5th Month!

Hello everybody, I'm back!

Congratulations to me because we've made it past 5 months =) sometimes I find that its very fast, yet so many things have already happened. Hopefully things will start to change for the better because I see some improvement in the both of us already =))

soooo. Picked <3 from work then headed to VivoCity then dabao food and bought tickets to Song Of The Sea at Sentosa. We took the monorail to Sentosa for the very first time, which was pretty cool.. And fast, compared to the bus. So when we dropped off we quickly went to get the tickets for the 8.40pm show which was starting in 15mins. There was a slow moving queue with many families.. Irritating families with kids. Don't bring your kids along dammit!

*PS: Sorry I don't have any visuals. It's too dark. My N73 isn't that all good =(*

So we finally got seated down and there were millions of people seated. Ok, over exaggerating, but for a Wednesday night, it sure was crowded. Thought it would be half of the amount of people there. So we seated early and started munching on our food, realising that this Indian family sat behind us (with kids).

Ok so the show started and the cast of people came out and lip synced everything.... They sang songs from Singapore etc. Then the show finally started. Ok not to say that it sucked or anything? But not everything in the show was worth watching, and if not for the damned Indian mother behind us, the show would have been much better. Ok so the actors were lip syncing, which means all their dialogues were pre-recorded and played on the damned stereo, but this mother repeated every sentence on what they were saying, as if her kids were deaf to anything but her voice. Wise up!

After 5 mins, we couldn't take the torturous repetition any longer and changed seats, thankfully it's free seating. So back to the show, it wasn't that all bad. The lights and water action were pretty nice esp the finale, but the storyline is fairly inadequate. Short fireworks display were done at the end, which caused quite a number of Oohs and Ahhs. But anyway, it's a $6/head ticket for a rough 20mins show showing at 2 timeslots 7.40pm and 8.40pm daily. If need anymore information, do check out Sentosa's website.

So <3 and I then went to sit down someplace to exchange our gifts:


She got me a cup which I have been wanting since before we got together. And it complements the coaster she gave me so well. Btw the cups can be turned, but we took it side by side to show the full pic.


Hees

Okay, time to post the pics which took so long for me to upload:


This is the baby seal I got from Mother Garden for our 4th. There are different clothes for it to wear, but I chose the bunny version. When we checked today, there were newer editions up for sale.


I bought her to school to pass it back to <3 We were at the library, so I wrapped her up in my windbreaker :P


She does this everynight when she sleeps <3


Punishment!


Nah.. Bluff you la. Sayang~

*I love you with every single beat of my heart
and I swear*

Mr Liu!

So today, i met Mr. Liu Yuhong to bid him farewell before he leaves to Shanghai for his Overseas Industrial Attachment Programme for 22weeks. wow, wont be seeing him around already. but then again, not like i'll be able to see many of you during my attachment. oh well, this is life i guess

so, i happened to meet yuhong on the train, den we headed down to CityHall from which we crossed Raffles Hotel and into Purvis Street *note: it was pouring damn heavily =(*

so reason for going to Purvis Street? To hunt for authentic good thai food at 23 First Thai *restaurant name* at this red building. do try it, it's simply fabulous.
Brief info about the restaurant background: It has a lunch hour and dinner hour. If im not wrong, they close at 2pm and start dinner service at 6pm. Dont ask me anymore on that because IDK. This is an authentic thai restaurant, meaning real thai people speaking thai will actually serve and cook the food you eat. Much better than Thai Express and cheaper too. The ambience is quite unique, it's not exactly a restaurant-restaurant, but rather a road side shophouse similar to those Tze Char you find outside. The tables can be seen through, Yuhong claims that it's bought from IKEA. There are pictures of thai people *royal family etc* hung on the walls.

One intriguing thing. During lunch, we were wondering why the staff were sitting down having their meal, and staring into a cupboard next to them. Then Yuhong realised there was a television inside, and they were watching some thai show. lols =)

So then we ordered a couple of dishes and shared them, and boy it was good!


so first up: Pineapple rice. With raisin, sausage and pork floss


Seafood Tom Yum Soup: oh my, fantastic. look at the colour. it isn't reddish, yet the soup packs a punch of spice and sour. prawns are extremely fresh


Prawn Cake: Initially thought it was just an ordinary flour paste with prawn, but boy was i in for a real treat. this is really quite crispy esp when eaten hot. A mayonaise-like dip comes together with it. It doesn't have alot of flour and you can actually taste the prawn!


Fried KangKong: A little to my dismay, we didn't see any sambal kangkong on the menu, so we ordered this. Though it looks like kangkong with sauce, which is really is, it isn't quite as simple as that. the sauce isn't spicy, yet it fills your senses to the brim. Extremely tasteful


Ice Milked Tea: Yuhong told me it is a Must-Try! so we had one each. The taste is really unique? Because it IS TEA, just that i dont know how to put it.It has a weird taste which you would get used to soon. downside is that it is really really sweet. good for those with a sweet-tooth, bad for diabetics.

how could we leave out the desserts?


so... Sticky Rice with Mango: I took this one. Though the sticky rice wasn't as hot as i wanted it to be, but i guess it will still do fine. The rice has some nuts or something, im no expert cuz i know nuts *pun intended*, so when you check on the sticky rice, sometimes you get the crunchy bits. The coconut is really delightful and the mango is sweet! extremely good mango!


Red Ruby: Yuhong's dessert. Bowl full of coconut and ice, yet extremely delicious, i tried it. Red Rubies are the reddish things you see below, which is actually water chestnuts so it's abit chewy/crunchy. The coconut is very very good, but i think you can only got for one bowl, anything more will lead you to a heart attack. Though there's alot of ice that camouflages with the Atap-Chee, they still give a good amount of it. Perhaps 5-6 Atap-Chee for a $3.00 dessert

Total damage for 2: ~$43
So Yuhong my friend, all the best to your future endeavours and your trip to Shanghai. You will be gone for 6 months, so do take care. Remember to look me up when you're back in Singapore, then we can go on food hunts again =) Hope to see you soon

Workplace

me and <3 went to our respective workplaces to check them out. mine's at neil rd, which is at outram there. it's an events mgt company, supposedly reputed, which i wont mention the name here. but i din expect them to locate their office at private housing estate. im not too impressed, and especially worried about the food there.

<3's workplace on the other hand looks so much better. and it was a blessing that it was better than what she had imagined. which is a good thing, and better yet, only 7 horrible weeks. and not 22 weeks.. =(

so we went to bedok central to eat the pizza she has been craving for.. tadaa

the cheese fondue pizza

ok i might not be a critic. but <3 and I both agree that the cheese, is over the top. the cheese fondue is salty, especially so when accompanied with the stuffed cheese crust. so much cheese will actually make you start feeling revolted. the cheese fondue gets cold because it has no flame under it, so you ought to eat it fast or it'll turn warm, and it doesnt taste that great chilled.

and i have a bottle of Corona beer in my fridge, resting for tmr. hope it tastes good =)

Update on my life

Exams are over for me since yesterday. perhaps i'm never having exams ever again for i might be entering a university. hooray! but then again, 5 mths attachment is happening in just a week+ time. oh thats so sad for me

goodness of today: spent it with yiquan and cw. best buds. miss them both. suddenly reminisce the days of yesterday during our outing today. was a day well spent. bringing back painful and wonderful memories of the past. the days when we were trios. so we spent the day mostly hanging ard, talking and perhaps trying to think of a business strategy. who knows? maybe we'll make it big some day.

well.. just maybe

thank you both for today. it was enjoyable. i rmb how much it means to have friends around me since i havent had any/much for awhile now. i hope we can meet up from time to time to catch up, on old days, and the future =)


Books to enjoy:


The Notebook - 3/5 stars for me. boring start, wonderful ending. brought me to tears it did. might give it a shot if you're into love/romance and the touching moments in a relationship. good for people attached because it brings so much emotion in you


A Walk To Remember - 2/5. A fun read. was expecting to tear, especially since reading The Notebook. Apparently, this book brought more fun to me than it did for sorrow. Good read, though it's really light.

Decisions:

I've given you a choice. You will make a decision. I can only hope that you will give the answer that I'm looking forward to, but I'm not pressuring you to. You have to make YOUR decision based on your feelings. Nobody elses. Your decision will bring the future to us, be it closer or further apart because if we do not pass this hurdle, then nothing will.

It was painful saying the things I did. I did not say it out of the whim. I've thought about things, deep and hard. I did not say it on impulse. But you've hurt me, deeply, more than you think you know. And I know I've hurt you, how much, I'll never know... but you do.

This will be a major turning point in our relationship, hopefully for the better. I cannot leave you to think and act the way you do, because it is not fair towards me. You might think I'm forcing you to do this, to make this decision, and that is not fair. But from how I see things, if you do not make a decision, nothing will be fair.

I do not want to make you do this. No. I do not. Especially during this period. I never would have said it if I did not feel so strongly about it. I know I may be arrogant when I say this, but for that day... You cannot think that you are right. There are many many many times, whenever we have issues. It is not because you are the cause of the problem, but the thing is how you handle it. Why do you act the way you do? There are reasons why I feel upset, and so do you. I have to coax you when you are upset, so why don't you try to do the same for me?

Think in my shoes. Empathise. I try to think for you. You say you think for me, but how much? Sometimes I can't help but confide my situation to others and they agree that I have every right to be moody. And when I am moody, it only hurts to feel that I'm not being understood and that you are even angry at me at times. You also know how that feels.

I do not want to start blaming, for both of us have our own faults. We aren't perfect and that is a fact. But show it to me, how much you're willing to do for me. I want to see it. And I don't know if you really do see how much I'm doing for you, but I am, and I'm still trying.

Like I told you, I believe in you, in myself, that we can still make it work. If I had really thrown in the towel, I would not have behaved the way I did, and will not even want to care whatever happens to US. But I still do, and that means something. I've made my decision. I'm just waiting for yours now. Do make the right one.

Until Friday, I will have faith and will continue praying. Whichever decision you make, I will trust that you've thought about it thoroughly. I do NOT want you to start regretting after you've made your decision. So be wise, make the right choice.

I'll be waiting...

Despair

Disclaimer: Read if you want to. Treat it as a story if you have to. Just don't start having opinions on it because it wouldn't be fair to either one.

i am sick and tired. and so are you. what are your expectations of me?

you might be angry at me for doubting, but let me tell you something, i cant help it, with the way things are going, I CAN'T HELP IT but think of our future. because what seemed like a clear picture to me, is now blurry.

you tell me if i wont me able to keep my promises, then dont promise you with the things i say i would. after that incident, i have honoured my words. but tell me honey, what do you think of us right now?

im facing insecurity issues right now, and i bet you are too.

i dont know who's at fault here.

you always tell me how much this relationship means to you and when i start doubting, i start to feel bad because you said you never doubt. but then if this relationship means that much to you, then why arent things working out.

there are so many. just so many things i want to say.

you have no idea what happens to me after i send you off recently

i cry... because i wish we can have back our happy times and i always don't bear to see you leave

yet each time we meet, we have issues and problems with each other. what's that all about? i have a problem with you having a problem with me. vice versa

im tired honey
my baby
my dearest

im sinking
down
under

we've shed too much tears
far far too much
too often
too much emotions spent. wrong ones


it's not supposed to be happening if we're in love

the weight on me
stops me from breathing



this is the exams period. i pray that you do not read this message till your exams are over, but if you do happen to see it, just give ourselves a break and concentrate our studies. the last thing i want to do is to screw up your future



to the people reading this, it would be better if you kept comments to yourselves. this isn't smth i was supposed to share. but i feel so empty you see. no matter how much time we've given ourselves, how much effort we supposedly say we've given, its not working out. i'll keep trying no doubt about it. i'll honour my words to her. but this weight on me is crushing me slowly till one day i collapse. hopefully that day will never come.

and no, she did not betray me. we did not get into a heated argument. we did not start yelling our heads off. i did not slap her or punch her or send her flying to the hospital. i did not violate her.

so what the heck is this all about? i've no fucking idea. if i were to describe it into pure words and put it into a story, you'll probably find it utterly ridiculous to be so upset over all these things. it's not like im having an affair. its not like that at all. yet the simple truth will leave you confused, just as i have, for i dont know what to do

please tell me what to do

i know i love you
you probably know i love you
i do
i try
i try
i try
but sometimes im just so afraid it'll become
i tried

im scolding myself, how can i think this. but when it comes to the matters of the heart, you'll begin to think of everything. you might not feel the same, or might not believe in what i say. but these are my feeling whether you like it or not and my insecurities will always remain. the pressures on me unlifted. notice how often i talk using the "I" perspective? i would gladly like to say im selfish, to think for my own and not caring about how others feel. but i think i've tried to change. in all the situations, i try to think logically. giving the best logical answer. the textbook based answer which was probably written by me... mentally. i put aside my feelings to do so, because i dont want to let my feeling take control of me and hurt our relationship.

i know you've done that too. sometimes you'd sacrifice without me knowing. but it's so hard on us.

i've never cried so often
and so hard
in my 19 years
not during this journal entry
but in other occasions which you might not have known
and i probably din see you when you're down too

there's much i'll like to say. i even thought about writing a novel, on our relationship. or my endless thoughts.








to my best buddy chuanwei. im really glad you and WN worked things out. hope to meet you sometime.. it's been a long while hasnt it?

to my pally sinye, i know you're going through a rough patch and i still rmb our long bitchy chats from long ago, i've not forgotten you though it might seem i have. i wish you all the best with your love live, your school life, and your family life. sometimes i dont know how i'll handle myself if my family was having a circus in the living room.. chaotic

im ending things here as it is. there's not much point telling everybody my problems and making you feel sorry for me... or maybe not... either way, it's not supposed to happen.

my mum walked into the room while im typing this entry, confused at my red eyes leaking tears. she starts to ask why, and i ask her to leave me alone politely. this is the first time though, that she's seen me cry over my relationship, though she still doesnt know it yet.

and if you're confused
this is not Jerold
...
...
...
...

this is Despair

Quick Update

And so, happy birthday singapore. though im late. but then again........ oh nevermind

quick update on my boring and mundane life. Ok i went to cut my hair, so im gonna give a quick low-blow on the salon which i went. thinking that it is time i left kimage, i was fascinated with the cuts at Shunji Matsuo. Many have given good reviews on them, and like the name, they have professional and authentic japanese hairstylists. looking at their website, i was awed with the pictures, though of course these pictures have to be good, but it really is good. i also realised that there's only one Shunji Matsuo while the rest are named ICON, which i presumed must have been their franchise outlets

little did i know what was in stored for me

me and <3 went to ICON, at the Isetan at Wisma Atria and stepped into a fancy looking salon. so i sat down and waited for my stylist. first impression of him was that he didnt seem like one. so yes besides telling me the fact which i already know, that my hair is no straight, he went to give me a sloppy wash and left me sitting on the chair will my hair dripping wet, not bothering to leave the towel with me while he picked up a phonecall. so he came back, not drying my hair, and started to cut it, starting from my nape, which i hate, thinking that most unprofessional stylists do that.

despite telling him that i want to cut my hair short, he advised me to thin it instead, and even with that he couldnt do it well. he kept re-clipping my hair because maybe he just doesnt know what to do with my hair. then we proceeded to having small talk which was pretty laughable but i shall not mention. so the bill came up to a $37, almost the same as Kimage, but heck, there's a vast difference in skill.

I accompanied <3 to cut her hair at Chapter 2, and boy was the professionalism so much higher over there. ok so point to note, cut at SHUNJI MATSUO and not ICON. it costs $60+ but i bet its better than being cheated for half the price.

along the way, we came to this busstop which amused me. it had the estimated arrival time of the buses and even a map of the routes which each of the bus services goes to. pretty interesting. hope singapore can implement it nation-wide.





and on yesterday, we went to study at macdonalds:


her giving the same pose as always


and look, my notes okay! dun pray pray

i bought Clear Shampoo for hairfall control just now at Shop n Save, mainly because im afraid im losing hair. but strangely, whilst reading the instructions behind, i saw this and i decided to take a photo of it. it's hilarious!


click to view it larger to read the fine print.

Freedom from projects!

HOORAY! 3 cheers*infinity !!!!!!!!

projects are finally over on friday. wow. this sem feels like it's so short, mainly because i din get to slack =( wonder if its good or bad. but in anycase, it was horrible, this marketing specialisation. sometimes i wonder what i have gotten out of it. but i'll never know... wow.

so after my presentation, i went with <3 to golden mile complex to feast =) though she din get to eat her japanese set cuz of the amazing long queue, so we made do with something else. then we went to get ourselves some chocolate fondue. wow! it's pretty reasonable. i only costs approx $15 for the set that we had, and we couldn't even finish it!


Chocolate fondue, marshmallow, strawberry, honeydew, banana, grape, green tea gelato, waffle <3


Chocolate dip


*UMMM*


Chocolate grape-ball

the waffles are really nice together with their chocolate dip. and their ice cream is gelato. if you're reading this, you outta go down and try it out for urself. it's at Golden Mile Complex at Lavander. the upper most floor sells army stuff.. so ya..

so now i've got to study for exams. and oh, i'll be going for 5 mths attachment starting 3 Sept, so i won't be seeing you all in school anymore already i guess.. im gonna miss school =(


The Shadow of the Wind

It's an amazing book. i'll prefer this to Harry Potter's 7th book definitely. i rate this 5/5. try to read it sometime k? u'll be spellbound to it =)