Grimdark potato men of the apocalypse

  My last post was in October. This will not do.

  I included the above as my hobby activity tailed off rather dramatically at the end of last year. The whole year, well specifically from may onwards was what can only really be described as shite, a bag of to be precise.

That's the one.

  It began with Sprinkling 2: son of Sprinks tourettes symptoms going utterly Tonto overnight, cue one manic phonecall from her indoors and a mad rush home to help and the tone for the rest of the year (and as it seems the foreseeable) was set. Dealing with the emotional fall out, the British medical system, the schooling system and working full time has rather taken a toll on the family that has made toy bothering rather less of a priority. However...

  It is also a very welcome distraction in all this and I haven't been totally away from the brushes. I have been daubing around the periphery of a 10mm ancient British force as well as trying to pluck up the motivation to start my 10mm halfling drug cartel for fantastic battles (it's a good idea, honest!). But recently my head has been very much turned in a more... vegetably direction:

 It's a game of Napoleonic post apocalyptic warfare on a proper grimdark setting...with vegetables. If that doesn't hook you nothing will!. You can download the rules for free here (Turnip28 rulebook). And I encourage you to do so. The game has a very small model count and troops are made by kitbashing any bits you fancy up to and including from the Napoleonic period. Crossed with veg. (Read the rules, it makes sense honest).

 I ordered a few sprues from the bay of E and set to knocking up a few bits and bobs:

 The first members of the 14th East Splaffington irregulars, aka the Spud-U-likes.

  I took my inspiration from the idea of seed potato roots sprouting from my troopers, hence the thick 'eyes' on them.

A unit of Brutes, big, dumb close combat thugs, as in the setting everything is run down and broken I decided they would fix melee weapons to old muskets with rope and roots, however being a bit slow they would just bung another layer on when things got loose hence the 'birds nest' type fixings.

  A force is led by a toff and his toadies, above are my toadies all riddled with roots and mucked up good.

I have gotten rather into this so have two more units ready for priming. More of these soon.

Anyway that's all there is to report for the moment, hopefully this year will see a bit more hobby activity but my breath is yet to be held!.

...'till next time...

Command bases

  Having given Fantastic Battles a go and having come to the conclusion they are pretty darn good I decided to paint up some command bases for my multi-based forces that up until now had none. Commanders are really important in the game, the loss of them can pretty much doom your army to nuckleheaded movement and sad, sad (and kind of funny) defeat. I intend the commanders to be used for my 10mm fantasy forces.

 

First up are the commanders for the Iron Badgers mercenary company  

 

General Welchingtonne, leader and founder of the (in) famous Iron Badgers. The 3rd son of the Earl of Welchingtonne, he is a born soldier and leader with very little patience for anyone he considers below his station.

 Brother Glover, the company record keeper, padre and magic user. He never intended to join a military unit of any type, he just woke up one day in a tent belonging to the Iron Badgers after a legendary 5 week bender and has no idea how to get home. He's not even a priest, he was just wearing the cassock when he awoke. His real names Gavin...he thinks.

Captain Spalcher is the Generals right hand man and the company 'beating a man half to death for no particular reason' champion. By a country bloody mile. He is a naturally cold, hard man who has found his true vacation and plans to stick to it.

  Sargent Gifford Tappitsworth is best known for his calm, encouraging leadership style and easy manner on the battlefield. Often he can be heard geeing up the troops with phrases like 'oh come on lads, we're only outnumbered 6 to 1, we've had worse', or ' Don't just stand there, the gigantic and very angry fire breathing dragon won't kill itself, get stuck in!'. The rank and file think they like him...

  I also painted some commanders for the press ganged troops of the towns on the border of the wastes which have now been taken over by the Badgers.

Mayor Duckett, leader of the town of Wayward-Nowhere, the largest settlement bordering the wastes  He is a stickler for detail in all folk he deals with, even if he does often have half his breakfast down his breastplate.

Sargent Digby 'red fury' Dibbleswort, scourge of the wastes, or so he tells everyone. Basically he has a bit of a temper and thinks it's some kind of virtue.

  Corporal 'tally ho' Wilkinson, currently in command of the border town of Spillin-Over (population 76). Has a can do attitude and can't get on with those that don't. He tends to lead from the front, normally because most of the lads know they can push him out ahead to attract arrows.

  Sheriff 'Sparrow Hawk' Callhoon, Meanest lawman in the wastes. Known for being hard but fair. I.e. he always works hard to prove his targets guilt once he's decapitated them. In fact it was his creative police work that got him transferred to Wayward-Nowhere in the first place.

  I thought it would be an idea to do some for the Badgers current opposition and scourge of the wastes The Bastard Sons of the most black'ed Crow

  Ol' Papa Crow is the devious patriarch of the Crows, ruling over his extended brood with an iron fist.

 Big Bear Crow, current bearer of the Crows whistling totem known as the 'dinner bell'. He is the largest of the gang, it has been rumoured he ate a whole Ogre in one sitting , making him a legendary figure among his peers.

'Dirty' Ma Crow, witch of the wastes. Ma is not really a member of the Crows, although she is believed to be the mother of more than a few of them. She lives away from the Crows, traveling where ever her gut takes her to sell her various cure all's and potions to travellers and outlaws she encounters. She also serves as Papa Crows eyes and ears in the wastes,  settlers that get a visit from Ma can expect the Crows to not be far behind.

  The black Weasel, outlaw, outcast and all round git. the man known only as The Black Weasel has been exiled to the wastes for years. He was Chased to Wayward-Nowhere after he pushed his luck too far in proper society and was chased from there by Sheriff Callhoon shortly after. He was found half dead and definitely mad by the Crows and was spared the pot as he convinced Papa he has inside knowledge of the border towns that could prove useful... 

...'till next time...

Iron Badgers?

 To the most honourable general Welchingtonne, 

    Sir, I have recently made the most favourable acquisition and request the services of your good self and your company in its recovery and subjection.

  You have no doubt come to hear of my good fortune at the card table, besting lord Carpingshire and lord Fossdirte in a hand of slippery fist to the tune of ten thousand gold marks apiece, however also humbled in said hand was that most lackwitted fool lord Stribblessorth, who upon learning my victory was too rich for his like was forced to hand over his claim on his remaining lands north of the upper marches. I am now soul owner of the last uncharted realm!. 

 Towhitt I wish to employ you to sail to Friggit bay at all haste with as many men at arms as you can muster with a firm view to claiming and subduing my new lands. The men (such as they are) of Stribblessorths' former holdings will provide support with lodgings, supplies and some leve troops for you to add to your ranks and use as you see fit. And pay no heed to their tales of giants, ghosts, goblins and the like, such stories of the wastes may dupe the peasantry but men of Valor such as us will not mess our gussets at the likes. 

  What say you sir?, Adventure and a great deal of coin awaits you upon your acceptance.

Lord P.D. Crimpletoppe esq.

P.s. those limp wristed dribble mouthed quill jockeys of the royal cartographers guild wish to send a team to map the lands as part of your force. The King's behind them as ever so try to keep them alive there's a good chap.

    The above letter was recovered from the Welchingtonne estate, sent to the famous mercenary General Armando 'rabid hamster' Welchingtonne, leader of the much feared Iron Badgers, the meanest licensed sell sword company of their age.  

The Iron Badgers in all their glory.

The Iron Badgers latest new fangled contraptions...TANKS!!!

They are 15mm Da Vinci tanks from Alternative Armies. I think they scale well with 10mm troops. 

The 'lands north of the upper marshes' referred to in the letter are believed to be the area known as the northern wastes, the last unconquered 'wild lands' within the realm's of King Fiddius the 14th, who's deeds would be passed around for a price between the lesser nobility. Many lords attempted to subdue the lands but none returned alive, the people's living on the boarders claiming that the 'devils and monsters' within would have done for them. No attempts had been made for many a year before this letter was sent.

 'Volunteer' troopers of the upper marches, now under the rule of Lord Crimpletoppe.

   So hopefully I will be using the above as the basis for some honest to goodness fantasy campaigning. I reckon I can collect and paint forces while the Iron Badgers attempt to subdue the ones already sorted in a series of games. However my gaming area has been invaded by one of The Amazing Mrs Sprinks' latest projects:

She assures me she's planning to turn it into a cupboard... however I think she may be trying to tell me something!.

...till next time...

  

Bag o' Bastards

 

Just a little ditty to set the tone

  

  Well it has to be said that things have been interesting here at chez Sprinks to say the least. Sprinklings 2: Son of Sprinks and 3: The Revenge have seen a huge spike in their Tourettes symptoms, so much so that both now hit, kick, throw and swear compulsively and in the case of Sprinkling 2 have tics in their legs that mean they require a wheelchair most of the time. To top that off the amazing Mrs Sprinks is having considerable back troubles meaning she is also struggling to get about. However we are muddling through and the kids are taking it in stride as much as possible so it could be worse.

But on the bright side I have finished my 10mm not Mongol army I mentioned Here.  It seems like a trivial thing with everything else going on but it's been surprising just what a great refuge a few hours hobby time can be 

The Bastard sons of the most black'ed Crow ride out to commit some form of dickishness or other!.

  They are a much feared gang of inbread raiders, excelling in ambushing and riding down trader caravans, trafficking contraband, raiding isolated settlements and providing mercenaries for anyone that needs them (and can stomach having them around). They are expert scavengers motivated to feed their greatest and grossest habit, that being the consumption of human flesh which takes on the center of their disgusting religious customs. The Sons are one of many such groups across the wastes that form an uneasy network to swap information and trade stolen goods and captives. When threatened the groups band together for mutual protection and can form an impressive and powerful army...if they can work together long enough.

My basic idea for the theme of the army was basically a medieval fantasy version of the classic American biker gang, but if they were cannibal rednecks. Sort of Sons of Anarchy meets Sawney Bean with a hint of Deliverance and the hills have eyes chucked onto the mix.

The latest additions:

2 units of veterans, mixed Lance and bow to follow the Mongol list I'm using as a base for the army.

The army's nobles. Heads of the extended family that is the Bastard sons.

 A couple of wasteland great eagles raised and trained from chicks by the sons. Most people think these creatures are noble and majestic beasts, however all dwellers of the wastes know them to be pricks. The eagles are used by the Sons for scouting and tracking potential pray.

 These eagles came from a job lot of painted bits off of evilbay, I just based them.

The army is now in a playable condition, I do have extra units of light and veteran horse waiting for paint but I have the required 8 units so I'm calling them done for now.

A Burgundian force attempts not to be eaten by horse riding wasteland loonies.

 If you are wondering why the pictures have an odd black shadow in the bottom corner it's because it turns out I can't be trusted to keep a phone in one piece!.  My device took a nose dive while I was completing some basic household chores and the screen and camera lenses seem to have lost a few hit points in the process. Hopefully I will have it sorted by my next post.

...'till next time...

Q) When's a Mongol not a Mongol?

  A) When he's a Bastard son of the most black'ed Crow.

Simple really.

 I feel I should clarify. Having finished my 10mm Swiss and Burgundian Ordonnance armies i fancied putting together another force, mainly to give the Swiss steamroller a challenge. So looking through Ancient and Medieval wargaming by Neil Thomas to search for suitable opposition I stumbled soon the Mongol list. Loads of missile horse and nippy lads to stretch the Swiss line and evade their doubleduppikeblocksofdeath However, the spirit of historical accuracy reared its head and I must admit to being pretty sure the forces never actually met (I could be wrong but the map of the world would point to it being unlikely). However I really wanted a speedy force of horse botherers. So the answer seemed simple. Invent a fantasy army!.

Introducing the first batch of units for the Bastard sons of the most black'ed Crow.

I planned to collect some fantasy forces in 10mm eventually so why not build one using the Mongol list as a base?. In my head they are a mash up of modern bikers, waste land barbarians and backwards rednecks. One of many tribes (or are they extended family?) that infest the wastes running contraband, raiding isolated farmsteads, protecting their 'turf' and engaging in all other brands of banditry. 

They are pendraken sarmatians painted with modern day biker gangers in mind, hence the attempt at black leather waist coats and blue jeans on all the models. I painted the bows and banner poles red to contrast the brown horses and also as a nod to early 90's G.W., I've decided the tribe use the natural materials of the wastes so carry bitchwood weapons.

 Another reason I wanted to do an all mounted force is because I have an aversion to painting horses, so doing an army full should be a suitable 'kill or cure' remedy for my issue!. I just need to work out what I'm doing for banners and I should be able to crack on.

 Also I was looking through some old miniatures and came across my 12mm kallistra Medieval armies, which were one of the first painting projects I completed a few years back. I plan to use them to build some retinues for an upcoming project. So I decided to strip and repaint a few to see how they clean up.

 I painted a few horsemen and decided to compare them with some of my earlier attempts.

Hopefully you can tell which ones I have just painted!. The point of this I suppose is that although I'm an averageatbest painter I was surprised how much progress I have made in terms of my painting style and general standard of my attempts. It's easy to feel like you aren't getting anywhere but by comparing these paint jobs I can see I have improved and be pleased with the progress I have managed. Give it a go, you will surprise yourself.

'till next time...

Swiss army done...for now

  Having painted the last of my pike units  I finally managed to finish painting my 10mm Swiss army. 

This lot.

This unit brings the force up to seven units. The rules I am using requires army's to be eight strong (Ancient and Medieval wargaming by Neil Thomas), however the Swiss have been so good at stomping the opposition even when understrength I think another unit would be a tad too much. I have a unit of hand gunners to make up the full force but they can wait for now.

In the rules the Swiss are allowed to double up their units of pikemen so I kept this in mind when basing the units. Here's the above unit combined with a unit I put together to be their rear ranks.

  So that's another project done and (almost) dusted. Cue the whole army photo.

'till next time...

Burgundian Ordonnance army done

  I managed a final push this afternoon to finish off the last two units for my 10mm Burgundian force. 

These two. These Gendarmes should finally give the army the punch they have been lacking. And with them done the army is now complete. Yay!. Here are some gratuitous army shots to show them off:

Repelling the Swiss!.

Speaking of finishing armies I only have a couple more units to do and the Swiss will also be done, then it's back to the greatest dilemma a Wargamer can ever wrestle with...What project do I do next?...I may have a couple of ideas...

...'till next time...

Even more pike!.

 Hi all, work continues on my 15th century Swiss, I have managed to get two more units of pikemen painted.

Two more done.

  As ever all the miniatures are 10mm Pendraken. In the rules they are based for (Ancient and medieval wargaming by Neil Thomas) all units are made up of four bases, however the Swiss are allowed to combine two units into one big eight base steamroller. I have deliberately based the pike units with this in mind to hopefully give the impression of a large mass of troops rather than two units bunged together.

 I have also bunged some extra banners on my completed units to make them look spiffy.

Just one more unit of pike to finish then a unit of hand gunners and the Swiss will be done...

...'till next time...

More late medieval tomfoolery

  I had a few pre-easter days off so managed to paint another Swiss pike block (and almost finished a second) in between watching far too much Trailer Park Boys, I even got another test game of this in:

 I decided to roughly link it to my last game, the plan being to play a very loose narrative campaign as I paint more units. In the last game the Swiss frankly mullered the Burgundians so this time I decided to put some slightly larger forces on the table to play a game where a hastily deployed Burgundian force have been tasked with slowing the Swiss advance to allow the main army to properly prepare to meet them. To that end a battlefield was prepared:

A field of battle, somewhere over the Burgundian border.  

 The basic idea was for the Burgundians to deploy on/ near the hill in the top of the picture, the Swiss would deploy opposite and must have more units over half strength than the opposition on the hill by the end of turn 5.

  Burgundians prepare to receive the Swiss (all minis are 10mm Pendraken).

Swiss pike form a strong center ( in the rules Swiss pike can 'double up' to create massive units).

Crossbows deployed on the hill on the Swiss left.

The final unit of pike march along the road on the right.

The battle begins with the Swiss advancing under heavy missile and artillery fire.

The Burgundians prepare to unleash another volley...

...Badly as it turned out!.

The Artillery take a heavy toll on the opposition as the Swiss close.

On the road the forces finally clash.

Which goes badly for the Burgundians.

In the centre the Swiss steamroller the Burgundian pike at the foot of the hill.

On the road the Swiss brush the opposing enemy aside and continue on.

The view from the Burgundian lines.

The final assault on the hill begins.

With just the archers left the Swiss move to the foot of the hill but it's too late!. The game ends with one unit each on the hill so a (very) narrow victory for the Burgundians!. They have done what they were ordered to do and slowed the Swiss enough to allow for a proper defence to be organised... although they would not live to see it.

The final positions at the end of the game.

Hopefully I will have some more painted units to show off soon meaning I will have an excuse for another game!. Yay!....

...'till next time...