It's A Dirty Job

Any Ladys Looking For Some Oral ?

My girlfriend wont let me give her oral so im looking for a girl to eat out between the ages of 18-25 im 6 and a half feet tall work wonders with my hands if you like a guy who goes to work and comes home with dirty and cut up hands im your guy! Sam

Sam, do you ever notice clicking noises when you walk around town?

That's neither grasshoppers nor gossiping Nbele tribesman my friend, it's the sound of every woman in a 25-foot radius of you locking their vaginas shut with the latest of Schlage's orifice security technology.

You could tie those locked female legs to two horses and have them charge in opposite directions, and those legs would stay sealed shut like an Oscars envelope. You're that disgusting.

Luckily I'm quite a ladies man. Not in that they'll have ever sex with me, but I'm lucky to share in some of their intimate conversations on occasion as we have pillowfights, trade bras, and giggle over the latest issue of Teen Beat magazine. Oh, the things they tell me.

Did you know that if you shower every day but don't wash your balls, your taint will smell like someone put a bag of river smelt in a breadbox and left it out in the Cairo sun for a fortnight?

Did you know if you plug your tongue down her throat like your mining for bauxite in her spleen on the first kiss, you'll never even see her kneecaps in the light of day?

And finally, did you know women would rather gargle a glass of rusty fishhooks than let a man put his dirty, and for the love of God, cut up, hands inside of her?

Here's an idea. Try sticking your dirty, cut up fingers into your own ass, and watch it involuntarily pucker itself shut like a bank vault.