to a special pig ..thanx for always making me smile. :)

this time two years ago, i was anxious, really quite anxious. still remb going back to our darling blue-pink-beige, meeting gill whom i havent met for very long cos we went to diff schools..dunno why but e most vivid memory i haf of that day was of e time spent wif gill..remb the others were probably walking round e school, visiting classrooms and teachers and all, two of us somehow plopped ourselves down at e bench outside e hall..sat there talking for very very long, or what it seemed as tho was really long. cant remember wat we talked about, maybe jus catching up on our lives in jc e first couple of months? but somehow, even tho i cant remmber wat we talked bout, jus remb very clearly that it was a greatly cherished time.

after that we went into e hall and sat by classes, sat beside gill again while waiting for principal to talk abt our year's performance..even at this time, we were gripping our hands together so tightly, oso dunno for wat but somehow this was jus so comforting :) until palms got sweaty :p hehhe..(hope u dun mind me saying) heh..but nevertheless, was a great exp..till we heard e announcement and i couldnt believe my ears..so well..that's about it. :) thank God for his great blessings.

this time one year ago, i was merely an onlooker as my juniors received their results..all i remember was feeling shocked that time had jus flown by so quickyl and one year had passed..was already in j2 then..something that once seemed so far away and so..old..for me to think about..heh..couldnt believe i was j2 myself..

this time now..facing another hurdle ahead of me..knowing that my father in heaven will lead. excited bout meeting school frens once again in the familiar brown-ish surroundings (heh :p)

scary how time flies..

thinking

was thinking e last couple of days..wat actually is friendship? dunno..jus seems scary how relationships can drift apart quite easily..or maybe i'm jus being oversensitive..hmm..it's not anybody's fault ba...i oso dunno why..jus a thot la..ppl reading this will prob be wondering what big thing happened..but really, it's nothing much..was jus a thot that dwelled on my mind e last couple of days..

on e contrary, am also very very thankful for frens who are haf always been there for me and i know will continue to be there for me..likewise, i hope to be such a friend too? ppl who lent a supporting shoulder when i needed it, provided hugs when it was greatly wanted, and shown concern when it felt like nobody really understood what u were going thru. :)

oh no..this whole entry is starting to sound depressing..but really, it isnt meant to..it's jus smth i've been wanting to blog about for quite long, but always too tired to do so..jus smth i wanted myself to remember that's why i'm bloggin bout it..about appreciating e ppl around us now, cherishing them, cos a few months down e road, things may not be e same anymore?

results are gonna be out in a week plus...thank God that indeed i'm not anxious about e results, and that it's not cos of confidence or anything, but i guess i can truly say i'm past all that? haf accepted e fact that no matter good or bad, i know God fulfils his great plans in HIS own time..and we're jus too small to understand e great plans of his. :) it's true that indeed i'm still worried bout e road ahead, about university plans, where, how, what..these neverending questions...but besides that, wat's important is to keep our focus on Him and Him alone..cos that's what that matters..i hope that i'll never lose sight of HIm no matter what happens..

hmm once again..how i wish blogs can be kinda personal..ha..but anws..it's still good to remind myself of what i had been thinking of a few months back when i read this again a few months later.

will be going for choir pract next week..supposed to go today, but i decided i didnt wanna miss BS cos it's on one of my fav chapters..and called jh she said it still wouldnt be too late..so..next week lors. :)

a song that always never fails to remind me of how big our God is, and all we haf to do is be still and let him lead. :)
When the oceans rise and thunders roar, i will soar with you above e storm; Father you are king over the floods, I will be still, and know YOU are God.

yay had a nice sunday yesterday :D we actually had a class gathering..heh..altho wasnt much.only bout 7 of us eating a simple dinner den they went to play ball, guess it was still meaningful for me cos jus feel that there's no point leaving jc without even any contacts wif fellow classmates..so i agree! we should at e least haf gatherings yearly..
all in all..my sunday started and ended on a nice note :D had a nice time at yyxz today again..glad to haf e opportunity to serve. :)
well den..new week ahead..mus gambatte! :D

had a nice sat yest, tho was too tired to blog bout it last nite.

in e afternoon we had tuan bai, first stop was to visit our house, so e yfers came, and we played some sorta memory game wif our bedroom which brought much laughter to everyone..was fun :) next went to fio's house, there we also played some games, ate, and had fun. :)

after that, while e rest went to jiafa's place for steamboat (so sad :( couldnt join them ) i attempted to find my own way to rui's place for our choir gathering. or supposed j2 gathering, only that 7 turned ppl turned up in total. hehz..tho little, we had fun enjoying each other's presence, eating together, playing e piano (using two pianos and attempting to play duets hehz), singing old school songs, listening to songs, calling peishan to wish her happy burfdae, and most impt of all, jus talking and catching up over dinner. i so wish this can really become a tradition we haf every cny, just like our parents' friends who've been meeting up since jc times till now. well well..by then..we could all bring our own families! and we can watch each other's children grow up!! yay :) so fun.

today at church, felt that message was simple yet insightful. tho it was initially aimed at another incident, e lesson i've learnt is very much applicable to my current situation i guess..about worrying bout e future? where to study, what to study, how it's gonna be like studying..all these future future questions i hate to answer but always pop up before me (esp during cny gatherings when ppl havent seen u for 1 yr and keep thinking you'll forever be sec 4 or smth den gasp at sudden realisation that you're goin to uni soon)

well i guess all i haf to do is jus to stop worryign and to focus on God. maybe i did noe this, jus like everyone usually noes e model answer, but how many of us really believe in it and practise it? many times i noe i should trust, obey and stop worrying, but it's human nature i guess..

time flies and we're already into february..needless to say, the day of e results approaches. frankly, what i am and will be fidgety about is not really e results itself, rather what i'd have to start doing after e results are released. by then, i probably would really have to settle down and ask myself what i really really really want. eeks..something i'm still trying to escape from doing. =/ by then, it's no joke le..really gotta noe wat i want...ah..dun want that time to come...but yet, i think i do need something more solid and tangible to look forward to instead of jus letting each working day pass me by.

i noe i noe..in His time, he knows what's best for us. simply trust.

cny's finally here..supposed to be a happy occasion, but couldnt help but think about e possibility of this being e last cny if i really do go overseas? haiz..sad thinking bout it..this yr oso couldnt help but notice dat everyone's really getting old..grandma and grandaunt and great grandma's healths are kinda failing..not as healthy as they used to be..kinda saddens me to think bout it..well..no matter wat, still very thankful for them in my life.

nice time spent wif a good fren today:) hope we meet up more wif yiwen's back ya fish!
jus got two more conditional offers...surprisingly, not elated or anything...jus made me think more..reunion dinner was nice today :)

wow..jus read frens blogs on their experiences lately..suddenly e world's like so big and we're not so sheltered anymore..dunno but suddenly jus had that thought. yiwen's scary experience alone in far far away america and fish's exciting trip to london...jus makes me xian mu so much.. :) and 4 musicals!! gosh..that's just...wow...great musicals sumore!! cant wait to meet up and catch up...argh...miss everyone. =/

wah..last time i updated was still wed and i was still looking forward to e weekend..now it's over so fast..back to work tml! well..yay cny's coming :) but it'll jus pass us by so quickly and soon it'll jus be back to mundane job duties and a new February..but oh wells. contn to thank God for each and every new day :)

been thinking a lot lately..maybe it's e books i've been reading which kinda inspire thought. maybe it's jus too much free time on my hands at work when i'm waiting for e system to be workable. maybe it's jus a sign of aging. hehz.

just a few more days :)