The Truth
Dear Readers. You might not like this entry. but hey, curiosity killed the cat. and it could be you. give it a try. it would be helpful if comments against me will not be made, because afterall, this entry is just what im feeling at the moment. just know that im only an ordinary guy. Don't expect me to be a saint, cuz you know the truth.
I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm tired. And so are you. I don't know how much longer i can keep up with this Mr Goody-two-shoes until the devil is released from me. i know i havent seen ur ugly side, but you've not even come close to half of mine. im a real terror. just hope that doesnt happen
you know last time i had pushed alot of things to myself? it's because i got sick of it. like why isit everytime the blame gets somehow shifted to me. it's supposed to be the BOTH of us. as much as i would like to blame it all on you, i also know that it can never be totally be one person's fault. yet sometimes it infuriates me the way you put things together and make it sound like im the guy in the devil jumpsuit.
even if you say you dont mean it that way
but come on. i can say the things you say. and i can say it a 100 times worse. but the thing is, i dont. there might be many mean things you think i have said. but it's all due to spite. and i'm already controlling the words used.
I've changed. for the worse. never in my life have i felt the urge to beat a cat just to make something suffer. and dont get me wrong readers, i've not done it. the word here is NOT
so it's abt 3am now. and im not sleeping. and it's because a million thoughts are running into head right now
i might not know all the sacrifices that you've made. but neither do you
guys ARE supposed to be insensitive by nature. it is quite sad that i am not fated enough to be such an ordinary guy. im more of a wimp, so too bad for me. im fucking sensitive even if you dont think i am. but think abt me, how far do you know what im actually thinking? so far all the assumptions i have made on you are generally correct. this goes to show i am actually aware of it as much as it may seem that im not. but if i were to ask you, you wouldnt have much of a clue
sorry if this post offends you. you might not be used to this but hey, like the title says. this is the truth. and im restraining certain issues and language used because i know im going to regret it for the rest of my life. but yet at the same time if i do not say how i feel, i think my feelings will never reach out to you, and im going to self implode. you can bury me with my splattered body parts. or if you think it's too filthy, then you can leave them on the wall.
the fact that im telling u i will regret it, means that you are still impt to me regardless of what i say or do. but i am no saint. i am no monk. i am not benevolent or whatever that is holy. this is me. stripped.
thing is. i'm not totally stripped. im far worse than this
right now in our r/s?
happiness > sorrow
it is still worth it... for me. and im hoping it stays that way. the day that sorrow > happiness comes, would be the day i have lost faith in myself and in you.
Your sms got me crying
you know you mean the world to me.. dont you?
I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm tired. And so are you. I don't know how much longer i can keep up with this Mr Goody-two-shoes until the devil is released from me. i know i havent seen ur ugly side, but you've not even come close to half of mine. im a real terror. just hope that doesnt happen
you know last time i had pushed alot of things to myself? it's because i got sick of it. like why isit everytime the blame gets somehow shifted to me. it's supposed to be the BOTH of us. as much as i would like to blame it all on you, i also know that it can never be totally be one person's fault. yet sometimes it infuriates me the way you put things together and make it sound like im the guy in the devil jumpsuit.
even if you say you dont mean it that way
but come on. i can say the things you say. and i can say it a 100 times worse. but the thing is, i dont. there might be many mean things you think i have said. but it's all due to spite. and i'm already controlling the words used.
I've changed. for the worse. never in my life have i felt the urge to beat a cat just to make something suffer. and dont get me wrong readers, i've not done it. the word here is NOT
so it's abt 3am now. and im not sleeping. and it's because a million thoughts are running into head right now
i might not know all the sacrifices that you've made. but neither do you
guys ARE supposed to be insensitive by nature. it is quite sad that i am not fated enough to be such an ordinary guy. im more of a wimp, so too bad for me. im fucking sensitive even if you dont think i am. but think abt me, how far do you know what im actually thinking? so far all the assumptions i have made on you are generally correct. this goes to show i am actually aware of it as much as it may seem that im not. but if i were to ask you, you wouldnt have much of a clue
sorry if this post offends you. you might not be used to this but hey, like the title says. this is the truth. and im restraining certain issues and language used because i know im going to regret it for the rest of my life. but yet at the same time if i do not say how i feel, i think my feelings will never reach out to you, and im going to self implode. you can bury me with my splattered body parts. or if you think it's too filthy, then you can leave them on the wall.
the fact that im telling u i will regret it, means that you are still impt to me regardless of what i say or do. but i am no saint. i am no monk. i am not benevolent or whatever that is holy. this is me. stripped.
thing is. i'm not totally stripped. im far worse than this
right now in our r/s?
happiness > sorrow
it is still worth it... for me. and im hoping it stays that way. the day that sorrow > happiness comes, would be the day i have lost faith in myself and in you.
Your sms got me crying
you know you mean the world to me.. dont you?
scribbled by xlambda @ 2:42 AM
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