Even with time,

Whatever bad memories you went through, will always stay with you.

西部的天空

记得有一次跟某友人说过，东部的天空好像比较大。住在西部的我不曾记得这里的天空有怎样，都被组屋遮挡住了感觉好像比较小。今天骑着脚车走新的路线，第一次看见一片好辽阔的天空，而且还离我家不远。许多美好的东西似乎好像一直都在，只是没发现。

It is so easy to forget.
What I wanted to do.
What I used to fight for.
What I used to persist.
How do you find something that will make you feel so strongly for?

没感觉，真的没感觉。
工作之后好像少了点灵魂似的。

幸せになりますか？

I guess working again has awakened me somehow of a bleak image I have of my future. It is as close to the real work life I might be having in the near future. For now, everyday I look forward to go home to eat dinner and watch TV with my Dad, watch the next drama on my list etc, feeling too tired to do anything else. Plus my long distance travel to and fro work takes away 3 precious hours of my life.

This leads me to a conclusion that I ought to have some sort of "life" after work. Be it anything like love, family, friends or hobbies kind of thing to support what you work for? Even though I may like my job, something is still missing. I have no soul after work, it's always tired. It might eventually become a mundane routine and my soul will be like a void zombie.

Life is too short to be wasted like that.
I don't want to have any regrets when I die.
When I die, I want to die a happy old woman.

(Here's an inspiring article on the regrets people have on their deathbed. )

School vs. Work

This's my 3rd attempt at internship and every time I have something like this, a part of my life seemed to have sucked out leaving me a little empty inside. I do like my job this time, so what could be the problem?

Because I love school, I'm gona try to think in a case that I like my job but what could make me unhappy. If I compare a working life as to a school life though I'm doing similar things, the differences are:

1. You work in a restrained environment.
Eg1. You can't say take a nap while brainstorming ideas.
Eg2. There is no bed in the office.

Eg3. You are constantly monitored by your supervisor on your progress.

2. You can't afford to fail because you are a professional and not a student. It would cost a lot more to fail than a fail grade. When you fail as a student your morale drops, when you fail as a professional it costs you your morale and money.

3. Lack of movement.

When doing work, chances are you don't get to move around much other than your seat and to the toilet/pantry. But in school at least we move around when changing classes. It makes me depress to keep doing work at the same spot and the trip to the toilet only takes me 10 steps.

4. Peers.

The fun thing about school is that your classmates are all your age so there's more common topics under the sun. But in the working world, this is often not the case.

5. Holidays.

There's at least 3 months and 2 weeks of holidays in a year for me, as a student but what about the working adult? I'm not sure how much leave one is entitled to have but it is definitely lesser than a student.

6. Working hours.

Although students have homework to bring home to do, setting time to do it is entirely flexible and most often, probably less than 8 hours per day. Though there are often times also that we rush our assignments the whole day, we can rest when the deadline's over. But the working adult works at least STRAIGHT 8 hours a day and sometimes, if not most of the time, work overtime. Leaving little time for "me time" which I feel is one of the most important reasons why a working life is so boring.

7. Learning vs. Making Money for the Company

A student studies to learn whereas the working adult works to earn money. Which aim is more fulfilling? A repeating homework won't appear in a student's life while tasks for the employee could repeat, if not often. If you work in a factory, repetition tasks are even more apparent.

8. Working in a company makes one tire far more easily than learning.

Even if I did nothing in the company the whole day, it makes me tired far more than chionging assignments probably due to the reasons above.

After you graduate from being a student, this is it, you work for the rest of your life till you can't work anymore. How did human kind evolve themselves to dedicate so much of their lives "working"?