...down.

having a hard time when im alone in my room.
no matter how hard i try to distract myself,
facing my computer, laying down, or when just even holding my phone.
all i see is you.

I miss everything that make you, you.

short, tiny, fury, explosive, strong personality, your scent, your chubby face, the way u smile, they way you glance, the expression when you are angry, the warm u make me feel, the way u cheer me up, the way u hug me once, the way you pushing me away when i try to get close to you, and the way u kiss... everything.


if there is any mistake i do in the past. tell me.
if there is anything i can change to be better in the future. tell me.
if there is any chance u wanna talk. tell me.
if there is any chance u wanna meet up. tell me.
if there is just one more chance, to let me make it right.
tell me.

thinking the day when i ask if we should get together,
remembering how you answered.
i though i was prepared, once, for this day to come.
yet u told me its ok for me to be away, as u will be waiting for my return.
you make me hope for the very best, you did.
you make me think we can last, forever?
and then i gave up my defense, u strike.

i know there is some mistake i did. not being gentle enough, not good in understanding you, not able to cheer you when you are down, nor even get involve in what you like or even some topic you share.. and going all emotional and not open up.
throwing all my anger over you, pushing you to the edge.

why am i such a bitch,cant give up when u cut me down.
though im able to hold myself, yet, broke down when i goes blank.
have the urge to call you in the middle of the night, luckily there is still someone i can find on net to accompany. preventing me to do so...

wish i can cry out loud, and let the tear flow with the rain, bringing those memory to somewhere far away..