Those memories

I was a bit of frustrated over some stuff today.
And then I saw this girl going for a swim.
The girl remind me of someone words.
I remember someone told me to do some sports to relax myself.
There I go, few minutes later Im in the swimming pool.
Actually, they are the same person.
I am such a fool.
I wish I could be brave.

convocation

Convocation on this saturday.
Dad and mom can't come.
It's make me feel disappointed.

So tension

Yes I'm currently in tension mode.
There are so many things to do.
K bai.

Sighhh

So many things to do, so little time to do.
Feel kinda tension with bunch of works.

20th Birthday

1117
Its the most simplest birthday I ever have.
Spend whole day doing flash assignment, watch some youtube, take some nap time and that's it.
Day just passed like that.
Thanks to people who wishes me.
I think I haven't make my wish yet.
Before I off,
I wish everyone will get what they want for their life.
And I wish to be better than before.

Ughh

Lots of things in my mind.
I should shut down now.
To avoid all the thinking.

Little this little that

To be honest, there is an urge in myself wanted to talk to her.
But at the same time, it makes my wonder if I'm worth it.
I know she is busy with her final year stuff.
I wonder if I will become an unwanted problem.

There is a quote I found today.
"You don't have to be better for anyone. But you can be the best for the right person. "
It will be very childish if I say I will be the best for a girl.
I learnt from someone that we should not make promises because we don't know if we can hold onto it.
All we can do is to try our best in everything, for anyone.

Don't really know what I'm wanna say.
I guess is the side effect of the med I took.
Good night world.  Get well soon me.

kids nowadays

seriously, kids nowadays having a Facebook account with almost 3k friends?
and also their own Facebook page with lots of subscribers?
and these kids are like 13 or 15.
what happen to this next generation?
bunch of poisoned teenagers.
when I'm at your age,
I don't look for fame, attention, dress myself with latest fashion, or even camwhore and upload pics everyday to Friendster/Blogspot/Facebook.
Whats wrong with kids nowadays?!

...

Tomorrow night going back to home after 3 weeks.
I should rest well before continue with college stuff again.
Mid term later. Wish me luck.

You Should Know

You are sweet, you are lovely,  you are special. Nite.

November

Its already November.
I'm usually dislike this month.
Birthday is coming soon.
I don't really like it.
For years, I used to celebrate it alone, by doing nothing at home.
That's why, I dislike it.

How Do I Feel

This is the first time i blog using mobile app.
I've been thinking alot bout someone recently.
There is a strong feel inside me, wish to tell her how I feel bout everything.
But in reality, does she feel she need to care?
Who am I actually in her world?
Does I even exist in her world?

ahhh so busy

yes i've been busy with college stuff.
adv diploma is srsly tiring.
legal issue, flash, mobile computing, object-oriented assignmets, midterms and more stuff need to be done.
gonna go for a Windows 8 workshop tomorrow as well.
had a talk with a friend from UK.
We are going to code a game from scratch and release it to public.
And I'm getting 5% of the ownership,
which technically making me a freelance programmer, and get payment monthly.
its still in the planning progress though.
i guess i should off now
bye

feel like blogging

yeah 1.10am here
doesnt feel like sleeping although have morning class later.
been listening to 988 radio.
All those songs are like calming my mind.

We are the master of our time.
We have the power to make the time slow or fast.
And we always hope to have the power to stop time.

attitudes

friend said I should change my attitude.
But why?
I'm always pissed when something done without planning.
When I plan, no one cares.
Things get delayed, time wasted.
Who wouldn't not pissed if things are done without any planning?

I dislike friends who change their mind with what they wanna say or do, for like every minutes.
Seriously, I dislike this type of people, as what the Chinese said, "God is you, ghost is also you"

I dislike us doing stuff like we are the most influential people and others should give privileges to us first.
We are nobody in this society and I don't want to be special by disrespecting others.

I wish I can tell you all sometimes we are making these mistakes.
But most of you think I'm just some immature friend with immature ideology.
You think I'm the one with the lowest IQ and EQ among us.
Whatever man.
The life is yours.
Not mine, I have my own life, own world, and only me can understand myself.

coincidence ?!

you was just right in front of me.

and I can feel that you saw me as well.

must be.

it must be very sweet to have someone you like, lying in your arms, sleeping.
to be able to hug them, kiss them,
its like the best thing ever in life.
not some sex or french kiss,
but just hugging someone you love, lying in your arms while sleeping.
its gonna be a very long day today.
enjoy.

being push around

I hate being push around like I'm no body and not important.
Friends treated me that way yesterday during class.
All decide for me to join other group for assignment.
Fuck I dont need anyone to decide for me,
The moment you decide for me, its being very disrespecting for me.
My mom treated me the same when I was young and I never spoke to her for 7 years till recently.
I'm not a ball for you to kick around.
Show some respect.

changes

Human will change.

Personalities, appearance, feeling and many more.

Some people who used to be a close friend, can easily be a "Hi & Bye" friend.

Love interest who used to be a friend, can easily be a stranger to each other.

People who used to be a kid who never cares bout future, can think about it seriously when the time has come.

When someone said "Hey I think you changed a lot", most of the people will deny it, because they never realized they changed.

But if you said this to me, I will accept the fact.

I become fatter, I think of my studies and future after proceeding to Adv Diploma, 

I feel that friends I know from everywhere, become a "Hi Bye" friend, maybe because I decided not to let anyone to try and understand me.

And the girl, we are like stranger to each other. And I dont wish to let her know I'm actually still read and know what she write here and there or somewhere. 

To be honest, there are many small little things I know bout her. 

How I'm able to recognize her at anywhere, but acted like I didn't see her. 

Still remember the first time I noticed her bag and her back at the LRT counter.

And that was like some time during OO Night 2011.

It sounds like I'm a stalker, yeah I admit it, 

But there's always something special bout her.

"Personalities, appearance, feeling and many more."

I think I wanna go UK for Degree without register for local degree cert which is from Campbell.

It means Im taking a very big risk to make sure I don't fail any subjects in Adv. Dip.

I might even need to stop joining OO to avoid any problem although I know I will worry of the event.

Ahh I just need this place to burst out my feeling and thoughts.

Bye.

little updates

i passed Diploma with CGPA 2.9.
sigh should put more effort last semester.
i've been battling with myself this few days.
asking whether I should say it or not.
thinking of what will you feel if i say it,
for someone who never talk to you for a very long time,
for someone who doesn't know you well,
after how i treated you.
yeah brain been thinking of this and that.
and finally i did what i think is right.
happy birthday.

signing off.
night.

news

becca decided to share with me a good news.

she is in a relationship now.

Well, I'm happy for my sis.

Because of her Virgo personalities, I never expect it will be that soon.

I do feel happy for her,

but at the same time, i feel sad for myself.

no need to mention why.

and to be honest, becca's personalities do remind me of someone.

this holiday is killing me.

result is on 18th Sept.

I've done nothing useful except working for text-based game as a Game Moderator and also coding poker games for the game.

Wish to complete it asap.

Wish the time will pass faster.

All this feeling and thinking are killing me.

i tried

i tried to move on.
it's been few weeks, or probably few months.
but the feeling is still there.

its awkward

to pretend not seeing you when we bump with each other.
not trying to be cool or stupid,
i'm just doesn't wanna face the awkwardness.
you was just right in front of me.

the consequences

I believe that the moment we see each other somewhere,

We will act like ignoring each other.

I think I'm the main reason for all this bullshits.

And I don't want anyone to feel awkward.

When I saw you, I will act like you are not there.

When you saw me, I will act like I didn't see you.

Things come to this situation, and I don't know how to describe my feeling.

Saw someone who look like you.

I'm not sure it is you or not.

But she left holding the bf's hand.

The girl make me wonder

If that girl is you,

How should I accept the truth?

How may I heal myself?

relax for 10 minutes

Kinda stress with the mini project now.
Tomorrow need to present something new and now still coding it.
I'm stuck with the array count.

Saw you running today.
That's all I wanna express.
Back to work, signing off.

What's up

Yeah I'm back.
Been busy and lazy recently.
Been through a lot of things at the same time.
Friends, family, assignments, and life.
Life is such a drama.
Some friends can't be trusted.
Showing my phone to people without my permission, and at last got complaint for invading privacy.
Seriously, my phone is my privacy as well.
Well, that's not my point bout all this privacy thing.
Sorry for what I had done.
I did what you asked.
But my point is, some friends in my life can't be trusted at all.

Friends love to do stuff without planning.
I'm kinda dislike their habit, maybe because of what I learnt from event.

Assignments,
Don't know why I'm feeling lazy to do it.
Too many requirements from tutor make me feel lazy.

Back to normal life, without everyday thinking about OO.
Been dreaming about OO though.
Event failed in the dream, every times.
I wonder what's wrong with me.

Will be back soon.
I wonder when.
Sign off. Kbai.

It's over

Finally,
After 3 months +, after 1 whole year for myself,
OO Night 2012 is finally over.
To be honest,
Some of us almost gave up because our rehearsals are totally shit.
Seriously, me myself doesn't know how to run the show when the show doesn't prepared well.
While behind the curtain with the finalists before the show start,
I talked to them.

"I watched your rehearsal this morning, and I feel like crying. I feel so touched looking at your growth throughout the event. No matter what audiences gonna said after tonight, you all are always the best for me."


Yeah, that's my words for them at that moment.
Even though I feel like giving up, but I wanted them to know we will go through this together till the end.
And so, I cued the show to start.
Things looked so different.
The finalists showed us something different from their rehearsals.
We never expect the flow will run so smoothly.
Finally, the show is finished without any troubles.
It's a miracle for everyone.

Thanks to the people who are with me till the end,
Thanks to the people who criticized me.
Thanks to the people who willing to help me out.
Thanks to you for coming around, although I acted like I don't know about it.
Thanks to OO Night 2012, for setting me free from my pain.
I think I learnt alot this year.
I guess if there is still a chance, I'll be back again.
As what Mr Yik said,
"Last year is for you to learn, this year is for you to grow up, and next year might be for you to become the real Program Master".

sigh

whenever I'm doing something halfway,
someone will complete it before me.
it makes me feel like I'm doing nothing and useless.
I know all of us wanted the night to be awesome.
I told you to compare the checklist with mine later, and yet you posted yours into facebook and told everyone this is the final checklist while I'm sleeping.
Seriously, what the fuck man.
I don't know what else I can say.

"Why the APM so stress but the PM so relax?"
Someone said that right infront of me yesterday.
Man, what do you expect?
You want me to look stress infront of you?
With all the shit happened behind the scene and you said I'm so relax?
Do I have to show the world I'm stress?
Do I have to show you that I'm worried of being taken over again like last year?
People expecting this and that from me.
I have my own way to settle stuff.
Why keep on hoping I'll be the same like others?
Fuck you!

6 days

6 days left.
I don't know what to say.
Working with people who doesn't want to listen to advises, and have a very strong ego is totally sucks.
I know no point blaming each other.
No matter what I did to make sure the program doesn't went shit,
This dude won't listen to my words.
Well, I'm fed up with this kind of asshole since last week.
Go on with your ego.
I will just do my part.

Problem been occurred recently.
I might sounds like blaming people,
But I think I fail this year.
I fail to be a better leader.
Keep advising them not to do this and that,
Keep asking them to approach me before they make any decisions,
But no one seems to listen or care.
Is it me being a weak leader?
Or this year people are being egoistic and want to get all the fame for their job?
I seriously have no idea.


Went to 8TV Ultimate Power Star Grand Final.
I saw how their committees work and it makes me nervous for our Night.
6 days left.
I'm gonna do my best till the Actual Night is over.
People who are reading this,
Give me some support and strength.

2 weeks left

yeah 2 weeks left.
i wish i can do much more better.
i did my part,
but still, people complained about me doing nothing, or done a shit job.
no point telling the world i did a lot of things.
Maybe for you, I done nothing, and for me, I done many things.
Only me and Jack took down the buntings today, while both of us have the right to ask others to do it.
We asked, but some people who was free, doesn't give a shit at all.
If some people still think I done nothing, or put not enough effort, I don't know how to describe them.
Sometimes I'm wondering,
What am I suppose to do to satisfy all this people?

such a week

had conflicts with Jack and things are sorted out.
but I never thought that there are still some people who think I'll be emo when people being straight-forward in telling me something.
And, what hurt me the most is, you are one of the people who think of that.
Seriously, if i'm still that type of people, I won't even decided to join back OO.

Argued with seniors who are so close-minded person.
Being called a retard is no fun, especially it came from someone you respected.
lazy to talk much bout this issue.

Is that really important?
The success of event will determine your worth in everyone's heart?
I found out that most of the people from last year still look down at me in generally.
Suddenly lost motivation now.
I started to be more demanding this time.
Asking for this and that.
I know it's not enough.
There's still more I need to do.
How much I wish someone will stand right beside me,
And tell me "You will be fine. Keep up man. You can do more than that."

How much I wish I can go back to home now, to my own room, and stay there silently till I feel better.
I think someone will think that Im just stupid or being emo for writing all this meaningless thing.
Well, I don't know how to defend myself anymore.
People never able to understand me.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Maybe I shouldn't even blog anymore.
People will misunderstand me, and wont understand me.

nervous!

yeah im nervous.
tomorrow outdoor photoshooting.
to be honest, without Ben, Jo or Rachel, things are seriously different.
No one gonna push or advice me.
I need to figure out how to handle stuff.
I don't wish to be cruel,
But I guess I should stop letting my assistant to take over the whole thing.
I know we need a perfect night, but I prefer to let the younger generation to learn something.
For some people, perfection is very important.
But for a sentimental person like me, nothing is more important than experiences and learning.
Don't know why, but I feel that it's insecure to blog this out.
But mehh. Im heading to bed. 3 hours of sleep won't be enough.
Peace. Bai.

im tired

Yes I'm kinda tired now.
Had arguments with committees during the meeting.
Not going to say much.
But I guess I must trust them no matter what.

Maybe you didn't notice,
But I saw you recently.
Basketball court, football field, car park, Canteen 2.
I don't know why when I wish not to think of you, you will appear just right there.
Seeing you smiling there and also busy with stuff.
I don't know why am I writing this.
I guess I don't wanna forget all these random moment seeing you from far away.

I think I crap too much. Might just off to bed. Kbai.

random thought

A "sorry" is not enough, and 100 "sorry" is not enough either.

The moment when you make someone dislike you, they will remember the reason till forever.

No matter how many times of "sorry", its still useless.

Things won't be back to the same.

No matter how hard and sincere you change yourself to make them forgive you, 

Things won't feel the same.

They choose to close their eyes and heart ignoring the changes we make.

They are blinded by the words "I dislike you".

Sometimes I'm wondering why I'm still here, not giving up on changing myself, learning what to do in life.

Everything seems meaningless for me right now.

Today post is totally random.

Nothing to do with anyone and anything.

It's just me, tired of this and that, here and there, you and me.

Memorable

It was a memorable experience.
One of my finalist, Annie cant feel her leg and felt down during training.
Me and a Finalist Co. accompanied her in the ambulance heading to HKL.
She went unconscious in the ambulance for a moment and it was a very scary moment for me.
We tried to wake her up and thanks god, she responded to us.
We reached there around 10pm, and her parents arrived 1 hour later.
We was at there till 3.30am.

Such a poor girl.
I'm not sure with the real problem, but I guess something went wrong with her spinal cord.
Such a heartbreaking moment when she cried because of the pain.
She asked me to let her stay in OO.
She wanted to end her dancing life on the stage of our Actual Night.
Her words touched my heart to be honest.
I guess I will try my best to make sure she can shine on the stage that night.
Although I'm not good in training the finalists,
But at least I can pay more attention on her and make sure she can make it.
Be strong Annie.

why?

Friends keep asking why I join back OO even though I know the consequences.
Meetings, training, studies and the stress.
They said if I stay away from OO, I can stay away from the consequences.
They doesn't know what I'd been through and I don't feel like explaining everything to them.
Flashback is hurt.

To be honest,
I'm tired of everyday thinking bout OO especially the PDs.
Even now, I'm lazy to type anything about OO.
Maybe if the PDs be more mature, I wont feel like shit now.
But I guess it's pointless to tell them that they are wrong since they never wanted to listen, and always think they are right.

And you,
I'm honestly hurt.
There is still no reply from you.
Either you no longer wanted to reply me, or you don't know how to reply me, or you just simply forgotten to reply me.
If you care to know, I've been waiting for your reply everyday.
I remember telling you this,
"If you started to ignore me from this moment, that will be really heartbreaking."


This is me,
Heartbroken but trying to act like nothing in front of everyone especially roommates,
Signing off.

been awhile

yeah is been awhile I'm away from blogging
been busy all the day for OO stuff.
just kinda recover from sick, well there's still a bit of coughing.
just wanna say I'm tired.
PDs are pissing me off to be honest.
Bunch of self-centered and selfish people.
I don't think they will respect me anymore since they got back a few PDs from last year.
Same people will just cause same old shit.
New people can't do any shit and have to depend on them.
If you cant lead your team then just quit.
I don't mind if you are willing to learn.
But all I see is you rely too much on them.
Don't rely on seniors who already have a corrupted mind.
You are giving yourself, myself and the committees a lot of troubles now.

Expect

I expect more from you after I voice out what I feel.
Not just a line of words.

Bad

I never expect you will say something that nice.
It might be the nicest thing you ever said to me.
I want you to know that I will do the same for you as well.
About today, I shouldn't let that happened.
I shouldn't said stupid things.
It doesn't sounds like me at all.
I should just punch myself in the face for being stupid.
The heart feel so uncomfortable at all.
Might just go for a jog tomorrow morning.
Alone.

New Semester

This should be my first time blogging at Metro.
Been busy since last week.
1st class for Diploma Year gonna start tomorrow, and OO training started since yesterday.
This semester gonna be a very hectic sem.
Hope everything will be fine.
Recently I'm reading a book named "Simple Steps to Positive Living" by Jenny Hare.
Found this interesting sentence from her :
"My positive energy is mine to recognize, mine to practice, mine to use to light up my life."
I guess I should off for now.
Be back soon.

busy week

next week gonna be busy week.
Orientation Week is on next week, as well as OO Audition Week.
Seriously hope things will goes well.
Moved to Metro last Thursday.
Only me in the room for now.
Feel so bored.
I'm kinda love the night view of KL.

changes

SMK Cochrane does change a lot right after my batch left the school.
From an academic school, its now becoming like a orchestra/pub/Istana Budaya.
Students skipping class for band training, which is for YPT prize giving ceremony,
Cheerleaders blast the music and dance like their in pub, right infront of students.
Kebudayaan Club play their gong and other instrument for an unknown event.
Doesn't see much people holding books and read like my batch.
School and government spends too much money for Cochrane's city-school concept, but they forget that students academic is important as well.
So what if the building is 7 floor tall, with lifts, or air-cond in library/office?
Students result are kinda dropping to be honest.
And students nowadays are getting more rude and punkass.

During our time, we were the golden age.
Actives in cocu, and also good in studies, although i failed my part.
But we are still the badass batch during that time.
Me being the most hated Librarian because I like to shout and strict,
Faiz being the only student with more than 5 important post.
Debbie for the most sweet and nice prefect (Yes Debbie, i expect you to read this soon :P)
Me, Rahmat and Nizam being the "Librarian Three Musketeers" because we are always stay back in the library together to do stuff.

Speak bout Library,
It become worst.
After Three Musketeers left, many things changed.
Teacher-In-Charge come and go.
And now come the teacher who doesn't remember anything bout the OPAC system.
Most of the process having problem because of this.
I don't blame her though, especially now there is no technician helping her in library.
She was alone all the time, no one to share the problems,
And although I'm not close with her during my time,
The way she looked at us when we find her, is kinda pity, tired, and trouble.
I guess she felt glad because we came.
At least we was there to listen her heart.
School still doesn't want to take initiative to solve it and create more trouble.
When come to blaming, the teacher will definitely get blame.
So-called city-school.
Focus more on prefectorial board, and still doesn't give a shit bout library.

Ahhh. I don't know what else to say.
K so, finally bought a laptop bag, leather shoes, stationary and a self help book.
All for RM100++
My leg is dead for now. Walked too much.
To Do List for Tomorrow/Later:
1) Pack clothes
2) Cut hair
3) Move to Setapak(maybe at night)
4) Get ready to fight for OO!

By the way,
谢谢你。你今天让我笑了一阵子。
我觉得应该要和你多说/写点华语了。 X)

sooner or later

Took me a while to think whether I should tell you or not.
But I guess sooner or later, you will know.
Glad to chat with you like normal.
I always wanted a chance to talk to you like a normal friend.
I guess it will take me some time to treat you like 1 of my important friend.

Back to business,
I seriously hate doing event with a bitchy person.
Last time was the PD, now is PD again.
But I prefer the last time more than you.
At least she will talk nicely with me after we know each other well.
But you? wtf.
I know u the moment u joined as the finalist.
And I know your attitude well.
The way you ask something to be done is like you are asking maid to do stuff.
And you talk to me like you have more experience than me.
Maybe you should know that the only person who can act like this is the Top M and me, although we wont.
K done whining.
Gonna deal with you soon.

Everyone seems stress up.
I wish I could join them earlier.
But I gotta deal with the moving.
Please stay strong.
We gonna survive this together.

worth or not

sometimes I wonder,
Am I worth to appear in your thought sometimes?

Promises

When a guy loves a girl,
They will promise a lot of things.
Me myself experienced that before.
It doesn't important how many promises you have made for a girl.
Who cares if you promise you will love a girl with all your heart?
Who cares if you promise you will do exactly what a girl want you to do?
Who cares if you promise you can give anything to a girl?
Girls doesn't fancy the promises.
All they want is,
To see how strong the feeling you put to keep the promises.
To see whether you can keep the promises or not.
To see how you overcome the obstacles given by them to keep the promises.

Sorry to read what you wrote today.
It does really hurt me.
I know I'm one of them.
Sorry for making you uncomfortable.
Even though I'm not your type,
But I'm the type of person who never mess around with promises.
Do you know,
If I choose to give up on you after you rejected me twice,
I would also choose to let go the most painful memories as well?
But yet, I choose to go back to heal the scar, pay for my mistakes, and fulfill what I had promised myself.
Majority of the guys make promises for girls
But not all of them do it for themselves.

A typical guy will say "I promise I will love you."
I prefer to tell you, "I promise I will love you, after I learnt to love myself."
A typical guy will say "I will put a lot of commitment for you."
But I prefer to tell you, "Trust is above all the commitments. I trust myself, I trust you. You trust yourself, You trust me."
A typical guy will say "I will always be there for you."
And yet, I prefer to tell you "I will always be there for u, no matter we are lover, friend, or enemy. Even if you dislike me, or hate me, I will still be there for you, whenever you need me."

This is what I wish to say tonight.
I'm not sure when I will be coming back to here again.
I need to chill.

Questions

Few questions come to my mind at this quiet night.
How things are gonna end in my life?
What should I do for now?
What can I do?
How to be strong?
Am I making a right decision?

silent night again

been a while since my last post.
feeling lazy to blog recently.
gonna sit for my 1st paper this Tuesday.
haven't prepare anything yet to be honest.

Mr. Yik said he knew why I wanted to go back OO.
although he loves to talk, everything he said is very meaningful.
He is like a mentor for me and Weng Chin.
Weng Chin gonna help OO even though he is the APM for TT, well thanks to his PM.
This time, I'm really all alone, no advice or pushing like last time.
But at least, I have this new people to support me, although it's more like I'm supporting them now.

Never seen you act like that before.
Wonder if you are fine or not.
I might talk too much,
But I have no any intention, except hoping you will be fine.

Doesn't feel like studying anymore.
Might just head off to bed, although I know I can't sleep.
Goodnight world.

quiet night

not sure what's in my mind.
feeling so different tonight.
How am I going to be a responsible person?
Facilitator for ATCL,
PM for OO,
Student for TARC,
Friend for friends,
Me for you.
I wish I could be a better person.
I joined ATCL for experiences, but now I'm not sure how much I can contribute since I have a bigger responsible for OO.
I joined OO for the past, to get rid of the scar in my heart and mind, although I'm sure the pain can't be erased forever, but now I'm wondering how things will go, and whether the same thing will happen again.
This time involvement will definitely sacrifices my studies and friends.
Will I able to catch up with all the things?
Friends been disagreeing me for joining OO again.
I'm sorry, maybe for you all, it's easy to forget pain.
But for me, this pain is the most painful memories in my life.
I wanted to do something about this, so that I wont feel regret for the rest of my life.
I disappointed you when you were by my side.
I hope this time, you will be sitting at the VIP seat, and watch my efforts as the Program Master for the one last time.
Such a complicated mind I have tonight.
Might just off to get some sleep.
K peace.

what to do?

mr yik said to me that,
A leader who do the work, is the fail leader.
A leader who order their subordinates do the work, is the successful leader.

a deep breath

before Web Based Programming 2 lab test.
Was busy recently because of the assignments.
Went to overnight on last Thursday,
And rushed assignments till Monday morning.
This is the first time I do assignment with 1 big gang.
We had fun together, feel stress together, and fall sick because of the assignment together.
Thanks God most of us pass for the assignment.
Had my English presentation today.
Hope our result wont be that bad.

On the side note,
The guy who chose to solo for the Web Based assignment,
He didn't present anything or even start coding anything.
But still, the lecturer still allowed him to pass the subject.
To be honest, Im pissed because you pass without doing anything,
Unlike us who slept at 4am for 4 days straight just because of the assignment.
But I know the lecturer's objective.
She wanted you to fail badly in next semester final mini project.
Your ego are too much.
I will sit there and watch you suffer.

It's time to work for OO.
I might just add some new stuff in the Checklist.

Courage

I have the courage to accept the Program Master position,
But I don't have the courage to do some certain thing.
What happen to me?

Seven

7 is a very magical number in Harry Potter series.
The stories end with a total of 7 books.
Harry was born in July, and Ginny is the 7th children of the Weasley's
Voldemort cursed his own soul for 7 Hocruxes, and Harry is the 7th Hocrux.
Hogwarts' students are required to complete their studies in 7 years, and there is 7 secret paths in Hogwarts.

There are also 7th Wonder of The World in ancient, now and also in other categories.
James Bond is the best agent of British Secret Services, with his famous agent code, 007.
7-Up, 7-Eleven, Windows 7 etc.

Apart from all this,
7 is my lucky number. I chose it because 17/11 is my birthday,
And I feel that 7 is the most unique number.
The most important thing is,
There was 6 person who made me grow up understanding what is love & cares.
From a person who never think of anything, but wished to love someone during secondary school,
I learnt and experienced many things from the 6 times failure.
And now, I have meet the 7th.
But who know what's going to happen in future?
J.K Rowling did well in her 7th book.
But God, how are you going to write the 7th book of my life?

no mood no mood

no mood to do assignment.
gonna overnight at friend's house tomorrow for group discussions.
doesn't feel like doing anything now.
might just off to bed.

back for a while

hi long time no blog.
been busy lately.
k so


here's some pieces of me.
good night

no time

there's no time for me to chill around.
feel stress today.
finally I exceeded the essay words minimum required.
but I don't think it's complete yet.

my sis made me feel so touched tonight.
she told me something that no one ever did before.
i wish what she told me, will come true someday.
k im off. peace.

Sunny Day

Today was a sunny day.
Metro Bus's staff scammed me in the morning.
Well, technically it was my fault.
That punk took my RM5.
While giving me the balances, I think he purposely dropped the coins and want me to pick it up.
He hold lots of RM1, and yet he still decided to give me coins.
When I picked up the coins, I miscalculated it and returned him extra 50 cents.
I think he know I made mistake, but yet he decided to remain silent, gave me a weird look, and walked away.
Such an awesome and honest staff here.
I'm not gonna use Metro services anymore.
After all, I'm RapidKL hardcore fans.
RapidKL's management, services, customer's safety precautions and their bus drivers are much more better than Metro.

Ah, assignments are killing me.
Many ideas come in and out.
And it makes me difficult to focus.
Starting to feel stress.

I think

I have a nice sleep last night.
Maybe I was kinda sleepy and tired.
I see the sun this morning.
Feeling good the moment I wake up.
Much more better than yesterday i guess, where it rained right after I left the home >__>
Well, gonna off to college few more minutes.
Sincerely hope it wont rain later :P
K peace thnx bai.

A dream

Been M.I.A for a while due to busy/lazy.

I guess I dreamed of you.
You doesn't smile much.
I miss the silly smile of yours.
But I guess I should be glad to see you, even though it's just a dream.
I can't recall the remaining part of the dream.
Not many people are able to recall their dream, including me.
While the memory is still fresh,
I think I should put it here before the memories gone soon.
A dream is just a dream,
No one able to recall the dream,
But everyone wanted their dream to come true.
But I think,
As long as you are there, still alive and living happily,
That is where my dreams come true.
7.54am.
Will off to college later.
Good morning,
Have a nice and warm day! :)

Without Noticing

Sometimes,
I felt that I've tried to become someone else, without noticing it by myself.
Just got my exam result yesterday.
4B 1C.
I'm actually hoping to get 2As because of the effort i put for it.
Kinda feel disappointed to be honest.
And that's kinda not myself.
I never wish to be greedy.

feeling nervous

omg result coming out soon.
10 hours from now.
I feel so nervous.
arghhhhhhhhhhhh

ATCL

Adjustment To College Life
Went for the Facilitators training today.
Learnt some skills that I can't be arsed to tell.
Met a guy from the same course as you.
Jay, your junior, is one hell of a funny guy.
I was in the same group with him for drama and facilitating training.
Speak about drama,
He acted as the main character and I was a gay faggot who admired him.
We won the drama for overall because of this.
I think some of them taped the whole acting.
Kinda hope it wont appear on Facebook.

So during the lunch time,
I asked him whether he know you.
Well he was kinda shocked, seriously unusual shocking face.
I'm sorry but Weng Chin who was with me that time, told Jaya something he shouldn't said.
At that moment, I feel that his attitude kinda changed.
He became a lil bit quiet than usual.
Feeling weird.

1st Day

K I think I'm gonna blog a bit before I head back to sleep.
1st day of class, not bad.
Receive our assignment question today.
Next week have to pass up Module 1.
Damn fast to be honest.
Week 5 have to submit the whole assignment.
Hope we all will get through it.

I've been feeling good today.
Thought of following your twitter account.
Thought that maybe I should be good and treat you like how a good friend should be treated.
But I scare I will cause more trouble in the future.
Knowing you missed the 1st class,
I did imagined that if we are cool friends,
I might able to remind you bout your class.
If you ever read this,
Sorry for being still stalking.
That's me I guess.

Hell yeah,
I managed to jog 4 rounds today near the Lake.
A very big improvement for me.
Now I'm feeling super-tired because of it.
Go me!
Think I should off to bed now.
So peace out.
Have a wonderful night! :)

not bad

Managed to jog forth and back without taking any rest.
An improvement I never expect.
My buddy told me if I found my source of motivation,
I will be able to do anything I want.
I guess I finally know what is my motivation.

Today, I realized that I had heard and see a lot of grief things for my entire life.
My great-grandmother was the 1st person I know that passed away due to aging.
A great Malay teacher who treated me like her own son, went back to heaven because of some sickness.
I still remember I was with her 2 days before she passed away. Sad case.
Aunt Christine's mother-in-law, which was my neighbor, passed away because of rat poisoning in her food.
Neighbor's son who passed away because of mental issues, such a grief news for his parent.
The father went with him 1 year later due to sickness.
When he is still alive, he used to sing opera at home where the whole apartment can enjoy his singing.
Now, left the wife who told my mom that she feel uncomfortable without his husband sleeping beside her. Touched, but still sad.
At least she still have my family to hang around.
Today, I get a news from my dad that my uncle's mother-in-law passed away due to some disease.
She was like my grandmother when I was still a kiddo.
I think someone asked me something when I was a kid, and I proudly told him I have 3 grandmother.
Well, you all shall rest in peace.
Thanks for being a part of my life.
K enough with grief posts.

Saw a post in Twitter. Not sure what am I thinking.
【十二星座女被谁宠爱最幸福？】白羊女（天秤男）金牛女（巨蟹男）双子女（双鱼男）巨蟹女（处女男）狮子女（摩羯男）处女女（天蝎男）天秤女（白羊男）天蝎女（金牛男）射手女（水瓶男）摩羯女（双子男）水瓶女（射手男）双鱼女（狮子男）.

Gonna start class few more hours later.
Can't wait for it.
Peace out

1 more day

Just 1 more boring day and I will be back to college and rock the brand new 3rd semester.
But doing a little workout since holiday started.
Push up and sit up.
Seriously, I can't find myself motivation to go for jogging.
I only managed to jog for 4 days.
And my stamina is low.
The last time I jogged is during National Service.
Jogged for 60++ days every morning.
This new semester,
I'm gonna do some workout.
go healthy!

Do You Know?

"It’s not easy to change friendship into love. But it's even harder to turn love into friendship"


If there is a chance,
I rather restart everything from the scratch.
Just friend.
"Hi I'm Vincent, from DIT. Nice to know you."

Watched Viral Factor today.
Almost make me drop tears.
A-must watch movie.
Kbai.

jog

So, I went to jog with my buddy.
Reminder to myself,
Warm up before jog.
Fcuk the internet tips.
I read it somewhere and it said warm up doesn't shows much effectiveness during jogging.

Met few important people today.
1st was Pn Ng, who was a teacher from my secondary school.
Mr Tham, my Form 4 Additional Maths tutor,
And Mrs Siow, a Mandarin teacher who taught me Mandarin.

I was a SK/SMK student.
My parents decided to let me learn Mandarin during free times.

Without her, I guess I don't even know 怎样写华语字。
Kinda sad eh when she cant recognize me at 1st.
But she and her husband said I changed a lot and have a businessman look :P
Well, I agree with the "changed a lot" since I do grow up,
Although I'm not sure with the businessman look :P

The Lake!

K I know is random and boring post.
So, that's all for today. Kbai.

decision, heartbroken

I made a decision to follow my family visiting a person.
She is my mom's friend.
Is been like 5 years the last time I met her.
When I saw her today, my heart totally broken and speechless.
She was lying on her bed, with the malfunctioned legs, and speech disorder.
After so many years, when she saw me, I can feel that she is happy.
She tried to call me,
"Fu Fu.. argh.. arghh.. arghh"
That's what I hear.
She used to call me "Ah Fu" and my sis, "Ah Kwai".
It was my childhood nickname for my mom's friends.
I looked at her because I know she is calling me.
But I feel so sorry because I'm unable to understand what she is trying to tell me.
All I can do is just looking at her eyes and smiled.

I try to recall back more memories about her.
I remembered when I was Standard 4,
I always accompanied her in her car, waiting for her sons and daughter to come out from school around 1pm.
Sometimes, she treated me with those 20 cents ice sticks with flavors.
I will walk out from the car and buy 2 ice sticks, walk back to the car and pass 1 to her.
She used to scold me when I did some mistakes.
She do laughs when I say something silly.
She been fighting all the years with an unknown disease which caused her having difficulty with walking.
But I never know that the disease will causes her having speech disorder.
Before we reached her house,
I even imagined her, sitting there, ask me stuff while walking around.
But right after I looked at her, my heart totally feeling sad and sorrow.
She become a person who can't walk, talk, and eat well.
She had been through days crying because of her situations.
Ahhh. I don't know what else I can say to describe her pain.

Aunty Christine,
You are 1 of the people who watched me grow up.
There was time when you treated me like your own son.
It's heartbroken to see you in this condition.
It's sad to think that I can't really do much things for you.

You Da One

Hmm this song is kinda awesome.
I'm here just to share this song.
So, byebye ^^

it's kinda

sad looking at those CNY photos of friends on Facebook.
photos of reunion dinner, angpow, relatives, families.

CNY eh?

Can't believe time past that fast.
I tried to be good for once during last year CNY,
But all I get is a bunch of crap family dramas
I guess from that moment, I will not able to have a wonderful CNY just like other families.
To be honest, I doesn't feel like being in a family since 6 years ago.
I tried to be part of the family few times,
But it never feel the same anymore.
People can call me cruel, or a disobedient son.
The truth is, I can't feel the love anymore.
Happy Chinese New Year to you all.
Have a nice day.

Journey To The North

Hi what's up?
I reached KL at Tuesday evening, but been lazy to blog about the trip.
Well, let me name the trip as The Journey To The North.

So, we reached Alor Setar after 7 hours of travelling from KL.

   

Had our dinner with Yen Ling's family

On the next day,

We went to pasar where her family work as hawker who sells food.

Her dad cooking skills are delicious though.

We walked around the market, and realized that all the prices are cheaper compare to KL.

 

 

We went back to home to rest and help the family clean their house.

Went to night market after dinner.

Foods are all cheap and we had stuff like laksa, fried ice cream and some cookies.

 

On the next day,

We went to another friend's house for BBQ at night.

Oh and that night was the 1st time in my life to drink alcohol :P

 

 

 

Okay, on the next day again,

We drove to Penang for our 1 day trip.

We took our car to the ferry port :P

 

We went to temples.

This temple is mostly about Buddhism.

 

 

Ever heard of Kek Lok Si Temple?

If no, you should go there seriously.

We been sweating just to climb to the temple.

Yeah, we climbed a lot of stairs just to see the entrance of the temple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We head back to Alor Setar using the famous Penang bridge.

 

The next day is the day we head back to KL.

Such an awesome vacation.

Now, I feel so bored staying at home.

I decided to do some exercises / keep fit

Been doing 50 sits up per day.

Muscle are kinda pain now.

3 more weeks to go!

vacation time!

So, I'm finally done with all the paper
Managing Information System (MIS) : Kinda okay.
Behavioral Science (BS) : Kinda okay too.
Discrete Maths Structures : Kinda okay as well.
Web Based Programming : Kinda worried although I done all the question. Just worried.
Database Development : Extremely worried although I done all the question. Seriously worried.

But overall, I guess this semester's result might be better than before because of the study group.
Studying alone is a very risky chance to score well.
But if you are studying with friends, everyone will shared their knowledge, ideas, and opinions during discussions.
When there is tension, friends will always be there to jokes and fools around like there's no exam on the next day.
It's a very effective way to study to be honest.
I realize I'm getting closer with everyone except those introverts classmates, and also a dumbass guy who decided to "think" we boycotted him, but in reality, he is the one who decided to give up everything and continue being a dumbass.
During this study weeks, we declared ourselves as "family".
We study together, eat together, sleep together, and fool around with each other.
Kinda glad to feel the awesomeness of college life.
Anyway, I will be away for a week right after you are done reading this post.
I will be going to Alor Setar and Penang with friends. Decided to leave laptop at home, doesn't wish to be social network freaks.

So, this year college SBS school will be in-charge of OO Night.
It might be hard for me to get in the committee board.
I wonder if this new board will ever acknowledge my existence.
Well, let's just see how things will work out.

I never know that I can bring impacts on people's life.
Most of it are pain, burden, or sadness.
There was also friends who told me they feel glad for having me in their life.
But now, everything becomes "hi and bye".
Well, sorry if I bring negative impacts to your life.
Thanks to those who still appreciate me in their life.
Ah, I can't sleep now, damn insomnia, and I wanna pee right now
K Peace out, happy holiday :P ^^

Lazy day

I guess it is normal if you feel lazy after studying smart and hard for 1 whole week. Been sleeping whole day like a pig. Have a little mood to study for last paper. The progress are kinda sucks. Watched a movie just now. What Happen In Vegas. Nice and touching movie :)

Yo I'm Back

After spending days and night with the crazy gang for revision, I'm finally back to home. 1 more paper left now. Never thought that you and I will be in the same exam hall today. I saw you, but I guess you *didnt notice me.

Happy New Year

There are so many stuff in my minds.
And I don't know how to express it.
Anyway,
Happy New Year.