Outdoor Adventures: Family History - Graveyard Visit by Erin Uda

(Click HERE for image source)

This week we’re visiting a GRAVEYARD. A bit creepy, I know, but I thought it would be appropriate for the Halloween season.

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Most graveyards are peaceful, and have beautiful, artistic elements incorporated into the headstones or markers. And some, especially those that are older, feel more like cities than fields. The sepulchers look like houses, and entire families are buried there. Others, like the military graveyard in Arlington, have rows and rows of crosses or stars representing the vast number of soldiers who gave their lives for our freedom.

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Be sure to do some research before you go, so you choose an appropriate site. You can visit THIS slightly morbid, but incredibly interesting site to find graveyards nearby with famous (or slightly famous) residents. For instance, I learned that the man who invented disposable diapers is buried in the Provo, UT Cemetery!

If you have relatives buried nearby, make a special effort to visit their graves. Spend some time talking to your child about family and ancestors. Tell her about your family when you were little, and about a relative whom you loved and has since passed on. Has your child experienced loss yet? If so, this might be a good time to talk about it. If you like, leave a flower or other token on their grave before you go.

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If you don’t have family nearby, do your best to visit the oldest graveyard in your area. Look at the markers and headstones and try to discover something about the people there. Talk about how the world was different when they were alive and what their lives may have been like when they were little.

If it’s a nice day, take a picnic with you. Enjoy your meal in a beautiful, peaceful spot.

Graveyards are quiet places that allow us to see life from a different perspective. While you’re there, take a few minutes to sit and think about the things you want to accomplish in your life. How do you want to be remembered when you’re gone?

Activity- find the following:

• A bench
• Someone who was over 75 years old
• Someone who was less than 5 years old
• Someone born before 1900
• A famous person
• A picture or statue of an angel
• A very old tree
• Someone with the same first name
• Someone you’re related to (if possible)
• A poem

When you get home, try a few activities that focus on your family’s history.

Go through your family photos. Talk about each person in your family with your child and try to learn something new about them. Talk about where your ancestors lived and what things they would have done when they were younger.

If you have old family records or journals, read a few excerpts or act out a story you find.

Create a family tree. You can do this in so many fun, crafty ways. To make the standard version, write your child’s name on the left side of your paper; to the right make a sideways V with the open side facing away from the name. Now write the parents’ names, one at each point of the V. Continue to write names until you’re stumped.

If you have a lot of pictures of family members, try making a family collage in the general shape of a tree. Or just put them together in a book from the youngest to the oldest, grouped by families.

(Click HERE for image source)

If you live close enough to your relatives, try a thumbprint tree. It’s so cute to see everyone’s green thumbprints look like leaves at the ends of the branches. Click THIS link for a template.

If you’re interested in finding more names for your family tree, you can download FREE Personal
Ancestry File (PAF) software at THIS LINK. They also have a ton of ideas for finding more family names.

Recommended Reading:

• The Kids’ Family Tree Book, Caroline Leavitt
• Fancy Nancy: My Family History, Jane O’Connor
• Me and My Family Tree, Joan Sweeney
• Evie Finds Her Family Tree, Ashley B. Ransburg 

Guest Post on Self Esteem: By Becca Rigg

Because my busy little girls FINALLY went down for a nap, I want to share this incredible and insightful guest post with you that was written by my sister Becca. This is something I recommend ANY woman to read, no matter what stage she is in life! Enjoy!

Daughters of a Heavenly King

Talk by Becca Rigg

Given at the Nashua Stake Relief Society Fireside May 15, 2011

Good Evening Sisters. Since I don’t know many of you I thought it would be appropriate to start out with a little introduction.

My name is Becca Rigg. I grew up in Provo, Utah and met the man of my dreams at BYU. We have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 beautiful children ages, 5, 2 and a half, and 4 months old.

Camden is the baby, He is a thumbsucker and big time drooler. He has some impressive chunky rolls on his arms and thighs and loves to coo and drink milk.
Brinley is the middle child and she's a major goofball. She has always been the smiliest, happiest little person, and loves making the whole family laugh.
Teya is the oldest. She relishes her role as big sister and loves to hold, squeeze, and snuggle Mr. Chub. She is really into rules, following rules, and making sure everyone else around her is following the rules too. Teya is also a very positive and upbeat little person.

Last year we moved our family from Minnesota to New Hampshire. To help Teya feel more excited about the move we told her that we were moving to a bigger house with a lot more space and promised she was really going to love it. The time came to begin our trek out East. It took us a couple days to drive and on the first night we stopped at a Motel 6 to stay the night.

When Teya walked into our tiny room with bare white walls and nothing more than a battered old bed with brown blankets, she covered her mouth in disbelief. Her eyes went wide with excitement and she exclaimed “Mom! our new house is so BEAUTIFUL!! You were right, I love EVERYTHING about it!!

How many people would walk into a Motel 6 room and think it was the most beautiful house ever? Teya did, because in her innocence she still has the ability to see the good in everything. She didn't walk into that room and start searching for everything that was wrong with it. She didn’t compare it to other rooms or houses she had seen. She was looking for a place to stay and this was perfect.There was a bed and a bathroom and a TV and in that moment she was happy, in fact, thrilled with what she had.

Tonight I want to talk about seeing the good in ourselves. You might feel like a motel 6, you might feel like a 5 star resort. It doesn’t matter. You are a daughter of God with infinite potential, and more than anything, he wants us to realize our great worth.

In seeking inspiration for this talk, I reached out to friends through Facebook and my blog, looking for insights on what other’s do to help them overcome feelings of self doubt or inadequacy. I got many wonderful responses with inspiring ideas and tonight I want to share 10 lessons and key insights I learned from their responses that will help us build confidence and remember our great worth.

Lesson number 1: Remember who you are:

I asked, “What do you do to help you overcome feelings of insecurity or self doubt”. My friend Jessica from Minnesota said,

I am a child of God. Knowing who we are changes everything doesn’t it? Lately my daughters have been obsessed with the movie Tangled, which is Disney's take on Rapunzel. Rapunzel lives in a tower where she is forbidden to leave. Madame Goethel feeds her lies so she feels afraid and doubts in her ability to face the world on her own.
But there is a wonderful scene in the movie where it dawns on her that she is the lost princess, the daughter of a king. Knowing that changes everything. She stands taller, and with new confidence faces Madame Goethel, confronts her about the lies, and decides she doesn’t have to live like that or believe those lies anymore. She is so empowered, and we should be too. We are literal princesses, daughters of a Heavenly King. When the adversary whispers lies to us, trying to keep us trapped in towers of insecurity, we should stand tall and say like Moses, “Who art thou? For behold, I am a (daughter) of God”. How limitless is our potential? How can we see ourselves as anything less than incredible when we know where we came from?
Lesson number 2: Stop looking to the world for validation. It’s like looking into a circus mirror, or for the more tech savvy, photo booth.
You look in the camera and it twists reality out of proportion and the image you get back is not real. I promise, Taber really doesn’t look like that, not that I wouldn’t still love him even if he did. ; )

When we look to the world for approval it’s like looking into one of these crazy cameras. We see magazines with airbrushed celebrities and advertisements showing the perfect family, the perfect wife, the perfect woman. The danger comes when we let ourselves believe that the images are real.

What the media portrays as beauty isn’t real, nor is it a valid standard for our self worth. Heavenly Father didn’t send us to earth with a body guideline manual with measurements of how we should look. (I recently heard a teenage girl say, “My forehead is too big for my face”...says who? Show me where it says your forehead has to measure a specific amount of inches for you to be beautiful!) And yet, we believe when we see images in the media that because we don’t fit that, something is wrong with us. We need to stop looking to the world and feeling like we don’t measure up, but rather look up to our Heavenly Father and see how we are reflected in His eyes.

Lesson number 3: Remember there’s more to your worth than physical beauty.

The other day I was watching The Swan Princess with Teya and a scene in the movie REALLY caught my attention and got me thinking. There's a prince see, and he is betrothed to this princess but he never gives her the time of day when she's younger and an "ugly duckling." Then she grows up and is gorgeous and as soon as he lays eyes on her he tells the king to arrange their marriage. Well the princess is a smart girl and she asks, "Why do you want to marry me?" And here's where it caught my attention. The prince answers, "Because, you're BEAUTIFUL!" And she says, "What else?" And the prince looks really confused and says, "What else is there?"

I was so disturbed by that as a mother and a woman. That’s what the world wants to teach us. After beauty (vanity) what else is there?

What else is there?" I can think of a few things right now: There is kindness, gentleness, hard work, dependability, forgiveness, humility, generosity, graciousness, wisdom, warmth, caring, sacrifice, service, knowledge, faith and love. Those are the qualities of some of the most gorgeous and beautiful women I know. Those women might not ever make it on the cover of a fashion magazine, but they are stunningly beautiful.

We are more than our physical beauty.

The first picture you see here is of my sister Rachel. Anyone looking at that picture would say she is darling, beautiful and lovely. But Rachel tells me that never had she felt more ugly than when that picture was taken. She struggled with her body image and felt fat and dissatisfied with her looks. Shortly after that picture was taken she was diagnosed with cancer. She lost her hair, the drugs made her gain weight, she felt tired and sickly. She could no longer define herself through outward beauty and had to look inside. She started writing in a journal, she wrote down her testimony and sent it to our entire extended family including many non-members [of the LDS faith]. She strengthened relationships in her life and focused on being a better mother, sister, daughter and friend. 6 months later the 2nd picture was taken. Rachel says that never before had she felt more beautiful than in that picture. She was glowing from the inside out. Full of love and gratitude for her life, her children, her husband and her body. Through illness she was forced to answer the question, “what else is there?” And she found that there was in fact, much, much more.

Another amazing woman who found inner beauty through trial is Stephanie Nielson. Many of you have heard of this young mother of 4 who was in critical airplane crash 2 years ago and suffered burns over 80% of her body. Her injuries disfigured her face beyond recognition, even to her own children. Last September she spoke at BYU of this experience and said that after she got home from the hospital her life was harder than ever. She said,

“I couldn’t love the new me or my new look. I felt hopeless at every hour of the day. It wasn’t until I realized who I was that i found confidence that I needed to pull the inner spirit and rely deeply on my savior to fix it. I couldn’t do it alone. We can’t do it alone.One autumn afternoon I lay on the couch, looking at the recently turned golden leaves dangle from our front yard aspen tree. My eyes were opened. I had a husband who was strong and immoveable by my side, defending me and encouraging me on. My children could remember my mother heart. They could see it through me relearning to become a mother again. I began reading a book to my children. I’d sit down for a meal. I tried to smile and kiss them, and soon enough it worked. My beauty continued to shine forth, I had the spirit and I knew God loved me, and I looked at my blessings and they so overpowered the pain and trials I was going though.”

When I start feeling down about my body because a part of it isn’t “beautiful” I think about Stephanie. She didn’t care what her body looked like, She wanted to have it so she could experience life on this beautiful earth with her children and family.

Stephanie is beautiful. Millions have been touched be her incredible life and experience. She lost many of the the physical qualities that made her beautiful but never did she ever lose her beauty. What else is there? So much more. Our looks can be taken away in an instant or fade over time, but the beauty of our character lasts forever.

Lesson number 4: Look for the Positive

When Taber and I were newlyweds I heard a story at a marriage conference that has stayed with me. It was of a wife he worked tirelessly all day to clean her house immaculately from top to bottom while her husband was at work. When he came home she greeted him at the door, excited to see his reaction to all her hard work. When he walked in the door his eyes skipped over the glimmering house and fell on a silver vase sitting on the shelf. He pulled it off the shelf and said, "This vase has a smudge, you really should clean it off." By looking for the negative he missed all the positive things she had done that day.

We do this to ourselves though don’t we? We’ll have an amazingly productive day but when it’s over we beat ourselves up over the one thing we didn’t do. We do this when we look in the mirror. Instead of seeing our amazing bodies we see imperfections. When I was in high school I was particularly self conscious about my thick Polynesian legs I inherited from my Dad. To me they looked like football player legs, which would be great if I was a guy, not so much as a girl. When I looked in the mirror all I saw were those giant rhino legs. I was so focused on them that I discredited all my other good qualities and imagined that I couldn't be cute, how could a girl with such disproportionately enormous legs be cute? That crippling self consciousness held me back. I refused to wear shorts, even in the summer, I hated swimming and never went with friends. It was really sad. Thank goodness I’ve grown since then and come to appreciate my wonderfully sturdy thick and amazing legs. On them I’ve done many things, including run a marathon. If rhino legs helped me do that then I’ll take them!

Look for the positive, not the negative.

Looking for the positive goes beyond our looks.

Sister’s let’s do this. When the adversary whispers, “You’re not pretty, you’re not smart, you’re not good enough, you have rhino legs.” Silence the whispers and drown them out by shouting out loud if you have to, at least 3 things you love about yourself and your life.

Lesson Number 5: Learn to love.

I wrote this poem when I was 21 and coming to realize that I was who I was, and that was okay! All the things that I thought were imperfections didn't take away from who I was or what made me beautiful. They made me me, and I was learning to love myself. Here’s the poem:

I’m learning to love the girl that I see

when I look in the mirror and know that it’s me.

I’m learning to love my thick inner thighs

and the zits on my face that I try to disguise.

I’m learning to love all the hair on my toes

and the fact that 5’2” is as much as I’ll grow.

I’m learning to love all the folds in my tummy

and the cellulite dimples that speckle my bummy

and the way my eyelashes are short thick and stubby

and the way that my smile makes my cheeks look real chubby.

I’m learning to love the person I am

and I’m learning to love how I fit in God’s plan.

I’m learning to love all my quirks and my “isms”

for learning is freedom from vanity’s prison.

I choose to be free from the chains of deception

that bind me to falsified views of perfection.

I refuse to believe that my body is ugly

if a size four or five fits around me too snugly.

I’m learning that beauty is more than skin deep,

it’s the sum of our souls, it’s the values we keep

it's the way we develop our talents and skills,

it’s the way that we conquer adversities hills.

It’s the way we treat others and God up above,

it’s the way that each day we are learning to love.

Some things we can change, some we can’t. Don’t postpone joy and happiness because you aren’t a certain size, or place in your life. Don’t wait to be happy until a zit goes away, you’ve lost 10 lbs, grown out your hair or reached a certain goal. Yes we should strive to improve and be better, but love where you are right now. I had a baby 4 months ago. I can’t fit into any of my old clothes but I’m not going to let that stop me from being happy until I do. I have a healthy baby. I have a healthy body, and no matter what size it is, I love it.

Lesson number 6: Don’t compare yourself to others.

This one is hard because we all do it so naturally. Sometimes it’s harmless but It can be damaging when comparisons leave you feeling insecure or inferior. Stephanie Nielson said,

It’s okay to look at someone and admire what they do and who they are. It’s okay to be inspired by them and motivated to improve yourself. But it’s not okay to feel inferior or inadequate if you are not exactly like that person.

President Uchtdorf said, “ May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve, don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best YOU can, and the Lord will provide the rest.”

Everyone is different, and just because someone does or has something you don’t, doesn’t make the things you have any less.

My daughter Teya loves ice cream, it makes her go nuts just saying the word ice cream. One day I was scooping her a bowl and she was so giddy and excited, jumping up and down chanting, “ice cream ice cream!” When I put that bowl in her hands she looked down and was happy and content. But then she looked over at her sister who was also eating a bowl of ice cream. I must’ve accidentally put a little more in Briney’s bowl because Teya saw it and kind of did that double take from Brinley’s bowl to her bowl, and when she realized Brinley had more, giant tears welled up in her eyes and suddenly that ice cream (that only seconds ago had made her so happy and content) wasn’t good enough because it wasn’t like Brinley’s.”

Isn’t this exactly what happens to us when we compare? We have so many good things going for us that should bring us happiness and contentment, but then we see that another has more and suddenly what we have no longer brings us joy.

My friend Kendall shared a wonderful talk with me by Elder Holland in which he says,

“Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.

Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other."

Kendall shared with me how this quote helped her strengthen a relationship with her sister. She said,

“I have an amazing older sister (just older than me) who I grew up comparing myself to. I didn't realize it, but I had become quite resentful of her, based solely on the fact that I considered her to be far more beautiful than myself (boys would always tell me how cute she was - I HATED that) and let this resentment fester inside of me. Silly? Yes. But I was an insecure teenager. It wasn't until my sister had left for her mission and I heard a talk by Elder Holland ("The Other Prodigal") in General Conference, that I realized what a terrible sister I had been.

I realized when I heard this, I had been completely selfish in not giving my sister much-needed encouragement and praise over the years. She had insecurities of her own and she had needed the encouragement, but I was unwilling to give it to her. Had I been a better sister, we could have had a much stronger relationship growing up. Thankfully, this talk was a turning point for me. I am so close with my sister now because I see that Satan is the one who would have me believe that she is better than me, prettier than me, friendlier than me, etc. But like Elder Holland said - "The race is against SIN - not each other" We all need to cheer each other on!

Anyone who knows Kendall, knows how wonderful, amazing and absolutely beautiful she is. She is a builder. She gives compliments that are like water for thirsty flowers, she makes people feel good and wonderful and that’s why she feels good and wonderful too!

Don’t compare, but rejoice in our diverse talents and strengths. Each of us is a radiant flower in the garden of womanhood. If we were all the same it wouldn't be nearly as beautiful.

Lesson number 7: Give and receive compliments freely.

When you give a compliment it uplifts both the giver and the receiver. My Friend Becky said,

Becky felt that her friend’s kindness and ease in giving compliments to others actually made her more beautiful. Those compliments also carried Becky through some difficult transitions.

It is important to give compliments but it’s also important to receive them with grace. I see several bad habits in compliment receiving.

1. Blatant denial. Someone says,“You’re pretty” You say, “Are you kidding? I’m so ugly just look at my face!”
2. Discrediting the positive by bringing up the negative. Someone says, “You did a great job singing.” You say, “Yeah well the middle was terrible, I missed several notes and totally messed up the words.”
3. Playing it down. Someone says, “You ran a great race!” You say, “Oh well the course was made for beginners and I didn’t really do that well since it’s down hill and wasn’t that hard.”
4. Comparing. Someone says, “You have a beautiful voice.” You say, “Well you haven’t heard Jenny sing, She has a way better voice than me.”

Why do we do that? It’s like if someone gave you the most delicious and perfect amazing slice of your favorite cake, would you seriously just put it on the shelf to get crusty and stale without ever enjoying it? That’s what you are doing with those compliments.

Take a compliment, let it sink in and savor it. Believe it, they wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that yes, you are wonderful and fabulous and talented and amazing. You are a daughter of a king remember? All of it is true.

I know it’s still easier said than done for many of us so I’ll give you an example of how to take compliments.

Accept it and give one back:

• You have gorgeous eyes.
• Thank you! I love your eyes too.

Accept and build:

• That’s so amazing that you did _____
• Thank you! You could totally do ____ too! I could show you how, you could definitely do it!

Accept and express gratitude:

• Thank you, that really means a lot because I used to not think that.

Lesson number 8: Build upon the Rock of our Redeemer.

When I asked my friends what gives them confidence and feelings of great worth, my friend Claire said,

Isn’t that the greatest quote? I especially love that last part, the spa or a new outfit is great for a day or two, but the gospel will transform your life and your outlook forever! Basing your self esteem on looks, career, or temporal things is like building on the sand. All those things will fade away but when we build on the rock of the redeemer our self worth will last the tests of time.

Lesson Number 9: Give Service and Fellowship Others.

My brother-in-law Tau said,

Lift others and we will be lifted as well.

Lesson number 10: Believe!

Perhaps the most heartbreaking comment I received was from my beautiful younger sister Sarah. As far as physical appearance goes, she is a breathtaking beauty. Beyond that though she has the most kind and tender generous heart. She is so unselfish, always serving others, a wonderful mother and a dear friend. How could she, my sweet, beautiful kind sister not feel worthy of her father’s love? How does she not see what I see, what her husband sees, what her Father in heaven sees when he looks at her. She knows she is a child of God, but she struggles to believe. She says,

Sister’s believe. Have faith and know that our Father created you in his image and you are perfect. You are each different and unique, with talents as diverse as your appearance. And every one of you, every last one of you is His. His precious, beautiful, lovely daughter. He sees you, he knows you, he loves you, and no matter what, you are never unworthy of that love.

Sister Larson shared with me an article by Joni Hilton in which she says,

“You cannot hide from God, even if you try. He penetrates every place you could go or live, and there is no state of poverty or deprivation that blocks His power. The humblest among us, the imprisoned, the outcast, all are included in the arms of his love. Not one of us is unimportant, too sinful to approach him, or beyond help. He knows our hearts, he counts our tears, and as the ultimate loving parent, wants what is truly best for us.”

He is aware of you, he loves you. please, please, Believe it. Now I will end with a quote one of my friends shared with me,

“People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long course of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars: and they pass by themselves without wondering."

-St. Augustine

I have learned to not just wonder, but truly marvel. I marvel when I see these little faces. I marvel at my body, this beautiful gift from God that was able to bring them into this world and nourish and care for them. I marvel at the things I have accomplished when I put my trust in God and believe that with him all things are possible. I marvel at my divine heritage. At the knowledge that I am the daughter of a Heavenly King. He loves me, he believes in me, so I will love and believe in myself and I pray that all of us will do so too, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Of Things That Matter Most

As a young stay-at-home mother, I am frequently striving to find satisfaction in the mundane tasks I do from day to day. I am often discouraged, stressed out, and left with feelings of inadequacy. After those moments pass, I find myself pushing harder, adding more, wanting perfection...only to fall short again and be filled with the frustrations of taking one step forward, two steps back.

I believe this to be a refining process of my fortitude and character, but that doesn't make it any easier. It is still difficult to live each day for others. Once you bring a child into the world, you give up the right to live for yourself, and instead put yourself in the position to eat last, wake up first, stay behind, and forgo "you time" for "family time". There are many great rewards for making those sacrifices, but because we are human, and inherently selfish, there are also moments of self doubt and self pity.

In those moments, I like to seek help from my mother, mother-in-law, sisters, and best friend. But when they can't help me either, I inevitably turn to the Lord and the council he has give through modern day apostles and prophets. The talk, "Of Things That Matter Most" by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, is one of the most inspiring talks I've ever heard. It really caught me in a time of need and just made sense! So today I am sharing it with you. I've highlighted some of my favorite parts in blue if you don't want to read the whole thing, otherwise, its a great read and I highly recommend taking the time to read it all. (However, if you don't have time to read, you can click THIS LINK to go to a website that will let you listen to the talk whilst you go about your regular day!)

Of Things That Matter Most
By: Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

"If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most."

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It’s remarkable how much we can learn about life by studying nature. For example, scientists can look at the rings of trees and make educated guesses about climate and growing conditions hundreds and even thousands of years ago. One of the things we learn from studying the growth of trees is that during seasons when conditions are ideal, trees grow at a normal rate. However, during seasons when growing conditions are not ideal, trees slow down their growth and devote their energy to the basic elements necessary for survival.

At this point some of you may be thinking, “That’s all very fine and good, but what does it have to do with flying an airplane?” Well, let me tell you.

Have you ever been in an airplane and experienced turbulence? The most common cause of turbulence is a sudden change in air movement causing the aircraft to pitch, yaw, and roll. While planes are built to withstand far greater turbulence than anything you would encounter on a regular flight, it still may be disconcerting to passengers.

What do you suppose pilots do when they encounter turbulence? A student pilot may think that increasing speed is a good strategy because it will get them through the turbulence faster. But that may be the wrong thing to do. Professional pilots understand that there is an optimum turbulence penetration speed that will minimize the negative effects of turbulence. And most of the time that would mean to reduce your speed. The same principle applies also to speed bumps on a road.

Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions.

The Pace of Modern Life

This is a simple but critical lesson to learn. It may seem logical when put in terms of trees or turbulence, but it’s surprising how easy it is to ignore this lesson when it comes to applying these principles in our own daily lives. When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.

One of the characteristics of modern life seems to be that we are moving at an ever-increasing rate, regardless of turbulence or obstacles.

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

It is said that any virtue when taken to an extreme can become a vice. Over-scheduling our days would certainly qualify for this. There comes a point where milestones can become millstones and ambitions, albatrosses around our necks.

What Is the Solution?

The wise understand and apply the lessons of tree rings and air turbulence. They resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life. They follow the advice “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” In short, they focus on the things that matter most.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, in a recent general conference, taught, “We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”

The search for the best things inevitably leads to the foundational principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ—the simple and beautiful truths revealed to us by a caring, eternal, and all-knowing Father in Heaven. These core doctrines and principles, though simple enough for a child to understand, provide the answers to the most complex questions of life.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

For example, it wasn’t long after astronauts and cosmonauts orbited the earth that they realized ballpoint pens would not work in space. And so some very smart people went to work solving the problem. It took thousands of hours and millions of dollars, but in the end, they developed a pen that could write anywhere, in any temperature, and on nearly any surface. But how did the astronauts and cosmonauts get along until the problem was solved? They simply used a pencil.

Leonardo da Vinci is quoted as saying that “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” When we look at the foundational principles of the plan of happiness, the plan of salvation, we can recognize and appreciate in its plainness and simplicity the elegance and beauty of our Heavenly Father’s wisdom. Then, turning our ways to His ways is the beginning of our wisdom.

The Power of Basics

The story is told that the legendary football coach Vince Lombardi had a ritual he performed on the first day of training. He would hold up a football, show it to the athletes who had been playing the sport for many years, and say, “Gentlemen, … this is a football!” He talked about its size and shape, how it can be kicked, carried, or passed. He took the team out onto the empty field and said, “This is a football field.” He walked them around, describing the dimensions, the shape, the rules, and how the game is played.

This coach knew that even these experienced players, and indeed the team, could become great only by mastering the fundamentals. They could spend their time practicing intricate trick plays, but until they mastered the fundamentals of the game, they would never become a championship team.

I think most of us intuitively understand how important the fundamentals are. It is just that we sometimes get distracted by so many things that seem more enticing.

Printed material, wide-ranging media sources, electronic tools and gadgets—all helpful if used properly—can become hurtful diversions or heartless chambers of isolation.

Yet amidst the multitude of voices and choices, the humble Man of Galilee stands with hands outstretched, waiting. His is a simple message: “Come, follow me.” And He does not speak with a powerful megaphone but with a still, small voice. It is so easy for the basic gospel message to get lost amidst the deluge of information that hits us from all sides.

The holy scriptures and the spoken word of the living prophets give emphasis to the fundamental principles and doctrines of the gospel. The reason we return to these foundational principles, to the pure doctrines, is because they are the gateway to truths of profound meaning. They are the door to experiences of sublime importance that would otherwise be beyond our capacity to comprehend. These simple, basic principles are the key to living in harmony with God and man. They are the keys to opening the windows of heaven. They lead us to the peace, joy, and understanding that Heavenly Father has promised to His children who hear and obey Him.

My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness. They will teach us to do “all these things … in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby … win the prize.”

Brothers and sisters, diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world. That is why “we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, … that [we] may know to what source [we] may look for a remission of [our] sins.” In the complexity, confusion, and rush of modern living, this is the “more excellent way.”

So What Are the Basics?

As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn over and over again the importance of four key relationships: with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves. As we evaluate our own lives with a willing mind, we will see where we have drifted from the more excellent way. The eyes of our understanding will be opened, and we will recognize what needs to be done to purify our heart and refocus our life.

First, our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father. He desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure. We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we give our best to live according to God’s eternal plan and keep His commandments.

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him, by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by [Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Our second key relationship is with our families. Since “no other success can compensate for failure” here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.

The third key relationship we have is with our fellowman. We build this relationship one person at a time—by being sensitive to the needs of others, serving them, and giving of our time and talents. I was deeply impressed by one sister who was burdened with the challenges of age and illness but decided that although she couldn’t do much, she could listen. And so each week she watched for people who looked troubled or discouraged, and she spent time with them, listening. What a blessing she was in the lives of so many people.

The fourth key relationship is with ourselves. It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential.

Rejoice in the Pure Gospel

Brothers and sisters, let us be wise. Let us turn to the pure doctrinal waters of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Let us joyfully partake of them in their simplicity and plainness. The heavens are open again. The gospel of Jesus Christ is on earth once more, and its simple truths are a plentiful source of joy!

Brothers and sisters, indeed we have great reason to rejoice. If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most.

Let us simplify our lives a little. Let us make the changes necessary to refocus our lives on the sublime beauty of the simple, humble path of Christian discipleship—the path that leads always toward a life of meaning, gladness, and peace. For this I pray, as I leave you my blessing, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.