Sometimes the TRUTH can be hard to take.
Most times the TRUTH can set us free.
Seek truth and you will find a path.
~Frank Slaughter
Three amazing women have helped me realize that I need to be sharing MY TRUTH.
In the past few weeks these women have poured their hearts out and shared their TRUTH. I don't share what's real here everyday. I mean the real icky stuff. Obviously most of us Bloggers don't. Not every post anyway. And that's a good thing....I mean who wants to read every single gory detail of what's wrong in our lives, right?
But their does come a time when the TRUTH needs to told. We get so very tired of hiding behind the exclamation points and smily faces.
Here is an excerpt from my journal entry this morning....
"2012 has just been HARD. Probably the hardest of my life. My kids' choices and trying to keep them in line. Oh goodness our finances...all our financial burdens. Not having enough. I know I have been going through major depression. I have all the signs: tired, listless, want to sleep, losing interest in things I love. It's because I feel like I'm in this deep, dark hole and I'm being swallowed. There seems to be no way out. I am filling my time with ways to escape: food and tv. TODAY needs to be the First day of the rest of my life!!! It's time for an intervention. I HAVE to Take Charge of MY LIFE again. I want to be a BRAVE GIRL. I CAN be. I just need a plan."
Is this a little too much information? I don't think so. I think so many of us are going through hard times right now. And I seriously can't think of a better place to share and be understood than by my blog friends. Each one of you is so kind and understanding.
Today I am reaching out. I pouring out my soul in order to heal and start fresh. Each of YOU inspires me daily and have helped me have HOPE in my dark days.
Overall I am pretty happy. I have been blessed in countless ways...
*My family and I are healthy
*We have a roof over our head (although this has been a HUGE source of my stress)
*We have food on our table (our garden is helping so much!!)
*We have wonderful friends that share their light with us when we need it
*We have been able to go on a few mini trips thanks to my amazing Mom!!
Most importantly we have our FAITH.
With each family prayer we say we thank our Father in Heaven for our blessings. It seems just when we need it the most...we are blessed with money to pay a bill. Honestly a few miracles have been given to us and I am so, so grateful.
Leanne encouraged me to BE REAL...she encourages us all to BE REAL. Here is an excerpt from her latest post...
The truth is . . . it's not always rose colored glasses here. Lord knows, I'm not always happy. The girls aren't always just bathed and smelling like baby lotion and sitting like little angels reading wonderful novels from writers long ago. Sometimes it's more like stinky little 'played outside all day long' girls with knots in their hair and fights over whose Barbie doll that really belongs to. -Leanne
This post spoke VOLUMES to me. Thank you so much, Leanne!!
Soraya...well she is just one of those soulful writers that fills my heart with light!! Her post on why she blogs had me saying YES!! THIS IS WHY I BLOG, TOO!!!
Now...here's the thing about blogging (and this is difficult, if not impossible to explain to someone unless they have experienced it for themselves)...but it changed my life!!! And I am not being melodramatic, I swear (although I do have a tendency to be sometimes). But it absolutely changed ...me!!! Now when I look back and read through some of my earlier posts...I see someone in search of her voice. A little unsure, a little desolate + lost...but still...showing up. I see someone who has a sense of humor...and who tries. -Soraya
That last line...and who tries. Oh, I love that!! You see since I've become a Blogger I have tried more things and put myself out there more than ever. I paint now! I draw now! I have 3 craft shows under my belt! I never would have tried any of those things without my blog!!
And then their is Stephanie Ackerman from Homegrown Hospitality. Her post reminded me how I can get direction back into my life....
Number 2 and 3 on my summer list are to stay on a schedule and well, make a schedule because without one, I am totally un-focused and out of balance and right now, at this very moment, as I sit and type this at 12:29 in the afternoon, I am completely out of focus and slightly off balance and honestly, I do not work well this way and when I get this way, all I want to do is sit down and read one of the three books I am reading right now...which reminds me that this is coming soon and well, reading always leads to a nap...which is maybe what I will do after I finish this long run-on-sentence-blog-post and cross a few things off my list... -Stephanie
Do you know how long it's been since I wrote a list and kept it??
Here is my LIST for today:
1. put clothes away
2. laundry {daily}
3. Create index card
4. Work on Color challenge
5. Blog
6. Exchange planner
7. 3:30 Art Experience to throw clay {yes, I am learning how to throw}
8. 5PM church meeting
It feesl so good to have this list!!
I know things will get better. I know life isn't always so hard. I intend on working on "Embrace each day and live it." Keeping it real though means it's not gonna happen overnight.
But I am gonna work on it.
Journal entry from this morning...
"I need a FIRE in my belly again. I want my heart to sing again. I want to look in the mirror and TRULY love what I see again. I am going to OVERCOME what is holding me back. I so desperately want to FLY again!!"
Here's to making lists, overcoming our weakness's, finding joy in the journey and flying.
Who is with me?
