In Search of Lost Innocence

Yesterdae n todae.... Was a super tirin dae... My bro got a virus in the com... Omg... Well done.. O reformatted 4 times.... Haix... Virus spywares... I kan dao bu yao kan... WTH... I completely wasted my time tis 2 daes... Firstly, muz sae sorrie to the ppl hu i seemed to haf ignored or offended due to the fact that i m in a bad mood.... Yeah.. Cannot blame ma... Haixx... Secondly, muz sae a super big sorrie n gif a super big hug to my precious minminz.... She pei mi all the way... Thank you dear... I love you... Yeah... So fortunate to have u.... *huggies... My com is still havin a bit of a prob... Dunno y... But i think i will get used to it... Hmm.. Will stop here first... Got other things to do...

Lalalala~~~ Teh teh is back form China le.... Dunno whether she had fun anot... Hahaz... Ppl missin her can gif her SUPER HUGGG wen u all meet her... Hahaz.. Realli missed her like siao.... Lolx... Todae went shoppin for banners, den in the end run around Toa Payoh n Bugis lookin for a decent one... Hahaz... Den got one tat was 6metres long... Wooo..... The galsmade the caculations, so mi n JJ has nothing to do wif it... Lolx... If u all find the banner lookin awkward, go find them... Went Bugis, n saw lotss of nice earrings... N i m not gay, juz happen to see sumthing that Tessa would like... Strawberries earrings... Den found out tat she nv peirce ear... Wah lao.... Chong Ying got an English name... One syllabus, dunno start wif wat or end wif wat... WTH... So difficult to guess... Hahaz... Watever, maybe know sum other time... Hereby saying thankz hu to all those hu helped mi wif the Orientation thingy, Thank you ALL beLi MuChIe.... Heez... it not over yet.. Lolx... Still got ...

Today is Christmas... Went Alvyn house yesterade nite to taunt... Hahaz.. Tok lotss of crap n shit... Lolx... Ya ya... We ate turkey bacon n all that stuff u will normally eat during Christmas.. Got a cool shirt from him as a present.. Wooo... It was from England... Ya... Yeah... But the onli thing was tat the size of the shirt was XL... Omg.. M i that fat? Lolx... Juz turned out there was onli one size left.. N so he took tat... Hahaz... Next time u see mi in that shirt, i may be performin in an opera... Later goin out wif min, goin to walk orchard..... Yeah... So long nv go out wif her le.. She muz be feelin disappointed.... Sorrie darling.... So sorrie... I M UTTERLY SICK OF BAND... OHH GOD, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, I DUN WANNA HEAR ANY SILLY THINGS ANYMORE.... TIS IS GETTIN ONTO MY NERVES... I HAF ENUF THINGS TO DO AH.... WTF... I dun gif a damn bout Cav n Jlo.... Silly boys quaaaaarrrrreeeeellllliiinnnggg over childish stuffs.. I m sick of tis kind of boy-boy ridiculus cold wa...

I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... I hate today... Everything juz seems to go wrong todae... WTH... I haf to come n accept the fact that LSJ has snatched up everyone whom I wanted to sell the ticks to.... Dunno why he is helpin Junelle.. Juz dunno why... N you know wat!? I dun haf to beg you guys to buy from mi... Even if I cant sell ANY of my ticks, it is none of ur business... I haf diginity n pride.. Not like sum old AH BENG hu know nuts bout self-esteem... Listen carefully, if none of my ticks get sold, I WILL BUY ALL OF THEM N STUFF THEM INTO UR NOSE... I dun gif a f***ing damn about you guys... I wun die that easily...

Wahahaz... Today went to Tessa's house.. Quite nice.. So cosy... Till jlo n ying ying fell asleep... Wahahaz... Still have to sing Jurassic Park Overture to wake them up.. Wahahaz... The gate was so awesome.. lolx.. reflectin all the infra-red beams from everywhere.. WOW... Lolx... N ur little bunny tat was knocked onto the floor dunno how many times... lolx... Spent 5.5 hrs on the AE poster... I still dunnno hwo to spell AE btw.... Aureus Exprientia?? Ahh... watever.. lolx... Fiddle wif her com n made lots of noises... Wahahaz... So fun... lolx... Think it came out not bad... All thankx to mi... Yeah... k la.. They also got help... *bleahx I m feelin better lo... Good.. Thinkin of fried stuffs... Hee hee... Todae Timothy Reynish came down n haf a prac session wif us.. He was quite cute la.. To some extent... Hope to haf more fun wif him for the days to come... Heex..ok... Will end here... Take carez kkz...?

I haf fallen sick.. well done yong xiang... Haix.. Went to see the doc juz now... my old sickness again... i haf been havin is illness for 17 yrs... hahaz... i m sick of these sickness... Yesterdae nite couldnt sleep at all... Got a awful sore throat... Like a monster grabbin onto my leg... ARGH... Woke up n slept several times... However, i got lotss of weird deams bout u guys... Hmm... Teh teh, Ying ying, shimin n the others.. Real strange.. Lolx... Hahaz... Kinda orget everything le... Ying ying ah... Now i joined ur boat le... lolx.. Dunno whether I will be fit enuf for Thursdae Band.. Not good to miss the Ah peh practice... Hmm.. Wanted to see him also... Sianz... NY Band ah... Gotta wake up... Nah.... I will be alrite soon... Yeah.. More chicken rice.. hmm... Tastes like chicken.. p.s If u were tryion to contact mi yesterdae, try again todae.. Coz my hp got flooded.. den cannot read all ur msgs.. Heex....

So tired... 3 daes of instrumental playing.... yesterdae so late sleep... lotss of things happenin... i hafen got any excercise.... my butt is stiff now... need to thaw it.... heex.. maplestory... tok sum other dae... goin to slp now... heez...

Woo~hoo!! i'm back.. sorrie bout that ying ying... kinda busy as well as lazy to blog... hahaz... so as to pei zui.. i m back to blog... yeah.. i m back... lolx... Band has made mi given up lotss of chances to work..... i wanted to find but in the end i tot there was no time... ohh well... maybe can accumulate some fats... i m too skinny anyway... hahaz... need to eat bigger... hahaz... band ah band... 80% of my time for band.... Ohh well.... Todae went SHOPPING!!!! Lolx... omg... 3 boys went shoppin... Lolx... ever heard of boys shoppin? well now u do... went Queenstowm to shop for shoes n clothing... lol... walked three hours hesistatin on wat to buy.... ohhh my.... in the end... the onli productive thing i did was to eat one McSpicy Double..... IT WAS DELICIOUS!!! yeah... one hour ride there n back.... so unproductive... .Joked n Joked... so fun... lolx.... ohh ya... bought a ball too..... heez... it was not authentic.... well it looked real at first... den wen we compared...

i m not feelin good... juz not good... these chinese shit is gettin onto my nerves.... ARGH... lolx... hope 5 Nov 11.00p.m come faster... REAL FAST.... sianz...

I seemed to be singin tis song to myself all day long... maybe i should share it... So sianz... I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes (Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone) Every step I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone) I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I've becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly afraid to lose control Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you (Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone) Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone) And every second I waste is mor...

i feel like a failure.... haix... nothing... realli nothing in my mind now.... nothing.... cant slp... no mood.... sad... depressed... i m a failure...... Haiz....

Wat the hell.... I cant take it anymore... I haf been cryin.... hafen stop.... Still cryin... Think this will be the biggest breakdown i will haf... Ohh no.... Todae is one of the worst dae of my life..... I haf a big big quarrel wif my father.... Bloody bloody.... ARGH... I hate it... He doesnt understand mi, didnt even try... N i m thinkin for him always... Wah.... I can juz die.... todae was a terrible dae.... Shimin cried... Due to results... Everyone got poor results... So did I... i mean it isnt poor wen compared to theirs... But nevertheless, I wasnt happy.... WTF.... Sumhow i knew this was wat i haf been expectin.... Tis is shit... I was feelin moody all dae.... Realli... Tessa saw mi... but i dunno how to cheer myself up to make her feel at ease... I juz cant... N my tears are still rolling.... doesnt seem to stop... I had a headache todae, yet i went for PE, PW and the band thing... Wah... Actually, no one realli seems to notice... Got some la... N i appreciate it.. I m reall...

Wah... Finally... Everythin is back to normal.. Or rather sumwat back to normal... Hmm.. Promos ended... Wah.. Yeah... Hmm.. So long nv blog le.. Dunno where to start wif... Nvmz la.. Somehow, life seems a bit messy... Wah.. Think will need a long time to clear up le... Like 'dui bu qi' a few ppl... Coz of exams... Den i like 'bo chap' them.. Aiyo.. Paisei.. I also will stressed one mah.. Haix.. Aiyo.. Hope things can go right again... Now is play time.. Lolx... Heh heh... But still got band... Open House comin up... Wah.. Still got annual concert... Hmm.. Gotta spend time on it... Wah... K la... Dun wanna go on further le.. Tired... Sorrie to u guys... Heez. take carez k? *hugz*

Haiz... Start of the school term... Sianz lotsssssss....... I m still sick... N i hate it wen i m sick.. Lots of things not able to do... ARGH.......... Im feeling real burdened now... Lotss of things pulling mi back... i cant move forward... Its been a long time since i get to face tis kind of situations again.... Sianz.... I haf been troubled by lotss of things for the past few weeks... Nobody noes... Not even min min... Not tat I dun trust her or wat... But is tat i dun wan anyone to be troubled by mi also.. However, todae im writin it out, is coz, I think i m able to cope wif it le... I m able to move on liaoz... Can take off the burdens... Let mi start first lahz... Hm... Let's see... Firstly, is bout my class... 2 teachers haf approached mi... bout the class n myself... Avril Tay n Jeremy Ng... First time in my life haf i been approached by 2 teachers are one go... U muz think it is beli bad rite... But i tell you.. None is about myself... They asked mi to motivate the cla...

Heezz... Todae wil be the one of my happiest time on Earth... OMG... First time recieveid so many gifts... Hahaz... From my sis summore... Heez.. So here is a little thank you.. A dedication page for you all... Heez.. Hmm.. Try to find your name ba.... Hahaz.. First of all, let start wif my grand daughter and 7th sis... Lolz... Hui ling and delphine respectively... Heez.. I didnt expect them to remember my birthdae lahz... To think they remembered.. SO sweet.. Thankz gals... I will "pao" teh, kopi-o, milo or milk wif it.... Lolz... Den will remember u all always... Thankz... *hugz* for delphine onli... Later Danny treat mi as rugby ball.. Den.. OMG.. Lolz... Heez... Next.... Wei Qi and lao gong.... Hahaz... Got a wallet... Thankz... Lolz... Heard it was her lao gong hu paid for it... Aiyo... So paisei.... Lolz... Hahaz... Wish you all en-en-ai-ai... Lolz... Dun sae i bully you lahz.. Where got hor, Ed-de-na? K lahz... Thankz for the gift too... Heez... No hug for you.....

Heez.. Todae I received my birthdae gift from my sisters.... So happy... The excitement was hard to contain... They beli cheeky lolz... Dun wan tell mi wat is it... Den still mislead mi into thinkin tat it was underwear... Lolz.... SO HAPPY.. So I m gonna devote tis entry to my beloved sisters, Ying Ying n Teh-Teh... Hahaz.. To think Ying ying mixed up the dates... Nvmz... Its ok... I was stunned though... In the morning... Lolz... Btw i hafen eat dinner, despite my ferocious hunger... Heez... Wen I saw Ying walkin in wif a weird lookin object I started to felt strange... Summore they were late lolz... So unusual of them to be late.. Den wen Ying saw mi, she quickly turned around n walked like a crab... OMG... I tot wat happened... And the next thing was, a big blue coloured "gong" (container) wif a yellow crumpled paper was passed to my hands... Lolz.. I tot wat was it... Den the first thing i think of is dustbin... Wah lao... Realli looked like lolz.... Heez... But i did...

OMG!!!!!! My whole toe nail dropped off... Due to my old injury... Tat time... Haiz... I was so scared lolz... Wah lao.. Terrifying... OMG... Pls dun step on my leg now... If wan, step on my right leg.... Haiz... Kinda lost now... Haiz... Dun feel like tokin but feel like bloggin.. Todae was a rainy day... Ended up in the library.. Tryin to do work... Sianz... Den band prac.. Noting much to sae... Sianz

Yoyoz... Back... Missed mi... Lolz... Went to do some tupid stuffs den got the blog hanged... Well done Yong Xiang... Lolz... Didnt haf time before to repair it... Neverthelss I got it back... Yeah.. *claps claps* Sianz... Wasted mi so much time... Aiyo... Like a few thousena daes never blog le... Got so many things to sae... Sianz... Nowadaes, got so many ppl feelin moody... Ying ying, teh teh and many others.. Maybe becoz of stress lahz... Den quarrelled wif Seraphine juz now... Dunno y.. I was feelin bad also... Think sorrie was the onli thing I could said den... Sianz... All of a sudden... Seems like many hit by a wave of mood swings... Scary... I dun like it... I didnt ask bout them... But they juz kinda worryin... Hope they are alrite... Juz hope nothing happens to them... Y does Singaporeans go through tis kind of bull-shit? Juz dun get it... OMG.. Look at the time... Sianz... Back to the topic... Yah lolz... SO dumb... Forget it lahz... Dunno wat to do... I m lost, on whether s...

Heez... Tis few daes... Passed quite peacefully lahz... Except a few ghostly encounters.... Hahaz... Scared the wits out of mi.... Hahaz... Lolz... Saw lotss of eerie thingies.... Haiz... Muz go bai bai.... Hahaz... Todae went to celebrate Angeline's birthdae... Although I didnt wanna go at first, but ying ying asked mi to go.... So i dragged min min along... Lolz... Went to J8 and ate Long John Silver.... Hahaz... Den found out tat i coped ying ying's order... Didnt mean it lahz... Hahaz... But it ended up in my stomach anyway... Hahaz.. Den after tat... Went to take neoprints... Hope is the correct spelling... Hahaz.. Almost tore down the machine... Hahaz... Lolz... Shouting and makin a whole lot of noise.. But I like.... So fun... Lolz... While Angeline and Tessa were busy "editin" the photos, and the others all watchin them while producing lots of noise, Jing Chong and I were busily playing wif the curtains behind... We were like shocked, as we cant pull it back u...

Hmm... Got lots of things to sae... Always seems to pop up in my head wen i started to blog.... But after a few points den i forget the rest le... Hahaz... Think tis few daes... Troubled by lotss of things... Sorrie to all the ppl especially Shimin hu were there for mi... And also a big thank you for being there for mi... Heez.... Think i m better now... Dunno y also... Juz now was improvising on my solo piece 'Over the Rainbow'... Added and tried out a few notez... But it still didnt sounded rite... Didnt noe wat was lackin... Hmm.. .Strange yeah...? Hahaz... Den felt sianz... And stopped and went to chat... Heez.... Juz now after sendin min home, I saw a father and his son.... On the bus... The son began like to play... Wif his father of coz... And so a bored mi decided to observe them.... The son was like about 5~6 years old ba... Dunno... But he was cute and innocent anyway.... Asking things around juz like a normal kid.... He played wif his father... Punched him (playfu...

(Dun read tis if u r feeling moody) Haiz... Tiring dae... Dunno y... Be it mentally or physically... Went to play badminton wif my class juz now... Three hours lolz.... Haiz... SO tiring... Hahaz... It was fun lahz.... Todae got back my chem test... Got 12 marks out of 30.... Sumthing awesome nor anything hopeless.... However, it affected mi much more than anyone of the things mentioned... Be it a good or bad grade.... I feel very awkward wen i m like ranked the last few in the test... Haiz... Dunno y... Maybe tat result was wat i realli wanted... But i m not happy... Realli not.... *dilemna* (watever u spell that...)A lot of ppl sae tat i onli tok bout studies and nothing else... But seriously, i think i haf nothing to tok about.... Realli... I cant find anything... Juz noe that i m tired... Maybe i haf alreadi broken down, yet i dunno that... Drifting aimlessly amongst ppl in the midst of the crowd... Awww.... Sianz.... Hmmm... Forget bout tat first... Hmm... Tryin to recall fo...

Todaez was ok... Compared to yesterdae... Haiz.. But the sianz factor is still there... Haiz.. The maths test todae was a complete disppointment..... Minus eleven marks le... Hauz... Due to my studity n wonderful carelessness... Didnt study much lahz... Dun feel like too..... Haiz... Juz feel like hidin beneath my pillow.... Haiz.... Sianz... Todae had an interestin GP lecture.. One of the best too.... On liberalisation.... Sounds cool.... Gif some thought to it yeah...? "Can you handle any freedom that is handed to you.....?" "Whether you cross the line or not, depends on where you draw the line....." "Too much freedom may mean out of control, and even you yourself may not be able to grasp the whole understanding of it.... Its impact and implications....." Disturbing thoughts came to my mind.... Hmm.... Dunno y.. Made mi think of lotsss of things.... Maybe.... Haiz... Forget it lahz... I haf been havin strange dreamz nowadaes..... Dunno y.. ...

Haiz... Another boring dae passed... Everydae seems to be the same lehz... Todae juz got a physics test... Came n went... And i noe the results arent comin out good... Dunno y... Juz cant seem to find the motivation to study.. So sianz.... Haiz.... Think everyone's also feeling the same thing... Hope everything will be alright... Todae is the start of the lunar month.... Shld go pray pray.... Haiz... Fear.... Fear of not able to pass... Fear of not able to continue ur present state of comfort... It is preventin us from concentrating in watever we do... Haiz... Believe in urself... But seems to be losin confidence every moment... Hmm... Realli need time to sit down n think through everything.. need to reflect... But like no time for mi even to study... Dun even sae reflect... Haiz... Hope everyone is feelin alrite... Haiz... Although i noe they r not... Try to hang on k...? Go on guys!!! Heez.... Sianz... Nowadaes... I feel so out of place in my class... So cold.... It has definite...

Sianz... Whole dae at home... Juz flippin through notez.... Haiz... Slept twice during study time... No motivation.. Juz felt like slpin... Muz hang on... Muz learn from Ruth... Life's Good... Haiz... Miss Shimin lotssss.. *hugz* *rub eyes* Back to studies after think of her for a while.. Think I got study lahz... Hope can scrap past tml Physics test... Haiz... *praying hards* OMG.. There is still Maths n Physics SPA... While Ying Ying got free SPA... Wah lao... Maybe goin for a swim next week... Sianz... Now waitin for the time to hit 10 o'clock.. So tat i can tell myself to go slp... Dun wanna think of anything... Maybe tml... ARGH... I think I m like cheatin on myself everyday... Nothing producitve done.... So sianz.... Haiz... Hmm... Juz wat is the thing tat is missing....? *hopin* I CAN DO IT... YOU CAN DO IT... WE CAN DO IT!!! Heez... Hmm... Wat a dae todae... Tryin hard to fly without wings... yeah... Nothing is impossible... At least at tis stage of my life... Hmm... ...

Haiz... Examz nearin... Everyone feelin n actin weird... Maybe stressed up lahz... Next week n it will be a small period of rest.... Haiz... I quite sad... Everyone is so stressed up... Haiz... Why.....? Please be alright k....? *praying hards* Dun think i can do anything.... Take carez k...? Think watever i can provide is moral support... Hang in there guys... Juz a little longer... Juz a little.... Hmm... Some relaxin stuffs ba... I was on the bus wif min... Den i was thirsty.... So she offered mi drinks.... K fine... I opened the cap n tried to drink from it without touchin the tip of the bottle.... Den the bus shoke!!!! Heeez... The water didnt came out... Hahaz... Skilled rite.... den the bus reached a bus~stop n slowed down... Den i started to pour water... N the bus braked.... Well done... Water gushed down my nose.... Nothing to sae... Hahaz... Den everywhere was wet.... But the most impt part tat shldnt be wet is wet... My pants... OMG... So obscene... Haiz... Nevertheless... ...

Unicorns... Creatures of Willpower and Strength.... Everlasting purity rides on them while they skim through endless treads of miseries and hardships... When the night befalls, is the time where they roam the Earth with spirited footsteps, as if they have no worries... They are creatures that brainwash human to protect their identity...

STRESSED... Haiz... Die liaoz... So many many test n examz comin up... Like movies... Wat the.......? Sure die one... 5 tests to go... GP on Saturday, Physics on Monday, Maths on Tuesday, Physics SPA on Wednesday and Chinese AO on Saturday..... Wah.. Still got endless tutorial to do... Jin jie keeps on tellin mi tat there will always be tutorials tat require you to do, so dun ask which one need to do..... Realli speechless... Nothing to coment on... Juz... Die liaoz... Noe everyone also havin the same thing.. Hmm hope u guys are fine.... I hafen even studied yet... And there r so many things to do.. Like cant be finished one... Shld start to revise today or tomorrow.. Later die... No time... Realli no time lolz... Haiz..... STRESSED!!!! The life of a JC student.... Wat the...? Hmm..... Hope everyone is alright.... Heez... Good luckz to everyone for oncomin examz..!!! Best Wishes!!! Wahahaz... =p

Todae was a shitty dae... Wah lao... Wasted my precious time on useless stuffs.... Shld haf kepy quiet all along.... Haiz... Sorrie guys.. To waste ur time... Sianz, now made mi look like the scapegoat... A goondu hu makes a fool of himself... ARGH....... They are so selfish lolz... Never think of others one... Cant they see? The onli obstacle tat is in front of us is the fact tat we cant work together.... No motivation at all... But wat can we do....? Wat the........? Everyone was like so sianz... Thankz guys for backin mi up on the 2 on 1 squabble juz now... It was a battle long lost b4 it was even fought... Haiz... Onli can tok to Ms Yue... Heez... Hahaz... She beli nice lolz... Haiz... Too bad she not around... I dun care wat is happenin now... I will bite at those hu are snobbish.... ARGH!! Hahaz... How to make the band together....? Not beli possible... Haiz... Got so many tests comin up... Dun even haf much time to study... But i hate to tell ppl tat... Coz there will always be ...

Yoyoz... Tml goin for camp le... Not goin to be aroung for 2 n 1/2 daes... Miss mi k...? Hahaz... Looks like everyone has lots of problemz... Hmm... Dunno how will they be wen I m not around....? Haiz... Nvmz lahz.. Juz take carez... Juz need to die over tis period of time.... Den it will be rain after sunshine.... Or izzit the other way round??? It maybe rainin season for ur life now... Soon, the sunshine will come out... Hopez... Heez.. Kkz take carez... Best Wishes!!! Byeez...

Wah... Todae realli a stupid dae.... Feel like dying... Haiz... Maybe will be the end of my reign soon... Haiz... Somehow, realli feel like being the best of the best is nothing great.. Instead, it is havin a negative effect on mi... Haiz... I haf lost all motivation to work... Dunno y.. Maybe coz of the fact tat i haf to go through tis shit again if i get tat stinkin results... Hahz.. Wat a joke.... It s the opposite... Wah lao... I haf realli lost all motivation... Feel so siaz nowadaes... Haiz... Need to get rid of tis thinkin... Haiz... Den... Comes the band... It's like hell nowadaes... Wif sum yr2s back wif us... I dun like them... Coz of their tupid mentality durin first three months... Sianz... Now wif that Angeline, wah... Life is much moer worse.. I would haf quitted band long ago... If not for my responsibilities... Anyway i haf no where to go also... Actually no realli lahz... Haiz... Will realli kill her... In addition, got tat tupid seductive bulldog... Wear the skirt...

Haiz... Yesterdae wrote so much thingy, dun even noe wat is tat myself.... Hahaz.. Todae another sianz dae... Physics SPA... Dumb shit... My whole class was cpmplainin, n the tutor onli said "we understand ur situation"... Haiz... Real tough.. Not to scare those hu hafen taken the practical yet, but realli... My class was stunned.... Hahaz... Gonna burn down the school.... Wahahaz... Jokin lahz... Den straight away after tat went to photocopy sum things.... Den go band le.. No lunch.. Wat the....? Tat Angeline still ask " Have you eaten? You have like.. Umm.. Three and a half minutes!?" Wat on Earth was that for? Haiz... Dumb ppl dunno how to spell dumb... Wanton onli got flour no meat... Got head no brain... Haiz.. Den rehearsal started... And ended... Not much to tok bout also... Hmm.. Think got too much on hands liaoz.... But i finished sum.. So now a bit free... Heez... *phew* Realli needed a breather.... Hahaz... I m fine lahz... Thankz everyone... Take carez ...

Sometimes, many of us feel lost n confused.... Many will think tat life is always hard on them... Haiz... Life's always like tat.... "How to end when there is no beginnin???" Livin in darkness... Followin where others' opinions lead u to.. No mind of our own.... All of us have our problemz... N it nv seems to end... Never...  Y do i haf so many responsibilities to handle......??? Maybe I m born to do tis... Hahaz... Sometimes it leaves us wif no choice but to make a tough decision under dire circumstances... But seldom in tis case, ppl understand... They dun seem to anyway... Coz ppl onli see things from their point of view... It is hard for a person to realli understand sumone, coz man are born to be selfish... However, we juz need tat special little effort to be a little more sensitive to others... Juz a little more.... You r not obliged to do it.... But y not...? No harm also... Neverthelessm, helpin sumone is not sumthing heavenly or noble..... Nor is it rewarding...

10 Things That I Haf in Mind Now:   1) Do finish all my homework which seems impossble to be cleared... 2) Haf Shimin By my Side Always... Heez... 3) Get my form back in soccer... 4) Get my instrumental form back... 5) Get evrything back on track... Other ppl's also.. 6) Go back n visit Montfort Band sumdae... 7) Prove my worth to my dumb relatives... 8) Sleep. 9) Sleep.. 10) Sleep...

ARGH!!!! Hahaz... I juz found out tat i accidentally deleted my whole playlist... Wat the...? Tryin hard to find it back.. Haiz... More truobles for mi... Yesterday went to watch HIHS (Holy Innocents' High School) concert... Obviously u noe i went wif hu.... It was not a bad one.... Except tat the beginnin was kinda boring... Almost fell asleep... Hahaz... Den came the excitin part... Wahahaz... Awake liaoz..... Got Wushu, Dance N quite a lot... Lazy to name... Hahaz... But there was one beli cute part... Got little childrens dressed like angels dancin ballet.... Hahaz... So cute... Heez... Den saw Daneil wif another "Shimin".... Wahahaz... Same name... I tot i no company, eh... He was there tooo... Den we talked a lot... Both Shimin from HIHS band one... Hahaz.. Den both of them go back visit band... Then we boys haf to guai guai follow lolz... Wahahahz... Heez.... Den after tat walked a long distance to a bus stop... Eeeeeeeee.... Beli eerie... Hahaz... Coz beli ulu... ...

Haiz... Todae is a beli disastrous dae.... Even though sumthing good happened... Dumb... Got into Honours roll for gettin good results... Some board where the names of topscorers are placed... But in the end juz got suan... Although they were like jokin, i feel beli beli upset... Wat kind of response is tat....? Not even a word of congrats..... Onli from my few sis... Wat a tupid thing... I rather not want tis kind of "fame"... I jus wanna live an ordinary life.... why...? Feelin so depressed... Sianz... Had to rush through PW... Coz have to hand up file on Fridae... But juz cant seem to finish... Shit.. Haf to go rush through after tis... Den still got so many work to do.... Realli feel like dying... ARGH!!!! Cant breathe... Sianz... Den I juz found out i kept a lot of things from min... Didnt mean it... But i did... I didnt wan her to worry bout mi... Not tat i wan the others to worry bout mi lahz... But... Haiz.... Decided to tell her later... Maybe Tessa n Chong Ying were...

  Haiz... Todae was such a tiring day.... Wif afternoon P.E... Tupid... But i found out tat i can do  4 pull ups le... yeah... Think tat is my onli condolesence for the dae.... Watever u spell tat... Haiz... Got a serious headache todae.... Probably coz tat i turned in quite late last night... On top of tat, i didnt sleep the previous night... Hahaz.. Chatted wif sumone.... Its not her fault though.... Hahaz... Nevertheless it was ok... Hahaz... Den tupid PW comes in... Wah... Juz found out tat i m lost in my PW... Die.. Friday muz hand up GPF... Wat the...? Den todae came back n quarrelled wif my father... Haiz.. Same old problem.... Dumb shit... I realli hope i wun become like him in the future... I muz not be..... Hahaz... K lahz... Juz feelin super tired.... Den wif tat persistin headache which wun go away, i still haf to tabulate the survey results.... Haiz... Wat if i die tml huh?  Wun lahz hor... Hahaz... I cant also.... Heez... K lahz i will be fine...

Woo~~~ long time no see le.... Nv blogged for like....? one month? maybe less... Hu carez.... Anyway i'm back... life's been a little upset for mi.. Wif unexpected happenings.... Wah... Stressed... Heez.... Lately upset coz of the breakup of my sis n bro... very saddenin, n i cant stop thinkin bout it.... sianz... Didnt meant to kept it from my other sis, but like no choice.... I haf to take tis alone... Haiz... Life is juz not turnin out the way for mi.... Den still got so any things in band.... Dumb... Juz as wat Tessa said... Too bad i took up many responsibilites... Now i haf to face it... Haiz... Dunno wat will happen to mi n min also... Heez... I wun let go lahz.... Heez... Hmm.... Juz tat these few daes troubled by problemz..... Sumtimes... Juz wished tat life will be simple... But it isn't... Hahaz... Too bad lolz... I m not a goldfish... So cant idle around in the water waitin to be fed... Heez... Tml got band again.... Gotta see that tupid face.... Wth.... realli ...

Wahh........... Cant believe it.... Tis 2 daes r a test of my patience.... Yesterdae performed to a bunch of monkeys.. Haiz... If u went, maybe u will understand.... hor shimin...? Hahaz... Dun wish to further comment bout it.... Den todae... Gave back test papers... Still alrite lahz... My results... Hahaz.. i also dun worry tat much lahz.... Den our good old angeline asked mi to go prepare for the ensemble n the T-shirt design... I hafen done anything... Think i was too lazy... Furthermore i see no point... No motivation also... Its dead now... We need to liven it up... If not, think ppl will go mad... Jun Long has alreadi gone bonkers.... Haiz... Need to save more ppl... She is so insensitive bout things... I think she is too free lahz.... As if i m like her... Too free.... I m not... Busy dao xiao.... Juz dun understand y ppl juz cant put in a few more effort, n try to be a little understandin n sensitive to others....? Ppl are dumb lahz.... Watever.... My limits are almost up... W...

Wooo~~~ Blackout yesterdae sia..... Stupid shit... Juz wen i was singin so happily... Den..... I tot my singin blew out the lights... Huh?? Hahaz... Anyway... It was rather exciting... U noe... To be wanderin in the dark... At first i tot the terrorists came.. N they were so clever tat they targeted the power station... So tat they can wipe out Singapore... Hahaz... A bit dumb rite? Den i walk out of my flat... To find out tat someone stole my slippers.... Wat the....? Den my toe was injured... Haf to wander around in the dark for my slippers... But in vain... Dumb... To think sumone stole it.... Haiz.... Hahaz... Hougang was one of the last to get back the electric supply... Around 12 midnight... Hahaz... I tried to call my frenz on my hp... Den dunno y cannot get through... Den i found out tat almost everyone else was muggin... Wat the...? Muggin in the dark!? Hahaz... Den i tried wif candles... So warm... In the end cant stand it... Blew it out n lie on the bed.... Hahaz... Den the ...

Tml are the examz!!!!!!!!!! Die!!!!!!! Hahaz... Nvmz lahz... I m mentally prepared... Heez... Haiz... Realli need all the luck i can get... Hahaz... Gd luckz to everyone yeah? Hahaz... Remember to wish mi back also... Sianz.. Life is gonna go back to the old style.... Haiz... School... Y cant the hoildaes continue? Hahaz... Didnt enjoyed enuf.... In addition to the stupid EURO 2004... Damn lame... So stupid... Wasted my time watchin.... My money too.. Heez.... Life is gettin more n more boring.... Sianz.... Hahaz... Take carez everyone!!! Best wishes!!!

My toe still isnt workin fine... Stupid thingy.... N so is min-min's grandma... Hope she gets real well soon, coz she like real sad... I sad also... Haiz... Underlying stress... Sianz 1/2... Performin for Montfiesta, still muz go back to school tml... Dun feel like goin anywhere wif tat dumb toe.... School reopenin, n there will be the examz waitin at the gate for all of us... Wat the...? *-Stressssssssssssed-* Bracin myself for the big challenge... Good luckz to AKG n all... Think we will all need it... Take carez!!! =p

Heart of Gold What is Your Heart REALLY Made of? brought to you by Quizilla

Todae was realli a dumb dae... Got scolded for breakin a stupid noticeboard, although it wasnt mi... Sianz 1/2... Haf to wake up early in the mornin... To see the discipline master... Didnt haf to pay though... But wat greatly agitated mi is tat the one hu was playin wif it ran away... Wat the.....!? Real dumb... Shimin i think u noe hu... Realli feel like punchin the guy up real good.... Haiz... Life's always so unfair.... Den i was real disturbed last nite... Counldnt sleep.... real dumb leh i... Haiz... Den todae, one stupid biker went over my leg. N there goes my whole nail.... Pain like siaoz, haiz... No choice also, haf to bear wif it.... Wat kind of dae is todae? Real suay... Haiz... Must go temple sumdae....

Haiz.... Still very busy even though band ended... Got another camp at montfort.... A bit stupid rite? Hahaz... Dunno y also... Decided to eprform for Montiesta VII after all... Still hafen study much yet... But lucky my other JC frenz goin there to haf a 'study camp'.... Dunno whether it will work... But i tot it will be betta than nothing... Hahaz... I not be at home for the next three daes... Hmmm... Gonna miss lotsa of ppl.... Hope everything goes well... Sumtimes i reali think i overestimated myself, got myself so many extra responsibilties i tot i could handle at first... Now havin second thoughts... Nonoetheless, i will try my best since i haf accepted it.... Too bad n foolish... No choice, life's always like tat for mi....

Hahaz.... Todae had a stupid start in the morning.. Didnt sleep last nite... Watched soccer at frenz house... Den found out tat i was late for my class group study.... Wat the...? Didnt mean it.. Was very tiredz lolz... Almost got banged down by a stupid van while walkin home.... Blurred vision... Haiz... Luckily nothing happened... *Heng* (touch wood) Den met my class at ten... N studied till 12.30.. Den dumbly realised tat i was goin to be late for band... Chong for lunch... Haiz... In the end i still late... Nevertheless.... Life went on... Durin the sectionals, so many irritatin things flyin 'around'... Stupid, cant stop them... *Speechless* In the end i n min min went for a walk... If not i will be bored to death den.... Still tiredz.....Hahaz... Den take 82 wif min min towards punggol end... Den sent her home... Heez... I onli liked the last part of todae.... Hahaz.... Den i suppose the campin thingy is cancelled due to some unforseen circumstances.... Haiz... Heez...

heyy pple! hahaa.first time tryg to blogg here.wonder how this works.same bah i suppose! hehee.guess evrybody's feelg rather down & under the weather.take care k?its nt easy studyg when its the hols.i know it.yupp...hehee.mmm..i want my $ back anyways..im gg broke.(k lar.if yx u want un-add me tt's fine..i'll only be a bit bit sad for a while.)haha..jk.i know im talkg crap.ugh.. *huggs & kisses* -tessa p.s just figured.must have title then can.zzz.

Haiz.... Sianz 1/2... The pressure to study is still on... Juz cant find the mood yet... Juz returned from a "camp" at a hotel... Ate luxurious food, pampered myself for 2 daes... But didnt get much sleep though... N the stupid disappointin soccer match between Portugal n Greece... Even though i won money in bettin Greece win... Drank lotsa alcohol... *burpz* Heez... Hahaz.... Got back home n found out tat there was a new testi by Angeline... Hmmm... Strange... I juz add her n i got a testi almost immediately... Bribin ehh..?? She muz haf felt threathened... I think she wun be affected if she continue normally wif her job... Think AKG isnt tat bad lahz, we dun anyhow 'kill' ppl... Onli tat stupid Seoul Garden freak... Lucky he is outta town... Life's much more peaceful... *phew* Juz found out tat actually i haf a lot of things to do.... But no time for it... *Stressed* Haiz... Now dunno whethr the campin thingy will cont anot... Still gotta study... Hmm... PW also...

Went to do CIP todae at Pertapis Chldrens' home... Tot onli will be an easy job... Didnt noe we haf to do so many other stuffs... The boys had to carry heavy boxes lolz, even though it was onli rite tat we did tat... (phew) Jun Rong was slackin bit by bit, whenever he can... Sianz 1/2... Still got fold cothes lolz, it was a hugh mess, but in the end at least we managed to show sum decent results... By the way, the reward was a calendar... Other than the service hours... Hahaz... After tat, went to watch sunset wif min min... So sweet... Yeahz... (^_^) A lot of funny things happened.... Hahaz.... Realli enjoyed myself... However, back home... Parents quarrelin as usual... Sianz 1/2... Dun worry... They will be alrite.... *Yawnz*

Todae was a tirin dae... Mugged for seven hours.... Den went for six hours mahjong session.... Wat the.....??? Hahaz... the best part of todae was wen i heard tat Montfort military band wanna get help for montfiesta VII.. Dun believe... They werent even happy the last time alumni went back to help... Wat a change.... Looks like things are gettin out of hand there... Hahaz... Depends on whether we r kind enuf tis time... Hmm dun think so... Anyway... Tml band also sianz... Even though without tat loudspeaker, life still sux there... Haiz... Still haf to go back... *yawnz*

Todae was a tiring dae.... Went to do stock check.... Den project work... After tat went for lunch wif CT... Den went for a badminton n soccer match.... Phew... Original plan to study was gone... As usual.... (I will study tml...) Met some of my old frenz.... Was havin quite a happy reunion... Till one POLY guy keep emphasizin on the the number of poly students around... Damn irritatin.... Wat wrong wif JC....??? Are u looked down by others....?? Hmm.. I jus think tat at tis stage, all of us r juz goin on wif our life, juz tat all chose different routes.... In the end... We might juz end up the same place... So doesnt matter.... Coz its my life .... Hahaz.... Nonetheless, tat doesnt bother mi at all... (Sianz 1/2... Still muz study....)Wahahahaz...

Sianz... Wrote a lot of things... Den COM HANG!!! Wat the.....? Nvmz... Write again.... Where was I...? Hahaz.... Was juz sayin bout my myself.... Yah.. Todae was a mess... My family was in a hugh mess... As usual... But the main thing is tat i found out tat the generation gap in my family in gettin bigger... Nowadaes like facin life alone... No support from my dearest... I m not blamin them lahz.... But... Watever.... Den still got so many things for mi to do... Especially aftr the bad posting thingy.... Stupid... On top of tat still got mid year to study for.... *Sianz 1/2* Sumtimes feel so alone n isolated... I realli cried underneath pillows often... Juz feel sad lahz... Feel like breakin down soon enuf.... Wen the time comes.... Hopefully not... I may seem to be a very cheerful n careree person.... But in fact i think a lot, not onli for myself, but of others also, always seemed to haf neverendin troubles..... Haiz... I never tell ppl of my problems in school, but i m used to bein...

Didnt noe will get sumthing like tis.... Was juz playin wif it.... Haiz... itchy hands.... Nevertheless, I m here.... So visit here often will ya? Hahaz....