I'll be your Paparazzi

Friday, May 29, 2009

Remorseful repents.
Lately I've been thinking about what I can do, I've been stressing to fall back in love with you.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through but I can't go on this way, I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be but it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry.

I wanted you to be there when I fall, I wanted you to see me through it all.
I wanted you to be the one I loved, I wanted you, I wanted you..
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep, I wanted you to show me what I need, I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you..

I've been pushing hard to open up the door, trying to take us back to where we were before but I'm done, I just can't do this anymore. Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now.
We've been walking around in circles for some time and I think we should head for the finish line.
So believe me. I, I am sorry, I, I am sorry, I, I

I, I.. I'm so sorry baby but I, I.. I gotta pack up and leave.
But I, I'll always remember how we came close to being how I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
I wanted you...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Right to the core.

Thursday,

X-Men Origins: Wolverine, give it 3 outta 5 popcorns for that claw. Xin Wang-ed for lunch and some ol' school arcade moments with street fighter and puzzle bobble.

Work and gym-ed.

Friday,

I arrived late at work, issues came up at the very last minute, leaving me in a tiny bit of distraught moment. It wasn't a motivated reason to go to work either, and because of that i couldn't get a cab in time, which i also think resulted in my boss being pissed off with me. I'm working on my punctuality nonetheless. Sometimes, i'm really baffled by what i'm supposed to do and what not to. I'll just leave it for time, to heal, to flow, to see where it goes.

Just when i got back home, with my partial eye makeup still on, sister and I went on a passport photo shoot frenzy mode. Finally settled with a decent looking picture of us each to send for submission the next day. And gosh, i have to admit, the maturity and ages are showing on my face, on the whole, i don't have wrinkles yet. Without a doubt, i still certainly do not look Chinese at all.

Saturday,

Work.

Monitor down at work, so i had to resort to this old but serves its purpose laptop i borrowed. It's not so bad because i have songs jamming from Limp Bizkit to Bananarama.

Back home to pick up the remaining bags of fleas to put in the boot. Turned in early for the night, for the next day is gonna be a long day.

Sunday,

Anticipated Sunday finally arrived, where we drag big and small bags along the pavement to Sculpture Sqaure in the early morning. I only brought in the first bag, whereas my other half will come in later in the afternoon. It was a major turnoff to see that the area behind our table was infested with a line of crawling ants, sending us the scratching and itching sensation.

Before we even had any sales, Rina and I made our way around the grounds, looking for bargains, of course we got ourselves some stuffs at the end of it. It started out with swatting flies, then as the crowd slowly inch in, we got hyped from the initial sales and that's how motivation came along too. Parents came in the later afternoon with more bags, can you just imagine that? But of course, i don't think i sold any of their stuffs. My new dresses went at really low cost price, but well, if i don't let them go, it's just gonna stay in the closet and just that.

Overall, all the sweat and hardwork in promoting were paid off, at least covering the rental amount. Kudos to Rina, Chris, Arik and me, with backstage workers like our parents for providing some props, goods and moral support. Not forgetting we have 2 hard working brothers of ours, Clyde and Keith for the "air conditioning" provided.

Drained out at the end of the day, with all the haggling and negotiation.

Monday,

I had Redoxen and hot chocolate served to kick start my Monday.

Work.

I forgotten to bring along my favourite pair of shorts for workout, so gave gym a miss.

Tuesday,

I cooked rice and left it overnight for better taste for the fried rice i'm cooking in the morning. Just to flavour it, i think i added almost all the seasonings and sauces i have at home, but the end product is tasty. Packed it in the container and there it goes with me.

Work.

Work affairs going on, how interesting can it go? I pretty much got myself involved because i was the only contactable one at that time. And fancy them jeopardizing the opening hours for that getaway that got into hot boiling cauldron.

Gym-ed and turned in after 5 rounds of mini Mahjong.

Wednesday,

Work.

Things are taking for a turn, be it good or bad, but it certainly affected my day. Its not the mixed signals, but i think it's just the side effects of the prolong situation i've faced ever since i don't know when. Patience, i was told that and thus, achieved. I've pretty much gotten back on the independent track, til i know i can fall on it, i will let myself fall knowing that i would be caught. But i definitely won't deny the intimacy and closeness i longed, so much that i've forgotten how it feels like, i'm starting to get accustom to it.

How long can i savour good moments? As long as i know i've gave my best, that's all it takes. Nuff said, i'm just gonna take things with stride, like i always do. Picking up the pieces of where my stress level has taken me to, the amount of long hours i spent doing nothing much productive.

On a side note, i smell nice today, not the Sakura smell, but CK in2u. I also had a deliciously home cooked omelette with cheese and sausage this morning, the taste still lingers in my taste buds.

Gym-ed.

Things ain't fair in love in war, never been the kind to be ignored, tried to push me to the edge.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

You're tripping if you're thinking.

Saturday,
I took out my purple strand, been tolerating the not so properly binded strand, always sticking out of the thick crown. I'm left naked with that blue, standing out in the sea of multicolours.
Work.

Sunday,
Woke up to an early but lazy Sunday, put on that tee shirt and shorts, brunch-ed and afternoon walk outside, basking in the sun. And also did a lil tiny packing up of that pile of clothes on the couch.
Dinner-ed with Rina, Chris and CB, second visit to Bab Noodle. I realized, i'm the last person to know Russel Peter. Anyhow, he sent me on a laughing crack.

Monday,
Work and gym-ed.

Tuesday,
Work.
I had flowers dotted on my nails to kill time. But again, a slight bang broke my thumbnail.
My mood for heading to gym was dampened by that bloody affair. Imagine, you're out thinking that no, it will not come that early, but you came prepared. However, you put on a less than usual amount of surface area underwear. Then, there's no choice but to let it sit right in the middle trying to balance itself while the ass cheeks move from left to right. At least, it absorbs it all, serving the main purpose of it. And so, i gave gym a miss.
Day number one, my mood starts swinging after so long, and i have this heavy heart feeling as i lay on bed to fall asleep.

Wednesday,
Woke up a lil earlier to make a headstart to pack my stuffs for Sunday's flea market. Speaking of which, to the minority miserable number of people who reads my blog, Rina and I will be hosting a stall at Sunday's flea market.

Time: 10am - 7pm
Venue: Sculpture Square
Address: 155 Middle Road (Opposite Fortune Centre, next to NAFA Campus 1)

What to expect? Of course, from top to toe, from brand new to worn before, nothing less than $1, nothing more than $20. I'm also doing manicure for you girls, for just $5. Just get your wallets down and support us.
I'm having after meal syndrome without fail, but i just ran down to 7-11, bought some bread and post-it noted it, sent. Been tied up with upcoming events, flea market, holidays booking, passport renewal and upcoming change in work schedule. I'm hard to satisfy with that numerous shots of passport photo, which i need to seriously get it done soon before i fly. I'm also starting to watch the fluctuating prices of air tickets, dates confirmed, just tickets and passport.
One more thing adding to the busy agenda, am preparing to start cooking from next week onwards.

You can say that you won but i'll never believe it, cause i can't be defeated.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Out of this tail spin.
Tuesday,
Work and gym-ed.
Took my monthly check of fats and muscles, signs showing improvement. Weight down (maybe i just happen to not eat so much that day), BMI down, BMR down, fat mass down, alright, to cut it short, it's a slight improvement in all. Boy was i glad and satisfied with the results, so i might deserve some treats or rewards?

Wednesday,
Work.
The calories counting is back in trend, Rina's instilling some of those ideas in me. I would just prefer to watch what i eat and give the weekends a break. It was so extreme, the number of calories we're restricting ourselves to reach the ideal. No dinner last night, and it got me craving for Indian food in the afternoon, point satisfied!
I'm coating my nails like finally, whilst at work, giving it cobalt blue base first.
Gym-ed.

Thursday,
Interview for the second job went well, think i've got it. However, odd hours might leave me with lesser social time alone.
Work and gym-ed.

Friday,
Man, it's Labour Day, public holiday. But, i'm not spared as usual, working non stop. Today marks the start of a new month, May. And i'm very much hopeful for someone to take my weekends shift so i'll be able to pick another dance, sport or hobby. Thankfully, i'm having some unleashing in that busy schedule as per tentatively.
My Astons lunch was filling, should consist of at least 800 calories. I'm getting back into the 90's era, Vengaboys' Boom Boom Boom Boom, i want you in my room, i would never forget dancing to this song.

I keep on telling myself i'm gonna find a way, i won't be afraid just like yesterday.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Getting past the dialtone.
Tuesday,
Work and gym-ed.

Wednesday,
Work and gym-ed.

Thursday,
Work and gym-ed.

Friday,
I was anticipating for this TGIF because according to the schedule, it was my supposedly off day. Communication not updated, i have to cover for my boss and so, burnt the day off.
Work and gym-ed.
After numerous days of working out, i'm just practically working out in my own comfort zone, i need a push.

Saturday,
Work.
I don't know why but again it's a crappy mood at work, even brewed coffee can't perk me up at all! And my Contra had to shut off whilst i'm at the most exciting part of the game.
And as you can really see the obvious, my life is revolved around gym and work, i know i'm whining but bear with me. I'm taking a break soon, to Thailand.

Sunday,
Sunny Sunday shopping on the streets alone and outburst of rashes. But i had bags of shoppings, mostly my daily necessities in travel sizes and pink bedroom slippers. My current one has yet to give way but it might come to good use anytime. Dragged my ass to gym because dinner with Rina was postponed. Since the day before, i only one one decent MacDonald's meal and i was not even starving, not a single bit. I reckon that it might be the mood playing tricks or maybe its just those days where you have no appetite at all. Late night century egg porridge was only finished by half. I survived the whole day with Calamine Lotion, my new found best friend.

Monday,
Can i say that my normal sleeping routine is getting back in tune? But this might not be exact good news. I just can't bring myself to stay up that late, my work and polka dots is adding stress to me, i just wished i wouldn't wake up and spend my day on the bed, TV and food. Just like today, i dread coming to work. Everyday is pretty much the same routine. Moreover, the plan of getting another source of income is working its way, which means, i'm gonna have lesser time for myself. On the bright side, increase in the income and thus balancing out the expenditures, or maybe an increase in that too due to temptation? Whatever it is, taking the days one at a time, come what may, it's just me, myself and i.
After 2 days of more than a half empty stomach, i have the urge to start binging. Oh god, here goes the cycle. My head bobbing syndrome is also here, right after my filling korean lunch.
Something off topic, i've broken my own record of leaving my nails free of enamel for like a week? I have no inspiration and moreover, by the time i hit home, i'm hiding under covers and putting myself to sleep.

Cause i gotta know, whatever way it's gonna go, rest my heart and soul cause i can never be no more.

Monday, April 20, 2009

There's no middle ground.
Tuesday,
Work and gym-ed.

Wednesday,
Work and gym-ed.

Thursday,
Work and gym-ed.

Friday,
Work.
Near the closing hours, was rushing to complete the manicure for Kalai. I literally brought my whole pink box and utensils of nail works to work. Astons for dinner.

Saturday,
As usual, it was to start at 11am, but instead i got shaken up by sister at 11.10am. Jumped outta bed and head to work, sister tagged along for the free ride. She was busy running in town getting the surprise presents for brother. Meanwhile after that, had packed lunch together.
Fast and Furious 4, i would only say it's not as good as the previous 3 but still, it deserves 3 outta 5 popcorns. Nonetheless, i can't help bobbing with the beats and watching tight asses, vroom vroom!
Before i turned in at about 6am, i got all 3 presents wrapped up and left the first and most disappointing one next to brother whilst he was asleep, so he'll notice it in the morning. In the midst of my sleep, i felt my calf tighten up without warning. It's been long since i've had this kinda pain. The muscle pull was so strong that i couldn't move an inch.

Sunday,
I got woken up by my brother, normally he would do it rudely but because he figured that i left that present for him, he was nice to me in the late morning. Of course, i would expect him to be a lil disappointed to just get a piggy bank from his sisters. Oh well, i'm just good with surprises, so i just gotta hold the suspense for a lil bit longer.
Lunch at Dempsey Road with family and dad's brother's. Before the meal was served, we made him tell how he found the present. I was pretty sure i tore off the price tag on the box, but somehow, there was another one right under the feet of that present and so he knew how much we spent on him. He was going on about his wishlist and we brought out the second present, a science experiment kit on how to make crystals. And yet again, he found a receipt we left in that bag unintentionally, what a bummer! Or maybe it was our carelessness.

Next trip, parents brought him to Build A Bear Workshop, was another surprise though. He named his new dog, Woofy.

Back home from a tired day, blew the candles and we actually wanted to place the third present under his bed so he could open it on his actual birthday the next morning.

But we figured that by the time he got up at 6.30am, the mood wouldn't much be there when he's preparing for school. Whipped out an authentic rubiks cube, something he always wanted. From the surprised look, we knew he didn't expect it at all. I fell asleep right after, all the way into the night without my dinner.

Monday,
Happy 10th birthday lil impish brother!
Work and gym-ed. It was the most tiring gym session ever because the PT had to tamper with my speed and elevation and i pant like i never did for a long long time. I always get groggy right after lunch, even though today's one was bland and tasteless. And then i start getting my motivation from the women with hot bods walking out of the gym because once the day is ending, you tend to lack the motivation to step in but instead go back home to hit the sack.

Was gonna make my play but just like yesterday, my mind raced and let the moment slip away.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Running out of fingers.
Tuesday,
Work.
Remember my last post? I had to rack my brains to configure that code of drawings on the wall to get myself out of Hotel 626. Just after writing that post, i gave it another try and at last, i figured the passcode and dashed out of the door. Right after following instructions from the man on the phone, i managed to check out of the hotel, in one piece. However, just when i got into the car and adjusted my rear view mirror, i have a new passenger at the back seat. The thrill is over, what's next?
Gym-ed.

Wednesday,
Work and gym-ed.

Thursday,
Work.
I saw an adult monkey on the railing of the bridge, i had to take a video of it for James. He told me he sent them there to watch me, his furry jungle friends are freaking me out instead. I'm looking for someone to protect me from monkeys, kindly send in your applications.
Gym-ed.

Friday,
Thank God its Good Friday! However, being buried in the midst of work, public holiday doesn't seem much of a different from the normal days. I'm not spared from work too, and if it wasn't for Rina's exclamation being in the pre public holiday mood, i wouldn't have even noticed it.
Work.

Saturday,
Work.
While walking up the slope back home, i had my headset on as usual, bobbing to the beats. I heard a crack under my left foot, i thought it was just some nut or whatsoever i've stepped on. To my disgust, just as i turned back to give a brief look, i can't help but notice this cracked shell with slime underneath it, it was a freaking snail!
Anyways, i'm sure you guys know about Wii, now they have the female version of it called Shii, it's a must get! The games available are so enticing, ironing, gossiping, knitting and there's one more, whoever blows the best wins! Isn't that awesome? When it's really finally out, hell yeah i'm gonna get them.

Sunday,
Work.
Enduring 7th day of non stop work, i have already finished the book, Grotesque. Ultimately, she turned to prostitution just like Yuriko and Kazue. Next up, The Naked Heart, i love erotic stories that gives me those kinda goosebumps.
I remember having bad experience in the past with Subway and Darren, just because i do not like olive in my sandwich, i got an attitude from that. So i swore to never go back to Subway again, but that Tuna classic and Cold Cut Trio is tempting me. After years, i finally had my second Subway sandwich, awesome. And also, i have been abstaining from sweet drinks for the whole week, Sunday shall be my indulging day, drinking sweet drinks to my hearts content. Apart from my usual caffeine intake to perk up my day, i had my first coke after so long. I even bought myself Blackcurrant and Aloe Vera bits back home.
Its a whole different feeling seeing you talk and knowing you're really talking instead of using my imagination to imagine how your lips would move. Knowing that the smile comes along right after i did something silly or stupid, i can't help being a giggling machine. I just need you to notice that i'm already there, not making a sound, and maybe just receive me a lil bit more?
P.S. I love my new nail design, red, white and black flowers. Apparently, the white turned pink.

Monday,
I survived 7 days of work without a break, and ongoing, today marks the 8th. You gotta applaud me for my perseverence and hardworking capabilities, i think i deserve it?
I think it's starting again, this morning, i heard no alarms and i just jolted out of sleep at 11.34am. Need not say, i was late.
Work and gym later tonight. I'm getting groggy now after lunch, i should need a cuppa coffee in a few moments because my eyelids are drooping.

More than a minimum, i'm talking everything. More than a single wish, i'm talking every dream.