I have a great-grandma that is 96 years old now.
she is currently bedridden and has to rely on others all the time. tasks that she can do now are breathing and eating. with the body functions deteriorating at an unpredictable rate, we do not know when she will leave us. mentally and emotionally I am suppose to be prepared for her to go anytime.
knowing that she is the one that bathe me for the first time when I arrived in this world, I wish now that she can hold my hands firmly again. she always tells me about the importance of gaining knowledge, about how I should learn to be a strong girl and about how I should make my parents proud by being a good girl. as I grow older I start to know her more, she used to be a strong person too! and she lived with pride all her life...
all the way up till these few years where she had to move around with the aid of a walking stick. now she survives on formula and medications just to maintain the organs' functions. no longer being able to speak clearly, the only way of communication whenever I see her is through holding her hands and speaking from the heart. every word she speaks now uses enormous amount of energy.
despite her inability, she still tells me to buck up in my studies and live my life properly. she lived her life caring for everyone around her. true enough that 'because you love, you care', now I am so scared that this love of mine will be parting me soon.
Tuesday, March 30
Saturday, March 27
Earth Hour
60 minutes of switching off lights.
did you support this act? basically not much of a point since people are just switching off lights but still using laptops, teevee, fans, air-cons, hi-fis and ten thousand other electronic gadgets. well, I did not switch on any of the lights or fans in my house, but the teevee was on standby mode and the astro decoder was on. in addition the fridge was still running because obviously CANNOT turn that off if not I will have nothing to eat.
irony of the irony, do you think the street lamps will be switched off? HAHA.
did you support this act? basically not much of a point since people are just switching off lights but still using laptops, teevee, fans, air-cons, hi-fis and ten thousand other electronic gadgets. well, I did not switch on any of the lights or fans in my house, but the teevee was on standby mode and the astro decoder was on. in addition the fridge was still running because obviously CANNOT turn that off if not I will have nothing to eat.
irony of the irony, do you think the street lamps will be switched off? HAHA.
Sunday, March 21
他们说，这样的女生很真
有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静，很冷漠，
在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
并喜欢一咋一呼的说：“滚，滚蛋，坏蛋，笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁，她只是很单纯的认为，
大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑，表示更亲切，更不分你我。
这一种女孩子不谈恋爱，只在姐妹间游荡
即使有不错的朋友，她还是无奈的笑笑
其实她只是在不能确定自己付出的前提下
不会接受，因为不想伤害。
这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
也会幻想，也会羡慕，
幻想着将来自己的恋爱
该是多么的帅气，多么的温柔，多么的甜蜜
这一种女孩子，
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
即使没有男朋友，
在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！
这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
朋友问她怎么了 她也只会说没事
其实她只是感觉累了，
她只是需要一个拥抱。
这种女孩子不会轻易恋爱，恋爱了一定会好好珍惜。
她会骄傲的拉着他的手大街小逛，
不要认为她放肆，
她只是答应过姐妹们幸福要大家一块分享。
这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！
这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
她一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情，
她其实很爱你，但是卑微的爱情她不要，
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！
这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
大声的笑，放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了，苦笑一声：没想到我还会为一个男的哭。
若你遇到了这样的女孩，
如果你们是朋友，请原谅她平日的不理不睬，
其实她只是不会社交，不敢打扰，
你想想你的每一次邀约，她拒绝过你。
如果你喜欢上她，请你不要说出来，
因为她很幼稚，你会吓跑她。
原谅她的冷漠，
她只是怕伤害你！
若她喜欢上你，请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她没有更多的要求，不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你，
当你的观众，仅此而已。
如果你们已经在一起了，
请你好好珍惜她。
这样的女孩子、太傻，
请你别让她受伤。
这一种女孩子就以这样的方式生活着，
她有她的梦想，她的希望。
一个如花儿般的女孩子，
她时而快乐，时而忧伤；
时而郁闷，时而疯狂；
时而邪恶，时而善良；
时而脆弱，时而坚强！
你可以说她傻，也可以骂她笨，也可以说她冷，
但是她们还是生活在自己的世界里，
希望做一个幸福、善良的孩子！
在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
并喜欢一咋一呼的说：“滚，滚蛋，坏蛋，笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁，她只是很单纯的认为，
大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑，表示更亲切，更不分你我。
这一种女孩子不谈恋爱，只在姐妹间游荡
即使有不错的朋友，她还是无奈的笑笑
其实她只是在不能确定自己付出的前提下
不会接受，因为不想伤害。
这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
也会幻想，也会羡慕，
幻想着将来自己的恋爱
该是多么的帅气，多么的温柔，多么的甜蜜
这一种女孩子，
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
即使没有男朋友，
在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！
这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
朋友问她怎么了 她也只会说没事
其实她只是感觉累了，
她只是需要一个拥抱。
这种女孩子不会轻易恋爱，恋爱了一定会好好珍惜。
她会骄傲的拉着他的手大街小逛，
不要认为她放肆，
她只是答应过姐妹们幸福要大家一块分享。
这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！
这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
她一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情，
她其实很爱你，但是卑微的爱情她不要，
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！
这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
大声的笑，放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了，苦笑一声：没想到我还会为一个男的哭。
若你遇到了这样的女孩，
如果你们是朋友，请原谅她平日的不理不睬，
其实她只是不会社交，不敢打扰，
你想想你的每一次邀约，她拒绝过你。
如果你喜欢上她，请你不要说出来，
因为她很幼稚，你会吓跑她。
原谅她的冷漠，
她只是怕伤害你！
若她喜欢上你，请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她没有更多的要求，不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你，
当你的观众，仅此而已。
如果你们已经在一起了，
请你好好珍惜她。
这样的女孩子、太傻，
请你别让她受伤。
这一种女孩子就以这样的方式生活着，
她有她的梦想，她的希望。
一个如花儿般的女孩子，
她时而快乐，时而忧伤；
时而郁闷，时而疯狂；
时而邪恶，时而善良；
时而脆弱，时而坚强！
你可以说她傻，也可以骂她笨，也可以说她冷，
但是她们还是生活在自己的世界里，
希望做一个幸福、善良的孩子！
Saturday, March 20
big picture
I am retaking units this semester. so literal meaning is that I have been through the syllabus before and am doing it AGAIN. assignments, lectures, tutorials and most importantly understanding.
sitting in tutorials nowadays, it is understandable why I seem to know what is going on. I have gone through the tutorial discussions and prepared for the unit a year ago. so sitting at the insignificant corner I am allowed to look at things from a different perspective. yes, now I finally get the big picture of many things, especially how our moans sounded like in front of others.
then I thought (during lecture while listening to neighbors commenting on how hard third year subjects are) of the many point of views that one can hold, how each and everyone of us look at this world can modify our believes. yet again who are we to comment on the blackness or whiteness when we are nothing but beings in this grey dimension?
sitting in tutorials nowadays, it is understandable why I seem to know what is going on. I have gone through the tutorial discussions and prepared for the unit a year ago. so sitting at the insignificant corner I am allowed to look at things from a different perspective. yes, now I finally get the big picture of many things, especially how our moans sounded like in front of others.
then I thought (during lecture while listening to neighbors commenting on how hard third year subjects are) of the many point of views that one can hold, how each and everyone of us look at this world can modify our believes. yet again who are we to comment on the blackness or whiteness when we are nothing but beings in this grey dimension?
Friday, March 19
transition
continuing my life story from my previous blog, I am now at a whole new site.
a little bit about myself now that I just turned twenty-one. doing my last semester with 2 remaining units, still single and available, lazy towards participating in the workforce. may be very serious in front of strangers but totally different if one tries to know me. wish for as many chance as possible to look at this world, from as much perspectives as possible.
this blog has no tag board, so you are welcome to leave comments at the end of every post. I am trying to see which is better (tag board/comment page).
a little bit about myself now that I just turned twenty-one. doing my last semester with 2 remaining units, still single and available, lazy towards participating in the workforce. may be very serious in front of strangers but totally different if one tries to know me. wish for as many chance as possible to look at this world, from as much perspectives as possible.
this blog has no tag board, so you are welcome to leave comments at the end of every post. I am trying to see which is better (tag board/comment page).
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