谁说爱他就必须拥有他？爱他就应该放弃他。
以前的我，真的太固执了，
总以为爱一定要拥有才是幸福。
其实事情不是这样的。
我一直以来都用自己的想法来想事情，
从来没有站在他的立场为他想过。
他以为我会慢慢发觉，并且改过，
但是我没有。
我只是一而再，再二三的令他失望。
经过了这么多事情之后，
我终于明白了你那番话的意思。
喜欢和爱只是一种感觉。
如果想要维持这份感情，就不只是喜欢彼此那么简单而已。
你想得比我多、比我远、比我更深入。
我们的相处不够多、不够久、能谈的东西，
每天也只是围绕着那几个话题。
我们有太多的不同，也有太多的误解。
缺乏沟通的情侣，在经过许多没有解开的心结后，终究会分开的。
对于我们的感情，你知道已经不可能再维持很久，
因为我们的性格真的太不一样了。
你选择在我们还没爱得太深之前，
先放开了我的手。
知道已经不能长久，知道自己明明还喜欢，
但还是决定自己承受悲痛，选择离开。
想必你那时候应该非常痛苦吧？
你默默的承受，但是我还一直不停的伤害你，气你。
现在一切都已经太迟了。
挽回、道歉、弥补都已经太迟了。
现在我想通了，爱你不一定需要拥有你。
我为我的幼稚，我的自私，我的愚蠢向你道歉。
谢谢你给我一段那么珍贵的回忆，谢谢你的包容，你的拥抱。
也谢谢你让我改变了我自己。
我没有资格在让你回到我身边来，但是我会祝福你=）
或许..下一次当你在见到我的时候，会发觉到我的不同、我的改变。
或许、可能、以后..我们还有机会在一起吧...
下一次应该会更好=）
但未来的事，又有谁能未卜先知呢？
在这最后的时刻我没令你失望。
我遵守了我对你最终的承诺。
再见了，我的爱。
PS:在下一次见面之前。。你还会想念我吗？
day 25
Soo shitty.
Many people seems to have finish their O's already.
Only the pure humans people still have 1 major paper tomorrow.
Crappy.
Tomorrow is human geog paper.
Sian!
All those definitions,factors and explanations are soo gonna make my brain burst.
I wanna have einstein's brain!
But i think it is kinda too late now because his brain have already decomposed.Eww!
Imagine maggots all over the brain of a genius scientist=P
Ok forget it. I should do something like studying,instead of day dreaming.
At least it is more practical.
But i am still super jealous!Olevel please be over soon!
Whatever.
Gotta start studying.
Gotta be more mature.
Gotta learn.
Please get well soon!=) don't make me worry...
PS:I will say a little prayer for you each night before i go to bed.
DAY22
600TH POST
today is a shitty day.
went to work was late.
fuck!
then nevermind.
work work work.
soo many freaky things went through my mind.
our brain is such a weird thing.
you can think of sooo many things at one time.
scary!
cant even concentrate at work.
after work i went home.
didn't wanted to go out.
end up i meet dione and candies at toapayoh for our usual stuff.
like good old times.
BEANCURD!!
crapped along the way...
and at the stall!
as usual our table was the loudest.!
then yuling came.usual stuff.
then we went home.
went home suddenly some weird person talk to me.
wah lao..
keep telling me about he and his ex.
what happened and all those crap.
sian!
then he keep asking me what happen to me.
why i emo all that.
siao.
he just have to remind me of the things that i keep running away from.
and the things that i don't want to think of.
what is wrong with me or what is wrong with my surroundings?
why does someone have to remind me that we already broke up.
why does someone have to tell me to move on?
why does someone have to tell me that i am found,
when i prefer to stay in the corner and emo on my own.
why do i have so many why does?!
what is wrong with me.
don't leave me alone.
but i don't want to be found.
don't ask me to move on,
but i don't think i should hold on.
don't let go of me.
but i guessed you have already left me behind.
i am sorry.
it is too late for me to regret.
why can't i laugh like i used to?
why am i screaming?!
i don't know.
tell me why..
sorry i am just too tired that's why i am easily agitated now.
sorry if i offended anyone.
i didn't mean to and i don't want to.
PS:i will only sleep when i am done crying.
Day 21 since you left.
Girl: It's crazy right? To love someone who hurts you?
Boy: It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you, loves you.
saw this some where and i though it was interesting..
i think it is super cool.
yeah.it is super crazy to think that someone who hurts you still love you.
isn't it?
am i suppose to wake up to my senses and think about how i should move on with life?
i think i should.
maybe later.
hate to think of you,because it hurts.
it hurts me deep inside.
learn it.
the moral of the story is: maybe we should move on instead of thinking that the person who hurts you still love you.
PS:i can forget everything everyday.including,forgetting to forget you.
Day 19
Life still goes on, O level still continues.
Nothing will stop and wait for you.
The night will still come,the day will still end.
Sometimes it is already to late,when you decided to turn back.
I regretted.
But life still have go on.
Ling was right.
Never miss the chance to say i miss you and i love you.
Because you never know when will happen the next second.
Maybe you will be bang down by a car the next moment?
Maybe you will faint on the street and never wake up?
Maybe someone will stab you while you are walking down the street?
If any of that or something worst happens...
You will miss the chance to say those words forever. And ever.
Never neglect any chance you have to express feelings.
Live every day like your last day.
So you will always try your very best to express your feelings to your love ones=)
I missed my chance.
So you guys better grab every opportunity you have to express your feelings.
Whether the other party answers to your feelings or not.
You have nothing to regret.
Because you did what you can=)
Friends don't let yourself live with regret:)
Do the best you can,with everything you have.
Best of luck=)
PS: Do everything you can,with everything you have.
Omg!O level have started!
Soo shitty...
I got kidnap 3days in a row... Sian!
Ytd Sir and mr X came to fetch me from court. Damn funny lah! Both of them blast the music.
The windows were wind down.we just scream and sing like crazy. Damn fun! I screamed the loudest=P then sir look at me as if i was a crazy woman. I told him i am super hyper today! He said good. Then X say the emo me that he saw yesterday seem soo act like that.and it is good to see the crazy me again=) heehee!
I LOVE TO BE CRAZY!!
Scream and shout during the journey to some hotel,because we are suppose to pick yuling up after her dinner! Damn fun! Then we go to mac ritchie=)
Quite eerie!seriously saying i was scared!because they keep saying later the granny will come and find you... Eew!scary! We walked around the place then sit down and talk=)
Crap around then we went to a play ground at thomson to sit and play then i went home.
MR X was freaking nice that day!i seriously don't know why=P
Don't always think you are alone,because you will never know when your friend will lend you a helping hand=) they will always will there to back you up=) they will be there to take all your nonsense,then pick you up from the ground.
I shall not disappoint them=)
PS:I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
Anyone of us lyrics
I've been letting you down, down
Girl I know I've been such a fool
Giving in to temptation
When I should've played it cool
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand
[chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break
'cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break
'cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake
She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should've known
She must have altered my senses
'cause I offered to walk her home
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand
[chorus]
A stupid mistake
She means nothing to me
(nothing to me)
I swear every word is true
Don't wanna lose you
If I could be bought with all the money that you have, then love doesn't have to exist.
