ARE WE OUR BROTHER’S KEEPER?

HERMANA TAMARA SMITH MEZA COULD USE A HELPING HAND

Hola mis amigos de la mission de Anaheim California!!. I can’t believe it has been more than 13 years for some of us and a bit less for others, but many years nonetheless since we served together. Hopefully we are growing wiser more than old and for all us these years have been well spent with many rewarding and enriching experiences. The reason I am writing this letter is to share a little bit of Tamara’s life with you. She’s had a few challenges along the way to say the least, but she’s always kept her happy and positive attitude through the midst of all. At this time of her life, she needs her friends to pull her through some rough times. I have been moved by the Spirit to compose this letter and send it to you. I pray that I convey a clear message since English is not my native language. I believe the language of the Spirit is understood by all of us the same no matter our background.

I have come to realize that it is very easy to become immersed in our own lives when we have a so many demands to attend to, such as growing families, demanding jobs, trials of our own and so on. Looking beyond ourselves guided by the promptings of the Spirit helps us have a more rewarding life. King Benjamin in his address to the people of Zarahemla said: “I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings year are only in the service of your God”.

Below is a letter that Tamara wrote summarizing the last 13 years of her life, eight of which she has been battling with cancer:

In 1997, I had just recently returned from a Spanish-speaking mission for my church, and was very excited to go back to school, Brigham Young University, where I had previously attended. I was very interested in learning how to Latin dance, so after meeting a young man who appeared to be Hispanic, I asked him if he knew the salsa. He teasingly responded, “I was born dancing, baby!” After three years of consistent weekend salsa dancing, and dining out to Peruvian restaurants, we finally drove off into the sunset, as a happily married couple in January of 2000.

Only one day after returning from our romantic honeymoon in San Diego, I started teaching school to fifth graders. The following year, I taught fourth graders. In 2002, I got a promotion, and was able to teach Special Education, which was by far my most rewarding position. Of course, on the weekends my husband would take me salsa dancing, which was our favorite pastime.

During that year, however, I started to feel fairly under the weather. Being a farm-girl, I rarely ever felt the need to see a doctor, nevertheless as the year slowly progressed, I surprisingly found myself being seen two to three times per month. Each time the doctor would tell me that I had a serious infirmity, like diabetes, inflammation/rashes, bronchitis, adult onset asthma, mononucleosis, migraines, and respitory complications, to name a few. To top it off, I had gained fifty pounds in just a few months, despite the fact that I had joined Weight Watchers, exercised at the gym each morning, was taking bi-weekly folkloric Peruvian dance lessons, and salsa dancing with my hubby on the weekends. The massive weight gain seemed illogical.

Despite all the crazy list of symptoms that I was having, my husband and I still wanted to start a family. After a year, and no pregnancies, we decided to get professional help. I was tested extensively, and the doctors came to the conclusion that I was drastically infertile. They even went far enough to declare it a waste of our time and money to try in-vitro fertilization; so instead, they planted the idea of adoption in our heads. Of course, at first, that type of news can be quite crushing, but we tried to see it through rose-colored glasses and quickly started our journey towards adoption.

One weekend, after salsa dancing with my fabulously amazing dancer of a husband, I felt quite sick, and as though I were about to faint. On the way home, I knew that my husband, David, needed to take me to the emergency room…once again. I recognized that something was very wrong. Of course, the doctors told us that I had thyroid disease, to add to the long list of other complaints. My husband repeatedly had the gut feeling that they needed to scan my brain, but the docs refused. He insisted, again and again, and finally they complied. To our dismay, the scans showed a large lemon-sized tumor growing into the left-frontal lobe of my brain.Immediate tumor removal surgery was scheduled for the next morning.

Our carefree life that we had been living has never been the same. During surgery, the doctors had to remove almost a fourth of my brain, due to the cancerous tumors overtake. Part of the section that was removed is the area where one learns a second language. Upon awaking, I was no longer able to speak in Spanish. Not only that, but the area of the brain that was removed, the left frontal lobe, is called the “executive secretary” of our body. That part of the brain controls organization, motor function, problem solving, initiative, memory, sequencing, and most importantly our emotional control center and home to our personality. There is no other part of the brain where lesions can cause such a wide variety of symptoms. I had literally become like a child, and required assistance with most of my tasks. I obviously could not return back to work, and needed to be cared for, so we moved to my parents’ home in Colorado, so they could nurse me back to health, while my husband searched for a new job.

While in Colorado, my parents live on a small ranch, with horses and cows. My husband got really excited about purchasing a bunch of chicks, raising them to full-grown, and then selling the eggs. My parents built a greenhouse, and that began my therapy to work in the dirt, and enjoy the beautiful fruit or flowers resulting from the seeds that I had planted. I also started practicing piano, another brain therapy that doctors recommended. After a couple of years, we decided that I was getting healthy enough to start the adoption process once again.

However, in that time frame, I started to get extremely ill again, and would sometimes fall over with fatigue or nausea. I had excruciating migraines, and decided to go in for a check-up.Another MRI was prescribed, and shortly after that, a PET scan was necessary to check with radioactive substance to see if the cancer had spread throughout my body. I still remember the doctor telling us that cancer had spread to my abdomen, and I needed to get an ultrasound to see it more clearly. The day of the ultrasound, I was crying with fear, not knowing if I could emotionally handle the results. As the doctor was doing the ultrasound on my belly, she looked at the computer screen, clicked on an area, and with a great big smile, pointed to where it was.“There it is!” she declared. I was about to cry because she looked a little too happy to be stating that I had an abdominal tumor. I timidly asked, “So, do I really have a tumor?” She stared at me blankly, like she didn’t understand what I was asking. “What do you mean, a tumor? This is a baby!” I looked at my husband, and he looked at me, with looks of confusion on our faces. “But we were told that you would be checking on an abdominal tumor. And besides, we have seen many doctors, and have done many tests; the verdict is that we are both completely infertile. We have been told it is impossible for us to get pregnant!” The doctor replied in a happy, yet confused tone of voice, “I don’t know what your past medical situation is, but one thing I know for sure is that this is not a tumor. This baby has a heartbeat! And tumors don’t have heartbeats. You are pregnant! Congratulations!” Ironically we entered the doctor’s office on the verge of tears, and left the office with baby magazines and trial diaper packages, and in a state of astonishment. We never dreamed that something like this could happen. It was as if the heavens were smiling down on us, and God had given us a miraculous gift, one that we had prayed for and sought after and for five long years. On our drive home, we called our entire family member to tell them our fabulous news. Nobody believed us. As we kept insisting the reality, and marvelous truth, they slowly began to understand. Some shed tears of joy and others hollered with happiness.

When I was about seven months pregnant, we finally decided to buy a house. We found the perfect little home just a few minutes away from where my parents live. After painting, and moving all our furniture out of storage, it seemed that we were ready to bring a little baby into the picture. My doctors were quite worried about the delivery, and ordered an MRI only a few weeks before the baby was born. Delivery, however, went very well. We had a perfectly healthy baby boy, Isaac, born to us on March 16, 2005, about five years after marriage. I knew deep in my heart that this miniature gift from God was given to me in order to give me a little piece of sunshine, which would help me get through the rough times in life.

Sure enough, the ongoing previous symptoms continued to get worse, and I started to feel the need for another MRI scan of my brain. The results came back completely “clean” as the doctors stated, and I couldn’t figure out why I had such negative warning signs. Three weeks later, my supposedly “clean” brain hemorrhaged, and if it weren’t for my husband who gave me CPR, and called an ambulance, I might not be here today. My amazing hero of a husband saved my life.When they gave me the emergency MRI, only weeks after the previous one, realization came to the radiologists that they had been reading my MRI’s incorrectly for three years. The tumor had refilled the empty cavity of my brain, and when there was no more space in the brain for more growth, I had a hemorrhage. Another emergency brain surgery, which I don’t remember almost anything, because it was so traumatic for my body.

My baby was only six months old at the time, and probably quite traumatic for him, as his mommy got taken away from him for an entire month and a half. Even still, life went on, and I recovered slowly but surely. This recovery differed from the first because I had to care for a baby at the same time. I needed much assistance, and was not able to do it all alone.

About three years later, with the aid of a fabulous neurosurgeon, we tracked my progress correctly, without any misleading and incorrect MRI readings. We discovered that I would need another brain surgery in December 2008. Prior to surgery, I found an alternative place inCalifornia that helped to cleanse and prepare me for the surgery. My doctor said that the healthier that I am prior surgery, the better the recovery would be. Sure enough, even though it is never easy, my body handled the third surgery the best. Of course, I had to stay in the hospital for an entire month, and even enjoyed Christmas in the hospital. It was quite possibly one of the best Christmas’s that I have ever had. I felt love and generosity surround me at every level. My family felt the true meaning of Christmas, and witnessed service given from friends and family, and even those whom we had never met. Maybe it wasn’t the easiest Christmas ever, but we definitely felt massive amounts of love from people all around, which is what Christmas, is all about.

Through it all, I had to begin to find different hobbies and pastimes, as my body had many challenges. The truth is, when the brain gets worked on, there are consequences that affect the entire body. Each brain surgery left me by surprise at what was taken away from me. However, with given time, I feel that the unused parts of our brains will eventually take over and relearn things in a new way. I have seen this to be true. I might not learn the things that were lost in the conventional way, but the fun is in learning how things will eventually get relearned.

For example, after the first surgery, I lost my Spanish. That area of my brain was actually removed. However, my love for the language caused a determination to learn it again. I pulled out my old school books, endured horrible acting in Spanish novella soap operas, and began my journey to learning a language that I once knew, even though nothing looked or sounded familiar.I studied and studied for two years, and it finally started to come. When the second surgery came, I never lost my hard re-learned Spanish. My husband asked the neurosurgeon what was the reason for losing the language the first surgery, and not the second? He responded, “For that reason, I am fascinated by the brain. Tamara does not have an area in her brain to learn a second language. It was taken out in the first surgery. I have no idea how she learned Spanish again, or which area in the brain that it would be stored in. It is a mesmerizing mystery!”

Another example of how our brains will eventually adapt, took place after my third brain surgery, and a side effect was the inability to walk, except with assistance. For an entire year I needed to use a wheelchair, seated-walker, or a cane. However, my progress was such that I could use a cane in some areas, but had to use the walker in others, and even a wheelchair in others. It was very inconsistent. The doctors continually told me that I might never learn to walk again, and that the brain might never make the needed connection to the legs. I finally decided that conventional physical therapy wasn’t working, and went for a month to California, the same place I had gone prior surgery, to complete an alternative-cleansing program. I never imagined that during that time, I would be able to walk again, but sure enough, I am able to walk perfectly and have never needed assistance since then.

An additional case in point of how our brains will make new patterns is the fact that I used to be very left-brained. Some left-brained characteristics include mathematical, organizational, logical, and detail oriented. Now that half of my left-brain has been removed, I find it interesting that I am a first hand witness of myself becoming a right-brained person. Such qualities include, creativity, ability to see the big picture, artistic, imaginative, and living moment to moment, among other things. Surprisingly, I feel like a unique and different person. Sometimes my actions or comments are so inconsistent with whom I used to be, that my husband is completely caught off guard, where he teasingly jokes with me, declaring, “Where is my wife? What did you do with her?” The fact of the matter is that I enjoy being right-brained much better than left-brained.Life seems so much more fun and exciting. Sometimes I feel grateful for brain surgery, just for the fact that it gave me new ways to see life.

It has been about 1 year and 10 months since my latest brain surgery, and scans are showing tumor re-growth. My neurosurgeon told me that surgery might not be an option this time. I immediately thought of returning to the place in California that has brought me such positive results in the past. They have a three-month program, where I would stay and live the program faithfully, cleansing both mind and body. There are many people who were diagnosed with cancer, and left hopeless, but has completed the three-month program, and went home cancer-free. I owe it to myself and to my family to find out if that can be my own reality. Even though it will be so emotionally challenging to leave my beloved family for three months, I feel that this will be my gift to them, as I undoubtedly will live much longer, and undeniably be healthier to boot. I still have many weekends left in my lifetime to dance salsa with my amazing dancer of a husband, and many more years that I need to hold and love my dear sweet son. I have hope, faith and loved ones whom surround me, which is what truly matters the most. I truly have so much to live for!

I hope that after reading this letter you feel the Spirit prompting you to extend a loving hand. I have felt it and that is why I am sending this letter to you.

This new tumor that is growing in her head is the most aggressive so far and the doctors are very apprehensive about surgery this time. For this reason, Tamara and her family have decided that non-surgical treatment in California is their best option. The place is called Optimum Health Institute. It is located in Lemon Grove, San Diego. She is staying there for three months for a very intense natural treatment. It is their last hope. She should be back right before Christmas.

My purpose is to help Isaac see his mom a few more times than otherwise would be possible due to finances. They have been battling with cancer for so many years that it has taken a toll on their lives. Isaac is such a special little boy and he deserves to see his mommy as many times as possible. I have to share a little story with you:

In August 2010, my family and I went to Utah for a family reunion and on our way home we stopped at Tamara’s house to visit with her and her family. As we stepped into her house, this Christus caught my eye. At first I didn’t pay close attention to where the band-aids were located. Tamara proceeded to tell me that last year she was shared with Isaac the story about Jesus’s death and resurrection. This story resonated in Isaac’s four year-old mind. The next day, David and Tamara found all these band-aids on the statue of Jesus. Isaac said he had put them on where Jesus had been hurt. They tried to take them off, but Isaac didn’t let them, saying Jesus needed those band-aids because he had been hurt.

This experience reminded me how spiritually in tune our children are. Isaac was a miracle sent from heaven to David and Tamara. He truly is very special. There is a heavenly aura around him. My children loved playing with him. He deserves our help. I know it has been hard for him to have his mommy sick and now far away from him. I can’t bear the idea that it could be my children who had to deal with such difficulty so early in life.

I know most of us have growing families and we are not in the position to help in a big way, but any little help will make a difference. We are many who know her from the Anaheim California Mission and know all the wonderful things she did while serving there. Are we our brother’s keeper? President Monson said “The answer to that vital question is: Yes, we are our brothers’ keepers”. Ensign May 1990. Jesus reminds us in Mathew 25:40: "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

OK, so these are a few of the options to help Tamara, David and Isaac:

1. Send some money (as little as it may be it would be a BIG help). So they can buy one more ticket to visit Tamara in her treatment facility in California. I know that Isaac would love to see her mom as many times as possible. This separation has been very hard on him. Their home address is :

10762 Lewis Cr.

Westminster, CO 80021

2. You can give her a call. She would love to hear from any of you and catch up with your lives. I think it would help take her mind away from what she is going through. Her phone number in California is:

(619)589-4714.

3. If you have any good books that you can spare, send them to her. She is in need of good books to keep her occupied.

4. Fast and pray for Tamara.

Thanks for taking the time to read this long letter. I assure you it is time well spent. You are making a difference in a friend’s life. And that is what life is all about!! If you know more people who know her, please add them to the group or forward this letter!!!

Ps. I added the picture of Tamara and Isaac in Tamara's letter. And sorry for putting this letter in my old blog. I did not know how else to put it in. I am not very savvy in the arts of computers.