what is meant to be yours will be yours =)

looking forward to friday! ghost show. yayayayayayayay

glad xiaohui's having fun! =) jiayou at work hor. and I MISS YOU SO MUCH okay. who says i never. no matter what happens, we're still the best of lovers friends xP
xiaonan is your earnie hahahahaha. looks like you've got one more faithful visitor to your blog. don't need me le '(

i miss julianah. and a whole lot of people. missmissmissmissy. :)

gtg do my maths! my panda eyes are coming back. but i don't care la. haha

ying xing de chi pang~ lalalala

i'm feeling much better now! after ranting in my previous entry. and thanks xiaohui for being so understanding =) i said those words when i was at the peak of my anger, and she didn't blame me for it yup. pamela's sweet as well haha. (kenny and his barbie dolls =P) i want a voodoo doll. for her. haha she's gonna die a horrible death. hahaha

dance's cancelled, not only for the whole week, but for the whole month. and i gave up my job attachment at St. Luke's Hospital for nothing. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! and i'm not being guai, as what xiaohui said, for listening to ms in to reject the job for dance. the thing is I HAVE NO CHOICE. i would rather go for the job attachment than dance if i could. ms in scolded me like shit. she said she DIE also don't want to excuse me. she said a whole lot of things and used syf to threaten me. so i said meekly, "alright, i'll go for dance." AND THEN she cancelled the dance practices. so i rejected the hard-to-come-by attachment for nothing, got scolded by her for nothing. what's wrong with her? i think she's mental. and xiao hui has to rub it in. i already told her i'm upset about this whole thing, but she laugh at that. and her laugh was " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA". what's so funny? i don't think it's very nice for you to laugh when people are upset. just like i stop showing my happiness when i got into the jc i want and other people are crying coz they couldn't. sometimes you got to be a little more sensitive. yes, i know it's fun, xiaohui has already told me and i'm happy for her. but when i told her i'm very sad about it, and she told me after that that it was super fun and that i missed out all the fun, something's really wrong. i know all these, thanks for reminding me. i'm not being a super sour grape here that she's enjoying all the fun and i can't and that she has to be sad like me, but at least be more sensitive and stop laughing when i already say i'm sad. utterly depressed.

whoa maths is driving me mad liao. so i'm taking a break by blogging. haha. and the maths answers provided are so qi guai. hmm O_o

anyway, i'm so glad clara is able to take my place! HAPPY OK. it's not as if i don't want to go for my work attachment lah; i would want to go for my work attachment if there were no dance. but she has to make things difficult for me lor. hate her to bits. grrrr. to think me and xiaohui were so excited making plans. yesterday night was so hectic coz i was calling everyone i know like a crazy woman to find a replacement. if i can't find a replacement i'd be really in hot soup. THANKS LOADS clara!!! love you muacks. and thanks kenny and xiaohui too! for praying for me. i got pray also but don't know to who haha :) still feeling abit sour coz i've been making plans but it's alright! much much better than my previous situation ^^

*thinking of my vice captain* :))

16/05

tennis

vice-captain

my favourite :)

shit her la (not xiaohui)
i'm so sorry xiaohui. :(((

my sis came back today! woo!
gotta go study for my mid year!
everybody jiayou! all the best :))

today's a new day. i've found back myself, found a new direction in life. i've fallen countless times, picked up myself many times, and i've set my mind to do well and no obstacles that get in my way will hinder my path to success. i won't let myself be defeated, i will pull up my socks and be a whole new person who's not so vulnerable anymore. i'm sorry i scared you people somehow but i'm really ok now. not depressed anymore, but driven. believe me ok? and yes, i will not do anything silly julianah haha. i know all of you worry about me and i could feel your concern for me. i'm not trying to hide my depression. i'm really ok =) i'm seeking help now in my studies whenever i'm not sure about anything, and that really helps and gives me the peace and solace i have now. if working hard doesn't help, i'll work harder. have faith!

i had leadership interviews today. at first when it wasn't my turn i was still laughing and playing around but when i was summoned in my heart almost jumped out! i could feel my heart thumping ok. but i managed to answer the questions asked by the seniors properly. they were so demanding la =P. then after that when i walked out of the school i heard a basketball bouncing behind me. i was guessing it was yongyong so i spun around and it was really her! haha =)) and when i reached the mrt station i ran into pamela! haha i dunno why but seeing them really made me feel comfort. i love my life, coz i found that there are things worth loving for, and i can make new things worth loving for. it's all up to me. =)

i cried today in school coz of chemistry spa. it's the first time i broke down in school in front of my friends. i'm so sorry =( i think i really scared them off. thanks alot to julianah xiaohui eileen rina and shalini for being there for me. it's rare i would cry in school today coz normally i would be able to control myself. and then seeing how others got the correct answers and only me getting the wrong answer made me feel so useless. i did it correctly but i rubbed it off and put the wrong one. what's the point of saying this. it's still wrong. shit me. i got back my chem test today too. wow double blow. i didn't study for ideal gas coz my planning was all screwed up. i'm so upset now tears are welling up in my eyes. i want to do well. i want to. i really do. but no matter how i study i still fail like shit. and when i say shit it is really shit. and people please don't console me coz it makes me feel worse, like i'm some human trash. they don't understand and they will never understand, just like how they can't figure out why i could cry over chem spa. it's because i've done so badly for other tests i want to do well in this so much. they will never understand coz no one has ever gone through what i'm going through. no one has ever failed like i have. flunking spa doesn't seem to be a big deal but i really want to prove to myself and others that i don't fail my tests all the time and i can get nice marks like other people too. the sadness sinks in and i'm crying. when can this sort of life end?! i'm really upset. thanks julianah for reminding me not to do anything silly. i hate my life. I HATE IT. period.

i'm sorry i'm not as cheerful today as i'm supposed to be for cheryl's birthday party today. just wanna wish her a happy 17th birthday, i'll love her always.

saw apriee just after i parted with kenny. she's really sweet and she said something that made me laughed. miss her loads.

i wrote the following long time ago but i didn't have time to post it:

21 may
today went to send my sister off at the airport at 5. she's going taiwan for holiday! so fun. have to wake up at 4 k! super tired. i wasn't really excited going to the airport partly because i was really tired and i went there before 3 months ago to send shuyan off. haha anyway it wasn't me who's going on a holiday, so i was so beat and a bit no mood. ate breakfast there then walk here walk there take photos and we're done! my sis is off to taiwan! she'll be coming back on friday :) yay

alright! yesterday was my big day! haha. MI carnival was quite ok but the haunted house was the most fun! better than aj's =P coz their house was REALLY pitch black and you can't see anything even yourself. so in the end the girls got lost hahaha. i think it's my fault ok! coz i didn't hold hands =PPP haha we got so freak out la hahahaha coz the ghost holding a skull came after us who became a bunch of screaming girls already. haha so fun! then i ate alot oops. was trying to spend all the ten dollars ma. after pigging we took quite a lot of photos while that person keep on harping on it! idiot. in the beginning i was traumatised but now i'm pissed off. anyway other than that we really had a great time! yayness. S10 (:

Hwa Chong Institution vs Anderson Junior College
44 : 36

aj lost the basketball finals. amerlyn's botak cried. how sad, and i felt like crying too. i cheered so much, so loudly, and there were so many of us. much much more than Hwa Chongians. so i thought we would win. this time majority doesn't work. at first we were leading, then second half of round 1 and whole of round 2 two teams were hovering at the same marks. then round 3. we lost. at least i had gone for the basketball finals and experienced the aj spirit there. it's really different and you'd feel like you are really participating in the competition. no matter what, i'm just proud of our aj basketballers. U GUYS ROCK. coz we've got the sportsmanship and team spirit! they fought till the end and didn't give up although it was pretty clear we were losing already for the last 3 minutes. as long as the guys did their best, it's ok =) i can see their effort. next year i'm going again. woohoo!





I realise there are 10 changes which people undergo after joining Dance.
you
1) become more vain
2) start to like the you-once-thought-was-hideous colour pink
3) walk like you float
4) cut your fringe HAHA
5) love putting LOTS AND LOTS of super duper colourful hairpins on your head
6) become a bimbo (pretty face no brains)
7) make a BIG fuss over a teeny weeny pimple
8) go on diet ALL the time
9) become a narccissist
10) like to wear tubes (not me) (:

I don't want to look like someone who's from dance. coz i'm special =)
so i shall continue being the chor lor girl i am. I AM STILL ME. the unique one ;)

i don't know if i should feel sad or happy. i'm so happy today coz the tests for this week are over! went out for lunch with julianah shalini and xiaohui today at banquet. it rocks man! but not the onions x/ haha. chocolate ball is the nicest yummy. we bought nicey earrings for ourselves :)) i'm so excited coz we're going for our school's basketball finals tmr! against HCI. yay. we're gonna WIN. i love my class and i'm really happy today she's making an effort to change. everybody is everybody's friend =). i realise i'm getting really outdated coz i don't have time to blog. then when i'm outdated i don't feel like blogging altogether. sick. cheryl and yongyong can't make it on saturday. cheryl told me she wanted to try her idea, but now she sounds like she's not going to do it. why. yongyong's bball training's from 3 to 7 so maybe she can meet us before that. the spirit of 06S10 will haunt the classrooms of Millennia Institute forever! sounds like a curse. yeah it is haha. i watched a ghost movie yesterday called into the mirror. it's more of gross than scary. ek. there's chem spa next week. a levels again. boo.



i stole it from xiaohui's blog. haha =P

went for cl concert with eileen today! to support xiaohui haha. she's the backstage crew so the both of us were so SUPER excited when we saw her moving the tables. never waste our 5 dollars ma haha. the two of us shouted "XIAOHUI WO AI NI" so loudly the j2s were looking at us and probably wondering who's xiaohui haha xP the short skits were very meaningful and i almost cried for one part k. coz the person said people often forget the old when they got the new, and they either take the old for granted or they chuck it one side since the novelty's gone. somehow i felt a little guilty.

anyway, mdm khoo gave us a surprise chem test today! omg. it was supposed to be next week but she happily gave us a lightning bolt. we were so irritated with her and she heard us saying it. ha! just as well. i don't see what's the point of having tests when we have 99.9 percent of failing it since we didn't study. i reckon aj teachers enjoy seeing us fail. coz the first intakers said gp teachers diedie also mark us as failures. sadists! all of them. i just got back my maths test. my result is as "nice" as usual and ironically kenny just told me he may top his class for maths. haha. good for him yup! i just set my new resolution to do well! i want more candy than kenny =D

I WILL FINISH ALL MY HOMEWORK BY MONDAY.

had our dance performance yesterday! it's finally over! oh man. it's not that i want it to be over haha. it's because all of us practised really hard for it and the training hours were really really long. during the last rehearsal all of us were so sad when our dance instructor said she didn't want to come up the stage to acknowledge that she choreographed for all our dances, coz she thought we danced real awfully. =(( actually we did do badly. she told us "tiao4 hao3 hao3 wo3 jiu4 shang4 tai2" so we put in 110 percent for our actual one!!! we really love our dance instructor and want her to come on stage. all of us were so happy when she came up, coz it meant she acknowledge us as her work, and that all our efforts paid off. everyone cried and hugged each other the moment the stage curtains closed (: they were tears of joy, gratitude and relief! we were touched by one another, by ourselves, that each and everyone's hardwork made this night go smoothly. then i realised i shouldn't have cried, coz it made my eye liner run and i look like i got bashed up in the eye. haha

juanjuan was the first one i met and she gave me this lovely bouquet of flowers! thanks alot! and then yenyen xiaohui and julianah came over =D yenyen said my costume looked like pyjamas haha. took some photos with my mother and sis heehee. after that i saw bertram kenny pamela yongyong denise and sharyn =D was elated to see them. i love the roses coz they're everlasting, just like our friendship. haha the best thing was my teachers seniors and friends gave us alot of chocolates. yummy! my favourite. before my concert cheryl sent me a lovely message. yes i know you're with me, i can feel it =)

first intakers could take part in two dances. but i've never ever thought it was a pity coz i wouldn't have known my mi friends if i was a first intaker. it's definitely worth it!