Once again, a gigantic thank you goes out to all of you who came by and left me such wonderful comments while Kamden was sick. He is feeling much better and is back to his cheery little self. We all missed him, he literally laid on the couch for two days straight. So very unlike our little monkey.
I am feeling a little strange today. I am so very happy that Kamden is better and that Jack is has not come down with it yet. I am still fervently praying he won’t.
Which brings me to why I am a bit off. I keep wondering why it is that it would upset me so much if he did get sick and the surgery had to be postponed. After all the surgery is not life threatening. Not even serious. If he never had it at all it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He would however, not have the opportunity to ever focus with both eyes. Which is huge if you happen to be his parents.
But the thing is that mentally preparing for it, both me and him has been something of a chore. He is scared. I am worried. Who wouldn’t be?
So to have to go through all that again, well, I just don’t want to. How mature is that?
It was Hannah’s comment on this post that helped me sort it out. Subconsciously I knew but I just couldn’t put my finger on it until she so eloquently expressed exactly how I was feeling. She’s been through at least two surgeries with her youngest, so who better to know exactly how I am feeling.
People who don’t blog? Well they are missing out on so much! The community and love is overwhelming. How did I ever live without it?
And I am slowly, VERY slowly, coming to a realization on this. That which has been tormenting my soul for over 2 years. I may just find peace. Eventually.
I wish each and everyone of you a wonderful Easter weekend. May it be filled with peace, joy and the love of your family.
I know mine will.
Showing posts with label strabismus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strabismus. Show all posts
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Bah Busybug!
Do you know what busy does?
It chews you up, spits you out, then dances on your head in stilettos.
Oh yes, busy is female, I assure you. No male would feel the need to try to balance 3,742 things at once. They have no need to “to do it all”. That’s a trait we females seem to wear with pride.
Not me though, I always prided myself on never taking on more than I could handle. In fact, I normally err on the side of caution in terms of scheduling myself.
Those days are but a distant memory for me right now. In fact, the time it is taking me to type out this post should most likely be spent on about 1000 other things. Some that earn me a living (read: support my shopping addiction) and some that just need to be done (read: clean the bathrooms, laundry, cook actual food for my family, spend time with said family….blah, blah, blah).
There are 17 on-line students requiring attention, there is a case exam that must be authored, there is a project with team members that must be managed…. Oh and it’s also Christmas in a week and half.
Right, so sleep? Not really necessary right? I am too stressed to relax and actually get a good sleep anyway so what’s the point. Although, I did get up at 6 this morning to get some work done before the kids woke up and discovered that my eyes don’t really focus before 8 am.
Good to know, good know.
And to top everything off we had to rush up to Toon town Monday because Jack had another appointment with the pediatric ophthalmologist on Tuesday morning. Really this turned out to be sweet because Bon Jovi was playing there. We had decided we really couldn’t pull Jack out of school to attend the concert but an appointment the next day? That’s a legitimate reason to be absent. So we enjoyed the fine specimen of Jon for a couple hours – the man? He’s hot with a capital H. It was fantastic. (PS love you hon, I only like to admire Jon from afar, YOU are my man!)
And Jack is scheduled to go for surgery sometime in March. Remember how I haven’t been getting much sleep? Yeah, this really helps. My baby is going to put under. I’ve never experienced this unless you could the valium induced awake coma courtesy of the anesthesiologist when Jack was delivered via C-section (that dude is on my hit list by the way). That translates into fear.
I know that this is the best thing to do if we ever want Jack to have binocular vision (ie focus with both eyes at once) but when it’s imminent, suddenly I am not so confident in our decision.
Throw in a b-day night with my best bud last night, two Christmas concerts and I am not even sure which way is up.
Anywho, enough about my ridiculous busyness. It’s my own fault so let’s not wallow in it. This too shall pass.
I do have to give a shout out to the best husband and Daddy I know. Jay, you are my backbone. You always quietly, with never a complaint, take over and handle all the mundane tasks that would otherwise get left undone. Our stomachs thank you from the bottom of their hearts because I can’t remember that last time I set foot in the grocery store or cooked a meal. And laundry, well, I think I may have forgotten how to use the washer. You rock and if I had custom ordered you from Heaven, I would have settled for mediocre compared to you.
I love you!
And my dear friend, Candace for taking my Kamden for more afternoons than I can count to play with Logan instead of standing by me and my laptop asking when I can play with him. I owe you big time!
It chews you up, spits you out, then dances on your head in stilettos.
Oh yes, busy is female, I assure you. No male would feel the need to try to balance 3,742 things at once. They have no need to “to do it all”. That’s a trait we females seem to wear with pride.
Not me though, I always prided myself on never taking on more than I could handle. In fact, I normally err on the side of caution in terms of scheduling myself.
Those days are but a distant memory for me right now. In fact, the time it is taking me to type out this post should most likely be spent on about 1000 other things. Some that earn me a living (read: support my shopping addiction) and some that just need to be done (read: clean the bathrooms, laundry, cook actual food for my family, spend time with said family….blah, blah, blah).
There are 17 on-line students requiring attention, there is a case exam that must be authored, there is a project with team members that must be managed…. Oh and it’s also Christmas in a week and half.
Right, so sleep? Not really necessary right? I am too stressed to relax and actually get a good sleep anyway so what’s the point. Although, I did get up at 6 this morning to get some work done before the kids woke up and discovered that my eyes don’t really focus before 8 am.
Good to know, good know.
And to top everything off we had to rush up to Toon town Monday because Jack had another appointment with the pediatric ophthalmologist on Tuesday morning. Really this turned out to be sweet because Bon Jovi was playing there. We had decided we really couldn’t pull Jack out of school to attend the concert but an appointment the next day? That’s a legitimate reason to be absent. So we enjoyed the fine specimen of Jon for a couple hours – the man? He’s hot with a capital H. It was fantastic. (PS love you hon, I only like to admire Jon from afar, YOU are my man!)
And Jack is scheduled to go for surgery sometime in March. Remember how I haven’t been getting much sleep? Yeah, this really helps. My baby is going to put under. I’ve never experienced this unless you could the valium induced awake coma courtesy of the anesthesiologist when Jack was delivered via C-section (that dude is on my hit list by the way). That translates into fear.
I know that this is the best thing to do if we ever want Jack to have binocular vision (ie focus with both eyes at once) but when it’s imminent, suddenly I am not so confident in our decision.
Throw in a b-day night with my best bud last night, two Christmas concerts and I am not even sure which way is up.
Anywho, enough about my ridiculous busyness. It’s my own fault so let’s not wallow in it. This too shall pass.
I do have to give a shout out to the best husband and Daddy I know. Jay, you are my backbone. You always quietly, with never a complaint, take over and handle all the mundane tasks that would otherwise get left undone. Our stomachs thank you from the bottom of their hearts because I can’t remember that last time I set foot in the grocery store or cooked a meal. And laundry, well, I think I may have forgotten how to use the washer. You rock and if I had custom ordered you from Heaven, I would have settled for mediocre compared to you.
I love you!
And my dear friend, Candace for taking my Kamden for more afternoons than I can count to play with Logan instead of standing by me and my laptop asking when I can play with him. I owe you big time!
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