Review: Taste of Minnesota

I'd always wanted to go to the Taste of Minnesota, but I had never attended it before. I somehow ended up making plans far away from St. Paul every year on that weekend. This year, I wanted to put it on my calendar as soon as possible so I wouldn't forget it.

That idea was promptly shattered when I read that admission would cost $30, instead of being free or the measly $10 it was to enter last year. My reasoning for not going was that the ticket pricing means either the festival is doing really well and would be too crowded for my sociophobic tendencies, or its doing not so well and organizers are trying to make up for something.

Then two things happened: My travel plans for this weekend fell through and two free admission tickets to the Taste of Minnesota landed in my lap. Was it destiny? I wasn't sure what to expect, but such serendipitous circumstances maybe gave me the impression that I was about to have a truly memorable experience revolving around two of my favorite things: Music and food.

On Friday, July 2nd, 2010, I went to the Taste of Minnesota at Harriet Island in St. Paul, Minnesota, and there was music and food, but I wouldn't say that my experience was particularly memorable. Part of that had to do with something entirely out of the festival's control, and that was the very warm weather with a high of 87 degrees. But most of my disappointing experience rested with the heart and soul of the Taste: the food itself.

When one hears of a festival called “Taste of _____,” it is expected that one will find many food items there that are representative of the local community. Though the most of the vendors there were uniquely Minnesotan, what was on the menu was not. Put most bluntly, this year’s Taste of Minnesota could have been called Taste of Any County & State Fair Anywhere. There were hot dogs, corn dogs, French fries and pizza galore, but you can get that at practically any festival. There were also major chains there like Famous Dave’s, Joe’s Crab Shack, and Bubba Gump, but those were places I have already been to before – I wanted to be exposed to new food choices!

Northwoods Steak Buffet held promise, but they were basically just serving fries and blooming onions. Bennett’s Chop & Rail House served the same but also offered pork chop on a stick. Liffey Irish Pub at first sounded tempting, but was only serving fish, chips (fries), or fish and chips. Booth after booth offered burgers, mini donuts, and ice cream; few had any imagination. The Pioneer Press was dead wrong with its headline touting that the Taste of Minnesota had gone upscale.

There were some winners, though. The 5-8 Grill was there, serving up Juicy Lucy’s and Pig Pens. Edina’s CRAVE and Minneapolis’ SEVEN offered sushi, but the latter kicked in tasty hand-carved beef sandwiches. Vero Pizza was serving pizza, but it was deliciously coal-fired, not made in a normal oven. These were the types of unique foods I was looking for, not the same old run-of-the-mill fair food that saturates the summer festival season.

Another big winner was a booth selling something called Cream Cheese Comets. They were basically large cream cheese wontons filled with flavored fillings, the options being cinnamon-sugar or strawberry. They were so good, we came back to the booth for another strawberry comet!

I liked that the Taste of Minnesota was making a sincere attempt at managing the incredible amount of waste such an event produces. In addition to recycling stations that accepted aluminum cans and plastic bottles, there were organic recycling bins accepting paper and wood products. The only trouble was that some vendors were distributing food in items that didn't meet the recycling or organic waste specifications. One had to seriously look for a trash bin in which to place these items.

The musical entertainment was great! We caught the bands Minus the Bear and The Walkmen on the main stage. Dawes and James Hunter were playing at the City Pages Big Music Tent. Willie Murphy Band was rocking the Red House Records & KFAI Stage. Kids from The School of Rock were jamming at the MomsLikeMe.com Stage.

There were also other forms of entertainment, like ballet and belly dancers at the Circus Suventas, a tent with record spinning deejays, and a ramp where BMX tricksters defied gravity on their bikes. There was even a cooking demonstration where some chefs made sumptuous looking ravioli with some sort of cream-based sauce. This last bit of entertainment made me wonder why there weren’t more creative menus among the Taste of Minnesota participants – bringing the cooking technology needed to make such creations obviously was not the issue.

By the time 7:00 rolled around, the real drawbacks to the festival’s various payment systems were detracting from our experience. First were the admission tickets, which were tiered – pre-purchased $20 tickets had to be redeemed by 4:00 or we would have to pay the $30 gate price. We showed up as close to that time as we could, but after three hours of intense heat with shade providing little comfort the weather was taking its toll on us. We were intensely thirsty, which led to the next trouble involving the food and beverage tickets that had to be purchased at the gate. Food vendors didn’t take cash, they took “tickets” that could be bought in packs of eight for $5, which was smart in that the vendors didn’t have to worry about large sums of money, but discouraging once we ran out of tickets. It was almost two hours to the show we really wanted to see, Atmosphere, and we had already basically seen all we were going to see, eaten all we were going to eat, and drank all we were to have drunk (which wasn’t much, considering we had to shell out $3 for armbands just for the privilege to drink in addition to the equivalent of $6.25 per 12 ounce, tasty Summit beer).

We heard P.O.S. as we were leaving. We were hot and bored with the equivalent of no money, surrounded by beer and food we couldn’t drink, waiting for a musical act that felt like an eternity away. Even so, many of the booths were already closing for reasons we didn't quite understand. Had we actually paid for our admission tickets, we might have made a bigger attempt to stick around for Atmosphere, though I imagine we’d have been too tired and heat-stroked to enjoy it much. Because we left when we did, we could say that we had a pleasant time at the Taste of Minnesota despite missing the last concert - Atmosphere will be back in due time! Scorching weather notwithstanding, we could also say that given the run-of-the-mill food offerings, we probably won’t feel the need to attend the Taste of Minnesota again.

Photos from the Taste of Minnesota.

Review: Donny Dirk's Zombie Den in Minneapolis

Last week was my 30th birthday (no, I'm not shy about it) and to celebrate, a bunch of my friends and I went out to dinner and then to Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. It was a unique experience.

We went out to eat first, because for the life of me, I couldn't find a menu for Donny Dirk's. But then I saw it mentioned on their website that the Zombie Den is "One of only a handful of lounges where you can relax and drink... and there is no pressure to eat." Hmm, with the zombie theme, I can understand why the menu might be light. Additionally, the place is so small, I find it hard to believe they have much of a kitchen, anyway.

But they have a beautiful bar. Yes, beautiful. Donny Dirk's may be a new bar, but the building it inhabits has been around for at least 100 years. The architecture of this century-old building is still in tact. The bar used to be Frank's for decades following World War I. When the owner died and a new one took over, all of the bar stools were removed and Stand Up Frank's was born. Its tag-line appears to have been "We Mix 'Em Strong." No, I'm not kidding, just take a look at these ads. With nothing more to do than stand around and drink, Stand Up Frank's became a trouble-spot, filled with drunks and crime. Needless to say, it was shut down sometime in April of 2009 and remained closed for a while.

The tiny building was bought by the people who brought us Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge and Saint Sabrina's. They've been busy redefining the place. The age-worn bar that ran the length of the building is still there, along with its ornate ceiling, but there are stools! And booths! Extra chairs for those extra people, which we needed to fit 5 into a 4 person booth. And the joint was jumpin'.

When we arrived, there was no place to sit - the booths were filled, along with all the stools, and there were some people standing at the bar. We made our way to the end of the bar to order some drinks while we watched for a table to open up. I had a Voodoo Zombie, my friends ordered Sister Switchblades and Dark'n'Stormies. The Sister Switchblade was strawberry flavored. The Dark'n'Stormy was a ginger and rum drink. And the Voodoo Zombie was a strong rum drink with something called Pernod in it. All of them were exceptionally strong. And they had unique flavors, as many of Donny Dirk's signature drinks are old recipes from the 1930s and 1940s. If you only like frilly frou-frou drinks, the Zombie Den is not the place for you.

If you are hungry, Donny Dirk's is not completely without food. A Batphone, just like the red one in the "Batman" TV series has a direct line to Psycho Suzi's. You can order food from there and it will be delivered to the Zombie Den at your bidding.

When we finally got a table, I took a good look at the interior decorating here, which I love. It's sort-of like 1920s speakeasy meets 1950s horror movie mansion. The walls had this smoky mirrored tile that reflected the low lighting, making it seem brighter and dingier at the same time. The ornate ceiling was a yellow color and the floor had tiger-print carpeting. The booths and stools were brightly colored vinyl. Really, there was a richness to the decorations here. Until you saw the machete on the wall, the chain saw in the corner, and the zombie heads mounted to the wall. A neon sign behind the bar proclaims "Undead Frank Lives." At this bar, don't expect to watch The Game, whatever the sport, as there were horror movies being played on all the TVs.

The service was excellent. The bartenders were obviously busy but were very engaged with their customers. After we found our table, our server was extremely attentive. I didn't quite get the differences between the uniforms, though. The guys were wearing white-button up shirts with fake blood stains on them and black ties, ala Sean from Sean of the Dead. The ladies were wearing long black evening gowns. Big disconnect there, but that's part of the enigma, I guess!

The crowd at the Zombie Den was eclectic. There were some hipsters, goths, geeks, preps, working stiffs, and some people who looked like they had just come from the theatre. The atmosphere was lively, jovial, and warm. Because of the trouble associated with Stand Up Frank's, there is a dress-code at Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. But it's very easy to deal with, just don't wear a sports cap or a team jersey. Pretty easy, right?

When I told my friends we were coming here, they had a lot of ideas in their head of what it would be. I'm not sure if it met their expectations. They thought it would be more like an undead paradise, but I thought of it more like the bar in Sean of the Dead: A place to make your last stand should the zombie apocalypse happen. With the solid brick walls, few windows, and weaponry all over the walls, it would be a great place to hole up during a rising of the undead.

But until then, it's a great place to wet the whistle on a Friday or Saturday night.

Review: Slipknot Concert in Saint Paul

On January 23rd, 2009, Slipknot began their All Hope is Gone World Tour in the great city of St. Paul, Minnesota. If you were there, you know it. If you weren’t, you missed a spectacular show, thick on the spectacle.

Being that the streets are icy and our journey to the Xcel Energy Center was in the middle of rush hour on a Friday, my date and I didn’t quite make it on time, so I didn’t get to hear much of the very first band that played, Trivium. What I heard as I was finding my seat sounded decent. The people in the section around us seemed to think they were pretty good.

I can’t say the same for the second band that played, Coheed and Cambria. I had heard of them before, listened to some of their music in the past, and sang “Welcome Home” while playing Rock Band. I can’t say that any of them were a good experience. I’m going to take the stance that I can’t say anything nice here, so I won’t say anything at all about their “musical performance” last night. I would like to point out, though, that unlike Trivium, no one in our section seemed to like Coheed and Cambria either.

After the red velvet curtain was finally pulled for Slipknot’s show, the nine members of the band launched immediately from zero to full speed like a rocket taking flight. With a drummer and two percussionists banging on beer kegs to drive the beat, how could they not? This review isn’t about a set-list, you can find that here, but they played many of their best songs, including “Wait and Bleed”, “Duality”, and “Before I Forget”. They also played “Psychosocial”, “Dead Memories”, and “All Hope is Gone” from their new album of the same name.

This is a band that has done their homework regarding the theatrics and entertainment of concert experiences. Their drum sets were on hydraulic lifts that raised about ten feet off of the ground and spun in a circle! At one point during the encore, the full drum kit was raised and then tilted forward to a 90 degree angle until a still-seated Joey Jordison had a great view of the floor. All the while, he played on and the rhythmic pace continued. Heavy guitar riffs and mind bending samples combined for a high octane soundtrack to what proved to be not only an amazing music concert but a great piece of theater.

The ringmaster of this show was lead singer Corey Taylor. Being a corn-fed Midwesterner by birth, you could tell that he really enjoyed performing for a crowd close to his roots. And this audience was enraptured with absolutely everything he did. Spitting out lyrics while perched on a bank of lights at the front of the stage, his presence commanded the attention of every person at the Xcel. He was like a magician, as with a wave of his hand and a few words, the crowd was spellbound, ready to do his bidding. Clap, shout, jump, sing: We listened. Like the pied piper, if he would have lead us out into the streets, 18,000 people probably would have followed. It’s a good thing that he uses his powers for good instead of evil.

This concert was an incredible experience. I’ve always liked Slipknot from the first time I heard “Wait and Bleed”, but this was my first time seeing them live. From running around the stage like controlled wildfire to dangling from a hydraulically lifted drum-set, these guys were always doing something interesting on top of playing great music. I would highly recommend a Slipknot concert to people with a love for rock, heavy metal, or at least a good tolerance for loudness because even if the music isn’t your cup of tea, these guys are entertaining to watch.