Air Asia Allahuakhbar: Made-Up Right Wing Nuttery

Today I was listening to Hannity's shenanigans and out of nowhere he says that they recovered and listened to the black box of the crashed AirAsia plane: the last words heard were a chilling "Allahuakhbar." When Jamie Dupree called him out and said that was probably made up, he shied away from the story, saying he's just reporting what he heard.

[I would generally use "Allahuakhbar" in two words, but am reiterating the nutter website usage on purpose.]

First problem: The whole story is completely made up. I ran into it again tonight after bumping against it on a site called Downtrend (link withheld for the sanity), a website rife with right wing conspiracy nuttery. Madness. Their link of the story goes back to Yahoo News, but the Yahoo News post has been scrubbed of the content. But it does cite a title and source of New Straits Times out of Malaysia. Only problem: there is no story about the black box contents there.

Second problem: "Allahuakhbar" is not a dedicated cry of war. It means "God is Great" and is used in many situations. If the pilots were Muslim and they were about to hit the water, "Allahuakhbar" would be something they might shout, as someone might shout "Jesus help me!" or "God be with me!"

I just wanted to get that out as it'll probably be circulating among the nuttery of the internets - and it's a big giant load of bullshit.

Conspiracy! Sandy Hook, Bullets, and Collapsing America

I'll weigh in on Sandy Hook and gun control in the coming weeks as I get my feet wet again, but I wanted to point out a couple insane conspiracy theories going around. And these aren't just "Holy hell check out this dark, scary corner of the internets," but things I have heard discussed by callers on mainstream, right-wing radio shows (as per usual, the hosts don't disavow the nuttery, they goad them on and ask why mainstream media isn't picking up on this) and people on my Facebook stream.

*shiver*

Sandy Hook

You know the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting never happened, right? It was just an exercise. No one is dead: no teachers, no children. No parents are truly grieving because it's all an act.

See, Obama had to push his radical gun-control agenda through as the first step to confiscating all guns and turning America into a police state. But he knew no one would have that, so he staged a school shooting targeting young children. The stories? The police? The deaths? The emotion? The sentiment? All fake. Because Obama is Hitler.

I am not linking anything here because no one involved deserves a link. But if you want to be terrified by humanity, a quick Google search will lead you to that place. And here's something that showed up on my FB feed today to rustle your jimmies:




Bullet Buyin'

The US Government is buying up all the bullets. Like all of them. Like billions of bullets so even if you hide your guns Obama wants to make sure you can't shoot 'em. Even the IRS is gettin' bullets. OMG!

Obviously, there are no real reports backing this but you can find it all over. Of course, the government buys a great deal of bullets; most of its offices have enforcement arms and then we have that whole military thing. The other side, of course, is that there are less bullets available currently because ...the nutters are drinking the NRA Kool-Aid and snatching up stockpiles because they think Obama wants your guns!

Conspiracy theorists are so meta.


Miscellaneous Nuts

Again, sorry for making you search (if you're that interested in the horror), but I refuse to give any of these goons links (which gives them search engine juice). Frighteningly, it's not hard to find.

• Not just Obama, but the UN is going to send troops into the US in order to confiscate all our guns.
• The Obama administration is currently, secretly building concentration camps in which to imprison Americans in the coming police state
• There is an actual group called Friends of Hamas and Chuck Hagel is in bed with them. (This one has been loudly and repeatedly debunked, but the right keeps on beating the drum of lies)
• Sekrit Moslom Kenyan Obama is going to change the constitution in order to begin his tyrannical reign with a third presidential term

Really, there is no end to the crazy. The Sandy Hook stuff creeps me the hell out, but conservatives are so whacked out about our black president, they just don't know how to attack any more. And for a lovely overview, Mother Jones put together this Obama Conspiracy Theory infographic. And that deserves some linking.

Any crazy crazy stuff you guys hear lately?

Day of Resistance is Tomorrow *facepalm*

So because Obama is singlehandedly dismantling the 2nd Amendment and looking forward to his time using his Kenya Powers to fly around America and take all the guns from all the people, tomorrow is the DAY OF RESISTANCE! From their website:

On January 16, 2013, President Barack Obama issued 23 executive actions against your 2nd amendment Constitutional right to bear arms. He did this without the consent of Congress which in itself, violates the foundation of the Constitution and the co-equal branches of government.

In response to these unconstitutional actions by the President, on .223, February 23, 2013 the American people will stand together in defiance to protect the right that protects ALL of our rights, the 2nd Amendment! They will organize locally so that they may band together neighbor to neighbor and reassert their community's right to determine their own destiny! Join today by selecting an option below.

I'm not going to address the stupid behind the fear behind the executive orders (none of which have been taken, just suggested) and their unconstitutionality (they're put forth in a way that the constitution does not forbid and every president uses them).

*sigh*

So take a look at the official rally list and see if you need to stay indoors tomorrow. The official Gun Appreciation Day ended in seven or so hospital visits from accidentally discharged firearms. I'm guessing this will be much, much worse.

Cincinnati's Brian Thomas: Head-Exploding Ignorance

Our local AM morning talk show (before you get to Beck and Limbaugh and Hannity and Levin) here in Cincinnati is hosted by Brian Thomas on WKRC 550. Now, Brian is the sort of person you'd expect on a station like this: fiercely conservative spin-master of talking points of both sides while conveying an "aw, shucks" everyman reasonability.

However, this morning Brian went so far off the rails that I need to relay this tale. He had a caller this morning who didn't say much more than "Keep pointing out the socialism in the State of the Union" because she even has Christian friends who didn't think there was anything wrong with it and there are too many "stupid people."

And at this point, Brian went off on a self-described "tear." He said that Obama shouldn't be offering to help the needy or teach poor kids to read because that "is a theocracy" and by usurping good deeds, Obama - in his theocracy - is robbing Christians of the benefit they get from doing those good deeds, robbing them of the "feel good" aspect of helping others.

WTF?

Somehow Brian has missed some very basic ideas here:

• Christianity is not about fretting over your reward. If you're doing that, you're doing it wrong.
• Christianity is not about fretting over how many "feel good"s you get today. If it is, you're doing it wrong.
• Helping others in need is a good thing in any context; Christians don't own that.
• Helping others in need at a governmental level is NOT a theocracy.
• I can't buy wine on Sunday at my local UDF? That's theocratic.
• Legislating the "sanctity" of marriage? That's theocratic.
• Legislating creationism into the science classroom? That's theocratic.
• Legislating reproductive rights based not on science but a blurb in a 2000 year old book? That's theocratic.

I understand Brian is doing his best to tow the party line and turn anything Obama says - even if it were to be wonderful or beautiful or in lock-step with the Republican party - into dogmatic feces, but this morning's theocratic socialistic mind vomit was beyond the pale.

Brian: I know that 90% of listeners this morning sat back and just accepted that brief bit of babble into their subconscious mind, but if you don't mind the gibberish, you're stirring up a heaping helping of simmering mind melt out in your audience.

In Short: Pam Geller is a Fucking Moron

From Crooks & Liars:

Geller: This is patently untrue. I love Muslims. The Ground Zero mosque is an offensive insult, it's a stab in the eye. I have no problem with mosques across the city. But we're talking about history, and Islamic history, of building triumphal mosques on the cherished sites of conquered lands.

Oh, the fucking mosque again?

Hey, wait, that reminds me of this one thing...you know what I'm talking about? The Christians overtaking every pagan altar in Europe to co-mingle beliefs and eventually convert or silently conquer them? Oh, yeah, and that other time...what was it? Oh, yeah, when Christians came here to find the USA totally uninhabited (except for them injuns) and drove those dark-skinned people out to manifest destiny and get some awesome land - on which they erected churches as a staple of any civilized settlement.

Oh, and it reminds me of that awesome new shirt from T-Shirt Hell that says "Learn to Speak Native American or Get the Fuck Out"

Pam, you are not just ignorant, you are stupid. And as a wise childrens' show host said one time when I was drunk in Toledo at 6am: "Ignorance is just not knowing. That's easy to fix. But stupid? There's no fixin' stupid."

So please stop talking and allow the collective of human intelligence heal for a while.

Democrats Target Bachmann?

It's true! Email in today's right-wing nutter slop pile, Daily Events:

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Nancy Pelosi and her liberal allies in Washington have just moved my race up to one of their top targets.

My opponent was named to the Democrats so-called "Red to Blue" list. These candidates will serve as the rubber stamp to the radical Pelosi agenda of higher taxes, out-of-control spending, and massive government overreach.

Click here to stop the liberal attack machines!

Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are targeting me to keep their razor thin majority in the House to pass their extreme liberal agenda. We need to stop the Obama/Pelosi agenda and fight for our constitutional conservative majority. We cannot back down from this fight.

Will you help defend me and the conservative values we share?

Time is of the essence, I've got an important campaign deadline on August 10th, and it is critical for us to send a clear message and end on a strong note.

Please, click here now to make a contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or more.

I appreciate your help, encouragement and prayers. I will continue to fight for a constitutional conservative majority and lead the effort to repeal government takeover and restore our great nation.

Sincerely,


Michele Bachmann

P.S. Nancy Pelosi would love nothing more than to defeat me this year and is willing to spend whatever it takes to win! And now with Washington's help, millions of dollars will be poured into my opponent coffers from all across the county. Will you help me against the liberal attack machine?

Heyyyyy...wait a second. Are you saying that because of [insert horribly generic Dems-R-Badd rhetoric here], conservatives need not only to vote for you but also give you money? And Human Events is helping you do this?

Shit woman, we (that'd be MOST Americans) are way the hell beyond platitudes, way the hell beyond the politics of "Ooh, Pewosi doesn't wike me!" baby talk with the rubbing of the eyes and the whining. You write this letter (or perhaps allow someone competent to write it) with the intent that anyone gives a shit? I mean, sure, there are plenty of brainwashed righties who'll drop a sawbuck on anything that comes across their inbox denouncing the Left.

But what would happen if you had to actually convince someone of something? What about what you've done or endorsed?

Ooh, that's why you're not touting your actual actions or beliefs. Dag.

You said Obama was the worst President in American History? You refused to fill out your 2010 census? You said that if the GOP wins the house in November that you should "do nothing but issue subpoenas"??? She runs a Christian counseling group with her husband that has taken $30,000 of state taxpayer dollars? She says Obama wants re-education camps for children? She blames Clinton, blacks, and other minorities for the current financial crisis? She's going to form a Tea Party caucus in the House? She introduced a one-page bill to repeal health care?

Sorry, I'll stop now. The fact is that the Repub echo chamber and its own over-echo, FOX News, are more than willing to push Bachmann as yet another seat as yet another non-Democrat. But they can't do it by actually talking about anything she's said or done. Why? She's batshit crazy! And while they continue to push her and allow her to earn a dime or two through Wingnut sites like Daily Events and support her in any way, she is dismantling the Republican Party. Slowly but surely. Note that thing I said above about the "Tea Party caucus?" Holy shit! Now you've got a bunch of ignorant goons running an actual caucus? Actually legitimized? And they're taking power from the other part of the Right?

Bwahahah! I can thing of nothing better than a Bachmann-Palin ticked in 2012. Just give the right enough juice to believe it and it will succeed...until it falls into flames in November.

Matt Drudge's Numbers Are Bullshit

A BILLION THANKS FOR MAKING JUNE 2009 -- TOP JUNE IN DRUDGEREPORT'S 14 YEAR HISTORY! PAGE HIT 675,406,736 VIEWS FROM 129,922,878 VISITS... TRAFFIC ROSE 21% FOR MONTH OVER YEAR AGO [+39% OVER JUNE 2007]...

Matt Drudge is again dumping bullshit down the throats of his readers. While the site is popular (hell, even I visit it almost daily), the numbers he is reporting are NOT what they seem to be. And more people need to raise the call that he is duping everyone with his numbers.

I wrote pretty thoroughly about Drudge's fake numbers about a year and a half ago, so I won't get all that detailed. I will reiterate that the auto-reload and link loading in the same window is deliberately designed to inflate his metrics and mislead people into believing that he is getting much more traffic than he actually is.

(And much of the rise can be attributed to the increase of use of browsers with tabs that can let a page float [and reload] all day long.)

If you visit his site, get in and get out. Be informed about and not fooled by these engineered rankings.

The Republican Tax Day Teabaggin' Party!

I've written repeatedly about how out of touch Republicans are when it comes to things like technology, entertainment, and pop culture. And now, as if staging a deliberate attempt to prove themselves fools, Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity (the Teabaggin' Triumvirate) - along with their multiple conservative mouthpieces - have been billing tomorrow's myopic homage to the Boston Tea Party as a "teabagging" event.

Here are the three biggest problems from my perspective:

1. The Boston Tea Party was a revolt in response to paying taxes to England, a form of "Taxation without representation." We currently have elected representation in America.
2. As of tomorrow, revolting against taxes will actually be revolting against the George W. Bush tax structure as no federal tax (save cigs *argh*) has been enacted by President Obama.
3. UrbanDictionary.com defines Teabagging as: To have a man insert his scrotum into another person's mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.

Some days I just want to jump up and down and shout in wonder: How can you be so lame?

Where were the revolts when Bush killed thousands of Americans? Where were the revolts when he spent billions and billions of our dollars on Iraq - and didn't find it necessary to put it on the books?

If you look at the pictures on the teevee concerning tomorrow, you've got a bunch of assclowns holding up signs about Obama being a socialist, blah blah Wilkow/Hannity/Beck/Limbaugh juice. So apparently they're really protesting money that they pay in taxes that they do not get back in equal share? Not quite sure as the answers can range from confused to unintelligible.

So let's put it this way: I will take these people seriously as soon as they sign a federal, legally-binding document stating that they will never touch one dollar from Unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid for the rest of their lives. And if they do, we will toss them into Boston Harbor. Teabagging is optional on the deportation boat.

Storm o' Gay Commin' ta Getcha

National Organization for Marriage has put out this video because in the last week both Iowa and Vermont have made the very rational decision that "separate" is not "equal" when it comes to same sex marriage.

[UPDATE (thanks, Namoi!):the District of Columbia's City Council approved, 12-0 (w00t!), that the District will recognize same-sex marriages from all 50 states.]

Some people are afraid of teh gay, and because they can't just say "we just don't like them queers" they want to make you afeared as well so everyone can be scared together and blame a common gay enemy. So their argument is by giving same sex couples the same rights as straight couples, straight people will lose their rights. What rights? Well, don't worry about that. Explanations are just for those elitist homos anyway.

Try not to throw up in the back of your throat while being slathered with mediocre production values and ignorant bigotry.



[UPDATE AGAIN!]: Think Progress packed in a couple of the Anti-gay screen test auditions for those fake doctors and mothers reading thorough the scripts. Yes, it will make you even madder.

Hannity, Catholic, Obama, Notre Dame Bullshit

Rut-roah. Obama's inflaming the Catholics!

Well, not all Catholics. Obama is set to deliver the commencement speech at Notre Dame College. Notre Dame is a Catholic school. And Obama is openly pro-choice. OMG!

The truth of the matter is that there are and have been Obama detractors out there looking for any damn thing to pin their dislike of Obama on (you know, besides that he's black). Our case in point is my favorite assclown and yours:



Last week Sean Hannity went into a tirade about how wrong it was for Notre Dame to allow Obama to speak at commencement. He then proceeded to remind listeners that he had received his own flap from Catholics for saying that he prefers birth control over abortion.

The problem here is not with Obama's politics but with a mix of detractors and Catholic doctrine. The pro-choice argument is bullshit; Obama is a man and has not and will never have an abortion, will never commit that sin. And by Hannity's own admission, he himself has said things against Catholic doctrine and should not be allowed to speak at Notre Dame. How about anyone who's not Catholic? By doctrine, they are sinning against God. How about a war hero who killed people in battle? Where do you draw the line?

Well, when you're trying to implicate someone you simply don't like, it appears you just draw the line at Obama.

Note to whiny Catholics: shut up and look in the mirror. I think Jesus said something about that too, didn't he? Without sin and all that? Then again, Catholic doctrine tends to focus more on the Vatican's rules, pomp, and circumstance than on stuff that guy said in that one book.

UPDATE: Pat Buchanan, in an address to the choads who spoon up the Human Events newsletter by sackful - an Irish Catholic himself - dumped this bullshit in a brief bit entitled "Is Notre Dame Still Catholic?" :

To Catholics, abortion is the killing of an unborn child, a premeditated breach of God's Commandment "Thou Shalt Not Kill." The case is closed for all time. Any who participate in an abortion are excommunicated. Catholic politicians from Nancy Pelosi to Joe Biden who support a "woman's right to choose" have been denounced from pulpits and denied Communion.

First point: no one's excommunicated from the church anymore, except in perhaps very rare circumstances. So Pat knows very little about his own religion.

Second point: Neither Biden nor Pelosi have ever been physically, in-person denied communion. Bishops have whined and threatened and shook their fist in the air, but no one has refused to give either that flavorless Necco wafer we all call a piece of Jesus's flesh.

So Pat lied. And that makes him a sinner. And that might just preclude him from speaking at Notre Dame. So I guess Notre Dame's still Catholic. Are you Pat?

Bobby Jindal Epic Fail - And Racism by Proxy

This bit of David Brooks on Bobby Jindal's epic fail (h/t Wonkette):



And during a brief jaunt today I had the unfortunate chance to digest a bit of Rush Limbaugh. He said that Biden probably wondered who sat in for Bobby Jindal's shift at the 7-11.

This is racism by proxy. By saying someone was probably thinking something racist - especially when it is your political party that is known for exacerbating race issues - no one is fooled. You had that thought, Rush. And because it wasn't appropriate for you to have, you put it in the feigned imagination of a democrat.

Another laughably ironic piece of the story. I recently heard Rush lamenting pop culture, that everything in pop culture is looked at as liberal, that it's a foregone conclusion. Of course, someone who was even remotely in the loop on "what's hip" probably wouldn't be making an Indian/convenience store reference with an expiration date a decade old.

Everyone knows a call center or Slumdog Millionaire extra reference is much more apropos.

There are exceptions, but conservatives do not do funny and they do not do hip and they do not do technology. And Rush is case in point.

Sarah PAC - Here We Go. Again.

Sarah Palin has started her own PAC with the stated purpose of "building America's future, supporting fresh ideas and candidates who share our vision for reform and innovation."

The actual purpose, of course, is part of the "Pack it in like Kobayashi" strategy so that in three years she can shit out an Alaska-sized hunk of political capitol all over America. Or that's one of the guesses. When asked what a PAC does, Palin only replied "Ms. Pac-Man is sooooo fun!"



Seriously, though, what's up with the logo? Alaska in the middle of the US?

The imagery represents:

• Blowing an Alaska-sized hole in the breadbasket of America "'cause carbs just don't sit well on my hips."
• "Alaska's big and America is big so that means I'm qualified to be President."
• "When I'm President, this is the area we'll fence off for all America's enemies."
• "Swimming pool!"
• "I can see North Dakota from my house."

But those are just a couple thoughts. What are yours?

Disagreeing with Dems - Fairness Takeover

Lest anyone - gods forbid - think I am a left wing mouthpiece, allow me to hit on two things that have been mentioned in the media in the past couple days.

Dems Target Private Retirement Accounts

Democrats in the U.S. House have been conducting hearings on proposals to confiscate workers’ personal retirement accounts — including 401(k)s and IRAs — and convert them to accounts managed by the Social Security Administration.

Triggered by the financial crisis the past two months, the hearings reportedly were meant to stem losses incurred by many workers and retirees whose 401(k) and IRA balances have been shrinking rapidly.

Holy box of fuck, NO! Stop! I'm the furthest thing from right wing, jizz-clappy, Reagan-idol-worship, but this is not right. Ever. Even if all the money drains from every 401(k): wrong.

You see, when you take the initiative to invest in a retirement plan, you are given all the tools you need to make your choices. If you choose to NOT study up or take more risk than you should, then you're at a loss. If you invest in a low-yield, low risk funds that will weather this storm, you're in luck (honestly, if you're not retiring in the next 10 years, leave everything alone - you'll be back on your feet before you know it, or lose everything when the world ends in 2012).

But the Government does not have the right to take private funds and control them. Does anyone else have any other information on this? I'd like to hear it because the story scares the hell out of me.

The Fairness Doctrine

The right's chattering, the left has mentioned bringing it back. Stop. For the love of the hairy balls of Jesus H. Christ, stop this madness.

The fairness doctrine, for those who do not know, was abolished in 1987 as a way to present controversial issues in a "balanced" manner for anyone who has a broadcast license. After it was gone? Hundreds - nay, thousands - of political talk radio shows have been spawned, most of them polarized.

Right now, the right wingnutters hold the scepter of broadcast talk radio. And that's fine. Why? Two reasons:

1. Would you prefer that political douchebags like Limbaugh and Hannity mask their abject disgust towards democrats and gays and, occasionally, colored folk or allow them to dump their bigotry for all to see?
2. Liberals, for the most part, already own the internet. Why? I'm not sure, but it appears that the ingenuity and learning required to become tech-savvy beyond logging onto your AOL email or typing "www.google.com" into MSN's search box eludes these folks. TV is going to go digital and lose millions of viewers to confusion in about 2 months. If that ever happened to radio, goodbye Rush.

So note to democrats: Stop. During this election cycle, the Nazi right pulled a lot of shit to make us sound like government-takeover nutjobs.

Don't prove them right.

The Wilkow Arguments

Yes, still more on Andrew Wilkow.

I originally wrote, after getting Sirius Radio, about someone I'd never heard about before: Andrew Wilkow. Why? He's a right-wing nutter and drives me insane some days. What do I mean by "some days?" I listen to him as long as I can stand because he's got a unique perspective, bases his many arguments in the founding documents of our country, and I respect his opinion even if I don't agree with it. Most of the time.

I'm still getting comments on my original post (most anonymous right-wing cowards with bad grammar skills), and one came through the other day that needed notice:

"How can you say Rush or Wilkow make things up?"

Rush Limbaugh makes shit up all the damned time, misappropriates stats to bounce his opinions, and cherry-picks quotes with inferences designed to fire up his ignorant, worshipful base. Talk about messianic. There are dozens of sites that'll give you a rundown; this isn't one of them.

But I figured Andrew deserved a little more. So I specifically listened to see if anything didn't quite jive. And, damn, shit just didn't jive.

It started with Andrew stating that the top three leading causes of death in America were smoking-related cancer, obesity, and promiscuous sex ("AIDS-related death" is what he said). While I have no reason to argue with the smoking-related cancer (and other problems associated with it) and obesity (and problems associated with it), but promiscuous sex?

I looked at the primary avoidable causes of death in America and compiled a list of references from the CDC, Vandenberg Air Force Base, and The Mayo Clinic.

They all list things like heart disease, cancer, stroke, accidents, flu, Alzheimer's, diabetes, and septicemia.

Where does that gay AIDS sex come in? It doesn't. If he was citing something, I could not find it, and everything that could be found wasn't even close. This would be one of those "made up" things, skewered truth to twist his argument.

But what was the argument? It was an argument against Universal, socialized medicine. Unfortunately for Andrew, Barack Obama's health care plan is not "Universal health care" as he repeatedly claimed.

The argument itself centered around how wrong the socialism aspect of health care is if someone who smokes or is obese or has promiscuous sex and taxes the system unfairly because everyone is paying into the same system but some people are getting more out of it. That, encapsulated, makes a bit of sense.

But where does the argument end when it comes to practical applications in a "perfect," capitalist-driven medical society? Well, kind of in the suck state it's in now: controlled by an insurance collusion where competition is not defined by gaining the most customers, but by cutting costs, dropping risk, and leaving even those with insurance unable to get the treatment they may need. We've got differences in cost for people who smoke and some creeping up for obesity. Next comes labs - high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. Then DNA. And then the insurance companies raise and raise and raise rates at will, cite whatever they want, and are unaccountable to anyone. Why? The Great Right Wing Deregulation Machine.

That's no way to keep people healthy. Our form of health care in America is a collapsing disaster. And socializing it could only be a good thing.

Why not? Every government employee is currently receiving socialized, government-controlled health care. Personally, I pay property taxes based on the value of my home and have equal access to services such as fire and police. Do they take into account whether or not I don't lock my doors or have a gas stove or an open fireplace or smoke in my house, all things that increase the chances of me requiring those services? Nope. Why? We live in a society where parts of it are already socialized. And those parts work pretty damned well.

And as for socialism, The Republican Vice Presidential candidate is governor of a state that holds socialized, collective control of the oil in the state and every resident gets a check cut by the state. Now that's socialism.


One final note on the show. Andrew Wilkow, railing against the red herring that is conservative ACORN scare tactics, asked "Why would you have to file one fake ballot?" What follows are actual facts:
- No one is committing voting fraud. That happens when you vote. Hence the name.
- No one is submitting fake ballots. See above.
- Employees of ACORN are not perpetuating an organized attack at the heart of democracy; they are idiots trying to pad their pockets, making this employee fraud.
- ACORN is the victim of this fraud.
- Not one fictional person, including Mickey Mouse, will show up to vote on November 4th because they do not exist in this reality, nor would they have a valid ID to match their fictional address.
- Federal law states that every voter registration collected must be submitted, even if it appears fraudulent.

This is a non-issue, and the fact that Andrew Wilkow took this tack, wielded the purposefully-confused righty rhetoric designed to grow fear, well that makes him nothing more than a tool on this topic, an appendage of the Republican Terror Machine. And while this example - mixing up the language, turning a non-issue into a scare tactic - is not him making things up, if he's as smart and "intellectual" as he says he is, he should know better. And if he does, then he's purposefully lying. And that's even worse.

More McCain/Palin Supporter Racism

Almost 3 minutes of stomach-churning, racist, ignorance. Johnstown, PA Palin rally.

Ben Stein: Continuing a Legacy of WTF

I remember almost two years ago when I thought Ben Stein was a pretty hep cat, and then one day I realized he was an idiot tool for the right wing.

He's still out shucking eye drops - and ignorance.

Media Matters brought the following to my attention:

On the July 23 edition of CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck, guest Ben Stein, while discussing Sen. Barack Obama's plan to deliver his speech accepting the Democratic presidential nomination at Denver's Invesco Field, stated that he did not "like the idea of Senator Obama giving his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 wildly cheering people" because "[t]hat is not the way we do things in political parties in the United States of America." Stein continued: "Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuehrer would have done. And I think whoever is advising Senator Obama to do this is bringing up all kinds of very unfortunate images from the past."

Sour fucking grapes.

No, Ben, it's not "the way we do things" in US politics because people look at politics with shades of ennui and disdain: they think it's boring and bullshit and 24-hour C-SPAN and in the back rooms they plot and plan and figure out how to rape and pillage America. The fact that any person in American politics could get 75,000 people not only excited enough to talk about going to see him, but to actually mobilize and fill a goddamned stadium is amazing in a world with a six second attention span.

My history professor in college said that you can tell a lot about a civilization by the largest areas of congregation that it constructs. Ancient Rome had the Coliseum; The Dark Ages brought wonder to the masses with churches and cathedrals; Today, it's NASCAR. Seriously.

And a man who stakes his career on his supposed intelligence is comparing Barack Obama to Hitler - forget the discussion, forget Godwin's Law, right out the fucking gate: well, he's Hitler.

But while the reference was obviously to Hitler, I can't quite wrap my head around Ben's word choice: the Fuehrer. I understand he probably understood he was making a dick move and wanted to soften the blow, but "Fuehrer" is German for "leader," noun capitalization and all.

So in an obvious move to demonize Barack Obama (oddly, by referencing a man who would have killed Barack Obama based solely on his skin color), Mr. Stein inadvertently called Barack Obama a leader and - a man of Jewish heritage himself - referred to the monster that annihilated millions of of that Jewish heritage by Hitler's honorary name, der Fuehrer.

Ben Stein: today - and every day - Cause For Concern's Pet WTF Tool.

NOM California: Yay Bigotry!

The National Organization for Marriage California sent me some hate email in the form of a celebratory call to action:

We've succeeded in the first phase of the most critical battle in the nation over the future of marriage. On Monday, the Secretary of State of California certified that we had the signatures necessary to get the California Marriage Amendment on the ballot. Thanks to the efforts of everyone who prayed, donated, volunteered, circulated or signed the California Marriage Amendment petition, the voters of California will have the chance to overrule our Supreme Court and protect marriage in our state.

So, horray for NOM for bigotry! Horray for inequality! Horray for ignorance!

The email goes on to scare the homophobes even more, that if you live in California that means more queers and if you don't then your state could be next. Queers I say! Queers!



So if NOM California is so bent on limiting the rights of same-sex couples, why is their token heterosexual couple composed of a woman and a shorter, wispy-haired manifestation of chemotherapy androgyny, photoshopped with a butt-chin?

Coulter Says...

From Ann:

In a conversation recently, I mentioned as an aside what a great president George Bush has been and my friend was surprised. I was surprised that he was surprised.

I generally don't write columns about the manifestly obvious, but, yes, the man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents.

A-hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ahhh...hahhaahahaha!

Ann Coulter, your supposed satire is priceless!

Earth Day Makes Me Angry

Well, not Earth Day per se. It's the satellite radio and right wing blogs that make me angry. They're all railing about being inundated with Earth Day and how bad and bullshit it all is. Right now I'm listening to Fox Across America with Spencer Hughes and he's crapping himself about what "brainwashing" his kids are going to come home with because they might have discussed Earth Day in school, because the War Against Global Warming is "war against capitalism" and "war against Western Civilization."



The far right wing has gone from questioning popular and well-accepted science to abject quackery. Many believe the following:

• At the top tier of batshit crazy is those folks who refuse to believe that global warming is even real, often citing the ignorance of Global Cooling in the 1970's and claiming we are going to be looking at more cooling to come. None of them acknowledge that a piece of Antarctica four times the size of Manhattan collapsed into the ocean a couple weeks ago.


• If they do believe that Global Warming is a reality, it is not because of humans, but a long-disputed idea that it is solely because of a complex variety of the Earth's tilt and proximity to the sun. Wingnuts say it is insane liberal egomania to think that little ol' us humans could affect the environment, could affect the planet as a whole. These folks ignore well-established theories, basic scientific understanding, and anything any liberal has to say.


• Not only is Earth Day a horror and brainwashing, but because of alternative and bio-fuel research, we have food riots (and that is the sole reason, of course). This is a first: because of a generalized liberal focus on Global Warming, we've got Conservatives to give a shit about poor people - in other countries.


• Global Warming is a hoax and liberals are purposefully misleading the world in order to make themselves rich, damage American industry/jobs, and institute Socialism. No mention is made of conservatives beginning wars in order to make themselves rich, damage American industry/jobs, and institute a Police State.


• The obviously pagan Liberals treat the Gospel of Al Gore as their Religion.

No, this is not a joke.

And Al Gore is to blame! Understand that most people who think that Global Warming is a hoax are Conservative Republicans. Right Wing whackjobs hate liberals so damned much and, by association, Al Gore. Al Gore has made the world more aware of the problems we face with "An Inconvenient Truth." So at the detriment of the entire planet Earth, conservatives will refuse to agree with a liberal, because to do so might somehow, indirectly lead to admitting that Al Gore should have been the president, legally, about eight years ago.

Wingnuts are not only sadly attacking liberals and science, but their own. The attacks have gone from "try the science" to "I'm throwin' my shoe at the stupid train because it's stupid. Trains 'r' stupid. Trains." Bush recently announced a focus on climate change and then there's Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, sitting on a couch with - gasp! - Nancy Pelosi addressing - GASP! - Climate Change. Take a look:



And then there's NewsBusters, the self-proclaimed Right Wing equivalent to Media Matters. Unfortunately for them and as is par for all direct comparisons between Liberals and Conservatives on the internet, we're piloting advanced aircraft and they're wearing a shit grin over the two pence kite they just bought. But we're on Global Warming on Earth Day today, so let's address Brent Baker's "NBC 'Green with Envy' Over Swedes for 'Showing Kindness to Planet'."

Let that title sink in for a second, because that's the meat and potatoes of it. Brent Baker is apparently outraged that NBC turned Earth Day into "Earth Week," changed their logo to green to signify something to pay attention to, and did a story on how Sweden pays attention to the planet by lauding and providing an accessible public transportation system, is trying to be fossil fuel (an admittedly-limited fuel source) free by 2020, and keeping the environment clean.

Thank God for Brent Baker for exposing "the network's activist agenda." Earth Day - or Week - is about understanding and trying to eliminate the horrible things us human beings are doing to our environment, an environment that we need to support us: plant trees, stop pollution, etc. You know, the basics.

Based on this outrage for keeping our planet habitable, Mr. Baker is ostensibly shitting on his dining room table, eating from the rim of his toilet, or both.

Athletes are fearing going to China for the 2008 Olympics because of what the Chinese have done to the environment. Of course, it's pure hubris to think that we can affect the planet.

This is the politics of Global Warming. Here's the reality: no matter what you believe, dumping tons and tons and tons of waste into the environment in the form of solid, liquid, and gas is going to affect the environment. Lil ol' us nothin'. No, even if we fired every nuclear weapon in every arsenal we would not "destroy the Earth," but we would make life as we know it impossible. We can affect the planet. We are affecting the planet. And should our houses not be in order very soon, it shall be a plague on both them, Conservative and Liberal alike.

Mike Church - Brainwashing Kids, Blatant Lies

Sirius Radio has given me new perspective on the horrors of right wing talk shows. First it was Andrew Wilkow. I can almost stomach the whole show. Now...

Right wingnut radio neo-con, Mike Church - also known as "King Dude" because of an apparent unhealthy love affair with "The Big Lebowski" but ironically looks like every other straight-laced repub - was spouting flat earth global warming "myth" garbage and bragging about how well-versed his daughters are in the mythos of global warming caused by the proximity of Earth to the sun on Thursday.

Specifically, he talked to his daughters about how the lumber industry is doing the world a great service because if they didn't cut down those trees, those trees would grow old and dry out and die. Or some shit. He went on to say that because of hippie lawsuits, the lumber market is suffering, and that the folks on the show "Ax Men" on the History Channel are actually Canadians because they couldn't find any Americans who were loggers anymore.

Couple things, Mike:

1. Cutting down trees kills those trees. As you stated, those trees are reseeded. This is not a "natural process." Lightning and fires and decay are.


2. The lumber market is suffering because of the failure of the housing market which was artificially inflated by rich, white repub bankers.


3. The History Channel show "Ax Men" features American loggers logging in the American Pacific Northwest. Take two seconds not to sound like a boob.

Oh, Jesus, he just said the Liberals demanding religious tolerance in Tibet have no desire to extend the same tolerance to Mormons here in America. If he's referring to the recent spat in Texas where over 300 kids were taken into custody, Mike must be equating under-age sexual abuse - rape - to something that lives in the realm of acceptable religious practices. For someone with an 11 year old daughter, he should be ashamed.

I could write all day on this, but listening to him spew verbal diarrhea, yelling over the callers, putting everyone on defensive because of a perceived level of intelligence, and showboating musical parody as high comedy is giving me an ulcer.


UPDATE: 2 years later, I've been noticed by Mike Church. Read the comments here, then go to the modern post.