Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Dear Michelle, I hope by the time you've read this.. you've already gotten over it. Sometimes, things just dont go our way. I wanted to call you up yesterday, but it was already 12 plus. Sigh, I didnt know that you were crying last night. Sometimes, we seemed like we're being ripped out of the world and cast aside--- I've been through that as well. We do not know which direction to go, we dont even know if there's somebody who's going to guide us through this tough time. Whenever I cry, I feel alone--- I feel like there's just nobody out there who understands what I'm feeling. And that, is a fact. The fact is, nobody understands what's going on in your head ( Come to think of it, it would be extremely weird to have someone who really understands what you're thinking. ).. because, you keep it down inside you. When i cry, I feel like the whole damn world is totally against me. Whenever I cry, my mind automatically replays what had happened for a period of time, and like it or not, you cry even harder. Michelle, the thing is.. i've been through it as well.

I've been having petty arguments with my siblings as well. Looking at the brighter side; Let's just it's probably one of the ways to draw our relationshop closer. Funny, whenever I go back to my room at night , preparing myself for bed... the tears begin to roll and the whole emotion dramama thing comes back. And then, you switch on the stereo and the radio just happens to play a very emotional song. You cry harder and start wallowing in pity. I do not know if this happens to you.. but i always think, " How i wish i can fall asleep forever." Yep, I've got that kind of thought that keeps rewinding in my mind. I dont think it's a suicidal thought, it's just an emotional statement. It sounds cliche, but it happens--- to me.

The thing is, I always regret not ringing any of my friends up to talk to. Ironically, i always tell my buddles, " Hey, feel troubled? Talk la." Sometimes, you might think that you can handle the situation or you know, naively think that the whole problem would die down. ( That's what i always think, by the way.) And then, you start being pitiful about it.. and cry again. Look, so what if you think that the whole situation would die down in a matter of time? It might, but what about now? Arent you crying your lungs out, your tears running like an open tap? Using your pillow as a comforter?

You definitely have a handphone or a house phone around. Dont dial SOS, for it would cause a much bigger problem. Call somebody who's been out there for you, who had already promised to be there for you whenever shit happens.

I've been wanting to write about how i felt for the past few days, but i didnt had the courage to. I'm glad someone was willing to share.. and it has given me the push to write this post.

I regret not calling up my friends whenever i felt down. Dear friends, if you ever see your phone lighting up in the middle of the night, and you see my number... dont turn me down, okay? You will make me feel better. By the way, I think it's super brave of someone who dares to call someone in the middle of the night.




Because, you're willing to let it out.... finally.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Hah! I'm so happy! So very happy.

For the past few months, i was caught in a frenzy by Mr Kwon Sang Woo. I watched his dramas and I vowed that one day, I will learn to play the Stairway To Heaven's theme song. Hence, i've been searching up and down, left to right to no avail. I gave up and I forced myself to come up with the tune by myself. Let's just say i suceeded about 60% on the right hand. Hahahah! Imagine my frustration and agony whenever i laid my butt down there for 30 mins coming up with those chords and all. Hahahah!

So, imagine my happiness and joy when i just stumbled onto that forum, signed up membership, and some nice person shared the piano score there. My heart stopped for awhile, man. No kidding! :D

HA! HA! HA! I'm so delighted. Sometimes, things just happen like that.. when you dont expect it to happen at all. How Funny.

Okay, it's 1130pm. I dont think i wanna disturb my neighbours by playing the piano now. Ha, let's just say... spare them the agony. But then again.. I CANT WAIT FOR THE SUN TO COME OUT TOMORROW.

I am so gonna run to the piano first thing in the morning... okay, after making breakfast and sending my sister to school, watch Sad Sonata ( HA! I think Tina's gonna laugh.. Am watching another Korean Drama, my dear! ), wait till 10am ( That's when everyone in my block would have stretch their lazy bones--- I am a considerate neighbour) and then.. LAY MY HANDS ON MY PIANO. I will get it right by tomorrow, i dont caree. It's been my dream to play that song over and over again.

I'm so happy, I can sing! :)







Shucks. Need to do housework tomorrow morning. Oh bother. Nevermind though, I've got that score anyhow!

Oh yes. Tracy and I were exchanging a few SMS.

T: Hello. Watch Final Destination tomorrow want?
M: Tomorrow got school leh.
T: What school? Are you dreaming?
M: I got handbells la. You're making it sound like I'm reallly a nutcase.

Sometimes.... I just dont know what to say. HAHAH!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Oh my gosh. I tell you, Jay Chou's totally awesome. He really is. I'm listening to the song that he'd composed specially for the the Paparazzi.. and oh boy. I have to say that this young man here is definitely talented. Ultra coolness.

Last night, I played his entire album while reading his lyrics.. and really! The way he creates a song and bringing out a message through it... it's way too difficult for me to describe. The Paparazzi Song is totally cool. Haha. " Gou, Gou, Gou Gou." ( as in, dog dog dog dog.) It's so hilarious! I was grinning and laughing when I read his lyrics and listening to the song.

Okay, I think Balerie's gonna grin from ear to ear if she ever reads this post. But anyway, to those of you who haven bought his album...you'd better get one now. This one's definitely worth your entire pocket. :D

I was wondering if he'd actually went out of tune in one of his songs. The one worded song.. "Feng" or " Peng" song. Hahahaha. I was listening through my Nano and i was like, " Hey! Was that on purpose or something?" Better ask Mrs Chou later. (tsk. You and I probably know who I'm referring to.. :) )

Oh yes, my mum might be visiting my blog later. I decided to give her my URL to let her know what's going on in my life. Hahaha! I mean, i've even given my blog address in my 500 word statement for Ngee Ann's interview. I dont think it's a big deal, actually. It's kind of cool. I think my mum would agree too! :D

To my mummy: Hey mum! If you are here, do TAG! Hahaha. It's that pink box down there.. Just let me know that you're here! *winks*

I think I need Tina's help. Hahaha, I want to create an archive! Anyone?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Aloha! I cant help but to give a big HURRAY for today is a FRIDAY. Gone are the days that's been rather hectic for me. I mean, it's been very long since i've become so stressed up.. mainly due to the interviews at Polys. Been on a emotion roller coaster this week... something that I have not told anyone yet.

Oh well, just let it go already. The week ahead is something I'm going to look forward to. Posting results out on March 3rd. I hope to get into the course I want.

Anyway, the main highlight for this week would be the meet up with my buddies at Sentosa. Although Wenxin and Fangying couldn make it ( it would be much better if they come along) , the 4 of us did enjoy ourselves to the maximum. Ha, the weather was very unpredictable. Very. Drizzled, rain, sun high up again. Hahahha. There was one point where we were all sunbathing under the sun happily then suddenly we were like, " Hey. Where's the Sun again?" "Crap, the dark clouds blocking the Sun." Then, I started to imitate one of the situations that happened in White Chicks. There was this situation where one of the "blondes" was happily suntanning at the beach, then out of nowhere, "she" went, " What happened to the Sun" ( or something like that). The next moment, "she" opened her eyes and to "her" outmost horror, there was this BIG oily guy standing behind her head, grinning at her. Haha, i was that "BIG oily guy" and Tracy became my victim for awhile.

We definitely had a good time out there. Oh yes, we experienced the Chairlift ride for 5 bucks. Whoa, the feeling was exhilarating. Balerie and Michelle were obviously freaked out, Balerie froze--- like an ice. Hahaha, I was wearing slippers at that time, and i didnt want to risk them.. so i had to remove them on air and place them in the beach bag. Hahaha. You should try that. Oh yes! We had a snapshot of ourselves on air as well. Hahahah! The second time we rode on her, we were all cool. *winks* We wanted to scream but we came out with a very weak "ahhh" instead.

Oh yes! I had a great time with a hermit crab as well. Hahah, I picked it up and played with it for awhile while the rest were sunbathing. Michelle became distracted-- I guess i'm the only person who's so enthusiatic about things like that. It was sooo cute. Ha! And my buddies are a lazy bunch of people. None of them wanted to play frisbee with me. (Even Michelle! ) No fair! Yes, they played for awhile but still!

We tried our mighty best to tan ourselves ( although we heard a few protests from Balerie) with suntanning oil. Haha, the results werent that fantastic. Haha, yes! I love that red glow on my cheeks though. HA!

Ngee Ann's interview wasnt as bad as i thought. I actually had a great time coming out with a presentation in 10 minutes with my "stranger" groupmates. I mean, it's just so nice that we can get all chummy and everything at the end of the session. Kind of amazing, actually! :D

Alright for now, going to type an email to my mom at Dubai. I promised her already.

Oh yes, to end of to this post, I wanna wish my beloved Shijie a Happy Sweet 17th Birthday! May all your dreams come true! Meet up with you really really really soon. I promise! :)

Monday, February 20, 2006

Back from Handbells! Hahahaha. Really awed by the way we played, although there were loads of "HUHs?!" " I DUNNOs." " ???s" all over the classroom. We had a hard time finding out the correct notes and all. (Hello, it's been 8 months plus since we've got together and played the SYF pieces. Ahem.)

Well, something magical happened though.. towards the end of the practice. I guess we were all too tired by the end of the day that we decided to play the whole song all over again... and alas! Slowly and magically, we got the notes right. Way cool, huh. :D And we played the entire song for 3 times or so. PL Handbells.... GO! :)

Right, we still got the Chinese Song to settle with... and all we're left is 4 more weeks before the performance. Wish us luck!

Okay, for the past few days.. I've been stuck with Korean Soapy Love Serials. ( hahaha. I'm so embarrassed to say this, but i've borrowed Wenxin's Stairway to Heaven. I've watch the entire drama 5 times already. HAH! ) Come to even think of it, i watched it during O levels as well. ( It's that addictive.) HA. Yes, I proclaim myself as an ardent fan of that serial. And no doubt, i still cry during the show, although i spent 75% of my time psycho-ing myself to CRY. Dont cry, no kick. Hehehehe.

Oh yah! Thank goodness that little voice on my head told me to check my phone during Handbells today. TP has rung me up and told me to go for the CMM's interview tomorrow. How exciting, man. I literally jumped out of joy when the lady called me. Before that, i was telling my mates what course i want to take.

:) Alright for now.. Going to have an early night. I've got to make egg-bread and prepare dad's lunch and breakfast tomorrow morning. Hahahaha. My pancakes failed rather miserably. I was laughing at myself this morning... stupid pancakes. Fear not though, I'm going to try to make better ones next week or something. I'll make sure that little sis wont have the chance to eat her Honeystars with Milk every morning.. JUST MY PAINCAKES. ( Pancakes, i mean.)

*evil laughs*

Sunday, February 19, 2006

I WANT TO THANK TINA. :D

Monday, February 13, 2006

Okay, so my mom's off the Dubai again. For another 2 months.

It's been so long since i've updated. Anyway, I've got something that I can look forward to everyweek from now on. Yay! Will be having Handbell Practises every Monday! :D I can hardly wait for tomorrow! Yay-hoo!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My name is Freaked. Freaked Out.

Shucks.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Did I ever mentioned that I've got a cat named Garfield? Hahaha! Okay, he/she isnt mine, he/she belongs to the Neighbourhood. Yes, he/she is a stray cat. (Okay, I'll just assume that Garfield's a HE, okay? It gets really troublesome to type out he/she along the way.)

Hah! I'm the one who named it Garfield because he's orange in colour. Garfield's not as fat as the real Garfield though. Aiayah, dont ask me why i named it Garfield because that's the only reason i can give. He's Orange, okay? . And because i'l keep going downstairs to find him, i think he knows his name is Garfield already, because he meows at me whenever i call him. It's going to be a matter of time that the whole block knows his name. HAHA! That's because we usually call him pretty loudly everytime we see him.

Okay, it's been a few weeks since i've been calling him and not touching him at all. Kind of intimidated by his sharp claws. Hence, Jx and I decided to pick up our courage to go touch him yesterday. As usual, he meowed at us when we call out his name.. and yes! Garfield walked towards us, looking at us with his bright eyes. Then, he laid down and started stretching himself ( you know, like how dogs do that whenever they want a pat. I always need to make a mental note that a cat isnt a dog) Weirdly enough, while the 2 of us were looking at him idiotically, he stood up and started to rub himself against the pillar. I do not get this action that he did, though. Would ask Tina what it means by a cat rubbing itself against the pillar later. HA!

To my surprise later, he walked up towards my feet ( still meowing) and wanted to rub his furry body against my legs. Overly friendly cat, but i do NOT appreciate it. So i sort of gave a yelp and stepped back. Ha, so mean right?

Alright, to cut the whole story short ( I'm getting a little bit tired typing this), i poked Garfield. Yes, poked. HAHA!

I'll probably go visit Garfield later downstairs. :D

That was last night's exciting situation. Today, i went to the Guan Yin Miao (Chinese Temple) with my mum. Prayed for goodwill and good health! I dont usually go inside the temple cause` i'm worried i might have breathing difficulties. However, i did today. :) Before that, we walked around Bugis for a short while. Well, Mum bought us 2 Kipling bags ( Am supposed to share with my sisters). One is for school, though. See! I've got so much fate with Kipling. It's been 11 years since i've been having Kipling bags for school! There's a similarities between Kipling and I though. It starts with a letter K, like my surname. And it's got a gorilla as it's mascot. ( So that's King Kong for you. A nickname given to me since Primary school. Long accepted it. HAHA! :D)

Alright, am glad today! Long entry here, i know!

Monday, February 06, 2006

HELLO!

Isnt it a nice word to start my entry? Hahahaha. Okay, i just hope that entry below will soon be blown over. Ha! I know it's really funny, so dont repeat!

Alright, so i head down for lunch with Amanda, Wenxin and Cheryl. It was a pretty good time of catching up, with loads of funny moments to share.

Got nothing to share over here actually.. OOH! Felicia has been bugging me to update my profile as well as update photos into my friendster. That's because she's almost assured that she'll be able to beat me in the case of who's profiles is being viewed more. [Seriously, who's got a more cornier sister than mine?]

So, friends! Prove to her that you do not need to update your friendster accounts to have more people seeing. HAHAHA!

View mine now, quick! :D

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Something damn embarrassing just happened to ME. It's really the ultimate. HA! I cannot stop laughing at myself right now.

You know, i was singing and singing damn loudly ( no one's at home now.) in front of my laptop just now. And to those whom have come over to my place before, you would know that the computer room in my house is really near main door. And that, i have a window that allows me to see what's happening outside my house.. and obviously, people can see what i'm doing in the room. Was blasting out the music from my Itunes and singing so happily, full of emotions as some might say and suddenly..

Suddenly..

This guy had to interupt my sing-a-long. I was so frustrated that i gave him a damn pissed of look. So i went, " Yes, what do you want?" and clearly, he was grinning at me. " Your mum called me a few days ago, telling me that your electrical appliances are spoilt."

Oh.

HAHAHA! Can you imagine that scenario?

It was so embarrassing. Fine, it may sound like an "okay, what's so embarassing about that?" to you. But i was postively making those stupid faces of mine while singing. Ha! Could have died, really.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Go catch " I Not Stupid Too."

Immediately. Support Jack Neo. Hahahaha!

That movie's really good. It makes you laugh, then cry, then laugh again, then weep again.

It's a bagus movie.

Okay, am back after a few days. Went to Ngee Ann Poly yesterday to check out what they have with Michelle, Wenxin, Balerie and Tracy. Must say that we almost died half way during the journey. Not only our plan to "cheat" the bus uncle failed.. the entire journey was so long that my bum ached. Main highlight yesterday that, I FAILED TO FIND HAGRID! Ha, go down to Ngee Ann if you want to know if Hagrid's really there. And yes, the Ice Milo.. god. The way it goes down your throat. Yummy! I'll always remember PL would never fail to get us Ice Milo during Sports Day and Racial Harmony Day.

Other than that.. Ngee Ann's pretty cool. The FilmMedia studies is kind of intriguing. There's so many things going on in a small room. And oh yes! Before i forget to add, i actually allowed a student to check my blood-type. Yep! Even though i already knew mine. Let's just say that the following saying, " curiousity killed a cat" really worked out for me. All of them ( i mean my buddies) reckoned that they squeezed out a little too much blood. Ha! 5 minutes of a bloody situtation. So after that, the guy was like, " Okay, you're a A-" " What? I thought I'm a A+"

Hahaha. Okay, so am I A negative or A positive? They concluded that I had a little plus in me. *weak laughs* I'll just stick that I'm an A positive anyhow.

Alright, i've yet to think what i really want. Emms. The results are coming soon and i have to say that i'm really really really really really ( okay, you've got me.) extremely nervous about it. I mean, who isnt?

Gonna watch " I Not Stupid Too" with my mom and lil sister later. Mom told me to bring loads of tissue paper so i'm going to listen to her.

Eh, go support local stuff.

Title; Its a lie
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