In Search of Lost Innocence

Just had IMT today.. Haha.. Was kind of a 'bobo' shooter, maybe due to the fact that I have not been touching rifles for more than one year.. Haha.. Basically, there was what I did the whole day and the rest was just waiting for book-out.. Poor thing Aloysius has to do Guard 2I/C tomorrow.. I have thought over some things already. No longer bothering me, I hope. Somehow, booking out or not makes not much of a difference.

I dropped by Mr Brown's and saw this YouTube video. Haha. Have a Good Laugh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wk51lfLfIQ

Just had a crazy night at Kbox Cineleisure. Didn't sleep again though.. Haha.. We took the package from 2300 hours to 0400 hours.. Haha.. It was nice together with Hsien Yeow, Ming Wei and Chok Chun, haven't really gone out with them before but it was a great night out.. Haha.. There was a package which includes food and beverages till 0600 hours and 2 free Mayday Concert tickets.. But it freaking costs $238, meaning one person have to pay near to $60.. Haha.. That's a lot to pay for one to sing at Kbox. The promoter was like saying if there is no one accompanying us to go to the concert, she won't mind being the partner.. Haha.. Feel like 'niao-ing' her back. Anyway, we didn't pay so much for that thing.. Really too expensive.. Oh.. And I saw the new trailer from Spiderman 3.. Haha.. Compared to the first 2 sequels, this time, Spiderman faces off with 3 'baddies' which makes it more 'wu hua' to watch, cause there was only one enemy in the pr...

Just came back from finishing a guard duty. Was rather tiring due to lack of help from the Guard Commander, and it was my first time doing it.. Well, I am glad all went and ended well. Didn't sleep at all and there was a lot of flying insects.. I even saw a snow-white butterfly, I have not seen one till yesterday. Its beautiful, but it looks poisonous.. Haha.. But I know it can't cause much harm anyway.. Another week passed, and shortened one week to ORD. Hope that the 3 gatherings that I initiated won't flop.. Haha.. Flop, and I swear to Leslie I won't bother to organise again. Will be taking ATP next week, and will be taking leave the week after. The extra duties are here already by the way.. Haha.. On a Sunday. Well done.

Just got back from Yishun. Went with my dad in the new company van to Yishun to purchase some medicine for his leg.. Well, its a few blocks away from Sok Fong's house, but despite that, she doesn't know where it is -.-. Haha.. Whatever the case, the food at the coffee shop there doesn't really taste very good.. All I drank was a cup of Teh-C and I simply shook my head. Haha. Well, with the addition of that new company van in the family, I guess my mother is the one who is the most happy about it.. She is simply elated, and I haven't seen her in this state for quite some time.. Hmmm.. During the trip, my dad talked to me about having friends. " 世界上是没有什么朋友的, 都只是拿来互相利用的工具而已 ..." No matter how much I want to deny that statement, I can't reject its certain truth in it. He began talking about how his friends used him in the past. Only being 'friends' with him because they wanted his help, and how he ended up in this state. He told me that one must be ind...

Woke up rather early today and played soccer with the gang. I guess this kind of gathering is good for both the gang and oneself. I guess I shouldn't engage in such strenous activities the day after a 7 km run.. Haha.. I think I have broken a few bones.. I went to Post Secret and read a bit.. Well, a brief introduction for you guys.. Its a blog that publishes postcards sent by people about their darkest secrets, funny encounters, random thoughts, basically; everything, in an anonymous format. Somewhat the World out there is filled with all kinds of people that have faced or have gone through all kinds of ordeals.. There are people out there who are going through worse times than what we do now.. Sometimes, its just unbelieveable how some things can happen in this World. Read through one of the postcards.. Well it reads "I fantasize about dying early, cause there will be more people attending my funeral." An irony, but that's true to certain extent. I wonder if this W...

Well, this week has passed rather slowly, maybe due to the fact that there wasn't anything much for us to do.. Haha.. I must try to put those recent incidents behind me.. Feeling really 'sianz', I don't even know how to start on the next course.. Really need a good rest. Ran 7 km.. Its the first run in 4 months, and it almost took me out.. Haha.. Must start to train for Army Half Marathon.. Went to do some visiting in NTU yesterday night.. Did some shopping for Leng, before heading over to Hui Juan's place and talked a bit there.. Found out that Jasmine's boyfriend is 1.7 metres tall but only weighs 48 kg.. o.O Can a guy ever get to that skinny state? Haha.. I have yet to meet him though.. Haha.. Probably will never get the chance to.. Juan is still the ever 大姐 pattern, and I am glad that she is still that way.. Haha.. After that, went with Leng to go find Ying.. Went around the place finding food.. Haha.. It was nice seeing them again. How I wish school starts ...

To add on to what Leslie didn't complete in his post. Here's this great song. Fort Minor - Where'd You Go Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone. She said "Some days I feel like shit, Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit," I don't understand why you have to always be gone, I get along but the trips always feel so long, And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone, 'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone, But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call, But when I pick up I don't have much to say, So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up, That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin', Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career, Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?" I miss you so, Seems like it's been forever, That you've been gone. Where'd you go? I miss you so, Seem...

When one tries to hard, destiny itself might prematurely end. I read this phrase while watching the movie "风云" on channel 8 last night. Didn't do much the whole morning. I guess my application to NTU was cancelled, due to the fact that I didn't pay the application fee. I thought I paid already, sometime before I fly to Taiwan, forgotten who was with me.. But apparently I didn't check back and NTU admissions office didn't receive the transaction. Well, maybe I am not fated to study there. Not forgetting, Congratulations to Fang for earning Honours in her course in polytechnic. You have proved yourself to others and I hope and believe you will continue to outshine in your course of life. All the Best to you for whatever that comes along, remember, have faith in yourself. You can do it. Maybe I am losing it. Gratitude is merely the secret hopes of further favors. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Spent the whole day day lazing around, nothing to do, nothing to look forward to. Feeling a bit lost this weekend, hoping for a better upcoming week. Not single a single soul to chat with.. Haix . Everyone is busy with their own lives and schedules. Sometimes, it makes one wonder when this whole 'work thingy' will stop.. Life is getting tougher each day. Do I really have to suck up to others in order to rise up the ranks? Hmmm .. Maybe yes.. On second thought, to hell with you. Let me tell you more about NSFs staying back at schools being as instructors.. In unison with De Shun, we NSFs are being 'abused' by the regulars.. Why? And how? That is the question. Without us, do you think they are able to stay out every night? Without us, who will be there to do daily chores in the bunk? Without us, there won't be a chance to push away tasking. Sometimes, I wish that, just let me go to unit and train outfield.. I might be happier with my men, who are more devoted and cl...

It was a terrible week this week, I would say. Went into the week preparing for the Passing Out Parade of my trainees, in the end. all sorts of stunts pulled out. Was ordered to participate in the parade, even though it wasn't mine.. So dutifully, went to change up and participated in the rehearsals. The rehearsals weren't that bad, but I got punished during one part of it. Was given 3 extras for speeding.. Well, not that I don't admit I did speed, but the way you old people put it, asking whether am I trying to show my frustration by speeding, seriously turns me off. Not even appreciative that I am actually helping out. I would have rammed you with my vehicle if I was really frustrated. Crap. On top of that, my own crew trainee came and asked me, whether did I stab him in the back by arranging him a ' xiong ' posting. Utterly speechless, and furious. If I have the ability to determine where you go, I don't know what else I can't do. Who do you think I am? W...

Spent the whole morning doing absolutely nothing. Was supposed to play basketball with S3A in the morning, but due to the lack of regulars, the whole thing flopped again. It is seriously tough eh? Not giving up yet, there is still the May gathering to come. Will not stop trying unless the May gathering also disintegrate. Haha. Anyway, went to meet Leng to pass her Jasmine's and her gift in the morning.. Glad that she liked it a lot. =) Haha.. Think Si Jun will be furious if he knew about it. =x Will be booking in tonight. Its the start of the break period. Yeah. And Fang, Things will remain like the past. Promise.

Played soccer with the gang today.. Its been a long while since I got such a good workout.. Went for lunch and decided we should go out since its quite rare to have a chance like today.. So went out to Paradiz Centre and played pool there.. After that, Kang's girlfriend, Shu Hui came over and joined us for dinner at Manhattan's Fish Market.. Haha.. Wei Yen and I were struggling to finish the seafood platter for 2.. Its really quite filling.. Well, I am glad I've met up with the Brotherhood gang.. Haha.. Saw Irene at Paradiz Centre with her class.. I don't think most of you know her unless you are from band.. Anyway, she is attached to Jamie (another band personnel).. Haha.. Haven't seen her since Year 2 prelims.. A long time.. She still remains as cheery as before and I think she did quite well in her As.. So all the best to her and Jamie.. Saw another familar face from NY.. Don't know her actually, but she remembers me.. Haha.. So well, the world is quite small...

Just finished talking to Sharon.. Its kind of surprising when you can still remain in close terms with someone you only met for 3 months after 3 long years. I guess what happened in that place was never meant to be an accident.. Thanks, 姐。 I guess not many would have understand a character like me.. I would say for her and even my family.. In my complicated and hectic Montfort years, I learnt a fact that its a 'dog-eat-dog' society out there.. Many a times, I see people fighting over stupid stuffs like you stole my pokemon card.. If not, I see kids like us(back then), trying to act big in a group, shouting like in auctions, one feet on a bench and talking like they've been through the World. Even though these stuffs seem nonsensical and childish, the little us back then knew nothing much about the World outside. In band, the power struggle seems disgusting obvious. Its shocking to see how human nature plays her part in our budding life. Everyone wants a share of power. How...

Insensitive and straightforward Leng might be, I believe there is still certain truth to it. Maybe...., Sorry.

I realised something from the trip, not because of the training there nor the activities there... But rather, something that happened to me, that shook me. Remember that accident I mentioned? I was quite lucky to be alive, I guess. Surviving that fall. Anyway, that's not the main point.. Cherish whatever you have in life. At that moment of the impact, what flashed across me when I was blacking-out was what my life was all about. Shan't elaborate much but sometimes, it's wiser to sit down and think through of the many things that you do and aspire to do everyday.. Think of what you are actually doing it for. When you find the real purpose to do those things, you will naturally feel better and more ready to tackle every obstacles you face. Its really better this way than to feel pressurised and forced, in doing the things that you don't feel like doing. Remaining optimistic is never an easy challenge, but I believe if one is able to do that, one will definitely feel more...

Hey people, I am back. =) Things weren't the same like the last time I visited Taiwan.. Haha.. The weather had a big drastic change.. Its the winter season there at Taiwan, and its quite chilling to be training out there in the cold.. I think the lowest temperature reached was around 11 degrees.. Haha.. You can't see snow yet, but at least there vapor coming out from your mouth as you speak.. Haha.. I have never been to any winter countries before, so I guess there would be the lowest temperature I ever experienced.. The cold seriously slows a person down.. Haha.. Had a few close shaves during my time there.. Had a minor accident.. Haha.. Got a bit of concussion, bruises and sprained my ankle.. Haha.. But I am ok now, so all is fine. Being an instructor or a trainer isn't an easy job.. Sometimes to lead to perform requires you to do things that undermine your principles.. Hate to do that, but this frame I have lost my cool at times, and I will be seeking to improve on that....