L'echec

This song is so beautiful.

L'echec (The Failure)

Artist: Yann Tiersen
Vocals: Yann Tiersen and Natacha Régnier

I would like to see our failure
Face to face one beautiful day
Scrutinize its very self
Distinguish its shape

And in the crude atmosphere
Of a town during summer
Slowly get away (from it)
And never cross paths with it ever again (I would like to)

Move amidst the crowd,
Be it a benevolent or antagonistic one
Making up jokes for once
In a supermarket

And, my arms full of groceries,
Realize that we finally overcame
Its (the failure's) shadow's boundaries

It will come back eventually,
the kind of morning where,
with delighted faces
We used to eat slices of bread

The window slightly opened
Before going to shower
Laughing because we were so late
Comparing to other people

And with a nonchalant pace
And a smile firmly in place
We will walk self-confidently
Into the familiar streets

Toward some place in the city,
Some unknown place,
To find again our failure,
And its shadow.

(Translated lyrics from a youtube commentator: Lyseven)

visual communication

21 years, living in this small island called Singapore leading a safe and contented life. What triggered me to study this creative field was the desire to create beautiful things. Yet this desire remains hungry to be filled, despite trying to figure this stomach out and filling in things for 4 years. What is lacking all these while that no matter how sometimes I want to work, it’d never turn out the way I desire it to be. Nah, never is too strong of a word, sometimes it did work didn’t it?

Can the mind be trained? To do what it lacks, to organize all these seeming impossible hopes and desires and slowly fulfilling them one by one. So many successful examples I wonder if I can be one of them. I can’t wait to grow up from my ignorance and start see the world, experience life.

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Sometimes I wonder the kind of discipline that we've been pushed right of now, we're on our way to become the kind of designers we all desire to be aint it?

The profs in my department have upped expectations a thousand level higher for our final projects this sem, I'm pretty much still at amateur level so to speak. To make something that I myself have no mental image of what the end product would look like, what kind of level is that. There's always this mysterious cloud of unknown translating thoughts in your head into something that you can see. But I'm still quite keen to experiment.
If by the end of year four I can figure all these out and reach my profs' level of thinking, I'd then become a really successful visual communicator wouldn't I? Whereby brain and hand beat together as one. I wana be as awesome as them.

I wrote this when I was in year 2. Now that I'm in year 4, I don't think I've exactly felt what I hoped I would be at this stage. I still feel lacking the skills I need to articulate. My brain seemed to have a growing spurt the past 2 years that my hands couldn't keep up with. I feel empty inside because my soul has been poured into my works. Again, I have barely a vague image what my project outcome would look like and I'm still a long way despite a short schedule to reach there.

I have to run. I have to run real fast. I'm tired but I must run. Run and finish this race. I hope I'll grow up a little after this race.