Competitive Excel

The competitors take the stage in Las Vegas (WSJ)

Back in my day I was pretty good at building Excel spreadsheets. But I would never have come close to qualifying for the World Excel Championships, held December 7-9 in Las Vegas:

the omnipresent office spreadsheet software has spawned ranks of data geeks who see Excel as a sport. And here they were at the biggest table of them all: the Microsoft Excel World Championship, held at the HyperX Arena Las Vegas in the Luxor Hotel & Casino. (One floor down from a show by the comedian Carrot Top.)

...the thrills were off the charts at the main tournament, where rivals battled for the Excel championship over three 30-minute sessions that included both high drama and hexadecimals. Watching the action unfold on a giant screen, the live audience screamed cheers of encouragement and surprise and marveled at the rich data types, tables, monster functions, and the dreaded #ref error flashing before them.

Those who, er, excel at competitive Excel are able to identify classes of problems quickly (financial, statistical, dataset searching, etc.), select the functions (built-in algorithms like IRR and COVAR) that might be useful, and put together lines of calculation that produce the answers.

The above approach to spreadsheet building is frankly, anathema to accountants and many financial analysts. In real-world finance we have to build auditable spreadsheets that are reviewable by others. This means organizing linked spreadsheets so that one has the data inputs, others the calculations, and still others the reports. It also helps to write "notes" about what is going on in particular cells.

In Excel tournaments, where the object is to solve the problem in 30 minutes and there is no need, say, to have a work colleague run the calculations in the modeler's absence, many of these design techniques can be ignored.

That said, there is always a need for genius programmers that can get Excel to solve problems that seemed beyond the software's capabiities. At these tournaments it's nice they're finally getting some recognition.

Just Because You Can Do It Doesn't Mean You Have To

The WSJ takes a look at future tech on display at the Consumer Electronics Show.

Some I could see myself using, others appear derivative, and a few are cringe-inducing, a subjective feeling to be sure.

Case in point: the Amagami Ham Ham Finger-Nibbling Robot Toy:

“Most people like the nibbling sensation but know they need to teach their children or pets to stop it,” reads the press release. This robot “frees humankind from the conundrum of whether ‘to pursue or not to pursue’ the forbidden pleasure.” The robot uses an algorithm—a “HAMgorithm”—to cycle through two dozen “nibbling patterns” so you won’t get bored using it.

As a toddler I learned not to stick my finger in strange places, and I'm not about to start now.

Chilly Reception

Refrigerators and air-conditioners are targets of climate-change activists:

Window air conditioners in Brooklyn (CNBC)

CFCs were replaced by hydrofluorocarbons (HFCs), compounds that may not harm the ozone layer, but have proven to be powerful greenhouse gases with remarkable heat-trapping capability. Since 1990, according to the EPA, there has a 258 percent increase in HFC emissions.

"For perspective, 16 ounces of HFC 404a [a type of HFC that doesn’t deplete the ozone] equates to burning approximately 4.5 barrels of oil from a climate perspective.”

On the surface, sweating a little more during the summer or using the refrigerator less seems like a small price to pay to save coastal denizens from rising seas.

Before we start junking our Frigidaires, however, we should understand that refrigeration is an under-appreciated aspect of the Industrial Revolution. It is not an exaggeration to say that refrigeration changed the landscape of America. Wikipedia: [bold added]

BNSF refrigerated boxcar

The introduction of refrigerated rail cars contributed to the westward expansion of the United States, allowing settlement in areas that were not on main transport channels such as rivers, harbors, or valley trails. Settlements were also developing in infertile parts of the country, filled with newly discovered natural resources.

These new settlement patterns sparked the building of large cities which are able to thrive in areas that were otherwise thought to be inhospitable, such as Houston, Texas, and Las Vegas, Nevada. In most developed countries, cities are heavily dependent upon refrigeration in supermarkets, in order to obtain their food for daily consumption.

Refrigerated transportation is not only essential to the survival of large inland cities like Houston, Las Vegas, or Phoenix but also to the deliveries of sushi and fresh organic produce to the coasts.

When New Yorkers and Californians quit shopping at Whole Foods and start eating out of cans--all to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, of course--then we'll know they're serious.

And the Company's Name is Great, Too

Naomi Granger, founder of Dope CFO, on how she found her niche:

Naomi Granger (WSJ photo)

I picked professional athletes at first, and would go on LinkedIn trying to connect with players. The ones who were actively playing seemed to be bombarded by different financial advisers.

Then I decided to try real estate because I already knew a few agents, but realized most didn’t make enough money to hire an accountant.

That’s when I stumbled upon cannabis. It’s such an underserved industry, facing these huge problems because of the changing laws and massive growth. Most banks won’t serve cannabis companies, and large accounting firms and accounting software providers don’t want to serve the industry either because it’s still an illegal business, federally speaking.

The debits and credits of cannabis accounting don't cover new ground. However, the ethics issues are difficult to navigate, since CPA's are not supposed to be associated with businesses that knowingly break the law (marijuana is still illegal under Federal statutes).

Good luck to Ms. Granger, an entrepreneurial millennial accountant to keep your eye on.

Monday Musing

Two truths hotly denied: no guns means there would be no crimes with guns; no illegal aliens means no crimes committed by illegal aliens.

— Stephen Yuen (@stephenyuen) October 3, 2017

Pachyderm Plate

Helping my mother clear her overflowing bookshelf, I came across this out-of-print gem, 1993's Creative Culinary Concoctions, Cooking with the Cal Employees. (The California Hotel & Casino is a favorite destination of Hawaii travelers in Las Vegas.)

The dishes are laden with calories, but none more than this recipe.

Elephant Stew

1 elephant (medium size)
2 rabbits (optional)
Salt and pepper

Cut the elephant into bite-size pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough gravy to cover. Cook over kerosene fire for about four weeks at 465 degrees. This will serve 3,800 people. If more people are expected, two rabbits may be added, but this should be done only if necessary, as most people do not like to find hare in their stew. (Jim Martin)

There is clearly some information missing:
1) How many hacksaw blades do I need?
2) "Add enough gravy to cover" --- how long do I need to run the hose, and what about the California water shortage (which existed even back in 1993)?
3) Kerosene fires emit pollution, especially indoors, where I plan to cook the stew. Is natural gas ok?
4) What are the per-serving sodium, fat, calories, and calories from fat? My diet app requires this information.

Uninformed readers may be skeptical, but research on the eating habits of our ancestors suggests that we should seriously consider adding pachyderm to our plates.

Imelda Was Ahead of Her Time

In my 20's and 30's I had four pairs of shoes: two black, one brown, and sneakers. Now the count is up to seven, and I'm only working part-time. Eric Jennings, Saks Fifth men's director:

"There is an explosion of men's shoes right now. The business is on fire...It runs the gamut from classic dress shoes to designer sneakers that are extremely fashion forward."

In addition to bowing to the needs of fashion, one requires more shoes in the rotation because modern footwear is less durable. A pair of 4-year-old $200 loafers that were used about twice a month developed holes in their synthetic bottoms on a recent trip to Las Vegas.

They weren't salvageable: too bad, because the shoes were comfortable, looked decent, and were easy to slip on and off when going through airport security.

I went to the mall in Las Vegas and replaced them immediately with two pairs. Wouldn't want to get caught short again.

We'll Be Back

Our table for two hours.

In Las Vegas it's easy for non-members to sport the appearance of being part of the one-percent club. (For example, as of this writing a Maserati may be rented for $675 per day.)

We were invited by friends to lunch at the Mansion, the MGM Grand Hotel's oasis for whales. We were the only patrons in the garden while we enjoyed a quiet leisurely lunch. There was no hint that the bustling Strip was only a block away. After lunch we strolled around the trees and admired the statuary.

Whales don't care that the duck breast entree
weighs less than a hamburger and costs $35.

On this trip we didn't set a foot in old Las Vegas. I missed having gaming palaces a short walk from each other, but I didn't miss the cigarette smoke or the grime. A vacation on the Strip is more expensive than downtown but costs less than Honolulu, New York, or LA....that is, if one is disciplined at the tables. This time I kept my head, or maybe just was lucky. We won't wait five years to return.

How the Young'Uns Do

Grilled scallops at the Sage

The Sage served the best meal we had during our long weekend in Las Vegas. We ordered small plates, a forced choice after three days of ceaseless consumption. Every dish was made of fresh ingredients and offered flavors and textures in interesting combinations. The only drawback was the noise. The Aria Hotel is oriented toward the younger crowd, which seems to gravitate toward venues that play high-energy music. We had to shout to make ourselves heard and decided to communicate how the young'uns do by texting each other. When in Rome....

A Bargain Indeed

Travelers from Hawaii have been known to head straight from McCarran Airport to the craps and blackjack tables for an all-night session, but those days are long since past for your humble observer. First, the desire has diminished; second, I just can't do it any more (oh, were we talking about gambling?)

On this week's trip to Las Vegas, our first in five years, we passed up the excesses of the all-you-can eat buffets and opted for less stomach-stretching fare. Each of the Strip hotels has at least one celebrity chef. On Thursday night we dined at Julian Serrano's at the Aria, and Friday at 9:30 we got in to Shawn McClain's Sage, also at the Aria. The ticket for two (without wine) ranged from $100 to $150, not unreasonable when compared with prices at top restaurants in San Francisco.

When one takes into account the money saved by not spending time in the casino, fine dining in Las Vegas is a bargain indeed.

Julian Serrano's mixed paella

"The Greatest LIve Show They Have Ever Seen"

After yesterday's rain, "water" has become the theme for the week.

Tonight I saw my first Cirque du Soleil show, "O", at the Bellagio. Yes, the tickets were pricey at $181 apiece including the Ticketmaster surcharge, but there's nothing like it in the world. The mix of acrobatics, dancing, synchronized swimming, heart-stopping dives, live original music, and costumes all choreographed for a non-stop two hours, is, to use an over-used adjective, unique. Many people are willing to pay the price to see it: "As of early 2011, O has grossed over a billion dollars since the show opening in 1998."

Equally amazing was the wizardry behind the set, a vast pool that transforms into a wooden stage and back again (performers high-dive into the pool, so the machinery better be working). Physical and technical legerdemain aside, the two-hour production is beautiful. Chicago Tribune: "Many people consider it the greatest live show they have ever seen."

The set's elaborate machinery means that this show won't be going on the road. One must come to Las Vegas to see it. "O", the sacrifices we have to make....

Posing for this set piece is one of the few occasions the performers aren't whirling like dervishes.

Warnings Confirmed

No, the slowdown that I saw in my recent trip to Las Vegas (see post below) wasn't the product of imagination. According to the WSJ:

The industry is facing what insiders and analysts call its biggest challenge in years. Rising gasoline prices, the housing crisis and other economic troubles are prompting consumers not just to gamble less, but to spend less at the luxury boutiques and restaurants where casinos draw most of their profits. Struggling airlines are cutting service to Las Vegas. And pressures are building on casinos that cater to local residents, who have been hard hit by economic troubles.

"This is the toughest environment we've faced," says Gary Loveman, chief executive of global gambling giant Harrah's Entertainment Inc., referring to the economic challenges roiling the entire industry.

And Main Street Station, the casino where we stayed, is owned by one of the companies that undertook an ambitious spending plan just as the market turned south:

Among those hard hit by the local decline is Boyd Gaming, started in 1975 by Sam Boyd and his son, Bill. The publicly traded company is bidding to become a big player on the Strip, via a $5 billion casino development on 87 acres. The project, called Echelon, is slated to include five luxury hotels, a retail promenade and an exposition center.

Boyd is committed to funding $3.3 billion of the project, through a $4 billion credit line and its own cash. Despite the economic pressures and project costs, company officials say, Boyd has solid cash flow and a strong balance sheet. But Boyd has had to rely more on its credit facility as profits wane. Boyd reported a $32 million loss in its latest quarter.

I'm glad I grabbed all the freebie meals that I did. They may not be there the next time.

Gamboling Interlude

Main Street Station beer vats are behind the sushi bar.

I needed to take a break from my job, volunteer do-goodism, and a newfound urge to exercise and eat healthy. Too abrupt a conversion to clean living had caused a chemical imbalance in my body: my ichors felt icky.

Fortunately, Mom and Dad gave me a reason to abandon the virtuous life. They were in Las Vegas, and, mindful of their last trip when Dad took sick, I joined them to keep on eye on their wellbeing. Any fun I had would be purely incidental.

We stayed at Main Street Station, which had designated Dad as an elite guest. Attaining that exalted status meant that he had earned hundreds of dollars of meal and room credits by losing thousands of dollars on the casino floor.

My parents like staying in the older section of Las Vegas because the main attractions are easily within walking distance. Sizable by most standards, the Downtown casinos are puny compared to the gaudy Strip palaces and have a friendlier, more informal feel. Crowds are thinner this year, likely the consequence of high fuel costs and the collapse of real estate prices in Nevada and Southern California. Over the weekend I could easily find $5-minimum blackjack and craps games; when I last visited in 2006 it was difficult to find a $10 table.

When I went for a morning walk the streets were still. Buildings were under construction wherever one turned, but the backhoes and cranes weren’t moving. The city’s manic energy of a few years ago was gone.

The desert now looms large. With Lake Mead threatening to go completely dry in about a decade the desert, suppressed for years, may yet be the victor. The Strip and Hoover Dam---the markings of our civilization---perhaps they are just Ozymandias writ large.

I brushed aside these unpleasant thoughts and entered the air-conditioned embrace of the casino. Time for sushi and beer. Time to eat, drink and be merry, for who knows when I’ll pass this way again? © 2008 Stephen Yuen

His Father's Hopes

My dad goes to Las Vegas regularly. On his latest trip he felt faint and checked himself into the hospital. The usual suspects---gambling around the clock, no food and its opposite, too much food and drink—weren’t the cause. After running a battery of tests, the doctors couldn’t pinpoint the reason. He went home yesterday and will be evaluated by his own physician.

Although there’s uncertainty about the diagnosis, now that he’s home the tension is greatly lessened. There’s a lot to be thankful for—from the doctors who ran enough tests to satisfy themselves that he was well enough to travel and to my younger brother, who drove from LA to tend to Mom and Dad and be our eyes and ears on the scene. Hard to believe it’s the same kid who was always cadging a few dollars or borrowing the car overnight. It appears that he’s surpassed his father’s hopes. © 2007 Stephen Yuen

Dad with his two college-bound grandsons.

Pacing Yourself

In Las Vegas you need to pace yourself. It’s easy to lose discipline and increase the stakes, either because you’re winning and “playing with the house’s money” or are losing and trying to get back to even. Tearing away from the tables and going for a walk is the best way I’ve found to let the fever pass, slow the rate of loss, and gain perspective.

Last weekend the Classic Car Show exhibit was downtown, away from the glitz and glamour of the Strip. Owners proudly posed by their immaculately maintained vehicles while they regaled onlookers with the history of their painstakingly restored beauties. Touching was allowed, though it meant that they would have to polish away the fingermarks on Monday.

I joined the boys for a round of blackjack. We hunted for a $2 or $3-minimum table, but the cheapest we could find on a weekend, even downtown, was $5. No matter---if one employs the basic strategy and, yes, is disciplined about it, one would have to be very unlucky to lose a $200 stake.

The dealer was friendly and didn’t mind frequent pauses to discuss strategy, since it was just me and three twenty-somethings at the table. My seatmates were all asked for their ID (in Nevada one has to be at least 21 to gamble), and the pit boss playfully asked for mine. Everyone laughed, and I feigned a hurt look that it was so obvious to everyone that she was joking.

The newbie, whose 21st birthday we were celebrating, didn’t know what to do when holding, say, a 15, and facing the dealer’s picture card. I advised him that the books said to hit another card but that the odds were against him whatever he decided to do. More often than not, he drew a good card (or the dealer busted when the novice stood on 12), and after an hour he was up $50. This looked too easy, not the lesson I was hoping he would draw from his first trip as an adult to Las Vegas. (Not to worry, though, later that evening he dropped $20 in five minutes and quit before the damage got worse.)

Before dinner we stopped by M & M World and the Coca Cola museum, across from the New York, New York Hotel and Casino. We picked up a dispenser for the office and sampled M&M’s and soft drinks. Thank goodness none of us is diabetic (yet).

We tried the Aqua Massage on the ground floor; at $15 for 15 minutes it was hard to resist. The rhythmic vibration and the New Age music piped in over the headphones put us to sleep. Meanwhile, an adventurous member of our party tried the Oxygen Bar next door; Vegas is a place to do things you wouldn’t do at home.

After dinner we called it a night. In my salad days I would have played till dawn and regretted it later. The beginning of wisdom or the enfeeblement of age? At least I still had money in my pocket. I really must come back more often… © 2006 Stephen Yuen

Protein Wisdom

[not to be confused with the website of the same name] One doesn’t escape Las Vegas unscathed. Even if one has managed to minimize the damage to one’s wallet, the combination of all-night diversions and engorgifying buffets ensures that a price will continue to be paid long after one has laid down the cards, chips, and dice.

I ordered the bone-in prime rib at the Circus Circus Steakhouse and regretted it as soon as the platter was presented. One didn’t have to be a vegetarian to feel queasy at the sight of that impressive slab. I donated the rib-bone to one of my youthful dinner companions but still couldn’t finish the remainder. It was going to be a marathon calorie- and fat-filled weekend, so I pushed away from the table. Better late than….well, before it’s too late.

© 2006 Stephen Yuen

From the Sublime to the Lemon Lime

Coca Cola Museum

The warm afterglow of the pinots and chardonnays had faded. The desert sun dispelled the memories of last week's Sonoma wine tastings and created a fierce thirst. I gulped each cup of flavored beverage as if it were a divine nectar. The tasting tray from the Coca Cola Museum in Las Vegas---sometimes you just have to have it.

© 2006 Stephen Yuen