I See They've Fixed That

     "Labs" have become common in modern medicine.  At least once a year, you skip breakfast and go get a blood draw, and at your next doctor's appointment, there's a lot of serious talk about blood sugar, thyroid levels, and (at least for some of us)  that one is years past child-bearing age and has hormone levels that are out of whack (no, no, it's just mood swings, doc.  Yeah.  That's all.).

     At first, the doctor's offices did the blood draw, and sent the vials off to wherever.  Then the lab companies set up inside the offices of large group practices, and then they added external offices, usually near clusters of medical offices.  There were a couple of companies, at least around here, and in Indianapolis, you could count on finding one a short drive away.

     Orders -- the list of tests your doctor wanted done -- were computerized and you could usually go to any office.  They'd type in your name and everything would pop up on the screen, hey, presto!  It was quick and convenient.

     At some point -- I remember it as shortly before the pandemic -- one of the two big lab companies bought the other one.  They merged computer systems and a few offices closed.  Then the pandemic hit and they had to stay open, but with minimum staff.  They automated check-in, and all but the biggest offices ran with just one phlebotomist tech at a time.  The usual mask-wearing and social-distance rules applied, and they started to emphasize scheduled appointments over walk-ins.

     That was my most recent experience with them.  I avoided medical stuff as much as possible during the height of the pandemic, figuring the profession had enough to deal with.  Recently, the office of my latest doctor got put out of business; some investment outfit was buying up medical practices, got too big, too fast, and closed down suddenly in several states, including Indiana.  Surprise!  She absquatulated to parts unknown, needing to maintain employment to keep her bills paid, and I found yet another doctor.

     Ahead of my first appointment, they sent in a lab order.  "Nothing to it," think I, "Just black coffee for breakfast, a quick stop at the lab nearest the North Campus on my way to work, lose a few vials of blood and get some kind of delicious semi-fast food at one of the interesting places nearby afterward."  I was looking forward to it.

     It didn't work out.
     Item: That office is c-l-o-s-e-d gone.  The next closest is several miles away.  There are a lot fewer locations now.
     Item: It's pretty much all by appointment now, and their computer system has crashed: my test orders don't show up on the web site.  No test orders in the computer, no tests.  I called the doctor's office, gave them the fax number for the office I planned to go to, and they sent it in.  (Yes, a fax. In 2024.  I know.)
     Item: I am now stuck going to that office; they're the only one with my lab order.
     Item: If you do show up as a walk-in, the automated system slots you in the next open appointment.  When I did so, mine was two and a half hours away.  I needed to be at work.  I bailed.

     Okay, fine.  Gotta work the system.  I decided to do it Friday.

     I logged into the site early this morning.  The only open appointments were in mid-afternoon, when I needed to be at work.

     This lab isn't going to happen.  I'm pretty sure I can get the blood draw done at the in-office lab after or before my first appointment with the new doctor, and catch up later.

     But if I didn't have a couple of prescriptions that need to be maintained -- for blood pressure and some other old-people stuff -- I'd say to hell with the whole thing, and go back to using doc-in-a-box for anything that didn't clear up on its own.