This kind of tired

When I was a kid and my mom had headed back to college to finish her degree, she seemed to always be tired.  She would pull up to a stop light, tell us to wake her when the light changed to green, lay back and close her eyes.  Within seconds, she would be breathing loudly.  I wondered how she could be to sleep so quickly...

When I was hitting my growth spurts in high school and would come home from school, collapse on the couch, sleep for a few hours, eat and go back to sleep... I thought I was tired.

When I was in college and stayed up half the night because I had procrastinated TOO long and I refused to turn my paper in late and I knew I HAD to make that 8 am class because I couldn't risk my scholarship... I thought I was tired.

When I had newborns and I was up half the night with midnight, and 2am, and 4 am, and 6 am nursing sessions... I thought I was tired.

But this semester - this semester is about to do me in...
I realize that I am teaching and working on a thesis and trying to be the best mom and girlfriend out there and (occasionally) cake decorating... BUT this kind of tired ... this kind of tired makes me want to sleep at stop lights.

Just sayin'

If you're gonna do it, make it worth your while

Back a year ago, my supervising professor and I sat down to discuss my thesis topic.  I really had no idea as to what I wanted to do and I can now say that my brain was not prepared at that time to answer that question.

So, she suggested a topic and I went with it.  It was something I could easily observe in my school district.  I didn't love the topic, but it had components that interested me.  (At the time, I also didn't know I needed to love my topic...)

In my class last spring, I did my literature review as part of a class I was in.  I had NO idea what I was doing or for that matter WHY I was doing it.  I was given criteria and I followed them.  (I was definitely playing the "schooling game.")

Here comes this semester...  I'm taking a research methodology class... It explains WHY I did everything last semester and why I was wrong with a good portion of it. :/

So, I revised... and revised... and revised some more.

Tonight I sat down with my professor to talk about my topic - He asked me why I was passionate about my topic.  I explained.  Then he said, "So if your passion is technology and elementary school students, why are you going to observe high school students??"

I explained that it was because my students hadn't received the technology yet...
I told him everything I am doing this year to get them ready for it for next year... How most nights I don't sleep because I am up researching just trying to find any information I can about it.

He looked at me and smiled.  "I think you have your research topic right there."