A LETTER TO CALEB

A LETTER TO CALEB

As I sit here tonight I wonder if you are also sitting somewhere in a heavenly sphere, watching and listening to what is happening in this world of ours?

I can almost imagine you asking yourself if what you went through for your family while you were here on earth was worth it? The trials and tribulations of Kirtland, Nauvoo and Liberty Jail were more than I can imagine as I sit here in comfort in my home. But how do you feel about the trials you had to suffer? Were they worth it, to bring a new Church and a new way of thinking to help your family and their families learn new things and change so that they might return to live in a heavenly sphere in the hereafter as one large family?

Do you and those with you still dream and imagine there is still hope for your family and friends, even in this world of sin, hatred and despotism? Or do you realize these things are just part of a larger plan and it is inevitable that they will happen; so you sit there watching and hoping that we will rise above the sins of the world and look for and see the good and the beautiful and raise ourselves up to be a generation ---like yours—that can change the world, do much good, see the light and life of the gospel come into the eyes of our children. Are you hoping these things happen for us as they once did for you as you lived, traveled and suffered and had joy with Joseph and the other Brethren when the Church was in its infancy?

What you did was not without cost! Nancy and yourself gave all your earthly possessions, with the exception of what you could load into a wagon, to join an unpopular Church, leave your home to do as the Lord counseled his people, just as Lehi did with his family in ancient times. Thousands of others did the same thing along with you and I often wonder if I today would sacrifice as you did, if I was asked? I imagine it could be said you gave your life for what you believed! The beatings and the suffering in Liberty Jail caused such pain and agony that you died at the relative young age of 56 after the long trip across the plains to the promised land of Utah. How do you feel about these things? I often try to imagine those things but somehow I am unable to comprehend them?

I am sure you realize that you left posterity here to carry on with the beliefs you had. Of course some of them chose a different path and I am sure that must have caused you grief and heartache, perhaps even a broken heart? However I am sure you understand just as I do that this is all part of the eternal plan—The part we call Free Agency. We all can chose what we think is right or wrong-just as you did—after conversing with Parley Pratt about his strange new religion. I also am sure that you have learned, just as I have, that although we have the right to choose we also must accept the consequences of our choices; be they right or wrong!

As I never really had the opportunity to meet you and get to know you, I often wonder if we were anything alike in our thinking or our actions. As you were told in your Patriarchal Blessing your have suffered afflictions but borne them with patience. You were also told that the Lord had looked down on you and forgiven you for your sins and your former trespasses. That tells me we are at least alike in some ways. We have both sinned and we are capable of repentance and that we both held the Priesthood. I hope that someday we may meet and embrace and feel of each other’s spirit and have joy in our posterity together.

Caleb, when you were in Kirtland, Nauvoo, Liberty and Garden Grove I wonder if you even imagined what would happen to this small Church you had become a part of? It is now like nothing you could imagine at that time! You pledged your time, your talents and all the means at your disposal to help build Temples in both Kirtland and Nauvoo, only to leave them to screaming mobs. Now there are over 100 Temples scattered over this earth and there will be many more because we have been promised they will dot the land. Of course I am sure you know this now but did you imagine it when you were helping to build the first Temple in Kirtland?

It is hard to believe that a Church made up of common people like you and I and our children and grand children could grow to twelve million souls so quickly and it is still growing and flourishing every year, month and day.

I hope with all my heart that I will never forget what you did for our family and that I try to live a life that will bring us together. I am sure you are well aware that the Church is doing fine. I have pledged to do my best and sometimes I even do. However I do not believe I have ever suffered as the early Saints had to and I hope I am never called to do so. I hope your posterity, including myself, have done the best we can and as the pioneer song says, “All is well.”

Written by:

Wallace R. Baldwin
3^rd Great Grandson
of Caleb Baldwin
18 Dec 2004

LONELINESS

   In 1994 I put some thoughts about loneliness on a piece of paper. Since that time I have learned a lot more about being lonely.
   My wife of 57 years passed away in 2012 and my son passed away in 2013. They died about three months apart. I don't know about anyone else but for me it took a while for the loneliness to settle in. However it did come and it was a lot different than anything I had imagined.
   I can truly say I love the people around me (both family and friends) that cheered me up, came by and talked about old times, and fed me, or in other words just continued to be friends.
   One thing that was hard for me before Donnie passed away was when someone was grieving, I did not to know what to say so I would just not say anything. I have found out that at least in my case it has been far better to talk about it than to ignore it.
   Thanks to all my friends and family and here are a few thoughts on loneliness penned in 1994

LONELINESS        30 Apr 1994

Loneliness arrives with the winter snow
Far more often than when flowers grow.
The dark comes sooner, both eve and morn,
And lonely thoughts, then seem to be born

Winter brings darkness, and the wind doth blow.

And many don’t visit, because of the snow.

Loneliness does not arrive all at once I fear.

But its pain is as real as the point of a spear.

Lonely has been here from the creation I believe.
Adam was lonely so God created his Eve.
Loneliness does not come to just we who are old.
The young also get lonely, or so I’ve been told.

 One Sunday I was pondering on what it is to be lonely and if being lonely was any different in our modern times, than it was in times past?

 Many things went through my mind. I thought of the loneliness of Moroni in the D&C, Moroni 8:2-3, where all the Nephites were killed except Moroni. He had watched them being killed. Even his father had been killed and he was all alone in a country where he was being pursued. Imagine the loneliness he felt. In Moroni 1:1 he just finished abridging the plates and states, “he has not perished but he is still in hiding, lest he should be destroyed.” And in Moroni 10:34 he is still alone and knows he is going to die. It is hard for me to imagine the loneliness he must have felt at that time.

 While meditating I thought of some of the times I have felt lonely or alone. Not nearly as intense as Moroni’s situation but nevertheless, indeed lonely.

 You might ask if it is possible to be lonely with people all around you. I can answer that. Indeed it is. In the many years I have traveled for my work, I found many times there were people all around me. But indeed I still felt all alone. When the day was done, they went to their homes and families and I had to go to the four walls of a motel room in a strange town.

 I recall one time while visiting the sick at a rest home a little old elderly lady came up to me and said, “when you get through talking to that man would you mind coming and talking to me for a few minutes.” It tugged at my heart to realize that here was a lady who’s only wish at that moment was to have someone spend a few minutes to talk to her. Oh, how lonely she must have felt.

 Then the thought, do loneliness and fear go together? I recall at least one time when this was true. My daughter and I had gone snowmobiling and we got one of the machines stuck in some new powder snow by our cabin. I decided to take the other machine and go around the road to make a trail so she could follow it out. I started down the road and got in some very deep powder. I did not dare stop as I was afraid I would get the second machine stuck so I kept going farther away, always hoping to turn around and head back to the cabin. Just as I must have known it would happen, I finally bogged down in the powder snow and could not get out. I was afraid. I was alone! To make a long story short I was rescued by three guys who I am sure were angels. After trying everything I could think of I had prayed intensely, and just a few minutes after that here came three guys on snowmobiles and got me out. I was alone, snowbound and I was afraid for my daughter who I had left up by the cabin. I don’t know which was the worst, the fear or the being alone, and as I said maybe they are connected.

 I have been alone in my own home for a few days and I did not like it. I guess we humans are not designed to enjoy being alone.

 Back to my thoughts of can you feel alone in the presence of other people? Imagine Joseph Smiths feeling when he was in Liberty Jail. My 3^rd Great Grandfather, Caleb Baldwin was with him in that dungeon and I cannot even begin to imagine how they felt. They must have felt alone and abandoned, for Joseph asked the Lord, “O God, Where art thou?” Just to read the D&C 121:1-6 makes me cringe at how alone and forgotten these brethren must have felt.

 I have thought many times of how lonely people must feel when their loved ones pass beyond the veil. What could be more lonely than being left behind, alone? After spending most of your life with someone I guess the only thing that could be worse would be to not understand that if we live the Gospel as best we can, our loneliness will only be for a short time and then we also will pass the veil and be together with our loved ones.

BALDWIN GENEALOGY

I am an avid genealogist, in fact I have been accused of being an addict of it. I have loved to be involved with the Baldwin genealogy line for many years. One evening as I was sitting watching out the window while I took a break, I suddenly realized that in my particular branch of the genealogy tree I was the end of my line. I had never thought about it before but at that time I penned the few lines below.

So good bad or indifferent here is a thought that I had that day----

The Allegory of the Baldwin Orchard

 

I was sitting doing genealogy today and since I have moved my office upstairs I was also watching the breeze blow the leaves on the trees. Then as one leaf fell it made me think of all the leaves that fall off the tree in the fall. Somehow I connected with, the last leaf on the tree and how it hangs on but eventually loses the battle and falls to the ground.

 

I am that last leaf on My Baldwin apple tree. Of course I am not the last Baldwin as there or tens of thousands of them in the United States and many more all over the world. However I AM the last one on my tree.

 

Just for fun here is how it goes—

Caleb Baldwin had 10 children of which 3 were boys. One of those boys was Caleb Clark Baldwin and he had 9 children of which 6 were boys. One of those boys was Caleb Hyrum Baldwin and he had 12 children of which 10 were boys. One of those boys was William Ancel Baldwin who had 2 children of which 1 was a boy. That boy was William Wallace Baldwin, who was my father. William Wallace Baldwin had 2 children of which 1 was a boy (Me). Wallace Ray Baldwin had 4 children of which one was a boy. Steven Ray Baldwin my only son passed away 21 Feb 2013 and he never had any children. So that is the end of the Baldwin name on my tree in the Baldwin orchard.

 

I am 81 years old so there are no more Baldwin leaves hiding in MY tree. There are a lot of leaves in my orchard with Baldwin names and of course there are a lot of leaves still left on my tree who do not have the Baldwin name.  However I am the last leaf on my Baldwin tree and like the last leaf in the fall I am just barely hanging on, and on a cold winter day I shake and wave in the wind and look at all the other’s in the orchard that have fell from the tree and are gone, or they like me are just hanging on.

 

Of course there are more trees in the orchard with the Baldwin name and many of them have been very prolific. However it is a little sad for me to know that when I am gone my individual Baldwin tree will not progress with the Baldwin name as I am hanging on as tight as I can and the winds seem to be blowing harder and harder each year, month or day, so eventually I to will fall and my particular tree in the Baldwin orchard will die and our line will never produce a Baldwin again.

 

22 Aug 2013

DAD OR GRANDPA

I wrote this before I became a great grandpa, which was several years ago. I am glad I date my little notes and stories as otherwise I would never remember when I wrote them. I was talking to one of my daughters a few weeks ago and it got me thinking about being a great grandpa and I remembered I had jotted this down a few years ago so I thought I would add it to my blog.

So good bad or indifferent here it is-----

 

 

                             DAD OR GRANDPA

   When did I change from Dad to Grandpa? I suppose probably in the same time frame of life that my Dad and many other Dads’ did.

When my wife and I started having children it seems my dad almost immediately became known as Grandpa.

  When the children started talking of course he was Grandpa but Donnie and I had started calling him Grandpa long before that. He was Grandpa from that point forward until he passed away.

  When our children started having children my official name seemed to magically change to Grandpa. And like most Grandpa’s I liked the name a lot. In fact I seemed to feel some kind of a glow when my kids as well as their kids called me Grandpa.

  When I was traveling out of town and got home late I always gave my wife a kiss then went in to see if my children were asleep and made sure they were covered up and then gave them a kiss on the cheek. Of course if they were awake when I got home this never happened. I am sure this ritual was more for my comfort than it was for theirs. They were so innocent and peaceful looking as most children are when they are sleeping. Of course kissing on the cheek was out of concern for a dad not a grandpa.

  In a lot of ways it is much easier to be a grandpa than it is to be a dad. I think for the most part a grandpa gives advice to his grand children in a loving humorous way when appropriate or in a serious way if that is called for. But as a dad it seems there was a lot more serious than there was humorous.

  As a dad I seemed to be preoccupied with providing (what I thought) were the necessities of life. As a grandpa providing fun time and fun memories seem to take on more importance.

   I loved holding my kids and grand kids on my lap (in the hole) and either reading to them or telling them some of grandpa’s “made up” stories.

I loved to prove to my kids and my grand kids that if I held them tightly to me and walked the floor and hummed to them they would quit fussing and go to sleep. I think that worked almost all of the time.

  Grandchildren for the most part are very accepting of a grandpa’s love and affection. Of course as they get older they seem to think that you are OLD and of course they think they know more than you do.(And of course in many cases that is true Ha Ha.)

  My dad had a saying, “never give advice to your married children unless they ask for it.” I guess it kind of rubbed off on me also. The older I got the more I thought the same way.

  My dad also had a “tongue in cheek” saying he used to repeat. “The prettiest Christmas Lights are the kids and grand kids tail lights on the car backing out of the driveway and heading down the road.” I am sure it was not serious as he loved his grand kids. I also never did take to this saying as I have always loved to have the kids and grand kids in our home during the Holiday season.

  Several years ago I thought of the idea of writing my grandkids a Birthday Letter instead of sending a Birthday Card. It turned into one of the most enjoyable things I have done. I could tell them how much I love them. I could tell them what expectations I had for them and I could try and guide them into a good education and I could just share my thoughts with them. I am not sure they all liked my “Grandpa’s Advice” but I think they must have gained the knowledge that I loved them all and each one individually. I only wish I had thought to do it for my children when they were young.

  One thing I have found out is that grandpa’s make great bulletin boards. You know the kind I mean; a sweatshirt that says “Super Grandpa” or “My grandkids are cuter than yours.” The sweatshirts advertising that I have been to Alaska, or Panama, or Bermuda. Then a son or grandson’s school Football Team or basketball team. Then there are the hats that do the same thing. If all Grandpa’s decided to stop doing that the country’s economy would drop 20% overnight.

  Grandpa’s are almost always on the side of his grandchildren. It does not matter if he is standing against parents, teachers or peers. Some say he is spoiling them but he knows he is just sticking up for them as his grandpa did for him. Well, and perhaps just a little spoiling.

It is hard to believe that grandpa’s ever get old but believe me they do. It seems like all at once they cannot play catch, hike a mountain, and walk beside a fishing stream and many other things. However they always have time to tell a story or read a book or watch a movie (that perhaps they do not even understand) or just hold a child on his lap and rock in the rocker for a while.

  I am not sure when I turned from a Dad to a Grandpa but here is a list of things that happened during that transformation.

1. Riding in the back of Cracroft’s truck and picking “weed heads” until the allergies almost made your eyes swell clear shut.

2. Rafting on the rivers in Utah & Idaho.

3. Feeding the ducks and geese at Sugar House Park and the Duck Park.

4. Camping and cabining as family.

5. Taking the kids and grand kids to Disneyland.

6. Listening to Piano recitals.

7. Attending back to school nights—sometimes good ones- some bad.

8. Car parts scattered all over the car port FOR WEEKS at a time.

9. Family B-Days for many years—they started with my Dad.

10. Tradition of feeding a fish named STAR at Island Park.

11. Trips to Yellowstone.

12. Family deer hunting trips.

13. Snowmobiling.

14. Marriages.

15. Attending sports activities—both boys and girls.

16. CHRISTMAS WITH SANTA IN OUR BASEMENT.

17. Having friends of our children gather at our home and having fun.

18. Just sitting as a group and reminiscing—telling old time family stories.

  So it has been a wild ride for me--- and I guess I am still a Dad and a Grandpa and I guess I also am not sure exactly where I fit right now. Perhaps it will be as a Great Grandpa?

 

Thoughts in October 2012

 

 

CLEANED UP SWEAR WORDS

     I am finally home recovering from a short stint in the hospital for what they told me was a minor surgery. Well to them it may have been minor but for me it was like a few days in that hot place known as h___.

     After the operation they told me they were going to keep me overnight just to make sure that I did not have any complications. I thought that was a good thing, until I had lain in the “torture rack” that they called a bed for a while. The mattress was about one inch thick and the bed was three pieces of what felt like plywood that were somehow hinged to hold them together. When I got in they raised the top up at the top and down in the middle. Then the next section was down in the middle and up under my knees. The bottom section was up under my knees and down by my feet. Well I am a pretty big and tall guy so none of the joints in the bed fit where they evidently were supposed to. Of course no bending at the hips and the knees, but somewhere in between in each case. Just to be sure you do not get any sleep the bed parts moved up and down just a little all night just to make sure you would not go to sleep.

     In the morning a very nice nurse came and asked me if I thought I could walk half way down the hall and back. I asked her if I could, would that mean I could go home. She told me I very likely would be able to but I need to walk first. I told her if I could go home to my own bed I could probably walk to the Salt Palace and back.

     When they did decide I could go home they told me to get dressed and they would do the paperwork. I almost could not get out of bed. I hurt in every joint and every muscle. I could not straighten out my legs, my chest hurt and I almost convinced myself I had a heart attack.

     Well after being told I would be OK in a few days I got ready and my daughter came and got me and brought me home.

     The reason for the big long dissertation above was just to set the stage for some things that went through my mind while I was almost delirious that night of recovery.

     A couple of the interns (I think?) were using some of the modern (what I call cleaned up swear words) and to my tender 82 year old ears I have learned to hate them as bad as REAL swear words. I usually do not say anything to anyone when I hear them as I am sure they probably do not bother most people or everyone would not use them.

     However while laying on the rack I started to think that I and my friends had some of these words and phrases when we were young and we never thought anything about using them.

     Did you ever use these words when you were young and do you remember what they meant?

          Spaz                              Dibs

          Fuzz                              Eyeball THAT

          Egghead                 Made in the shade

          Split                              Go Ape

          Bread                            Zip It

     Of course different parts of the country had different favorite words and some were worse than others.

JUST SAYING (ha ha)

     By the way the Doctor’s and Nurse’s were right and I did start to feel better in a few days and I hope I am on the road to recovery.

     Wally Baldwin

Mormon Comment by Federalist Press

January 6, 2014

Federalist Press Online Political News Service

The “Mormon Effect”

February 22, 2013 By Editor 283 Comments

During the 2012 presidential campaign, that awesomely deep well of perpetual wisdom, Alec Baldwin, proclaimed that if Barack Obama were not black, his vote total would have been 20 percent higher.
People of real intelligence realize that the opposite was probably true: if he had been white, his vote total would have been 20 percent lower. The African-American voting bloc combined with enough whites suffering from liberal guilt guaranteed a higher vote total for Obama.
The truth of the matter is, if Mitt Romney had not been a Mormon, his vote total might very well have been significantly higher.
In fact, according to a Gallop poll released in June of last year, while 4 percent of people said they would not vote for a black president, a full 22 percent said they would not vote for a Mormon. In fact, only atheists and gays ranked higher.
So Baldwin probably had it backwards, which he usually does, so that comes as no surprise.
What did come as a surprise to me is why people would have such negative views of Mormons. I have known lots of them in my life, and in most cases they have been hard-working, kind, generous family-oriented people—just the kind of people this country used to value (and maybe that’s the problem right there.)
Mormons have intrigued me ever since Mike Huckabee back in 2007 claimed that Mormons believe that Jesus and Satan are brothers. With the recent election over, I decided to check out Mormons a bit more.
My hope in doing this was to explain to readers who Mormons are and whether or not 22 percent of the people were justified in opposing having a Mormon president.
But instead I’m going to share an intriguing bit of Mormon theology I learned that I think makes them perhaps the most politically wise human beings on the planet. Ironically, this story stems from that Huckabee quote about the relationship between Jesus and the devil, but the lesson to be learned is one that, regardless of our political or religious views, we would all be wise to consider.
So here’s what I learned: Mormons, unlike most other Christian sects, believe that all humans lived a life before mortality. They call this the pre-existence or pre-earth life. At birth a veil is placed over our minds so that we don’t remember it (you’ll see why in a minute).
In this pre-earth life, we were all in the presence of God as His spirit children. Jesus was there—the first-born of God’s spirit children, and a leader in the councils in Heaven. Lucifer was also there, and was another leader among the children of God. He was called a “son of the morning.”
At some point in this existence, the Father called all of His children together to explain how things worked. All of His children would have to leave His presence and come to earth for a period of testing. The goal was to see if we would live a righteous life even when we had to live by faith, as we would no longer be able to remember God or heaven (that’s the reason for the veil).
If we would live a righteous life, we would be given the opportunity to return and live with God forever. Otherwise we would forfeit that chance, because no unclean thing can live in God’s presence. However, God knew that we would all make mistakes, so he would provide a Savior for the world. This Savior would live a sinless life, and because of that, he would qualify to pay for the sins of the world through what would be called the “Atonement.” If people would sincerely repent of their sins, then the Atonement would essentially erase their sins, and they could still return and live with God. The Father called for volunteers to be this savior, and two stepped forward: Jesus and Lucifer.
Lucifer said that he would be the savior and he would force everybody to live righteously, thus guaranteeing that all of God’s spirit children would return to Him in heaven [and he, Lucifer would receive all the credit/glory]. Jesus said that He would follow the Father’s plan and allow God’s children their free agency [and all the glory would go to God]. They could choose for themselves whether to live righteously and take advantage of the Atonement or whether to live in sin and forfeit the opportunity to return and live with God.
God rejected Lucifer’s plan, causing Lucifer to rebel and declare war on God. One-third of God’s spirit children joined Lucifer in this rebellion. In the end, the rebellion failed and Lucifer and his followers were cast out of heaven. They came to earth without bodies and now, continuing the war they started in heaven, they tempt men to do evil to one another and lose out on the chance to return to God. [Luke 10:18; Revelation 12:9; Isaiah 14:12]
PAY ATTENTION HERE; THIS IS THE GOOD PART
Now, any traditional Christians reading this will see similarities to their own belief system. Most traditional Christians believe that Lucifer lived in heaven as an angel, but then declared war on God and was cast out. However, the causes for that war are not necessarily clear in traditional Christian theology.
That is where Mormon theology is so intriguing. For Mormons, the greatest of all battles, the war in heaven, was fought over LIBERTY—or as they call it, “free agency.”Lucifer wanted to take it away, while God demanded that humans have it.
Although a Mormon might balk at my making comparisons between their religious beliefs and modern politics (and as I said earlier, every Mormon I’ve ever known was a very good person, so I apologize to any I offend), I see a direct correlation here. For a Mormon, the battle for liberty is not unique to this life; it is the core battle of the ages. Lucifer lost the war in heaven (he really thought he could beat God?), but the war continues on earth. So seeing the government become more and more tyrannical is not just a political concern; it’s a fundamental, eternal concern.
I’m inspired by this Mormon theological idea: God intended for humans to be free to make our own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. The Founding Fathers of this country said essentially the same thing in the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evidence, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
My study of Mormonism has not only given me newfound respect for this people and their religion; it has also made me evaluate my own attitude towards the liberty that seems to be slipping through all of our fingers. Is this just something that is nice to have, and for which I thank the Founding Fathers? Or is it really something that is endowed by God, and that He expects me to fight for. According to Mormon theology, I already fought for this once. The fact that I’m here says that I was on God’s side in the war in heaven, and fought for liberty.
A Mormon might ask, why should any of us be less willing to fight for it here than we were there?
Reprinted from “SMART MORMONS,” By Mike Jensen, January 22, 2013

Yes I am a Mormon, however even if I was not I think I could agree with this article.
Wally Baldwin

CLOSING THE BOOKS

I copied this from a newspaper, unfortunately I did not indicate which one it was. However I think it is just as viable today as it was then. I thought it was good advise for me and I hope there are some of you out there in cyber-space that will find it good advise as well.

Closing the Books

Last week we closed the books on the year 2013. Or did we? Certainly a new ledger has opened before us to be filled with the accounts of 2014. No one knows what the New Year will bring, and we have not yet entirely determined last year’s legacy?

We never can fully close the door on the past, much as we might like to. There is much that we must carry forward, much to complete. And we would not wish to close it out completely anyway, would we?

Naturally we would like to forget our severe disappointments, our serious illnesses, our sufferings from other causes. But much good came to us last year, too, and that we would not wish to forget nor do without.

The fact is that today merges into tomorrow, as yesterday laid the foundation for today. It is that way for the year to come. As we look back on 2013, let us place it in the balance, learn from our difficulties and build on the blessings it gave us.

This New Year can become great. What if disaster does come? We must rise above it. Life does not stop. It goes on and on. We are to grow with our problems, solve them and rise to further victories.

Truly as Longfellow said, we are our own architects of life “working in these walls of time.” He recognized that we may not have built as well in the past as we might. But he encourages us.

Build today, then, strong and great

With a firm and ample base.
And ascending and secure
Shall tomorrow find its place.