List of things that made 2012 special II

Most out of character book purchase of the year:

I got this yesterday on Christmas Eve. It's an atlas of the state of the world in lovely infographics and maps. Saying this's an out of character purchase's because this is my first non-fiction book that's got nothing related to design. I'm curious of our world more than before now.

Most drama movie outing of the year:
I didn't realise I bought tickets to Les Miserables tomorrow when we went to watch it today. Lucky the movie was shown in the same theatre with the same timing. We totally didn't know until we saw people seated at our seats. When we confronted the guy and took out our tickets to check, he looked at my ticket and said: your ticket is tomorrow! That was embarassing. Haa.

-
2012 felt like it's been 2 different years. It didn't felt very long maybe because there were always things happening to keep me occupied. FYP was the best project I've ever done and I even won something for the first time of my own. I went to Taiwan and grew closer to friends I've already known for years. I had the most awesome school holidays I've ever had with these bunch of friends. Making things, exploring places and activities we've never done before and having soulful conversations. I was happy. Then I got a job. It was somewhat difficult at first but I've grown to adapt to it and understand a little more how the real world works.

2012 was a year of many firsts. There were things that didn't turn out how I hoped it would be. I was happy. I was mad. I was sad. I was emotional. By now I've come to learn that there are things that's way beyond my control and not to be too bothered when things didn't turn out the way I desired.

2012; so much change.

List of things that made 2012 special I

Most amazing thing that ever happened to me this year: I inspired my idol to publish a book about our workshop last year. 

Funniest thing I heard from my friend Voon this year that had me laughing for 5 minutes.

2012; so amusing.

How do you not get too hung up about things you have no control over?

How do you not get too hung up about things you have no control over?
Like for example I have a shoot that I'm looking forward to at work tomorrow but now I have this sudden bout of fever from a sudden throat infection that I totally didn't foresee because I was totally well yesterday. Out of all days this had to happen on a day when I was actually looking forward to work.

Oh uncontrollable unseen forces of fate and mysterious ways of the universe why do you often do this to me?

I admit I'm easily amused

This is one of those days when a click on the wikipedia page led me to a rolling snowball of random information that mindblows/amuses me. It all started when I decided to wiki Ray Bradbury because I somehow influenced my dear friend Kuala to read Fahrenheit 451. And goodness all along when I thought the book was good I didn't for once wikipedia-ed the author until today.

Mindblown Trivia #1: Ray Bradbury passed away in June this year.
Reaction: Woah. The author who wrote the book that got me questioned so many things and prompted much discussion with my friends passed away just a few months ago? Why didn't I know him earlier?

Mindblown Trivia #2: Ray Bradbury was close friends with Ray Harryhausen for a good 70 years until he died.
Reaction: Omg they were close friends for so long?! Wow Ray Harryhausen's the guy who did King Kong whom I learnt about during my Animation History class. That's so cool and then I realised they both have Rays in their names and were born in the same year. Reading further that they worked together or mention each other in their works made me hopeful that I could have such a friendship with some friends myself.

Mindblown Trivia #4:

Bradbury observed that the novel touches on the alienation of people by media: 
In writing the short novel Fahrenheit 451 I thought I was describing a world that might evolve in four or five decades. But only a few weeks ago, in Beverly Hills one night, a husband and wife passed me, walking their dog. I stood staring after them, absolutely stunned. The woman held in one hand a small cigarette-package-sized radio, its antenna quivering. From this sprang tiny copper wires which ended in a dainty cone plugged into her right ear. There she was, oblivious to man and dog, listening to far winds and whispers and soap opera cries, sleep walking, helped up and down curbs by a husband who might just as well not have been there. This was not fiction.
(Quoted from Ray Bradbury's wikipedia)

Reaction: Upon discovering the fact that Fahrenheit 451 was written in the 50s when I thought it was a new book maybe written just a few years ago because the things written felt so much relatable to our digital era, knowing what made Bradbury inspired to write F451 deeply impressed me. The thing is he was quite accurate in guessing how the world would evolve 4-5 decades later.

Mindblown Trivia #4: Then on after that I decided to find out when were headphones first invented; it was 1919!
Reaction: Now I know headphones existed way back in the 50s when I thought it was something new that happened maybe only 20 years ago.

Mindblown Trivia #5: My favourite quote which I pinned on my corkboard since years ago was actually by Ray Bradbury when all along I wrote "by somebody else's name" at the end of the quote. How did I get the author of the quote wrong for so many years and didn't know?

“If we listened to our intellect we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go in business because we'd be cynical: "It's gonna go wrong." Or "She's going to hurt me." Or,"I've had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore . . ." Well, that's nonsense. You're going to miss life. You've got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.”  ― Ray Bradbury

Reaction: All the more I'm in awe of Ray Bradbury and F451 now.

That's how a conversation dies

The televisor is 'real.' It is immediate, it has dimension. It tells you what to think and blasts it in. It must be, right. It seems so right. It rushes you on so quickly to its own conclusions your mind hasn't time to protest, 'What nonsense!'"
— Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury

There's this book I was reading that felt so right describing our society today with mass consumption in media and all, I got a shock when I discovered the book was written in the 50s. Because I felt what it said was so true, that so often a times there's so many things to see, read and watch there's no time to stop and think about what you've just digested; so I want to stop and write something about this book now! (Although I've finished reading it days ago)

Sometimes I feel I used to write better during the days when social media weren't around yet. Theres so much to read about how your friends feel today, you know like how they are so hungry right now and wana eat spaghetti for instance. Right. I guess I could have a small laugh at that but reading hundreds of these small exclaims can take up almost 1-2 hours of my day at least I think, at different parts of the day. It becomes the thing so convenient to do when you're bored. Scrolling small snippets of information and getting the gist of everything in minutes, like you've gained so much knowledge about the people and most popular thing happening right now! Although I know it's shallow, I still do it sometimes because it really is the most convenient, easy, brainless thing to keep you entertained when you have nothing to do!

It's starting to get scary that everyone's so caught up with instant gratification they can get so easily (though I think it applies to me too) that there's less people having the patience to wait, less people having the interest to want to know more about things. It's somewhat resembling the society that the book was about. Being aware and thinking about all these is easy, I thought it would be harder writing about it. It takes time, effort and patience to get all these words out from my head. So at least whatever I've thought has a form now to prove that I've thought about it and will probably make better choices what to do during my "leisure time" in F451 terms. That wasn't so hard to write was it?

How do I make my present better than my past?

I wonder if it's the lack of visions and tangible goals ahead of my life right now, I've always missed my past and felt it was better. My life as a student. My life as an adm student. Well when I first entered university I missed my poly student life because I felt it to be 10x more stressful than whatever I went through in poly. But as the first year passed, I began to enjoy my uni life. I started to love learning more. Will this happen too when I work past my first year in the work force? What can I look forward to in the next few years of my life when there's no saying what can happen?

As a student you look forward to graduation, so as a working adult I should look forward to retire happily with some cute grandchildren to be at home with? Maybe that's the problem, life beyond school feels like I've just completed my swimming course and thrown in a vast sea to seek a shore without a map.

---

Okay I know what's wrong now, I haven't had deep soulful conversations for some time. That's what I'm missing. Somehow with so much social media these days, communication seems to have succumbed to two or at most three liners these days that doesn't even convey much. Has everyone gotten lazy?

Whims

The last time I lost sleep was due to stress over whether I'd make it for my fyp. That was just barely 6 months ago. Then in a whirlwind, fyp was over and I got my first full time job. Now today, I'm fussing over whether I'm happy with my job and where do I see myself in the future.

All I need is just somebody positively inspiring at work. Is that too hard to ask for?
It's depressing to be put down whenever I try to be funny.
And I wasn't even trying, I was just being myself.

Hmm.

Ironically I thought I had a good week of work although I worked past 11-12ish for 4 consecutive days. That was a new overtime record. I felt more tired on days I do work that didn't matter sometimes, even if I do go off early. Now I know how much projects that matter play a huge part in shaping the mood and energy level of your week.

To keep my soul sane

Finally for some me time.

It's been slightly more than a month since I started working. Sometimes I tell myself to see work as a new school to learn things in and I do hope I will. I'm not sure if this's the best place to work in, but I'm sure it's not that bad either. Things can get a little mundane when the things I like to do can't be applied in my work. Things can get a little discouraging when people don't see the point in my beliefs. But I'm glad there's still people on the same wavelength as me and that's good enough for me to learn from.

Then came a reply letter from Schmid, a good reminder for my soul to read more and think about things in life, and think about what can I do to share something with him the next time. If it weren't for my fyp and that little surge of courage to write to him, I wouldn't have been more inspired than now. He understood my work and what I was trying to tell him. That alone has made me a very very happy fangirl and will keep me going.

Go!

職人

Today I learnt a new word: "Shokunin" 職人.

“The Japanese word shokunin is defined by both Japanese and Japanese-English dictionaries as ‘craftsman’ or ‘artisan’, but such a literal description does not fully express the deeper meaning. The Japanese apprentice is taught that shokunin means not only having technical skill, but also implies an attitude and social consciousness. These qualities are encompassed in the word shokunin, but are seldom written down ... The shokunin demonstrates knowledge of tools and skills with them, the ability to create beauty and the capacity to work with incredible speed ... The shokunin has a social obligation to work his/her best for the general welfare of the people. This obligation is both spiritual and material, in that no matter what it is, the shokunin’s responsibility is to fulfill the requirement.”

I've finally watched "Jiro dreams of Sushi" today. How do you like whatever you do so much that you devote your whole life to it? Does it require much self-discipline to be able to hold on to your passion for the rest of your life? Leaving no back doors for yourself (because Jiro's parents told him he has no home to return to) so that the only way to survive is to succeed. Not only striving to hone your skills but liking your job and the process too. How? How do these people have so much drive?

It always baffles me how sometimes when your hobby turns into a job, the passion fizzes. Does it mean that you don't really like doing it as much as you thought you did? The shrimp dealer said it true

These days the first thing people want is an easy job. Then, they want lots of free time. And then, they want lots of money. But they aren't thinking of building their skills. When you work at a place like Jiro's, you are committing to a trade for life.

I would like an easy job and lots of free time but I do want to hone my skills. For now I think I do like my job but perhaps with more control of the type of projects I take up and more time given for each, I'd like it more. But how can anyone not like to have free time when there are so many distractions/ fun /interesting things you can do when you are free?

Twenty Four

This book came to me like a warm charcoal is to a winter's day. I didn't expect anything like this after I sent him some of my works in courtesy to reply the last postcard he sent. It might be a little bold of me to say that we have common interests, despite him being a 70 year old distinguished typography designer and me, some unknown fresh out of the mill graphic designer from Singapore. Perhaps that's why we are able to still stay in touch in a way like this.

This is a book on the quiet beauty of things Japanese from his perspective. Being a "Japanophile" in some ways, this is a book I'd love to have.


There's a page at the later pages of the book where he wrote how he ended up in Japan. When I saw this line, the word "twenty four"immediately struck a resonance with me. This book couldn't have arrived in a better time than this, when I will be turning 24 myself this year. What a touching coincidence that I'm able to read what he experienced at his transition phase that I'm similarly experiencing right now. It truly has been a huge inspiration and comfort.


Now that I'm officially 24, what do I hope for my future? I'm still trying to picture what I'd be doing in 10 years time. Looking back at what I did the last year, I've managed to churn out a satisfying fyp although I could, if I had more time, work on the drawings a bit more. Last year I said I want to read more. Now that I have a full time job, I hope I don't get cooped up in my small publication design world not knowing what's happening outside. I hope I don't run out of energy to get curious and adventurous, I hope I don't run out of energy to have a life outside work. I hope I'm able to maintain all the friendships I've made. I hope to know more people. I hope to do things faster so that I will have more free time. That's not too much to work for right?

Convocation

I feel I had to write something before this whole bliss of graduate fades off when the toll of real work takes on me tomorrow. I still can't believe that my 4 years of university life is over. 4 years seem to be long but it's one of the periods I learnt the most in terms of academic knowledge, concepts and what shaped my identity as a designer today.

Here I've met great friends, met great professors who've influenced and inspired me in my work. I hope by writing this down, I will remember what I'm feeling now.

I remember my first day of class, the first words I heard from my drawing teacher Bridget was that we all ought to be sponges absorbing as much from the professors as we can. That the end of it all, we're each a huge sponge so full, we ooze out a unique blend of colours shaped by our dear teachers and peers. I really hope I've absorbed everything well and they're all permanent ink on me. All these important life lessons taught well to be never forgotten.

I'm glad I took a photo with all the professors who meant a lot to me, except for a few that I couldn't find. Especially Sir O'Grady, I'm glad I knocked on his door again despite he wasn't in earlier. I'm glad I finally can tell him face to face that I loved his lessons and it's been an honour to be in his class. [Pardon my shortage of vocabulary but it's 1am now] And a talk with Jesvin made me ponder what I'd be doing when I hit 40.

No matter how tough I felt school was, it was always safe to fall. This I remember from Michael and I've always remembered that. Now that I've grown out of this safety net, I hope I've grown wings strong enough to fly on my own. Thank you, the people I've met in my 4 years of university life, for shaping what I am today. You will always be a part of me. :)

I miss school and I think I always will be.

List of positive things about work

For now, tomorrow's just another day to me. I hope I'd meet nice people and learn new things. Most importantly, like what I'll be doing even when I have less time for myself.
Oyasumi.

Borrower Arrietty

The last Ghibli film I watched in our local cinemas was Ponyo some years ago. Given Ghibli's name in the animation world, I wonder why they haven't import any of their new works to our big screens since then. Karigurashi no Arrietty was a gem.

Also known as Borrower Arrietty or The Secret World of Arrietty in the Disney US version is a tale of little people living under the Kitchen Floors of a lovely old house in the countryside. The world Arrietty lives in was crafted imaginatively beautiful. Probably because it's a new perspective watching how useless things from our world are being used by these little borrowers that makes it all so fascinating. Things like using a peg for a hair clip, staples for a ladder, and Arrietty's room with all those little twigs and flowers filling up her room. I'd love to have a room like that. Pouring tea from a tiny teapot little people size are in droplets that go blop blop. I love these little details.



The soundtrack composed by Cecile Corbel matched the enchanting tale with its celtic, serene feel from the harp. The most awesome thing about her was that she sent a fan letter to Miyazaki along with her album and Studio Ghibli decided to collaborate with her for the soundtrack of the movie. How cool is that! It's every fangirl's dream to work with their idols. I think it's my favourite Ghibli movie song now.

七年了

I spent my 7 years in tertiary education, 7 years playing in the school's co alongside. I wondered if I'd ever quit co when my education ends but today's impromptu performance made me realise I still very much enjoy playing in an orchestra. Perhaps being free of school work made playing a different kind of experience? Or perhaps I'd been stagnant in the same orchestra for too long that playing with a different group of people made me feel something I didn't know I missed doing? Though I wonder if I'd still feel this way when I start work.

Hanging out with my dear seniors always made me feel young and loved.
Hanging out with friends my age bring me closest to reality.
Hanging out with my juniors makes me wana take them under my wing and share with them my life experiences.

I befriended an inquisitive 18 year old today. We could talk about so many things, it's an instant click. Never thought I'd have so many things and mutual friends in common with a girl 6 years my junior. She reminds me a little of myself back then when I was still into anime and all.

不知为什么听见大嫂说我长大了有几分小感动。

Summer Reads

I like how I chance upon articles by my favourite people from the random books I picked from the shelves of the library.

And in those reads by my favourite people, I find another meaning in the film I've just watched recently.
The berry trees by the roadside are blooming amidst the summer heat.

Crossroad

I'm having the time of my life now, meeting my friends almost everyday. Albeit the same people, we do different things and try new stuffs. Yesterday I made my own tote bag from a T-shirt, last week we went kayaking and explored the new Punggol parks. All this will change very soon once I get a job or my savings run out. A part of me feels I deserve this after working so hard for the past year, a part of me feels I should start looking for work seriously yet I dread starting that new working phase. Let's face it, it's graduation season, everyone's looking for a job. It's competitive.

Where do I go? After the show, FYP felt so small, it's behind me. If my life could ever be so simple, I'd own a small cosy salon and cut hair or tie braids for pleasant strangers in the neighbourhood.

2001: Space Odyssey (1968)

I've been wanting to watch this since semesters ago when I was in Capuzzo's class. Because he had nothing but praises for the movie and because I liked Clockwork Orange. So there today I've finally the heart to watch it for myself.

The first 3 minutes of black.
I was put through a black screen for 3 minutes. 3 minutes of void and this eerie music that gradually grows louder. Having a faint heart, I was worried if anything would suddenly pop up and scare the shit out of me. I guess this could be what Kubrick wants the audience to get a sense of what space feels like, so I restrained myself from skipping this uncomfortable 3 minutes. This feeling of not knowing what could happen next and waiting helplessly to see where the black screen would take me started my viewing of 2001: A Space Odyssey, directed by Stanley Kubrick.

There it is, the beautiful title after my long 3 minutes wait. (gotta find out what's the typeface!)

(I'm just gona be honest and write my first impressions. In case I do get a differing opinion if I get a chance to watch the film again in the future.)

Every shot was really beautiful. This being made in 1968 (a year before man stepped on the moon) and how Kubrick manage create such stunning visuals is beyond me. During the ape arc, I was even wondering whether these apes are real apes or just really good actors in very believable ape suits. Every shot moved beautifully silent in slow motion. I suppose it makes this an honest representation how travelling in space is like. Afterall one can't hear anything in vacuum and I suppose without gravity, one floats slowly. Most space movies I've watched always look action packed cool so this slow visual odyssey that marvels the beauty of outer space was new to me. I'd have to admit though at the 2nd arc I almost dozed off because it takes minutes of footage for any spacecraft to travel to one place to another.

I also appreciate that in parallel to the circular motion that these spacecrafts always float, its interior show continuity to how it's moved outside. Won't astronauts get space-sickness like this?
The moon outside the window when he was telephone conferencing was moving in circular motion too.

(There are more things I should have mentioned about this movie, like what I think about the monolith and HAL, but these are things open for discussion and.. it's been a few days since I started this post. They can have separate posts on its own when I have the mood to write again)

---

Last night, I had a conversation with a friend on what would I say to myself 50 years from now and I thought back about the movie. Some of the things he envisioned in the movie did came true. A year after the movie, men landed on the moon. We can now do video conferencing and some of those tablet pcs the characters were holding also did actualize in our world now. I wonder how would Kubrick feel if he lived past 2001 and see these things we are doing now.

That said, I guess it would be nice that when I'm 74, I'd still have drive to do things I'm passionate about. Then die in my sleep beside my husband after finishing a great work, leaving something for the world.

New future

I've been looking at my past photos for a while now.

I was happy, I enjoyed my days, I loved school.

Now I hope for the same whatever the future may hold.

That I'd love my work, I'd be safe, I'd break boundaries.

My soul and time not be lost in the mundane.

Losing Attention

It is in recent months that has finally dawned to me that the spread of smart phones has infiltrated our lives. When I'm eating with friends, how many times can I see people facebooking on their phones or playing games even. When watching a movie, how many people would take out their phones and tingle with fb if not message for a while. I'm losing attention with people, people get more distracted these days. Whenever there's a little silence, people would just take out their phones and mingle with it. Maybe I'm just watching the world from my no-smartphone-to-take-over my life yet perspective. Who knows I may become somebody like that when I do get to own one. Soon. Tomorrow actually.

It is like we've all gotten some slight form of ADD seeking gratification in a new message surprise. I'm guilty myself when I'm using the com. It's such an easy escape out of any mundane work / awkward social situation. Addictive actually, to yearn seeing that red notification that you've gotten a message. But it sure has also shortened distances between people to a new level I suppose.

One of my favourite pastimes is stoning on the time capsule. Wonder if I'd become one of those people buried in their phones while waiting to reach their destinations. Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, but just putting this across to see how much will my habits change after I get one of these toys.

This is it.

Somehow I don't seem to feel it yet, the fact that I'm done with fyp, that my uni life is over. Maybe not until I'm done with my report and the Taipei concert with ntuco. Yeah, I'm finally graduating.

I remember my first day of school at ADM was Bridget's drawing class. One of the very first lines she said to us was that we're all sponges who're gona absorb everything we can. Then by the end of the program hopefully we'll squeeze out wonderful colours from ourselves and some remnants left behind by our professors.  


Now that I've finished my 4 years here in ADM, I'm proud to say that I've squeezed out my very own colours that I've mixed from all the things I learnt here. To end it shaking hands with CT saying he still has my portfolio from year 1, M who stopped to tell me that I did a great job, my own fyp supervisor who gave me a kiss on the cheek like how the French greet people at the end of the show. I'm happy.

I'm grateful for my friends too, who were there when I'm needy. One nocturnal giant whom I can rant to when I can't sleep. One craft maker who makes awesome things. One chauffeur who's always there when I needed a ride. One distracted frog, (sorry to call you a frog lol) who gave me inspiration for my rabbit when I was travelling on the "time capsule". All my friends who gave me buckets of oil, I feel so loveddd. :')

That's all for mushy thank yous.
Now I gotta finish my dreaded report.

This is my rationale talking.

So finally it has come to a point whereby I can't sleep thanks to stress over this effwhypee. Although telling myself over and over again that I won't be more productive if I don't sleep now which adds on to the stress over falling asleep. What do I do?

I can't deny that I'm so afraid of failing to meet expectations that I can't sleep.
I can't deny that it's because I've invited people to the show that adds on the thought of what if I can't deliver? I can't deny that the more people who said it'd be okay, the more stress I feel because what if it's not okay. The thought of disappointing my friends and ex-colleagues if I fail to make this work.. I am terrified.

So what can I do now to make myself less terrified?
To tell myself that it's okay that it's not the end of the world.
It's okay because failing is part of the process.
It's not like I'm really gona fail, I'm still gona deliver just that I don't have enough time to make it as nice as expectation.

The biggest enemy in the end is still myself, I'm the one who's failing myself right now. Why am I making myself miserable even when my fyp supervisor always says I'm doing a great job? I just walked out of her office the day before with her telling me that I'm on a whirlwind. Why am I not convinced that I'm doing a great job now? My friends will still be my friends even if I do fail to deliver. Why do I always have to scare the shit out of myself. I have a great concept. I'm binded by my own expectations. To think my whole project is about balance. So hello my emotional self, stop being paranoid. Accept failure. Fail gracefully. I know I will always pick myself up in the end like what I'm doing now. If I were to restart my fyp right now I think I'd do a topic on embracing failure. It's not that scary. There.



Strange that I'm finding solace in drawing my fyp despite it being the thing that's stressing me out. Guess I got over to the extreme end of my balance lever and I'm now walking back to the other end. Okay I feel better now, hope I fall asleep. I shall reward myself with a good sleep with no alarms set. Good night.

啊啊啊

除了天天催眠自己不到最后一分中绝对还有希望，一定做得到。我已经不知道要如何坚持下去了。谁叫我那么脑残，脑子生虫还是怎样，偏偏在这个不到20天的时候决定重画，自讨苦吃。我八成是完美主意吧，好像永远都不会对自己的作品感到满足。但又偏偏要失败几百万次才有这次的结论。虽然有比较满意，但如果做不完还不是等于零？不能往后看了，只能往前冲。

Self Psycho Monologue

I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can draw. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I can illustrate. I will imagine myself in a form of a rabbit. I will dig my way through. I will find my balance in alternate universes in the themes I've created. I can do anything if I managed to cram JLPT in 6 days and passed. I can do anything if I can create a 10 spread publication in 1 day. I can do anything if I psycho myself that I can do it. I will create a miracle and survive gunpoint in 20 more days. I can do it if I plan everything nicely now. I will be realistic and fulfill my expectations. I will find a reference point to base my illustration style on. I will convince myself that I can draw despite never drawing like this before. I can draw details. I can colour if I set my mind to. It will look more consistent now that I am going to create a character that will appear in the universes I've created. I will enjoy doing this more now that I've reasoned my illustration. Like how I did with the sizes. I will be happy and enjoy the process although it's difficult. I will fulfill my expectations to reality the best I can. I will not mope anymore. I will start by planning my days out and readjusting what I have to include the character in.

In a way I am adapting myself to another change again. Embrace that it's not working and rework on it.

NOW GO.

感慨

风雨交加，
睡不着觉。
感慨万分。
心如刀割。
就算是落地生根的坏习惯总有一天也一定要改。
毕竟世上没有永恒的事。
过了今晚我会好好的。
一定要。

輝く人 I

その顔で全力歌いた人が、何歳でも、キラキラにしては美しい。

Ling Sans

想去日本的心情

Out of excitement, I once mentioned to my friends, I wanted to visit Japan so much I could easily write a 500 word essay justifying why. Now that I'm pretty sure I won't be visiting Japan so soon, I thought maybe I should write down my insistence on heading there for a trip.

There's a quality about japanese things that inspire me. Its simple yet sometimes crazy even ideas, the comfortable look and feel of things (albeit of course not all styles are like that), the earthy light colours I most often see graphics in. A lot of my design idols are japanese, to name a few, the product designer that I worship the most is Naoto Fukasawa. I'm still in love with the watch he designed years ago. So timeless, I still desire to own it. There's also Kenya Hara, who's the art director of MUJI — my favourite shop that sells the most beautiful minimalistic things that looks only what's its needed to function. I love its concept of emptiness that's so zen. My favourite pop idol is still Kimura Takuya, because of his zesty perfectionist attitude towards his work, be it in acting, hosting, singing or dancing. Some of my favourite composers are japanese too. Heck, even my favourite video game is Final Fantasy.

I just want to see the place where my idols live.
To experience myself what is it in this place that shaped how my idols to be.
To perhaps even catch a glimpse of them before they grow old.

And of course, more of the things they made.
Gather more new things inspiring.

Maybe I've been influenced so much by japanese things around me, it has become a part of my life. From music to animations to dramas to books and movies of which I've watched, read and listened from the rectangle screen of my computer. I've had enough. I want to see them in a larger canvas, and step in the world that I've always watched on my screen.

Somehow I feel I'll gain something from this country even if it's not that fascinating as I picture right there in my head. But just thinking of seeing the birthplace of my favourite things excites me to no end. Just the zest I need to get back after draining so much of my soul for fyp.

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This is written so that in the future when I'm really going there, I won't forget these feelings I had for Japan at this point of time. Mm. I'll go there someday.

L'echec

This song is so beautiful.

L'echec (The Failure)

Artist: Yann Tiersen
Vocals: Yann Tiersen and Natacha Régnier

I would like to see our failure
Face to face one beautiful day
Scrutinize its very self
Distinguish its shape

And in the crude atmosphere
Of a town during summer
Slowly get away (from it)
And never cross paths with it ever again (I would like to)

Move amidst the crowd,
Be it a benevolent or antagonistic one
Making up jokes for once
In a supermarket

And, my arms full of groceries,
Realize that we finally overcame
Its (the failure's) shadow's boundaries

It will come back eventually,
the kind of morning where,
with delighted faces
We used to eat slices of bread

The window slightly opened
Before going to shower
Laughing because we were so late
Comparing to other people

And with a nonchalant pace
And a smile firmly in place
We will walk self-confidently
Into the familiar streets

Toward some place in the city,
Some unknown place,
To find again our failure,
And its shadow.

(Translated lyrics from a youtube commentator: Lyseven)

visual communication

21 years, living in this small island called Singapore leading a safe and contented life. What triggered me to study this creative field was the desire to create beautiful things. Yet this desire remains hungry to be filled, despite trying to figure this stomach out and filling in things for 4 years. What is lacking all these while that no matter how sometimes I want to work, it’d never turn out the way I desire it to be. Nah, never is too strong of a word, sometimes it did work didn’t it?

Can the mind be trained? To do what it lacks, to organize all these seeming impossible hopes and desires and slowly fulfilling them one by one. So many successful examples I wonder if I can be one of them. I can’t wait to grow up from my ignorance and start see the world, experience life.

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Sometimes I wonder the kind of discipline that we've been pushed right of now, we're on our way to become the kind of designers we all desire to be aint it?

The profs in my department have upped expectations a thousand level higher for our final projects this sem, I'm pretty much still at amateur level so to speak. To make something that I myself have no mental image of what the end product would look like, what kind of level is that. There's always this mysterious cloud of unknown translating thoughts in your head into something that you can see. But I'm still quite keen to experiment.
If by the end of year four I can figure all these out and reach my profs' level of thinking, I'd then become a really successful visual communicator wouldn't I? Whereby brain and hand beat together as one. I wana be as awesome as them.

I wrote this when I was in year 2. Now that I'm in year 4, I don't think I've exactly felt what I hoped I would be at this stage. I still feel lacking the skills I need to articulate. My brain seemed to have a growing spurt the past 2 years that my hands couldn't keep up with. I feel empty inside because my soul has been poured into my works. Again, I have barely a vague image what my project outcome would look like and I'm still a long way despite a short schedule to reach there.

I have to run. I have to run real fast. I'm tired but I must run. Run and finish this race. I hope I'll grow up a little after this race.

Pause

Why do I always have to squeeze my soul dry for fyp.
So tiring. Can't it be fun with no expectations? Long gone is my excitement for doing a project of my own. Can I get it back?

The Artist

When I first read about this movie in a magazine — A black and white silent film made in our time. I knew I just had to watch it. How awesome is that, for somebody to be bringing the old silent back in this age where everyone's going forward with 3D, effects and all. I can watch a silent film in a CINEMA, not youtube but high quality, huge screen presented in the format just like films of the past. Just the thought excited me a little, and I've read reviews that it's good so I went.

Definition of a silent film (from wiki) "A silent film is a film with no synchronized recorded sound, especially with no spoken dialogue.""Showings of silent films almost always featured live music, starting with the pianist at the first public projection of movies" So a silent movie doesn't mean it's silent completely, there's music at times.

The story is set in the late 1920s to early 30s, the transition period between the end of silent films and the talkies(sound) came into movies. A melodrama about a popular silent film actor George Valentin who refused to come to terms with technology (the inclusion of voice in acting and sounds) and a budding young actress who's in love with this silly man. There's also the clever dog too who took some of the spotlight. To provide some history, many silent film actors lost their jobs when sound came into movies. It changed the acting because now that the actors can talk there's no longer the need to mug or move so much to get the audience's attention. They had to adapt to that. Another point is the image of the silent star would also change if he speaks.

It's a different experience watching a silent in a cinema. The actors have to dramatize their movements. When they smile, they put on their widest shiniest grin. It just seems to make everything happy. And when they're sad, the whole world seems to be crashing down, it rains, makes you wana go "awwww" for them. Although the lack of sound and words (though not completely), the set sometimes plays a commentary role that I laughed and aww-ed to myself for its apt use of words. There was this scene I remember where Valentin was walking dejectedly on the road and passed by a cinema called the Lonely Star. That "Lonely Star" was definitely referring to George Valentin.

Well here's the trailer if you're interested to check it out.

The Invention of Hugo Cabret

Just a short 30 minutes ago, I finished a book called "The Invention of Hugo Cabret" by Brian Selznick recommended by my dear friend potternuts a day ago who asked me whether I know a certain picture. Back a few more days ago, I remember a certain "Hugo" movie was mentioned during one of my conversations with another friend. Afterwhich I soon realise the connection, the movie was based off this book. These are reasons strong enough to convince me to read this.



Beautiful cover ain't it?
I got it off the book shelf from my school library the next day.

"The Invention of Hugo Cabret" concerns a 12-year-old orphan who lives in the walls of a Paris train station in 1930 and a mystery involving the boy, his late father and a robot. (from imdb)

I think this is as much I want to say about the story to prevent spoilers. Reading the book/watching the movie without any expectations offers the best experience. I didn't know I was little spoiled of the story after watching the trailer and reading some of the reviews online that I slowly made sense as I read. But anyway I'll just continue to write about my two cents of this book.


Each page of the book is framed by black rims, like a cinema in a book form presenting the story in black and white, imitating one of those black and white films in the days of early 1930s where the story is set in. Like the pictures you see above, words were on a page on its own and the illustrations in a full page, frame by frame. Each page zooming in to see the character's expressions. In this book illustrations serve more than guiding the reader's imagination, it tells the story as well. Again the distinction between visuals and words reminded me of the inter titles in a silent film. Marvelous book form to stage the story.

It is definitely more than a children's book as it exposes the reader's to early cinema's beginnings. I couldn't be more glad for being in film history classes when I see references to those early shorts I've seen being introduced in a story like this. There even was a small tribute to "The Train Arrives in the Station", one of the earliest films ever shown in film history.

"In 1895, one of the very first films ever shown was called A Train Arrives in the Station, which was nothing more than what the title suggests, a train coming into a station. But when the train came speeding toward the screen, the audience screamed and fainted because they thought they were in danger of being run over. No one had ever seen anything like it before. ― An excerpt from the book "

Okay, read more to find out! If you're not familiar with film history, I'm sure you'd be fascinated after reading the book. Or catch the movie coming up in March in our local cinemas.



To end off this post I present this quote that pretty much tells why people make movies.

If you've ever wondered where your dreams come from when you go to sleep at night, just look around. This is where they are made. ― Brian Selznick. The Invention of Hugo Cabaret