Misc

White House petition news: A petition asked Obama to acknowledge that extraterrestrials have visited the earth. The White House refuses. The cover-up continues.

Charles Pierce describes Twitt Romney as “a man who could be mugged for his wallet through the mail”.

Every day now I see stories about Berlusconi denying that he’s about to quit. This is ridiculous. Berlusconi’s whole strategy for staying out of prison is to hold onto political power and abuse it to distort the already distorted Italian criminal justice system. Of course he won’t leave power voluntarily.

Hugo Chavez calls Carlos the Jackal “a dignified bearer of the biggest struggles,” because if there’s one thing Hugo Chavez is an expert on, it’s dignity.

I’m always of two minds when “missing” film footage turns up, unless it’s from Greed or Metropolis. That said, 17 extra minutes of 2001: A Space Odyssey is one thing, the missing “flaming nipples” scene from Blue Velvet quite another.

Headline of the Day Not Involving Herman Cain (AP): “Peacocks, Prostitutes Found Inside Acapulco Prison.”

At various times today, AP headlines on Cain spoke of his “bold sexual advance” or more specifically “Woman Accuses Cain of Reaching for Genitals,” boldly. The Guardian daintily refers to “sexually inappropriate conduct.”

Herman Cain Accuser #4, Ms. Bialek, is white. NOW he’s over. #LikeYouWeren’tThinkingTheSameThing

Headline of the Day

AP: “Poll: Chavez’s Cancer Not Affecting Popularity.”

No, cancer is still pretty unpopular.

Achieving unity in South America

Hugo Chavez went to Bolivia yesterday. When he arrived, he only looked a little bit silly.


That would never do.

Chavez said, “I take the opportunity to reaffirm the determination, which grows stronger every day, of achieving unity in South America.” For example, here he is achieving unity with Evo Morales.


What do you have to chew to be able to wear such an outfit in public? Coca leaves.


Lots of coca leaves.

Everyone’s a critic

Hugo Chavez gave Obama a copy of Eduardo Galeano’s “Open Veins of Latin America: Five Centuries of the Pillage of a Continent.” John McCain, just to be a dick, twitters this helpful book review: “Chavez’s book - best cure for insomnia!!”

Obama meets Chavez

At the Summit of the Americas. CAPTION CONTEST!

There will be ample opportunity to debate the origins of this problem

McCain said that if he were president, he’d fire Christopher Cox, the chair of the SEC.

Presidents do not have the power to fire the chair of the SEC.

Reached for comment, George Bush just said, “Chairman Cox,” then giggled helplessly for ten minutes.

McCain has a new ad today saying that, “on the biggest financial issue of the day,” Obama would not say if he supported the AIG bailout. McCain, of course, has had more than enough positions on that issue this week for the both of them.


Human Rights Watch accused Hugo Chavez of human rights abuses. So he threw them out of the country, which was possibly intended as ironic commentary.

This morning, Bush gave a 1,270-word speech about the economy. In the afternoon, he gave a 1,209-word speech about the Boston Celtics. Somehow he seemed happier at the latter. Maybe Ben Bernanke should have given him a basketball and a jersey with the number 43 on it.







He also sounded more engaged and like he might actually have known what he was talking about.

Not that he feels that knowing anything about, say, how this financial crisis occurred, might be of any particular use in getting out of this financial crisis. “There will be ample opportunity to debate the origins of this problem. Now is the time to solve it.”

Caption contest:

I’m convinced most people don’t want to try to sneak into America to work

Today Bush spoke, bilingually, to the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. He brought much of the Cabinet with him. “These are people who are here to put an exclamation point on the subject I’m going to discuss with you today.” Including one of those cute little upside-downy ones y’all got.

He spent most of the speech pushing for ratification of the free-trade agreement with Colombia. He did this in two ways: 1) he said it would be a reward to Colombia for allegedly being a democracy and not hating the US too much, 2) he claimed free trade creates freedom, because it has the word free right in it; see where it says “free trade”? “Trade also serves a broader strategic purpose. When we enter into free trade agreements, we reinforce commitments to democracy, and transparency, and rule of law. ... In other words, trade helps democracies flourish”.


He contrasted the fine democracy of Colombia with the regime (he used the word three times) in Venezuela. See if you can spot the crucial fact he leaves out of this account:

Earlier this month, Colombian forces killed one of FARC’s most senior leaders -- a man believed to be responsible for trafficking cocaine and murdering hundreds of people. And the response to all this action reveals the challenges that Colombia faces. The President of Venezuela praised the terrorist leader as a ‘good revolutionary,’ and ordered his troops to the Colombian border.

Yes, he forgot to mention that Colombian forces assassinated Raul Reyes in Ecuador, not Colombia, without which tiny detail you might wonder why Chavez got so worked up.


What else has Venezuela done? “[S]enior regime officials have met with FARC leaders in Venezuela.” You mean when they were negotiating for the release of hostages at the express invitation of Colombia’s government?

Here’s my favorite sentence: “the region is facing an increasingly stark choice: to quietly accept the vision of the terrorists and the demagogues, or to actively support democratic leaders like President Uribe.” Just as he liked to conflate Saddam Hussein and Al Qaida, here he is claiming that Chavez (one of those “demagogues”) shares the exact same “vision” as the terrorists.


WHAT NEIGHBORS ARE WORRYING ABOUT: “There’s neighbors worrying about neighbors losing jobs.”

HE’S GOT AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “The more choices available, the better it is for a consumer. The more competition it is for a product, the less likely it is the price will rise.”

CATCHY: “You know, some have called for a ‘timeout’ from trade. I guess that’s probably popular with the focus group. You know, they toss out the word ‘timeout’ from trade -- it’s got this kind of catchy little title to it.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, we’re focusing money to help people get the skills necessary to fill the jobs that are available in America. And when you get education, you’re a more productive worker, which means you’re going to get paid more money. That’s what that means.” He’s got an MBA, you know.

WHAT HE’S CONVINCED OF: “I’m convinced most people don’t want to try to sneak into America to work.”

YOU SAY POTATO, I SAY REFRIED BEANS, LET’S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF: “It’s mutually beneficial for Canada, the United States and America -- I mean, Mexico.”

A full day in the United States Senate

Elections, elections. Chavez’s referendum lost “for now,” as he put it, words he famously used after the failure of his 1992 coup attempt, when he had surrendered and was allowed to broadcast a call for the other coup commanders (Chavez surrendered first) to do the same. He seems rather subdued today, considering 51% of the electorate have turned out to be “traitors,” as he called opponents of the referendum last week.

And Putin’s party “wins” the Russian parliamentary elections. Wouldn’t a straightforward dictatorship without the trappings of election which fool no one just be simpler? Or hold the election, but make up the results, as in Chechnya where there was a 99% turnout and a 99% vote for United Russia. Instead, they went to really a lot of effort to coerce millions of people into getting absentee ballots and filling them out as directed. Seems like a lot of wasted effort to me, but perhaps threatening people and breaking up demonstrations is just how they stay warm.

Andrei Lugovoi, the man believed to have murdered Alexander Litvinenko with polonium, has been elected to the Duma, gaining parliamentary immunity. Hurrah for democracy!

Bush made another little speech attacking Congress this morning for not doing his bidding fast enough on the budget, Telecom amnesty, warrantless electronic surveillance, and the alternative minimum tax. He even made a little joke: “In a political maneuver designed to block my ability to make recess appointments, congressional leaders arranged for a senator to come in every three days or so, bang a gavel, wait for about 30 seconds, bang a gavel again, and then leave. Under the Senate rules, this counts as a full day. If 30 seconds is a full day, no wonder Congress has got a lot of work to do.” He’s just jealous that they get to bang a gavel and he doesn’t. And because if they gave him one, it would take him a full day just to figure out how to make it work.

Now if he could only find some other sort of symbol...

Sectors hiding toilet paper

Hugo Chavez threatens to nationalize Spanish banks operating in Venezuela unless the king of Spain apologizes for telling him to shut up. This follows his intemperate exchange of words with Uribe. Venezuela will hold a vote tomorrow for Chavez’s referendum for a raft of sweeping presidential powers and an end to presidential term limits (Chavez said yesterday “If God gives me life and help, I will be at the head of the government until 2050,” when he will be 95), with the term being extended to a not-very-democratic seven years. Also, the voting age would be dropped to 16. And the working day and week reduced. And lots of other things, all stuffed into a single yes or no vote. Bloomberg News says, though I haven’t seen it elsewhere, that Chavez is threatening to resign if the referendum fails.

The Chavez administration is accusing – and it wouldn’t surprise me – business leaders of creating the shortages of recent weeks to influence the vote. The finance minister says, “We know there are sectors hiding toilet paper.”

In contrast to George Bush’s speech on HIV/AIDS yesterday, Laura Bush’s piece in the WaPo does actually mention gay (and bisexual) men. So although it’s against the strict policy of this blog to give credit where credit is due, I will give her credit for that. Elsewhere in the paper, the WaPo notes that George “chose to emphasize only the role of about 20 percent of the contractors, which come from the religious community.”

Headline of the day, AP: “Maine Town Honoring Earmuff Inventor.”

Wherein George Bush reveals the lesson of Iraq

Friday, you’ll remember, Dick Cheney referred to Hugo Chavez as leading Peru. Chavez responds that this shows that the US is run by “a bunch of ignorant fools.” And your point is?

French President Sarkozy addresses the US Congress, says, “We love America,” mutters under his breath, “It’s just the damned Americans we detest.”

Bush was interviewed by German television today.

They ask if the “nuclear threat” posed by Iran now, with its complete lack of nuclear weapons, is greater or less than the threat Iraq, with its complete lack of weapons of mass destructed, posed 6 years ago. Bush responded with his characteristic command of verb tenses: “I think they were both dangerous. I think both of them could have been solved diplomatically. ... And I think they’re both dangerous. And I think therefore the lesson of Iraq is that we can work together and solve questions peacefully now.” See, and you didn’t think he’d learned the lesson of Iraq.

“And hopefully we can and hopefully we can keep pressure on the Iranians to say, one, we respect your people; two, we respect your history; but your government is making decisions that are isolating your country.” We can keep pressure on them by respecting their people and history?

Was he serious about the World War III line? “Oh, absolutely serious. I said, if you want to avoid World War III. I didn’t say I’m for World War III.” You didn’t have to say it. “If you want to see World War III, you know, a way to do that is to attack Israel with a nuclear weapon.” How many nuclear weapons would you recommend?

“In other words, I -- I’ve committed our troops into harm’s way twice, and it’s not a pleasant experience because I understand the consequences firsthand.” Well okay, secondhand. Okay, thirdhand... “And so I owe it to the American people to say that I’ve tried to solve this problem diplomatically.” Yes, saying that is the very least you can do.

On Putin: “My hope, of course, is I’ve tried to work with him as best as I can...” As best as you can, that’s the problem. “...to understand the checks and balances. And democracy requires a certain balance in society. And I would hope that he would make decisions that enhanced institutional reform, enhanced the institutions necessary for a free society. As I say, sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn’t.” Note that by “listens,” he means “does what I tell him to do.” It’s a truly arrogant choice of word.

He is fascinated by the differences between Germany and America. Did you know they speak German instead of American over there? “[T]hat’s an interesting difference between, say, Germany and America. We’ve been attacked. We feel like another attack is coming”. The interviewer reminded him that Germans had some concept of what the fear of being attacked is like, with the Cold War and the Iron Curtain and all.

Asked what his legacy will be: “And that I helped this country protect itself, and at the same time was unashamed, unabashed at spreading certain values to others -- the main one being liberty, whether it be the freedom from forms of government or the freedom from disease and hunger.” Freedom from forms of government? I knew he was secretly an anarchist, I knew it.

Our purposes in this world are good and right

Bush went to South Carolina today to give a speech at the Basic Combat Training Graduation Ceremony at Fort Jackson. He was met at the airport by 1st Lt. Andrew Kinard, who just returned to SC himself after nearly a year in the hospital.


Bush does not seem to have invited Lt. Kinard to come along with him to Fort Jackson. Funny, that.

Bush had a good reason to go to Fort Jackson. “I’m pleased to be here with you and to have a chance to say: ‘Hoo-ah!’” It was the most sensible thing he said.


IN OTHER OSAMA BIN LADEN WORDS: “Osama bin Laden -- who has to hide in caves because the United States is on his tail understands, has said publicly that al Qaeda’s recent setbacks are mistakes -- the result of mistakes that al Qaeda has made. In other words, he recognizes the inevitable -- that the United States of America and those who long for peace in Iraq, the Iraqi citizens, will not tolerate thugs and killers in their midst.”


Bush has irrefutable proof that we are winning in Iraq: “Here’s what this progress means to one shopkeeper in the former al Qaeda stronghold of Arab Jabour. He’s a local butcher. He says that as recently as June, he was selling only one or two sheep per week. Now, the terrorists cleaned out and residents returning home, he’s selling one or two sheep per day.” Wow! This war has been totally worth it!


GEORGE KNOWS WHAT’S IN OUR INTEREST: “It’s in our interest we deny safe haven to killers who at one time killed us in America.”


Dick Cheney was also out and about today, giving a speech to the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth. He quoted that John Nance Garner line about the vice presidency not being worth a bucket of warm spit, but said “I guess they didn’t have Air Force Two back then.” What’s he saying? The vice presidency isn’t worth an Air Force Two of warm spit? Air Force Two is one giant spittoon? I don’t get it.

He praised the American Imperium: “As much as a nation of influence, we are a nation of character. And that sets us apart from so many of the great powers of history -- from ancient empires to the expansionist regimes of the last century. We’re a superpower that has moral commitments and ideals that we not only proclaim, but act upon. Our purposes in this world are good and right.” Right, we’re nothing like any of the previous empires, none of which ever said exactly the same things about themselves.

Asked whether American interest in the Middle East had anything to do with oil, he said the fact that we invaded Afghanistan, which has no oil, proves that we didn’t go into the Middle East because of oil. Quod erat demonstrandum.


He later denied the possibility or value of the US becoming energy-independent, saying, “it would be, I think, unreasonable to expect that we would not be integrated with the rest of the world’s economy where energy is consumed.” “Integrated.” Such a nice word for it.

Asked a question about Hugo Chavez of Venezuela (which is how the questioner phrased it), he said, “My own personal view is that he does not represent the future of Latin America, and the people of Peru I think deserve better in their leadership.” Don’t we all. Don’t we all.

No title immediately suggests itself for this post

Follow-up: fans of sex, especially sex between strangers who meet over the internet, will be happy to hear that the British transport police inspector who had sex while on duty, but kept his earpiece in the entire time in case of emergencies (which is one definition of safe sex, I suppose), was acquitted of wilful misconduct. The jury deliberated only 10 minutes, half as long as the sexual encounter.

Forgot to mention one thing in my previous post: Giuliani claimed in his article that the US was on the verge of winning the Vietnam War in 1972 because it had recently changed its tactics, just like, you know, the Surge, but then we lost our nerve and pulled out just like Democrats want to do now... That was the point when my eyeballs started to bleed.

Hugo Chavez is proposing various changes to the Venezuelan constitution, including ending the independence of the Central Bank, a 6-hour work day, nationalization by executive order, without the involvement of the courts, the creation of a “popular militia,” and, of course, ending term limits for the office of president and extending the length of those terms to 7 years. But he insists that this is actually all about real democracy and “people power” – although anyone who opposes him, “without exception, is... aligned with the interests of the empire.”

Gen. David Petraeus insists that the killing of all those Yazidis was the work of Al Qaida in Iraq. He offers no proof.

The Danish Minister of Culture, Brian Mikkelson, visiting Ireland, apologizes for the Viking raids on that country in the 8th and 9th centuries. Gen. David Petraeus insists those raids were actually the work of Al Qaida in Scandinavia.

A question of national dignity

Hugo Chavez asks, “How long are we going to allow a person -- from any country in the world -- to come to our own house to say there’s a dictatorship here, that the president is a tyrant, and nobody does anything about it? ... It cannot be allowed - it is a question of national dignity.” So he promises to expel any foreign national who criticizes him. That’ll show ‘em he’s not a tyrant.

Also, he said that his proposal to abolish term limits applies only to his office, because he is involved in “national integration,” and not to mayors, governors, etc, because what they do is partisan politics.

Our collateral damage allowance is zero

Chavez gave another of those speeches which every broadcaster was required to transmit, in which he offered a little media criticism to the last remaining opposition network, or as he called them, “enemies of the homeland”: “I recommend they take a tranquiliser, that they slow down, because if not, I’m going to slow them down.” Globovision covered the protests against the closing of RCTV or, as Chavez is calling them, “this new fascist attack.” In its first day, the state-run TVES which replaced RCTV evidently aired an anti-capitalist Pinocchio cartoon. The mind boggles.

Saw a bit of TVES on YouTube, though not the Pinocchio bit. Those Venezuelans do love to roll their R’s, don’t they?

Brig. Gen. Bill Hyatt, the highest US Air Force officer in Afghanistan, says that they really do try not to bomb too many civilians. “Our collateral damage allowance is zero.” He added, “If we’ve got bad guys but all of a sudden there’s a school next door and there are kids next door, we’re not going to bomb.” In my experience, schools don’t generally materialize all of a sudden next door. Possibly it’s an Afghan thing.

Also in Afghanistan, our Military Name of the Week, a Dutch NATO commander: Major General Ton van Loon. Oh, I’m sure his is a distinguished, even hallowed name in the Netherlands, but outside of it... well, just see if this sounds authoritative to you: “‘If you don’t have a comprehensive approach in Afghanistan, you will not make progress,’ van Loon said.”

This Doesn’t End Here

RCTV indeed went off the air, replaced, literally, by songs of praise to Hugo Chavez. He is now going after Globovision for showing footage of the 1981 assassination attempt on the pope accompanied by the Ruben Blades song “Have Faith, This Doesn’t End Here.” Obviously, that incites assassination against Chavez (well, not that obvious: the Communications Ministry hired some “experts” to tell them that was the message being sent). Also, he’s accusing CNN of hostile intent, demonstrated by the order in which it showed several stories, so that a picture of Chavez was followed by one of an Al Qaida leader and one of demonstrations in China, in order to “associate the image of Chavez with that of violence and death.” Legal action will be taken against CNN and Globovision.

By the way, not renewing a license is one thing, but the government also seized RCTV equipment, transmitters and such, for the use by the state-run replacement station. I’m not sure how that’s legal.

Bush made a speech about Darfur this morning. “For too long,” he said, “the people of Darfur have suffered at the hands of a government that is complicit in the bombing, murder, and rape of innocent civilians.” Too long? What would the optimal time have been? “My administration has called these actions by their rightful name: genocide.” They had to convince GeeDubya that “genocide” didn’t have anything to do with I Dream of Jeannie, but I think we can all applaud the difficult achievement of getting Chimpy to call anything by its rightful name. “The world,” he says, “has a responsibility to help put an end to it.” So he will totally, um, bar some Sudanese individuals and companies from the US financial system. Problem solved.

Tell me exactly what they feel angry about

John McCain says there is no Plan B for Iraq, which is okay because “I believe that General Eisenhower didn’t have a Plan B at Normandy, and I don’t think that General Grant had a Plan B when he decided to take Richmond,” adding, “or General Custer at Little Bighorn, or my uncle Elmer when he stuck that fork in a toaster (poor Uncle Elmer) or...”

Right-wing tv station RCTV will be pulled from the air in Venezuela as of midnight after 54 years on the air, as Hugo Chavez had announced taunted. Chavez explained that this wasn’t about ensuring that no other voice than his is heard, in a speech yesterday that was, er, carried compulsorily by every tv station: “That television station became a threat to the country, so I decided not to renew the licence because it’s my responsibility.” So that’s okay then.

Tony Blair, in an op-ed piece in the Sunday Times, also finds a grave threat to his country: an outdated attachment to liberty. “We have chosen as a society to put the civil liberties of the suspect, even if a foreign national, first. I happen to believe this is misguided and wrong. ... Over the past five or six years, we have decided as a country that except in the most limited of ways, the threat to our public safety does not justify changing radically the legal basis on which we confront this extremism.” He also blames Parliament and the courts, but clearly it is the failure of the British people themselves, “as a society” and “as a country,” to prioritize security over what he calls “traditional civil liberties” that he finds most galling. They must be a great disappointment to him.

Blair blames the courts for not allowing him to deport foreign nationals “who were either engaged in or inciting extremism.” Note the intentional vagueness of the term extremism: does he mean people who take extreme actions or who hold extreme ideas? In fact, only people who still believe in those quaint traditional civil liberties continue to make such distinctions. Tony certainly doesn’t.

While he is also willing to put British extremists under surveillance and order limits on their activities, he finds foreigners especially dangerous because of “the ideas they import from abroad.” Blair would like to deport any Johnny Foreigner who “imports” ideas no matter the risk of torture or murder he faces: “if he... abuses our hospitality and threatens us, I feel he should take his chance back in his own home country.”

Tony then tells a story of being stopped by some anonymous muddle-headed type who blamed terrorism on the invasion and occupation of Muslim countries. Blair responded, “tell me exactly what they feel angry about.” After all, “we” removed two brutal dictatorships and replaced them with democracies. “And the only reason it is difficult still is because other Muslims are using terrorism to try to destroy the fledgling democracy and, in doing so, are killing fellow Muslims. What’s more, British troops are risking their lives trying to prevent the killing. Why should anyone feel angry about us?” Yup, it’s a complete fucking mystery all right, Tony.

Of course they couldn’t have done the children’s festival thing with Chavez, because everyone knows he eats babies

From the Guardian, more on the increasing authoritarianism of Russia. Lots of details, including the banning of yet another party, but here’s my favorite bit:

The mayor’s office [in Nizhny Novgorod] announced a children’s festival on the site of the proposed march, and blocked off the road to carry out what it said were urgent repairs.

Speaking of rallies, the US’s Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns, at the Council of Americas, said that Argentina shouldn’t have allowed Hugo Chavez to hold his rally in Buenos Aires at the same time as Bush was in Uruguay earlier this month. “I didn’t think that was the right thing to do.” Really, when George Bush is speaking, it’s just good manners for everyone on whatever continent he’s speaking on to keep quiet and still and listen respectfully. Were you people born in a granero?

We want the American people to see us sitting side by side

Headline (AP) of the day: “Israel Recalls Naked, Drunk Ambassador.” To be fair, he wasn’t entirely naked: there was some bondage gear...

Oddest choice of verb in a headline of the day (also AP): “Bush Pushes U.S. Compassion in Guatemala.”

By the way, have there been any mass demonstrations against Hugo Chavez’s tour? Clashes with police? Burnings of Venezuelan flags and effigies in red shirts? Maybe there have been, and they just haven’t been reported in the, you know, Liberal Media. Funny, that.

Joe Lieberman, chair of the Senate homeland security committee, has come up with an audacious scheme to secure the homeland: members of the committee will henceforth sit not by party but either by seniority (as Al Kamen reports) or alternating (Wall Street Journal) rather than party. According to Lieberman, the 2006 elections showed that Americans are sick of partisanship, “So, as a start, instead of sitting on opposite sides of the room like a house divided, we want the American people to see us sitting side by side”. That’s so crazy it just might work!

Who’s having the better vacation?

Bush in Colombia
Chavez in Bolivia

Bush in Uruguay, where the, um, software comes from

In a press conference with Uruguayan President Tabare Vázquez, Bush said something that was entirely truthful: “I think many people in my country don’t know that Uruguay is the leading exporter of software in South America.”


He continued to search desperately for other tidbits in a failed attempt to make Uruguay interesting: “Interestingly enough, we both have gotten rid of colonial powers in our past, and it is -- I think it is that heritage that makes Uruguay and the United States such natural partners.” You could say the same thing about Zimbabwe or Burma or Cuba or the majority of nations in the world.

Hugo Chavez, speaking to a large rally just one country away in Argentina, referred to George as “the little imperial gentleman from the north” and “a political corpse.” Bush’s Latin American tour has him scheduled to address no public crowds, of any size. Funny, that.

A reporter asked Bush, “Hugo Chavez suggested that you are afraid to mention his name. So, are you?” In his response, Bush did not mention Chavez’s name. To be fair, Chavez is a pretty scary fellow.


Asked about the FBI abuse of national security letters, Bush said, “My question is, what are you going to do to solve the problem and how fast can you get it solved? And I was pleased by Director Mueller’s answer, that he had already begun to address some of the problems, but there’s more work to be done.” Bush was pleased with that answer, aren’t you pleased with that answer, knowing you can go about your business, safe in the reassuring knowledge that Robert Mueller has already begun to address some of the problems, but there is more work to be done.