under stress. And of course, dear Carmen for sticking with me throughout the whole disastrous afternoon. I would have died out there, if not for her. Thanks. Speaking of whi...

Today was a long day. I woke up feeling dazed. I think it's due to the Monday's Blues syndrome. Nonetheless, I went out to meet Wei Yen and Alex to sing songs at Topone. None of us had been there before, despite hearing good stuffs about that place. We went and it was really quite worth it. There is a free flow of drinks and you can sing from 11pm to 6pm for only $16 nett, GST and service charges included. Considering our status as paupers, it is really quite a good bargain. Still, it can never be good, singing with 2 other guys, especially when they start singing duets that none of us can hit the pitch. My ears almost got ripped off. Haha. Despite that, it was a fantastic time with them, as usual. We wanted to satisfy our craving for KFC but faced stubborn obstacles. As the outlet in Bugis is rather small, 2 women hogging the seats and refusing to give it to us will mean that we will have to settle for the floor. So left with no choice, we decided to put our army skills to use...

Its getting increasingly boring at home nowadays. Blogging is such a chore, especially when you have nothing much to talk about. And with people commenting much about my bad grammar, I really think I shouldn't talk much here. Anyway, I went to Johor and came back on Friday. Yeah. Being such a noob and never stepped foot into our friendly neighbour's land before, I finally realised there are elsewhere other than Singapore in this World. After dwelling in my peaceful lair for 21 years, I can finally say this with pride, "I went to Malaysia.". Oh wells, I doubt anyone cares either. In comparison, I think I will prefer Singapore more, especially the traffic. Well, nowhere beats a place like home. Still, I went crazy shopping with Carmen and bought rather lots of stuffs. I probably won't visit it again soon, although I haven't satisfy my wishlist. Alright, next stop: Taiwan. Despite that heavy shopping, I went out to Queensway on Saturday and got myself a pair of ...

Exams are pretty much over. This is the time when rest and relax kicks in. I guess there are many I should meet up, since I have seen them since June. Carmen's birthday came and went. I hope she enjoyed her day and like the card. Many thanks to Eldar people whom specially made time to meet me. Well, tomorrow is painting day. Haha. My house is coated in light pink now. Haha. I will continue the corridor lining with another colour, which we haven't decide. Haha. I am going Malaysia on Friday. I shall see what I can buy there. I will sound like a noob if I say I haven't been there before, but so what? It will be my first time there. Haha. Ok I shall update when more activities rake up.

You know, all along in my life, I always thought that I was blessed somehow. Ever since young, I always felt this spirit following me. Yes it is a spirit, but I have no idea who is it, or how it came about. It has always been my pillar of support since the Secondary School days. I don't normally share this but it has not failed me again, I guess. And probably, it's the only reason and cause that will keep me sane and being myself again. Others have a lot of faith in me. People like Carmen, Sharon, Ying, Tessa, Xinying, Li Xuan & of course, my band of brothers, to name a few. I have been relatively good so far, as in I have not deviated much from the 'standard' course that most adolescents walked. I was on the bus and I saw young punks, blasting music on the bus, and spitting on the floor. I don't do that, and neither will I. And I probably will stay on course till, maybe my whole lifetime. I guess it doesn't matter which way I take, as long as I stay above m...

So I am finishing my final paper tomorrow at 2.30 p.m. I had 2 papers on yesterday and I think both weren't well done. I swear I will try to avoid taking 2 papers in the same day next semester. The overwhelming pressure and sense of inadequate prepared-ness can just kill. I am come to terms with this cruel World. Sometimes, life's just goes on without mercy, without consideration of every individual that it comprises of. The World still turns even when some have stopped following the current. I have this eminent gut feel at times that I should just stop bothering about everything else in this World and let the tide of time decides whether people can ride or sink in it. Follow the current and ride on the tide and live like the World revolves around you instead of you revolving around it. Let egocentricism thrive at its fullest and apathy kicking in with vengence. And I will see the World performs its show from there. And someone shall start an epidemic. An epidemic so wide a sca...

Tell me about insomnia. It's probably the anxiety of ill- preparedness for the 2 papers that's coming later, or the weight of taking them both in the same day is just too much for me to bear. Or maybe it's just other stuffs. I had trouble falling asleep. Incidentally, that will count as the first sleepless night I ever had here. It's like 2 a.m in the morning now. Considering that I faintly remember that I last saw the clock at 1.15 a.m, I think, I just woke up. And I woke up due to a nightmare. It's quite scary. Well, guys also have nightmares, don't they? That stupid same old recurring dream. One day I shall strangle that Uncle, even though I always feel helpless in dreams. One day I shall, that is, if I meet him again in the dreams. I am going to wear the Higher Entity's clothes later. See if it's really that high and blessed.

It's been one week into the examinations already. Some would have dried up in this long run while others still struggling and a few baffled by how some others managed to whizz past this period. Still, it's still like a pit-stop, although with dire expectations for worse to come. We shall look forward to the end together, if companionship at least helps a little. My Japanese paper came and went. All I can say now is probably I shouldn't have underestimated the paper. Having attempted a few past years' papers, I misjudged the difficulty, and didn't prepare adequately enough. I daresay the Japanese are not only creative, but they are tricky as well. Haha. I am just hoping th at I will do just good enough. The Bell curve. Haha. If I really flunk it, I guess there's nothing much I can do either. Oh wells, if there's someone to point a finger to, that will be myself. Li Xuan just commented that she enjoyed reading my blog. Haha. Well, it isn't anything signifi...

In the midst of studying, I guess it's alright to find some entertainment to relieve some stress. I went to play soccer on last Saturday morning with the usual gang. It's really quite good to hang out with good old friends, despite me seeing them almost every weekend. Khong Chin kindly asked us to go and play bowling ah E! Hub for free, as her aunt is a NTUC club member, but it turned out only he gets to play for free. It was a competition. Well, at least the 3 of us managed to study a little at Coffee Bean, while waiting for him to play finish his free bowling competition. Anyway, the Taiwan trip's proposal came up again. However, to arrange for a trip this late seemed futile. Just trying our luck I guess. We went to eat at Mr Chicken Rice. If I am not wrong, the chef came from Chatterbox at Mandarin Meritus. From what I heard from the others, the standard doesn't seem to compare to the one back at Chatterbox. It must be due to the different ricecooker they used. It mu...

Life's like an irony. Maybe it has always been that way since. The grass is always greener on the other side. I guess this phrase is apt to a certain extent. I used to grumble about how much I wished that I have this and that, and now those wishes came true, threefold of what it should be. The chase in greed seems endless, and we can have possibly impossible wants and needs. When one acquires one thing, he wants another. Maybe the only way to escape from this cycle is through contentment. Easier said than done it is, it could be the most unattainable trait in our whole lives. If everyone possessed this quality, then probably it will be a perfect World through a child's eyes. But in reality, that perfection is only imaginary. I am probably experiencing cognitive dissonance now, I don't practise what I preach. Neither do I preach much. I think I am sounding rather incoherent, and I shall stop for now. On a side note, here's an apology to Peiwen, for missing out on her par...

I can't help but feel that it has been a rather disappointing year so far. After consolidating the resolutions that were left undone, I then realised I didn't achieve much, at all. Maybe things will go for a change next year, but looking at the way things lie stagnant, it's going to take more than a change. It could just be the fact that I had set unbelievably astonishing targets to achieve. I think I took a really bad fall this time round. I am literally scavenging for any remains of efforts and hopefully reuse them the next time. I guess life just doesn't go the way you prefer it to at times. Some time has passed. Inevitably, a person like me, will recall a lot of weird things. I vividly remember what Yi Wen's great granduncle said, the last time I visited her. Well, I know this issue is just a matter of perception and as a budding psychology student (I hope), I should have understood that there is little validity and reliability in fortune telling. Haha. Now the ...

Despite repeating this before, I still have to say it. Tuesdays are my sulkiest days. The pressure is mounting. I woke up alarmed at the fact that I have only 2 weeks left to my first paper. Well, that's still alright, considering that fact there are Japanese Oral and Listening tests next week. Oh wells. Sigh. HS* Club Committee is rather screwed up, at least I think it is. There has been 3 occasions whereby information was conveyed at the last minute; either the night before or on the day itself. Seriously, this isn't good. For a CCA that considers itself a Tier 1 Club, such efficiency is horrendous. You can't expect people to work within a 6 hours notice, can you? Tonight was the last lecture for Human Resource Management. There was a mock test or rather, a question posted to us, and we are expected to answer it. Apparently, things aren't as easy as they seemed. I realised pure memorisation of the facts doesn't exactly equals to scoring well in the paper. Haha. So...

Well, it is 2015 on a Friday night, and I am still at Hall, eating Subway alone. Obviously bored, I am here trying to blog about anything that comes to my mind now. Haha. Wei Yen better thank me for waiting for him while he does his 'project'. Haha. Well, to sum things up, life hasn't gone that bad since the last week. Seriously, what could be worse than that? It wasn't exactly negative to begin with. Heh. Someone once told me that when you reached the bottom of the pit, the next step is usually upwards. It's nice having Psychology mates like Jane, Huiqi and Corrine around. Each of them gives you a whole new taste to University life. Corrine is like Alice in Wonderland , and she never fails to cheer me up with her 'blur' character. Seriously, who can still get lost in NTU at this point of time? Haha. Somehow I can see the Geok Leng in her, but she has a much stronger character. Well, it isn't a bad thing to be so innocent at our point of life now. At lea...

Tuesday is still my most tiring day. I start lessons at 8.30 a.m and ends at 8.30 p.m. Well, that effectively means I am awake for more than 12 hours in school. To top it off, I had to eat dinner alone tonight. Haha. Nice start to my week. My paper starts on 13th November, and that roughly sums up the number of days I have left to exams. Haha. It's a terrifying thought, considering the lectures haven't ended and will probably last till next week. That doesn't provide me with much time to study at my pace, I guess. Well, adaptability is probably the key. If I present to you a glass of water filled to the halfway mark, will you consider it to be half-empty, or half-filled? It's a matter of perception, I will want to think of it as half-empty. At least, it isn't empty completely. I hope I am turning optimistic already. I went through a lecture on Social Psychology today. I read the wrong chapter beforehand, which got me a little disappointed, but I guess nothing is los...

3 months into a new phase of life and some things certainly don't change. Take it on me for being over-zealous. I might have aimed too high, and the fall I had was too painful. Before the start of everything, I wanted to achieve a lot of things. Supporting my own self, targeting good grades, passing my driving test and many others. I guess I certainly ain't on the right track now, for most of these objectives set back then. In retrospect, maybe I wasn't cut out to be so ambitious. Overestimation of myself probably rode over my head. Even now, I also don't think I am cut out for a lot of things. I have been guilty of a lot of things. Guilty of breaking promises, guilty of not upholding my principles, guilty of changing. Is this an inevitable phase that all must go through? Regrets, I had a few, but none were too serious that I wished they weren't irreversible. But maybe my conscience is rocking now, because of them. I must not let my loved ones down. That's proba...

I can't sleep, and probably I didn't sleep much. I didn't look at the clock for fear of counting how much sleep I have lost. I am scared of daybreak. I can't rest my brain with this immense negativity proliferating around me. I have a lot of worries, lots and lots of them. My cognitive perception just got worse and worse each time I thought about it. I am going to shut myself up for a while. It might only be temporary, who knows. And I am still sick. Wonder when I will recover. I really hope it is.

Despite that strong medication, I am struggling against the immense drowsiness that comes with it and fighting it to the end. I am doing what I think I do best; Getting into people's heart. I don't give up when I believe I need to extend a helping hand, regardless of whether you belong to my group of close friends or not. I do what I believe I need to do. Even if I die doing so, I won't regret it. I don't give up. Only for 2.4 km I guess. The medication's side effect didn't come at a good time, but it's effective at least. But probably, that's the limit a Human can go, I guess. Believe.

I gues there's no need to emphasize this, but exams are in one month's time. I have been considering the S/U option for both my Human Resource and Crystals. Oh wells, there is a crystal test today and the results today should determine the S/U outcome. I really regretted listening to others and taking the electives together. In the end, others also dropped. There will be no repeat next semester. I swear on it. I should start stressing everyone around me. I have completed my 2 essays due next week in advance. I am really starting to study. Life's really quite tough in University. Whoever that was whom said that University was easier than JC. He must be a genius. Struggling with medication in class is no joke. I shouldn't waste my parents' money in university. On a lighter note, I just received my Birthday present from CASTaway gang. Haha. Thanks a lot people, I am sure it costed quite a bit. Thanks again.

I fell sick, yet again. Throat inflammation has always been my nemesis since young, and I never really grew out of it ever since the Band days. Maybe I am really just weak. I thought I was going to die over the weekend in Hall 11, since having a high fever with no one around me was a rather scary thought. What worries me was that my corpse will rot until Wei Yen finds me on Sunday night. I rather die with my body intact, not some ants crawling over it. Then again, I am healthily alive. Haha. Incidentally, that made me stay at home on Saturday. I realised I haven't been home on a Saturday night for quite a long while, and somehow I think my family missed me. Even though they will be doing their own stuff or sleeping, their presence alone is enough to make you feel at ease. I think I should stay at home more often nowadays. Nonetheless, I would like to extend my apologies to a few for missing out on the Hari Raya visit that I organised. Due to my sickness, I probably will struggle to...

I have fallen ill at a silly inappropriate time like this. That means, my weekend's plans are gone more or less. Despite my large reluctance to withdraw from those activities, the final call will rest on my body tomorrow morning. I will see if my body can take it. Ok, this might not appeal to most of you. My command of English isn't fluent, but hope it gets the message out. Even though negativity is in the air, there's at least something for me to smile about. Not trying to boast about it here, even though I feel my ego boosting. It's really nice having someone out there who cares for you. Not that my family concern ain't enough, but it's a different form altogether. Life in university has been rather tough. Probably taking up the responsibility of holding the hand of another isn't going to alleviate the situation here, but there are other takeaways from it. Really. It really feels good when you know someone puts all her faith in you, and really believed in ...

Sometimes, I am wondering why I keep this blog for. I got back both of my quizzes' results today. Considerably and relatively, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still, there's no time for complacency I guess. Stressful as it is, school work never fails to pile pressure on us. I believe some of us are desperately grasping for air, struggling between Hall or CCA activities and work. I am sure it won't hurt to really re-examine your workload and schedule, to see if you are getting enough respite for yourself. It's not nice seeing your tired faces out there, slogged the day before and missing that little smile. Exams are coming soon, and hope everyone survives through this ordeal again. It's a little strange when someone approaches you on your way to the toilet, and asks you for advices on his relationship problems. Well, I don't think I am a love guru or something, but nonetheless, you are still welcome to find me and share your problems. Haha. On ...

Well, recess week is officially over and life's going back on track in University. Then again, most people don't regard recess as a break, but an opportunity to catch up. Still, I spent the whole of Saturday out with my Secondary School brothers. Despite us living so near each other and meeting up regularly, we rarely go out for dinner together. And it's special occasion that we tend to see rare faces. We were happily scorching ourselves in the morning sun chasing a soccer ball beside Montfort Secondary School, before realising our limits in fitness. Haha. I think all of us are getting old. Celebrating Khong Chin's and my belated birthday, we headed down to Madestos near Forum for dinner. It's an Italian restaurant with lots of cheese, obviously, and cheese, for those who know, are my favorite. However, the pasta I ordered wasn't really appealing to me, but I guess it was a rare experience for us also, to be eating in such high-class restaurant. After which, we ...

Friday is here, and yes, it means recess week is coming to an end. I booked out from hostel earlier than usual today, accompany Wei Yen to National Library Board at Bugis to complete his Observational Behavior project essay. To my surprise, or rather I didn't know, that we can't bring materials into the library. Hence, I happily Viwawa-ed on my laptop in the library while he did is project. The security there is rather tight, comparative to the one in army. Since we rather had some time together, we decided to do some window shopping. And we travelled to Raffles City in the end, and saw the F1 crowd. Being Singaporean, we enjoy having cheap trills. So we combed parts of the track in search for a good spot to view the racing event. We took some pictures of F1 cars that zoomed by, but apparently, they were to fast to be captured by my camera phone. Thus, to prove our little participation in this extravagant event, we took this. Hahaha. There is a good spot at Marina Square, whe...

It's like a while since I wrote something here, considering the fact that I used to write here every other day. It's been a rather hectic week despite it being a recess week. Have been trying to catch up with work but rather unsuccessful. Haha. But I am glad recess week came, at least it gave me a little break, even though I might not deserve one. Haha. On Wednesday, we went to ADM for a Japanese Opera about NOH. It was on Japanese Culture and it's quite interesting. After which, Hwee Min joined us for dinner at Ichiban Sushi and we went KBox and Wei Yen turned up subsequently. I will see if there are pictures I can upload here. Don't ask me what John is doing with Mr Smiley. The rest of the week was mostly spent with Carmen, I guess it's a good way to catch up on lost time during the previous weeks spent in school. Oh, by the way, her pink laptop is really pretty and I am glad I made a new friend Charlie, who happens to be her very good friend also. And I am a main...

All along after being through JC , I developed certain traits and done certain things in my life that I am really proud of. Despite that pride, I have learnt to stay humble and continue my way of life in my own World. Hence, I have gained a vast amount of inner confidence to keep doing the things I deemed right. Ying was telling me I had a hell of a 2 months since the start of University, and really, I don't have any evidence to deny that claim. And now, it's the recess week and all. I don't like showing myself as weak to a lot of people, because I want people to feel comfortable with me, and making them feel comfortable is already half of the job done. I am rather exhausted, although I hate to admit it, but that isn't stopping me from doing what I like to do. And really, what I really want in life, is my loved ones feeling happy and everything. I know happy is an ambiguous emotion and a vague state of life, but you people know what I mean. It doesn't really matter ...

Ok, here's to pay tribute to some of my beloved friends who have made extreme efforts to celebrate my 21st Birthday to me. On a serious note, I wasn't expecting any celebrations, as quizzes were around the corner and people busy with school work. Yet, these people came over to my hall specially to put a smile on my face. Firstly, my first 3 months class, 04S6B. Well, they are a bunch of crazy fellows, and indeed they have proven themselves yet again but travelling to Pulau NTU. I got a surprise when I saw many faces I didn't expect to appear. Well, I won't say much, since they are always an integral part of my life. Haha. I am thankful for the efforts made by Hui Juan, Sharon, Geok Leng, Wen Fang, Peng Keong, Yang Jie, Kai Siang, Qing Jing and last but not least, Nevin. I probably didn't look real happy, but I am elated deep inside. Thanks. Up next, but not in anyway inferior to the previous group, Eldar popped by to give me a belated surprise. Although it wasn'...

While I was in the midst of doing last minute catching up for HP101 quiz tomorrow, someone came and gave me an intriguing thought. He asked me when are we going to stop this paper chase and be rich and forget about working. Seriously speaking. I don't want that to happen. I see no point in being rich anymore. I see no point in having priceless antiques or material possessions that I can use to exchange what I really want in life. Money can't give me anything, and I proved it recently. All these wild goose chase, and in the end, I don't really get what I want in life. It's ok, if you aim to make it big out there in life, then go for your dreams. And I wish you godspeed. I am seriously quite contented with my life already, not because I believe I don't have a future, but the fact that I am counting my blessings now and then. I have a place to live, a place to love, a place to improve my knowledge, a place where I have fun. Family, love, school, friends. With all these...

There isn't anything else I can ask for already. Cherish what I have, I must. I will do anything to put back that smile on your face. Hopez.

Admist all those depressing stuff, let me try to squeeze some positive aspects of this week out. Well, it has been a relatively good start to the week, knowing that I should have a happy day around the corner. Last Monday, CASTaway headed down to Downtown East Coasta Sands to celebrate Michelle's birthday, which coincidentally, falls on my Birthday too. Haha. It feels weird when you are celebrating someone else's birthday on your birthday. But really, it still feels the same I would say. Aloysius wasn't present, due to his rally, and I am glad that he got nominated for Hall 12 Sports Director. Still, I am sure Michelle won't mind having the rest of us present. Happy 21st Birthday, Mich! I wish her good grades & good fortune in finding her partner soon! I never regretted spending that 6 months in Compact. I had Human Resource quiz on yesterday, which was kind of tough in a sense. Haha. I fell asleep 7 minutes into the paper and Linna woke me up. Haha. I don't thi...

As most might know, I am quite a carefree person by nature. I let fate decide a lot of things. I don't go for things that I know I can't attain, like getting an IPPT goal or some scholarly shit. But this time, all I am asking for, is just the goodwill of my loved ones. I guess fate doesn't consist of logic and reason, or probably, I have done too many bad stuff that caused bad karma. But I realised something, fate isn't reliable anymore. From now on, I shall be skeptical in my life, put on my coloured glasses and scheme around like some evil mastermind. If that's the way I have to ensure my survivability, hence in return that of my loved ones, I will do it. Trust me, I will. Of all those noble things I said I will do to my loved ones, I discovered I am rather powerless to complete most of them. Despite being the Yong Xiang whom some of you respected so much, I think I will probably fail a lot of people now. I seriously feel powerless, and useless, all of a sudden. A...

The first week of September has passed. A few weeks back, I told myself September will be the start of everything nice. And I hope I haven't made a wrong prediction. There has been a reshuffle of priorities so far. I can't tell for sure if I am right. But I am keeping my fingers crossed. See how it goes, for the remaining weeks to come.

In an attempt to make this place livelier, I have decided to blog again. It was good playing soccer with the gang again, although there's a mere turnout of only 6. All the talk-cock sessions, and funny bullshits from the past keeps haunting us. Tomorrow's Khong Chin birthday, hope you enjoy his 21st in a memorable fashion. Haha. And I can announce officially that I am jobless. I quitted the recruitment job, as I realised what my priorities were. And I wasn't really happy working. Hence, despite the appalling incentives that the job can offer, I gave it up, to put more smiles on my face. Now I have to work harder to sustain my expenses. Haha. I should start saving and spend less. I went to watch Wall.e with Carmen earlier on. It's really a cute animated comedy, with a bit of cliche love story in it. Haha. Still, everything was pieced up for a happy ending, like how a PG-rated movie should be. Looking back, I really didn't have an easy day today. But it's worth th...

When I blog barely once a week, similar to the case like now, you can really start convincing yourself that I am very busy. Actually, I ain't busy with lot of activites or whatsoever. Instead, I am literally not active in Hall activities or anywhere considerably lively. School work has been going at a relatively fast speed, and I haven't been able to catch up with my target. Next 2 weeks will be the time where all the quizzes and Continual Assessments come in. I better buck up. I am juggling between different priorities, and probably, I will have to give up some and find alternatives that are easier to sustain. I don't want to give away my first semester. Besides all these serious stuff, I really need to review the amount of sins I have not atoned so far. I almost got into 2 car accidents within the short span of 2 days. Words can't seem to be generated in my brain. I shall stop here then.

Things have relatively settled down since the turbulent times a few weeks ago. Last Saturday, Kelly's boyfriend decided to surprise her, by organising a surprise party for her on her Birthday. Haha. She was obviously elated and surprised, by an unlikely appearance of her closest friends in sequence. We appeared last, not because we were the most important, but largely due to the reason that some of us were late. Haha. Still, it's been a while since I actually got together with them. An unlikely community that knitted out of nowhere in the workplace, that's us. To think we are still rather active in meeting up, that's quite commendable. Nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves yet again, with another bowling showdown. I believe detailed and vivid description of the showdown can be found on Wei Chuan's blog, so I shan't elaborate further. Well, it's been some time since I really enjoyed myself. And of course, I am glad that Kelly had a memorable birthday this year. I...

It's always good to go for a haircut. But I will advise you not to visit the barber when Singapore is playing in the Table Tennis 3rd place playoffs. Serious. As the commentary gets more intense and Li Jiawei gets a point, each stroke the barber exerts seemed to increase proportionally. There appears to be a positive correlation between the intensity of the Table Tennis match and the amount of hair that gets cut. On the account that my hair is relatively drier and tougher, my hair is still in shape, thankfully. Not that it has much shape to begin with. I almost thought I would turn into a bloody bald by the time the match ended. Putting that aside, the barbers were having quite an interesting conversation. It was on Li Jiawei's motivation to win the match. If I didn't catch it wrongly, they discussed about the prize money that she will be receiving if she won third placing in Table Tennis in the Olympics. There was a moment when the commentator said over the radio that Li J...

I have neglected a lot of people ever since school's started. Castaway, my buddy, S3A to mention a few. Got to apologise to these people, for not putting enough effort to meet up with them. I have seriously no idea what my time was spent on. I slept at 4a.m on Wednesday morning, in an attempt to stuff all the crystal information into my brain. After 2 intensive days of mugging, my 2 tests are over, for the time being. Japanese Hiragana spelling test was relatively easy, given that it's interesting to study also. There's another spelling coming up this Friday, for the rest of the characters in Hiragana. It's completely like drawing. Haha. However, I got a C for my first Symmetry & Crystals Continual Assessment. It's quite demoralising, considering the number of people who left us and us getting a low grade for our very first minor exam in University. I guess I will just have to work doubly hard from now onwards. Yesterday was Joyce's birthday. We went out to ...

Ok. The third week is coming. Haha. This sounds like being in army, where time is presumably measured in weeks. I don't know why, but there are 2 tests coming up already. I almost thought I am going to die when I knew that there were 6 chapters to study for one of them. I haven't done any readings either. Haha. Readings and essays, welcome to the world of Arts and Social Sciences. The add-drop period of this Semester has ended, 2 hours ago. Well, I did get into some courses that I wanted, thanks to Jia Min. Will be taking Japanese language, Human Resource and Symmetry and crystallisation (Chemistry) other than my Psychology core modules. It's time to start working hard. Staying in hall for the next semester will be a real pain. Not because the environment or lodging isn't favourable, but the heavy prerequisites that we have to fulfil to be able to stay in hall. Haha. If you think studies are heavy enough, now I will have to think of CCAs, or committees to run for, in or...

Firstly, I must apologise to Aloysius, for missing out on his hall bash at Zouk. Sorry bud, owe you one. It's the second week of school, and still, a hectic week. Due to the add-drop period, my timetable hasn't been finalised, and of course, I am hoping for spaces to open up for some modules. If not, I will just have to stick with the timetable now, which is not bad either, I got Monday free. Haha. Been running around in school lately, bumming into many familiar faces, I saw Zheng Yu & Karen today at Nanyang Auditorium, but apparently both of them doesn't recognise each other. Haha. Oh wells. I guess I shall bring her to go meet the S3A guys someday. Haha. I went running yesterday night, in a desperate attempt to regain the lost fitness. Haha. NTU contains treacherous slopes and hidden bends that one must be careful. I will run regularly from now onwards. I completely missed the CCA fair, and now I have like no idea what NTU has. Haha. But I am quite decided to join WSC...

I seemed to have missed out a lot of stuff. I have recovered but I am down with cough and flu again. It's like a NTU virus, everyone seems to be infected with it. Zhi Ying and gang suffered high fevers. It's weird when one group get affected at the same time. Hope I get well soon. I have been missing soccer and basketball games invites, from Wei Chuan and S3A respectively. Apologies to them, as it's either I am occupied with other stuffs or down with sickness. I am damn weak I realised. Haha. First week of school's over. Haven't really settle down, but at least I got a feel of how life's like in University. Now is to the make the schedule more manageable. I even started my driving lessons, they are fun, no doubt. Slowly, one step at a time, we shall get things done.

Out of boredom, I tried this. You're 6:49 a.m. You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy, it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky. To think I remember the lecturer saying that psychologists don't believe in such tests, cause they aren't considered scientifically reportable. Haha. I am loving my course, despite the heavy coursework. It's what I lived for.

Self-destruct. Probably that's the word. Everything has made me feel very depressing. I don't know how to go about explaining it, but I seriously just don't want to care anymore. Judge using whatever seasoned eyes you have. Forget it. Work's depressing, study's depressing, and every other thing seems to appear so. Wtf.

First of all, must thank Joyce for bringing medication for me from home. Without those weird looking charcoal pills, I will probably still be in the toilet. So thanks again. =) I attended my first lecture today. A 3 hour long one. Seriously, I wasn't paying attention 75% of the time, moreover, there was someone playing Gunbound in front of me using his laptop. I also wasn't attracted to what he said also, his tone was rather dull. Haha. I went back MCi today, to realise that I am really lagging behind. Even Hui Juan has closed a deal. Oh no. Wonder if I can cope. Looks like I have to start from scratch again. My timetable is rather slack, and I only have 3 exams this semester. I couldn't get one course I wanted, so there. Oh wells, I will treat it as adaptation period. A short entry. Pulau NTU.

What a 'great' start I got at School. First day of school, and I am down with high fever and diarrhoea. To think feeling super cold at night wasn't bad enough, I visited the toilet at least 13 times. I slept in jeans, to make myself warmer, in addition, I also wore socks. I think its bad Karma coming back at me. Had plans to cab home in the morning if I still didn't get better. But I am feeling much better now. Last night was totally like a nightmare. And for no good reasons, I seemed to travel around the whole NTU Campus thrice. Meeting up with Aloysius, buying textbooks, registering subjects and many minor events. Still met up with the Elves for dinner at Jurong Point. I am quite proud of myself, to actually make Li Xuan and Xinying stay for the whole dinner. But I was getting sicker and sicker as time ticks in Jurong Point. Haha. But it wasn't an entirely bad night, at least. =) Oh, and it's Maz 21st Birthday today! Wishing her to a good start to school and a...

I missed Ho Kong's 21st Birthday Dinner with S3A on Friday night. So hereby wishing him a Happy Birthday and hope he does well in his studies at NTU and live happily ever after with Delphine. Haha. It was Freshman Welcome Ceremony on Friday, followed by HSS Welcome Day. Haha. Basically I went there for the goodie bags, and I think most went because of that too. Of course, there was nice company to begin with. Haha. Nothing's interesting other than we took a group photo in our Graduation gowns. Already thinking of graduating before we haven't even started school. Haha. Guessed what, I met S3A's long lost friend, Karen at the Welcome Day. She hasn't changed much, and she could remember some of you. Probably we will meet each other again in NTU. Haha. To my surprise while roaming around NTU, I bummed into several Hall 11 OGs. I even saw Wei Yen with his group on the shuttle bus to South Spine. Haha. The World is small, really. I even realised that both Chun Ji and his ...

I couldn't sleep lately, not because troubled or what, by was awaken by my mother. Haha. Tomorrow's the Freshman Welcome Ceremony. As the start of school draws near, I guess many, including me, are already feeling the pressure of the expectations and workload that follow. Well, I can't say I am not excited about University life and all the fun, but these will be the 4 years that determine the rest of my life. Probably not entirely, but it's going to make a major impact on the path that I take. Its going to be challenging, when you aren't familiarise with the different places and faces, but still, it's isn't as tough as we think. Like what Leslie said, consistency would probably be our greatest enemy in our course of study, what's more, its 4 years. The girls are already playing their own 'games' and soon, we will begin our own. All of us must work hard to strive for our goals and dreams. There is a lot of uncertainty involved and probably a lack ...

Guess what, I didnt go home last night. It was a rather last minute decision to catch "The X-Files" last night, and so the few of us in Eldar met up hurriedly at Plaza Singapura. Before that we ate at some Japanese restaurant at Cathay. The show was like the usual drama serial shown on TV last time, and not watching it previously, I took a while to understand some stuffs in the story. In overall, the plot was nice, although there was a little gore that freaked Joyce out, and it's rated PG only. Haha. I met Sharon by chance too. It's really so coincidental that I caught her walking past me outside the toilet. She didn't see me though, until I called her. Haha. We were in the same movie too. The World seriously isn't too big, is it? Wanted to burn some time, and hence they suggested going to the arcade to watch Wilson dance Para Para. Haha. He's super professional, you won't believe until you see it. Eldar peeps, I got the video of him showing off his ch...

I know this is going to be a disappointment to some of you, especially Wei Yen. But I have decided to opt out of Hall Camp. Its nothing grand nor extravagant, just a camp to let you know more friends and mingle with your hall mates for the next one year. In fact, I shouldn't even be making a big fuss out of it. But then, I haven't fully recover and I don't want my throat to worsen before school starts. Hence, this decision. So to all other Eldar peeps and Wei Yen going for Hall Camp, enjoy yourselves! And please take good care. In addition, I would like to extend my apologies for missing out on Wei Chuan's 21st birthday. I know he has been looking forward to all of us attending but I gave it a miss. I went to visit a doctor that night as the pain was getting too unbearable. I just hope I will recover fully before 4th August. And I am going to work super hard for my first year. Real hard.

Sad things aside, I finished my faculty camp last week. Shall talk more about it. Its a 5 Days 4 nights camp to begin with. I have heard much about such orientation camps from friends but haven't really been through one till now. I had a surprisingly outgoing and enthusiastic OGL to begin with, so naturally it isn't really tough to mingle with her. But being mostly JC people, we are quite 'inert' and took some time to really start talking cock. Throughout the camp, we went to different places and played different games. The standard items and events were still there, like Fright Night and SP Night. We even resided at Coasta Sands for a while. I am sure organising such a camp on a massive scale like this isn't easy. Haha. So I am rather appreciative for whatever they have tried to plan and forsee, of course there were hiccups and all but still, it didn't spoil much of the fun. On top of the water games & field games, we even paid Sentosa a visit. Not to menti...