Please no.

I haven't posted anything since we told our kiddos about baby number 4.  Not that nothing has happened, because it has.  More that I was . . . embarrassed, maybe? . . . scared?  I don't know.  I wasn't in the mood or frame of mind to share, so I didn't.  Sorry!

So life was going oober fast when I found out baby was coming.  Which is lame because when does life NOT go fast, right?  I remember getting home from my mission thinking to myself 'Oh good, time can kind of ease up and slow down for a little bit.' HA!!!  It was a joke I played on myself.  That was over a decade ago and time hasn't slowed down since and seems to always gain momentum.  Oh well.  I digress.  Life was crazy and SOMETIMES (ok, ALL the time) I think I'm Wonder Woman.  If you don't know who she is, she's a crazy hot chick that can pull off a leotard and stellar boots and, while looking amazing, kick everyone in the butt while accomplishing everything she sets out to do.  Ya, I don't even try to rock the leo (not even before I was 6 months pregnant), but I still think that I should be able to do everything.  I maybe kind of want the boots, but right now I really just want my comfy flip flops. 

When I think back to February I realize logically that I'm probably insane.  I'm not 20.  My body has gone through 3 other pregnancies full term and my sleeping schedule?  Well, let's just say my kids eat up all day and night :)  And my eating practices . . . food is NOT my fuel, friends, it's partly my therapy, which realistically means I eat tons of junk.  As a recap: I was going 110 mph at all times, not sleeping well, not eating well, and teaching more aerobics/dance classes than a 33 year old gal with pretty awful morning sickness should.  And best of all, I was thinking that I could do all of this and could have probably taken on more if I could cut sleep completely out of my life.  Insane.

So then I had one TREMENDOUSLY busy week.  My normal schedule was 6 dance classes and 4 aerobics classes.  That particular week I did all that, plus 8 other hours of a Friday/Saturday certification that was quite a bit more physically intense than I had intended.  I've done other certs . . . but not like this one.  I was exhausted.  Then amazingly, four days later I started spotting which developed into some pretty intense bleeding.  BOOM!!  My midwife made no bones about the fact that I was no longer able to do as much.  'Not so as much' pretty much meant not do anything.  At first I thought she meant for like two weeks.  That was totally doable.  I got things in place so I could sit on the couch and not do anything.  Then I went in for a follow up and I got the BOOM!! all over again when she told me she wanted me to do nothing for at least the next FIVE weeks until I had my 20 week ultrasound and 'we would go from there.'  I like to think it wasn't bed rest just because I could go places, I just couldn't do things.  Like lift anything over five pounds (that's a joke when you have other kids at home, but I gave it SUCH a good try!).  Like work out.  Like run and play with my kids.  Like do anything that might get my heart rate up.  *gasp*  I read 6 books the first five days.

It was a long five weeks.  But my sister, Sherri, came over to my house every day.  Tyler was completely amazing.  My ward even brought us delicious food.  Five long weeks later, my 20 week ultrasound showed everything being stereotypically perfect and healthy.  AWESOME!!  I even got the cautioned go ahead to start exercising and living life again.  PHEW!!  I haven't taken my classes back and I'll only take back cycling and dance is OFFICIALLY over for the season.  I can't teach RIPPED because I have no self control when put in that environment.  Honestly, friends, when my endorphins kick in and I'm teaching, I feel nothing but the need to push myself into oblivion.  I've become a freak and I am aware of that. 

What now? you ask?  Well, school is out on Thursday (if you can honestly call 90 minutes of school on Thursday a school day.  I seriously have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning for my daughter to go to school for 90 minutes?!).  And beyond that I AM taking back 2 of my cycling classes.  If you're thinking about working out, come!  I only teach beginning cycling at PGCC and I love it so so much.  I think I may try prenatal yoga and my midwife has strongly recommended that I invest my time in water aerobics if I 'feel like I have to workout at an intense rate'.  She's such a smart lady :)  Other than that, I feel like my daily routine until baby will consist of a kiddy pool for my swollen feeties, a lawn chair under my deck, and my kindle.  If you want to hang out, we'll be here :)

Is this real life?

This is Tyler and me.  We are quite cute, I think :)  We have a picture like this from when we were engaged but I think, like a fine wine, we have gotten better with age!  haha!

We even still like each other, if you can imagine.  We like each other enough that we've had some kids.  And we like them, too. 

We're so amazed by our little ones and adore them so much that we thought we'd try one more time and see if the next little one could be as fun and great as our first three!

We are THAT excited! 

 

 Oh, the little one is expected right around the first week of September.  I feel pretty much horrible all the time.  I feel constantly like I could puke . . . or pass out . . . but neither of those things have come to fruition yet.  I'm hoping it passes without actually experiencing either.  That would be a nice surprise (much like this entire pregnancy!!).  I'm only 10 weeks but yesterday at aerobics one of my fave patrons said 'Oh look, you already have a little belly.'  She was trying to be nice, but I hoped it would be another month before THAT started.  Oh, well.  I guess most of us can't escape the fact that our body's know what to do by the fourth around.  It's going to be a fun adventure, this one!!  September certainly can't come fast enough!

How's it going?

Today I'm a good ole three weeks in to my Dr Pepper weaning.  I thought I'd post a tiny update in case anyone was wondering how it's going (or you're bored and surfing in the internet . . . which I certainly never do.  waawaaa). 

Okay, so 3 weeks in, I'm down to less than 16 oz of Dr Pepper a day.  It's fine.  My blood sugar has been a little wacky the last few weeks, though, so that's not making anything easier.  Before, when I would workout and my blood sugar would bottom out, I'd grab a DP and a candy bar which would fix it (not in a good way, friends, I know that).  Then I would find better food and be fine.  But I'm trying to not depend on soda to fix a sugar crash . . . which means I need to get things stabilized . . . blah blah blah.  It's harder than I expected it to be.  But my body is going through more than just Dr Pepper with drawl and I'm trying to be patient with that.  My first swallow of DP was a 3:30 yesterday which is AMAZING for me.  I pretty much think about soda the first 10 minutes I'm awake, so this was no small feat!

I've had some days where I give myself permission to drink as much as I want (this is not in 'the plan' but I am only one person!) but I've been amazed at how much my body is okay with small amounts.  I know this may shock you, but 6 months ago . . . or two months ago :), if I was having a particularly trying day, I could drink a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper.  Gross, I know.  But on my binge days the last couple of weeks, I haven't even cleared one liter, which seriously, is nothing.  I'm kinda proud of me.

One awesome side note, I've been sleeping really well!  That makes me so happy! 

So that's where I am and what's going on.  I'm moving forward with this and Tyler's even said some encouraging things!!  Imagine :)

Here it is...

I've said this before.  I have a Dr Pepper addiction.  I do.  I'll spare you ALL the details and just share a few :)  Tyler and I went to a combined Relief Society/Priesthood meeting together one Sunday on addiction.  I laughed so hard through most of it.  Hearing the speaker describe what is considered 'addiction' is something I had to rethink.  Oh my.  Funny.  I had an addiction!  Like in a totally depressing kind of way.  HA!  So that was back in, like, September.  Then fast forward a few months.  I started to realize several things.  I get that soda, especially dark and caffeinated soda, is super bad for you.  I know.  What I didn't realize is how hard it is on my body . . . all the way around.  What the sugar and acid does to my joints, specifically.  IT SUCKS!  It sucks because know I have to do something about it, right?  I make my living off my physical well being.  Teaching dance and aerobics.  If my body breaks down, I can't do my job.  SOOOOO, here we are.  Me knowing that I have to cut soda out of my life.  LIFE.  It sounds so permanent!  Totally scary!  And soda is a total mental crutch for me.  I didn't realize that until Christmas break.  When I'm upset or annoyed I go grab a soda.  When I'm tired or bored, I go grab a soda.  When I'm super stressed . . . soda.  Okay, not SODA, but Dr Pepper.  In all of those situations and countless other ones.

Here's the good news:  I have a plan :)  I do.  I've 'tried quitting' drinking soda lots and lots and lots of times.  My family hates when I do that.  They ask me not to.  I hope I have come to the center of why I haven't made it through.  I shall explain, because I'm sure you care . . . or else why would you still be reading?  Haha!  Okay, so I think that I have failed because I always think that I'm 'tough' enough to quit cold turkey.  Let me tell you what happens:  Head.  Aches.  Oh, my headaches.  Ya, like a weeks worth of migraine headaches isn't awful enough?  Let me tell you, it wasn't the worst part.  I stop sleeping.  Because I have no sugar/caffeine crash, I can't go to sleep.  Then what do I want ALL DAY?!  Dr Pepper.  Yes, thank you.  There's also (and I think this is the worst part for me) the total confusion in my body without so many extra calories.  I EAT EVERYTHING.  The last time I 'quit drinking soda', I gained like five pounds because I ate so much.  So.  Hungry.  Oh, and I'm a total grump.  Because I don't have my crutch to run to, I take those emotions on everyone around me.  It's not fun.  Okay, so the PLAN:  I'm gonna take a couple of months to wean myself off of it.  I'm not going to lie:  I'm scared to do this.  I'm scared because I know that I can't cheat.  I'm an all or nothing girl and if I have a cheat, I'll jump off that wagon like it's a burning train headed right for me.  I'm scared for those days that 'I just don't care' (I had one of those days yesterday and drank about 3 times my daily ration.  Not even kidding.)  I'm two weeks in to my rationing and I've only had 2 days of those 14 in which I didn't care and drank what I wanted.  Argh.  I'm giving myself six more weeks to somehow conquer myself.  Hm.

Okay, I do want to point out one thing.  I don't care about losing weight.  That has NOTHING, and mean not one iota to do with this.  It's totally a health thing.  I have love handles.  I have a booty that shakes when I stop moving.  I have what appears to be golf balls shoved under the skin of my thighs.  Ya, I do.  I don't care.  I was nervous about what would happen if I lose weight . . . if my dance students would think I've gone on a diet.  But I've decided that if I do lose some weight at some point, that's what happens when you make healthy choices.  Healthy. 

Whoop, there it is!  That's all I have to say for now.  I have a lot of determination here, so I'm gonna just think that I've got this in the bag :)

Devotional!

Saturday night I was texting with one of my friends and she invited me to tag along to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional.  Um . . . YES!!!  I had our whole evening planned in about 10 minutes.  It was exactly what I needed (Jenn, you know I love ya!)!!!  The Conference Center is so beautiful and peaceful, even with thousands of people streaming in and through!!  So off we went on our GNO.  Jenn and Janice were my saving grace for like 4 years in church.  They sat with me and my kiddos every week during Sacrament Meeting while Tyler was on the stand.  And Rachel came with us . . . because everyone loves her and wants her to be around :)

The Devotional was amazing, of course.  To be so near the entire First Presidency is completely amazing and then our seats were awesome so we were in the same section as . . . well, we SAW Elder Perry, Elder Nelson, Elder Zwick (of the 70 . . . he was the area authority on the east coast when Ty and I were on our missions so it was cool for me to be by him), Elder Ballard . . . there may have been more, but I can't remember and I was so overwhelmed by being there!

The meeting seemed so short.  The Spirit was perfect and I bawled my eyes out during the closing song, Silent Night.  Darn that Mormon Tabernacle Choir for being SOOOO good!! Ha!  I learned much.  Some from what was said during the devotional, and some from the Spirit teaching me what I needed to hear.

Afterwards the girls indulged my need to hear the Christus.  It was so busy we had to wait in line to hear it.  On my mission we had a Christus and I did that presentation thousands of times.  It makes me homesick for DC.  We walked around the grounds and loved every second of it.  And the night was so warm and still . . . until we got in our car and drove out of the parking garage.  We had NO IDEA there was a torrential downpour happening as soon as we went inside.  It was AWESOME!!!

Oh, friends.  The Church is true and God lives and Jesus Christ is our Savior.  They love us very much.  My heart is full this season and I hope that I can tame the hustle and bustle this year, so I can truly re-devote my heart to serving others because that's what Christ wants.  He is the reason for this season.

Stake Conference!! Who's excited?!

So we had Stake Conference today.  We pretty much won the lottery!  Moved in last weekend . . . this weekend:

ELDER BEDNAR!!!  It was so good.  Of course.  Tyler and Bryndee went an hour early to get 'good seats' and I took Bailey and Boston up to my mom's for her to watch/take to her ward, so we could listen.  Rude, I know.  Anyhoo, an hour early got us seats literally on the last row in the back corner of the gym!!  I guess the chapel was full before 8 am.  No chance of us getting soft seats :)  Oh, well.  It was amazing just to be in the same room, right?  They called on random people in the congregation to bear testimony and WOW I can't even imagine being asked to do that in front of an apostle!  Anyway, two of the people asked to testify was a couple leaving on a mission in a month.  When Elder Bednar started speaking he gave them personal counsel.  Good grief!  It was cool.  So he spoke for an entire hour and gave so much great direction.  And lots of good one line messages.  I wrote a few down that I wanted to remember:

*We need to have faith that we CAN be healed . . . not that we WILL be healed.

*Sometimes we can't be healed until we have the faith to not be healed.

*Living the Gospel isn't what's hard . . . not living the Gospel is what's hard.

*Not shrinking is more important than surviving.

 Something great he talked about was that Jesus Christ spent his ministry finding and teaching individuals.  Not in Stake Conferences, not in leadership trainings, but finding the one.  The one that needs the message that He carried.  And He spent the time they needed.  It was super applicable.

He also talked about how the scriptures foretold the church coming from darkness and obscurity.  We are now out of darkness and obscurity and now we're in the 'Mormon Moment' but he said that we would never go back.  And the heat associated with being in the light won't go away, either.  Very interesting!

He said lots of other really great things, but these are the things that I felt obtained to me the most.  It was such a great morning!!

Our new digs!!

So THIS (see above) is our new place!  We (and by we, I mean for sure I) are so so excited to be moving in!!  We started the big move on Friday night and here we are.  Still moving in :)  I won't go into too boring of details of the closing and all that, but just know that we will never move again unless we can pay cash for the thing.  It was truly horrible and heart stopping and stressful.  But our realtor, Tom Borst, was a total champ and got it done just like he said he would!

This little tree is my very favorite.  It looks less cute with all the leaves gone but it's such an itty bitty weeping willow.  I guess it was totally supposed to be another kind of tree, so we may eventually have to pull it out so it won't take over the house.  But in the mean time, I will love my tree :)

This play set is probably the kids favorite thing.  They've never had such a great thing in their back yard.

This is another favorite thing of mine.  This is the view off my deck . . . it's Bryndee's school.  Ya, it's RIGHT THERE!  For our walking pleasure, Bryndee now walks to school 5 minutes before the bell rings and she's totally on time.  Gone are the days of 18 tardies in one term . . . if they ever existed (wink, wink).

And our Daisy dog is home!!!  She got to have an extended play date with my brother's two dogs for two months while we stayed with my grandma (she wasn't really invited).  My brother and sister-in-law were Daisy's saving grace.  She was happy there, but we are happy to have her back!!  Thanks again Lance and Megan!!!

We got these leather love seat/recliners for such a disgustingly amazing deal that I won't even put on here what we paid.  But we are excited to have more comfy couches to add to our collection . . . especially couches that aren't WHITE.  Why do we do that to ourselves?!  

I will put up pics of the inside at some point when there is more to see than boxes and random crap everywhere you look.  

I will just say one more time:  We are SO excited to be here!!!  AAAHHHHHH!!!!

Happy Halllllloweeeeeeen!!

Truth be told, I'm a TOTAL Halloween humbug.  I hate this holiday.  The only good thing about it is the sugary treats I get to steal from my children when they aren't looking.  I don't ever dress up.  I barely get my little ones and my better half (that, friends, would be Tyler Wilkins.  SOO my better half) a costume in time for the festivities to begin.  But this year, I was seriously on my game!  WOOT. 

My Grandma Stone (who we are living with currently) has all these super great wigs.  So Tyler and I brought some out and played in celebration of Halloween.  Oh, and just so you know, if you tape your nose up like pig-ish, it completely changes your face.  And, in case you ever wondered, I have a great nose.  There's like, almost no cartilage in my nose, so just a piece of tape, and I'm Miss Piggy's new step sister.  Oh, seriously. 

Oh, so the point of all this, I got Halloween costumes almost a month ago.  Thank you Little Adventures  warehouse sale!!  Princess dresses, a whopping seven bucks.  Super Hero stuff, an amazing five dolla!  I KNOW!!!!  I was ALMOST excited for Halloween (until the teeny bopper hookers took to the streets and then I remembered why I loathe this particular holiday . . . Who was it that said 'Thank you, Halloween, for showing us that every profession has a slutty side...' or something of that nature.  Honestly).

Bailey had a little preschool Halloween program, AND, as opposed to last year, she totally sang and did stuff!!  This is her with her BFF in class, Colbie...and I'm not sure who the little girl on the end is, but she's awfully cute, too :)

So, all in all, Halloween was a success.  Boston is now officially fighting croup, but what would winter in the Wilkins household be without illness present every moment!  There is candy galore, and now, thanks to an exhausting emotional topsy turvy day, we have lemon merange pie sitting around.  Oh, that picture right above . . . it's me and Tyler.  He's hot no matter what.  As for Miss Piggy's sister, I'm not so sure!

Proud Mommy Moment Alert!

Last night it was Boston's turn for family prayers.  It was so adorable and he said it all by himself.  It was about four sentences long and he said 'Thank you for all our blessings' a couple of times.  It was completely heart melting.  Oh, he's getting so so big!

And Jenn, these completely random pics are mostly for you :)  I miss you!

Sorry, I think I'm just a little grumpy

I have neglected my poor poor little blog.  I have.  I know it.  If you are reading this, you probably know it, too.  It just is what it is.  I have thought soooo many time that I should blog.  Inevitably, my next thought is 'What should I blog about? . . . Hmmmm . . . I have nothing to blog about.  I guess I won't blog, then.'  But that's just a lie, isn't it?  We all have STUFF happening in our lives.  Lots of times it's boring, I know.  I feel like my life is particularly boring right now so I have chosen not to share.  But who doesn't want to waste a few minutes being bored reading my blog?!  Maybe several people :)

 Maybe someday we'll be super rich . . . not even rich, but well enough off that we'll take amazing vacations every month.  Better yet, maybe we'll vacation every WEEK!  Ha!  Anyway, if that day ever comes (which, seriously, don't hold your breath ... death would be certain) I'll blog all my gorgeous, eat-your-heart-out, breath taking photographic proof of my adventures.  Until then, you're stuck with my totally random, hopefully amusing, ramblings on my mostly boring and pretty stereotypical life.  Hi, my name is Natalie Wilkins, and I think I'm stinking hilarious most of the time.

Anyhoo, I realize now that I decided not to blog because I'm just a little grumpy.  Nothing seems nice when you're grumpy.  I'll get over it . . . no no no, I'm GETTING over it right now :)  Totally.  Good thing I workout so much.  Because you know what they say 'Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.  They just don't' (can you name my fave movie?)

I'm so less grumpy right now.