dear buddy,
you have no idea how much you've touched me there and then. i was desperately trying to control my tears, and not let you hear the change in my voice. i never knew you could be SO there for me, and that i could pour out my sorrows to you so easily. then again, why not? we're buddies! i'm able to be at peace after listening to you.. you're really a buddy once in a lifetime. i will keep our pact in my heart. a big bear hug to you!! ;)

Humans, most of the time, are hard to satisfy.
That's why we're called humans. because we're imperfect.

When we're children, we hoped to grow up as fast as we can.
Now that we're older, we wish we could turn back the clock and be the carefree little ones we've been.

haha :)
for me, i nevertheless still wish to grow up. therefore, i'm happy with who i am now. Growing up allows me to bear the burdens i've not been able to bear when i was little; growing up allows me to be more sensible and mature, to love the people around me, to know what is unconditional love, and to give unconditional love. No matter how hard my life will be, whether emotionally, psychologically or mentally, i will accept it all because this is part of life. without sadness and tears, i would not know what is happiness and how much a smile means. hardships make me cherish wonderful times so much more, and i've learnt that emotional baggage has given joy an even greater meaning. happier than happy. Growing up is a process that will continue to follow me throughout my years. When life turns from receiving to giving.
Coming out to the working world has let me see the ugliness of humans; and the reason for it. We don't want to be, but we're unwillingly shaped by circumstances. It's just a protection cover so we won't be hurt. But if we repay cruelty with understanding, we will be beautiful, for we are.

Growing up is overwhelming, and i've known to accept things as they should be, as well as make things happen because i know i want them to.

what comes around goes around. :)

i'm happy, and God has His amazing way of bringing me happiness. simple, yet fulfilling from within.
enlightenment!

today is public holiday; i'm supposed to sleep in but i ended up waking up even earlier. 5.15 am zz!! hahax. went to my friend's church for a outdoor cycling event. all the way from BBTC to pasir ris park! FUNN!! it's approximately one and a half hour's journey and we were cycling along the main roads!! haha dangerous but exciting. i'm so reckless when it comes to crossing roads coz i didn't see the red man until our group leader shouted STOOOPPP!!! hahahaha. there were no cars though :) i rem on labour day i almost got knocked down by a speeding car coz of my bad estimation. lolx scared my friends!! i think if i don't die of old age, i'll probably die of a car accident. hahaha. alright back to today's fun!! we cycled round bedok reservoir, pass tp and ikea, crossed many roads, uphill, then downhill, then found ourselves in pasir ris park!! haha sounds easy but it isn't. there were many turns and bumps and the hill was steep. tiring for the legs!! but when i was going down the hill, it's super breathtaking!! cutting against the wind and fast all the way downhill. haha i'm glad i joined them man!! if not i'd have missed out so much fun and friends! after that ate breakfast together and we had fun chatting with one another! hahah somehow i always feel so at ease when i'm chatting with new people. like we're old friends? haha!!

i'm feeling good. :)

i'm a little upset with nus and ntu. what for put their science openhouse on the same day? i can't split into 2 you know =( same timing somemore.. oh well. i can interpret the msg they're trying to convey..

tmr morn going swimmingg!!! with the same old 2. haha! gtg sleep! goodnight world! =)

i LOVE julianah and farah. :)

wished i had hugged them yesterday night. probably they'll freak out (as usual) by my overly-affectionate affection. hahaha. one of the best things that ever happened to me in aj is them, and whenever we go out, wherever we are, we're bound to have fun :D so much laughter until our sides ache hahaha. if i'm julianah's happy pill, then julianah is my ecstasy. hahaha!! i'm serious ok. she's capable of making me laugh like mad. i'm missing the both of you already! =( i'm going to keep the mms forever HAHA!

i dunno why, all the worries in the world, seem to disappear.. when i'm with my friends. hearrt! :)

what uncle dave said over the phone pierced straight through my heart. he thought i am still the girl i was. his words made me think what brought about the change in me. this change is neither good or bad generally... but to me, it's not very good. why have i become like this? i've decided to return to my old self again, and i have to thank uncle dave :) haha, welcome myself back! :D then i will be worthy of the faith uncle dave has in me. i never knew he'd be the one to bring me back to my senses. i'm glad, because it's not too late (=

ever wondered why my blog posts are always so happy? because i choose to be happy. retaining all the beautiful memories.. and throwing the bad ones away. so that at some point when i'm feeling down, all i need is to glance at my blog, and be cheered up again. for i am but a mortal.

when life becomes a decision, not a reaction.

i'm back i'm back! haha took a nap from 2plus to 8pm :) contented yes! have been feeling so sleep-deprived due to work. this morning jancy jo and i met at 9am to swimmm!! at toa payoh complex. i kind of like this swimming complex haha. WE swam 22 laps! hahaha. we love swimming... =) swam till just before 11am then we went to shower and off we go for our lunch!! :) forget about what we ate at the entertainment centre.. =S they're conmen... =( hahax then jancy bought mr bean ice cream and i bought green bean pastry! so nicee. jo was trying so hard to be not tempted =P after that jo went off for her tas so jancy and i went to value$ shop.. the foodstuffs there are so cheap! haha are we really cmi??? hahahaha. well, next week i'm going to buy.. =))) and ye! next sat we're going to swim again... (:

after our extremely satisfying dinner :) attempted to take the "Plaza Market Cafe" but arm not long enough hahahaha. i highly recommend this place!! and the best thing is my mother enjoyed herself! money worth spending (:

haha yesterday night went out for dinner with D.O.G. at VIVO! did i say before i love them? yes i do!! i'll repeat it infinitely even. lolx!! ate at Superdog. the hotdog is really super. hahaha. i ate chilli cheese fries only coz for lunch i had jap buffet with my colleagues. good thing i didn't vomit. 2 meals of buffet in a row!! and while we were eating, we looked through our CRUISE brochures!!! our cruise trip is confirmed =) 3 days 2 nights in Superstar Aquarius, 11th-13th July! i'm so excited!! BIG thanks to jancy's mummy! :)

oh yea, i've got into nus science and ntu chemistry and biological chemistry. i have not decided which to accept yet. will make my decision on 24th may. really looking forward to uni life! :)


when you see everything as beautiful, you will be happy.

Hp's fusion system is officially down today. which means.. everyone gets a half-day today!! work ends at 12pm, and my department is going out to kushimbo for lunch!! Jap buffet with lots and lots of fresh sashimi... my favourite. hahah. and the best thing is, it's sponsored by the company. using hp funds to eat.. :P :D yesterday night i went for international buffet at raffles city swissotel, main cuisine is peranakan. everything there is so delicious.. the beef lasagne there is the best i've ever eaten so far! the kway teow rocks. hahaha. my sis and i treated our mum coz it's mothers' day.. :) actually i think.. everyday is mothers' day as long as we show our appreciation to our mothers and love her more and more each day. i'll post the pictures tonight, after our D.O.G. dinner!!! ((= (;

i'm feeling oh so extremely bored now haha. nothing to do in the office. so i shall blog about FOOOOOD. tried beard papa cream puff original 2 days ago at bugis. it's EKKKKKKKKS. so much vanilla cream until the whole thing looks so gross. and the cream isn't nice at all. scraped off much of it before it entered my mouth. hahah. BUT, i tried the strawberry beard papa cream puff yesterday at vivo and it was WOOHOO!!!! my tastebuds SANG! haha!! it's so awfully tasty. totally love it man! i think i'll just eat that flavour forever and not even try the chocolate one. hahaha. for lunch i ate superdog.. at vivo also. chilli cheese fries and fish and chips. YUMMY! haven't tasted such special chilli cheese fries. the fish is sooo fresh too! around $6 but it's worth it lah. haa. somebody please give me some work to do!!!!

oooh yesterday was PAYDAY!!! xDDDD

i went out with bertram sharyn and aaron yesterday. hahaha. westmall! i haven't gone there for ages. it always feels so nostalgic every time i go there. i met bertram first.. =) coz aaron and sharyn had something on before that. haha so happy when i saw bertram lah. long time friends you know! =) went up to the food court and waited till aaron and sharyn came :) it feels so good to chat with them once again :) after our dinner sharyn wanted ice cream hahaha. so off we went to swensons for chocolate fondue and white choc blondie!! yummy! just that the mint ice cream was ekkk. ahahaha aaron was the only one who found it nice. =S and sharyn and i had fun bullying him hahax!! he's funny laa. well, just want to say... i still love them loads :) i'm blessed to have such great friends! until now, i still think 06S10 rocks haha. and bertram, you're forever my buddy! :) next friday!! can't wait! hahaha.

i wanted to give it all up. =( i dunno what to do and how to think. it sometimes is such a pain.. he once told me before not to think so much about such things. but the need to think about such things is sometimes so inevitable. what she said made me waver.. made me pull back my once-so-firm decision. now.. i just want to be what we are, because i'm sure. i think i'm sure.

spent yesterday night outside esplanade. talked with josephine, cui shan, jancy and huixin for the whole night. haha. when it was around 4am the mosquitoes went mad and huixin's arm was so obviously bleeding! =/ so we walked over to macs and ate our breakfast together =) throwed my face there hahaha. huixin's still as evil as ever lol!! as usual, hanging out with them always made all of us laugh like crazy. after that took the morning train home.. =) by the time i showered finished and laid on my bed, it was 8am omg... then we had to wake up by 12pm la!!! hahaha!!! coz meeting each other again and the ns guys at 1pm. we're mad. only 4 hours of sleeeeeeeeeeep. haha so, i'm very very very tired now. gtg sleep. goodnight =)