In Search of Lost Innocence

Well.. Its been along time since i m here... Not realli coz i dun haf the time, but is sumwat i dun haf the feel to blog ba..life's tough nowadaes... Its all better for the whole lot of us to concentrate on wat we started off at first... These 2 weeks.. I haf heard of the lost of 2 lives.. Nvm hu... But thinkin about it... Sumwta it is scary.. U nv know when it is u... Hahaz.. N i started askin ppl questions... Will u cry for mi if i die? Maybe yes.. Maybe no... But the main point is that.. Live your life to the fullest first ba... U never know... Try not to let yourselves down... Hahaz... I m quite busy wif my class actualli.. Wif all the politics goin around, i haf been tryin to heal and mend the cracks.. But seems like bad 'weatherin' is creatin summore... Not realli sumthing which i can do much.. But juz take one step and see how ba... It's realli saddenin to see my class gettin so separated... Maybe things arent the way they meant to be... I m no hero.. I m more bu...

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I haf been hearin the same stuff over n over again... Maybe it all lies down to me.. But i juz can't think it through lehz... Siao Liaoz... Think it all started with me.. I need to find myself back. feng le.

Things are gettin more n more disappointin as day pass by. We dun realli get wat we want in life. Sumtimes it juz hurt so much. I m gettin tired more easliy nowadays. Maybe I m ageing.

I was never wat u saw. I m merely an self created double. You had so much impact on my life, tat u changed mi so much, I m wat i m becoz of u todae. Since small, you were like my next to kin. I looked up to you as a role model, model professional, coz everything in you is like so perfect. You were popular among other kids, and i wasnt. I was juz another quiet and inferior boy u passed. Yet i got to know you. I wanted to be like you. You haf great fitness, does well in stuides, jokes well and gets popularity from other ppl. I wanted those things. Those things tat i couldnt haf it myself, things i couldnt haf achieved without you. You opened up a whole new world for me. Deep inside my heart, I told myself, I want to be like you. Without you, I would haf never tok to any other stranger in my life. Without you, I may frown all the while I'm alive. Without you, I will not haf the successes that i enjoy now. Without you, I was nothing. Subconscisouly, I m mouldin into another you, withou...

sianz.. Life is getting more n more meaningless... Every start of the week, I m lookin forward to the weekends... It is so routinal. (if there is such a word) I need to sort out my thinking fast.. Shou fang kai.

Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong And no one understands you Do you ever wanna runaway? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud That no one hears you screaming No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right You don't know what it's like To be like me To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down With no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desparate to find something more? Before your life is over Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies While deep inside you're bleeding No you don't know what it...

This is getiin from bad to worse, or from worse to worst. Watever, I cant remember the degree of it le. I haf got a super duper ultra trying-to-be-funny lazy and fat brother, who doesnt like to do anything that will make him burn any of his beloved fats molecules. WTF. He will die in army lo.. He is 75kg.. WTF.. that is 15 kg more than mi... Throw him down can kill an ox... Wah lao... Stubborn mule.. U dun understand wat i go through de. All u know is i go to school earli n come back in the afternoon... N nothing much seems to happen in my life. But little did u know tat, life is not as simple and easy like the kampong days U had. I dun go to school and play goli n go back home wif nothing to do n juz play or catch fishes in the drains.. It is much more complex den u think... There is shit out there, and it is not onli about studies.. Get this clear. U dun understand, and looks like u nv will, coz we are separated by this age barrier.

Life is gettin duller. I m gettin quieter. Juz leave me alone ba. The rate my class is sprinting, is extremely astounding. I will try to keep up. Closed my eyes. Shut my ears.

Tired and exhausted.. I am sick of playing mind games... Warfare of mental assault.. Juz tired.. Poor results, bad grades, lack of time and stress.. These are gettin on my nerves.. Wth.. Looks like i m losing all my friends. Sumtimes maybe keepin quiet is the best thing in life.

Cant bear to see her leave. Cant bear to see her cry. Cant Bear to leave her. Coz I love her too much. N i got her back. into my arms. i m holdin her hand again. and we will walk the rest of our lives together. We will.

Changed to a new skin. Yeah.. Everything past last nite. Sumwat It was too fast. Hope that there will be no after-effects. I haf nitemares last nite. Maybe. Nevertheless, playing soccer later. Took me 1.5 hours to get everything up on this skin. Hahaz. Cheers for mi, and you.

Hurt and scarred. Sumtimes I feel so alone. No one cares. No one bothers. Wound inside my heart tat doesnt seems to heal. Crying deep inside. I m juz an ordinary person tryin to do extraordinary stuffs. Life's juz so bleak.

Ghost of You and Me by BBMak What am I supposed to do With all these blues Haunting me everywhere No matter what I do Watching the candle flicker out In the evening glow I can't let go When will the night be over I didn't mean to fall in love with you And baby there's a name For what you put me through It isn't love, it's robbery I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me Seen a lot of broken hearts Go sailing by Phantom ships lost at sea And one of them is mine Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky I wonder why The stars don't seem to guide me I didn't mean to fall in love with you And baby there's a name For what you put me through It isn't love, it's robbery I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me The ghost of you and me When will it set me free I hear the voices call Following footsteps down the hall Trying to save what's left Of my heart and soul Watching the candle flicker out In the evening glow I can't let ...

Finalli got to rest. Tough weeks to come by. Sumthings, I juz cant do it the way i want it to. I m tired. Realli realli tired. I need to scream. Juz realised that the generation gap between my parent n mi is gettin bigger. Harder to communicate wif them. Sumtimes, just feelin so lonely. My family is gettin worse and worse each day. When one day I cannot take it, I may just take a chopper out, and make chicken rice. ....... Under lots of pressure from my family. I m the eldest son. Ya, and seems that all the responsibility of lookin after the home will depend on mi soon... Wah.. I m simply not ready. Too much, tremendous pressure. Quek was tokin to mi tat day.. tokin about friends. Tat we will lose some n gain some. Not possible to haf them all. Then i was thinkin.. Was this wat happened to LCJ and low? I dunno. Partly was my fault ba... But, I realli wanted to get back to them. I wan them back... But too bad.. Most things like tis are irreversible.. And i guessed they got used to it al...

Untitled by Simple Plan I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight And I can't stand the pain And I can't make it go away No I can't stand the pain How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I've got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can't explain what happened And I can't erase the things that I've done No I can't How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I've got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I've got no where to ...