Rezeki

A wake up call. Literally.

We sometimes forgot. I question...
Why I don't get this, they get it.
When is my time?
What's gonna happen to me?

I came across this tweet. So sudden. Kinda a thing to shake me, a slap to my face. Haha.

ALLAH matters. HE is mattered to me!

Not material and dunya things that I should look at. How Allah looks at me?

Kindness and adapting

Kindness.

I think I rarely hear that word but we expect it so much from people around us. Family. Friends. Colleagues. Acquaintance. Even from strangers.

Does kindness means, being polite? Being patient? Should you let out your anger to people? When the only thing you need is actually time and sanity. When you think you are always right, you are wrong already. (Even I always say that I always right to people haha. I was joking around tau)
When we are in pain, we forgot about other people and we hurt them instead.

That's why Allah tells you to calm your anger.

Adapting.

Bad thingssss. Happen to you. So many times. You cry over it. You overthink it.

The truth is, you need to move forward and take it as a lesson. Of course, have silver lining. But you can only see it when you find new things in life that matters or improve what you have. Move quickly. I know it is hard cause you still ponder upon it. Most of us move only when we laughed at ourselves and see that we are such a fool to be at the same sad spot.

When you move, going to your new direction/goal. You might take a long time to reach there. But you know what, be optimistic and enjoy the journey. Worry things that you can control like your attitude, your mental health. The rest, the timing, the goal itself, Allah knows what, when, how, who, where are the good stuffs for you. I mean the details. Ultimate goal, Allah's blessing and HE will never leave you when you never leave HIM. The bad things sometimes were given to you cause you no longer on the right path. You snap..then you only return to HIM. How sad is that but at least we know Allah still guide us. 

If you have to choose to do the right thing or be kind. Choose TO BE KIND. 

Something to ponder....

Those handbags, clothes

I really need to save my moneyyyyy!

Wow! I don't know that I will be here saying this cause I have a vacation coming in 24 days!

First step, puasa. Lose weight too. I usually gain weight while travelling. Hardly to find low carb foods and tend to eat everything in front of me when I am tired. Cannot think straight, mannn!

Second step, don't buy things. Groceries only! Oh can la if shampoo or toothbrush or things yang sama waktu dengannya.

Third step, hold on to entertainment stuff! Like theater or gigs or concerts or shows. I am glad i didn't buy the Bruno Mars ticket last month. Haha.

-forgot to post this, written on 6 sept 2017, before my HCM trip-

The beauty of the ugly

I hardly blog nowadays cause I don't have PC/laptop with me at Ampang ( and maybe cause I'm lazy too). Social media like Instagram, Facebook and twitter make it much easier to update bout your daily life or keeping memory online =) . Upload picture with happy caption, done. Write deep quote with only 140 characters, done. Literally like 20 seconds(exclude time of filtering the pictures LOL). Blog? Might take 20minutes.

Back to this post's title. I really need to post this one btw.

1. The ugly.

I had the worst nightmare so far that I can remember. I was trapped in a moving train with a number of people at night. We were finding ways to stop the train. A killer was inside the train who looks like the dementors from Harry Potter. He was actually looking/ trying to get me and would kill anyone he encountered.

I was quite brave at first cause I wasn't there alone. Somehow, the train stopped and all of us was rushing to run from the killer. Suddenly, I feel the 'responsibility to stop him from killing innocent people since he's looking for me. Instead of running far away from the train, I turn to face him, with only a big papan in my hand. I was freaking out. " I dont want to do this but I have to stop him" was what actually in my mind.  He saw me standing there alone, others..I dont know where, might been few km from where the killer saw me. The guy run/fly to me with incredible speed. My hands held the papan tightly, ready to swing even I dont know if it will make him stop. He was so near! Near me and ready to hurt me. I screamed and woke up!

I was in my room in Melaka. It's dark, the door was opened. I was still in fear, it feels super real. Even now, I can still feel the fear from last night. I sat on my bed, trying to remember and recite any surah/zikr but I couldn't. I tried to lie down and go back to sleep but it stuck in my head. Maybe it is the fear that he might turn up in my dream again. "I need my mom. Is she sleeping with my sisters? I hope not". Went to living room, hoping Mak fell asleep there. She was. I lied next to her and fast asleep.

2. The beauty of it?

The feeling that I still need my mom, the feeling that you need someone to hold on in your life. I thought I've grown up, independent and can live on my own. I was wrong though. I love you, Mak =')

End of 2016

This feels surreal. I would like to conclude that 2016 is the best year for me yet. I just realised during my birthday month (October) that I was totally blessed. Of course, truly loves it when people surpised me with cakes, candles, balloons and celebration. So many birthday suprises that made me realise that I'm surrounded by nice and wonderful people. Alhamdulillah.
It's not about the celebration, it's about the wishes and duas. I look back what happened this year, so many good things. New friends, new people...slowly become your good friends. And I travelled few times. Visit Egypt and Bangkok.
Of course, there challenges that teach me to be a tougher and better person in shaa Allah.

May Allah makes my year of 2017 better than 2016 and a better me. Aminnn.

Day 1

Going to see the king. He will decide if I'm going to the battlefield or not. I'm by myself. I can decide if I don't want to fight.

I can choose my cheerleaders.  They gonna support me.

I hope this post will end here. No more day 2 or 3. Hoping that it is just me..Over thinking.

Sunday Blues

Everytime balik Melaka for the weekend...mesti sedih ari ahad. Sebab dah nak kena balik KL...

Plus, a presentation is coming this Wednesday. Fine! Will take 2 days leave. Tak nak masuk office seminggu! So that I can spend more time in Melaka. Teehee.

Every department is different. I wish Fixed Income dept. is care enough about us, MTs. But to think again, do I care enough about learning in Fixed Income? Nak complain org, kena tgk diri sendiri gak. Kadang2 complain, lecturers ajar tapi kita tak faham. So, we need to learn more by ourselves. Kalau the other side susah nak improve, kita improve diri kita pulak.

My blues will start on Sunday instead of Monday everytime balik Melaka. T_T