not growing up

time: 10.15am

I've spend moments in life wishing that i could have done some things differently. Of course, time is not for us to rewind, and so i would move on and promise that the next time, in a similar situation, the course of action will be different. It is easy to blame it on the immaturity of my years then. I allowed the silence to overwhelm and the words that should have been said have instead, gone unheard.

But then when the time comes again to put things right, i still cannot do it. I have once again taken the easy way out. Staying quiet and holding the veil carefully over my own eyes. Choosing not to see or feel certain things makes it seem simpler.

Age has not given me courage.

forgetting my week

Tine: 10.33pm

Another week has just started and already the memories of the past week is fading away. I cant believe im having problems trying to recall what i have been doing just a few days ago.

So for memory sake:

monday 11/06- met up with tq, hwee, jianyong and eldon for lunch. What started out as a 3 men outing became a lovely group of 5. Having a lazy afternoon at hong kong cafe then starbucks, it made me remember why my jc years in 04A53 was so special. It was filled with such a diverse range of characters that it was a boiling pot for trouble, mischief, laziness and friendship. We werent a very cohesive class, yet we were never very clique-ish. We did lots of crazy things, we attended science lectures, we gambled in class, we got 'high' over highlighters, we walked long distances in Singapore, we refused to talk during tutorials, we sat in the hall every single morning till the last class left assembly, and we had weird discussions during breaks.
I wonder how all of them are, right now? :)

Tuesday 12/06: great, i cant remember what i did today. -_-

Wednesday 13/06: met Cm to discuss omc stuff. He was SO late. hahha ok..abt 40 mins. luckily im used to it. :p gave me a chance to explore J8

Thursday 14/06: Held a "4 people, 20 bucks" day. Was supposed to help lays with some article, so me, feebs, lays and jared spend a whole day armed with just $20. We went to the botanic garden, to SAM, to theives market, then finally to rocher road's Tau huay. OMG..the heat that day gave me a bad shoulder burnt and i was practically dissolving under the sun. A little cheating here and there, but it was a fun day!

Friday 15/06: St nicks campfire! haha yes, photos:




the general layout!They were having camp too. really diao..how can you squeeze a campfire, a graduation and enrolment into 3 days?


The gateway. It was rather shaky to walk on. Must be the lack of practise on my side!

And st nick has this really cool project where they painted all the toilets according to themes! i didnt managed to visit all of them, but the two i visited were really cute!



lol...feng ru is damn funny. She was supposed to go on stage to tell a joke, but after we heard her joke, we made her sit down IMMEDIATALY. Jokes like that are like M18, everyone there was underage. hur hur.

and finally, a photo of my batch people with our guiders. Yes i know we all look kind of messy, but it was after a long hot night!

campfire's buring

time: 1.07am

I hope to get pictures out for this, but for now i can only say that:

i really missed campfires!

Back in the good old pinafore days, campfire was real fun, singing songs, learn lousy dances, watching gorgeous performances and checking out guys of all shapes and sizes. I enjoyed every moment of it, of course, with some schools being way better than others.

The last one i went for was 3 years back, when st nicks had a campfire.

today, they had another one. :) "Hollywood"- it was called.

I met people i have not seen for so long. Some since i left school. Its surreal, to be suddenly surrounded by people who formed shadows of your past. People whom you laughed with, talked with and slogged under the sun with, but yet who also slowly drifted away with the years.

So much has changed with the company too. Miss Gwee has left( leaving the company in the hands of people who lack the sheer passion and drive she had) Seriously, i remembered how she used to drive me crazy. Spending every recess with her was not the kind of memories one should have of secondary school, but she really was the pillar of it all. With the years, she gained my respect. And it helped that i always found the best partners to pull it through with me. :) I miss them too, both of them.

Punishment is no longer allowed in all uniforms groups. No running, no pumping, no nothing. Sighz..how then brown cow, do we keep the rebelious and ill-discipline nature of 140 girls under check? Its strange, why we even find the need to be trying to control girls who chose to be in this CCA in the first place. Then again, i think all of us had a love-hate relationship with guides. Only in reflection, do we realise what we have failed to notice amidst all our sweat, tears and uncooked food.

With every batch, we have new problems. Maybe thats why, its nice to just remember the 4 years that we lived through. The pumping, the scoldings, the *ahem* cheating, the campfires, the 3 minutes baths, the home econs room and not forgotting, the people.

I dun really say this much, but those 4 years of guiding gave me alot more than i expected. For a CCA that i conveniently chose casue 'everyone-i-knew-was-joining-too', it brought me a long way. It made me realise too, that i can do alot more than i thought i could. People tend to think of uniform groups as a kind of place for people who have no idea what they want to dump themselves into ( ok! i admit. i was one of those pple..) instead it became this really unique experience.

There is this saying "Once a guide, always a guide". I may no longer be heading in the guiding direction. In fact i have slowly distanced myself, but ultimately, it has left its print on me. On who i am and what i have become.

and seriously, cheers to that. :)

ATC

time: 1038pm

second entry.

I realised that i forgot to mention that the results were out. lol

I didnt get my overall cap of 4 ( sighz), but still im going to try for exchange. lets see how it goes

pretty tired now. Went out to help ATC today. really admire the committee, running the whole show despite the total lack of sleep from yesterday night.

oh and the block directly opposite mine is suffering from a blackout cause someone obviously forgot to on the corridor and lift lobby lights. There are only a few random windows emitting a yellow glow against the dark background. abit eerie leh...

the missing milk tea

time: 10.16pm

Remember how bubble tea was once a novelty only found at pasar malams? Well..i remember. There were long queues and drinks that cost up to $3 a cup. And i especially miss seeing the little doll working furiously at the bubble tea machine. The doll that will be pumping a machine furiously, standing on display at the store front. My mum and i used to complain that the doll was suffering from child labour. haha. seriously, she looked like she was being worked too damn hard.

But now, bubble tea has lost its place in the night markets. Instead they have made their way into our neighbourhood store, first as a frantic craze, then finally into just another regular item in busy streets.

The novelty is sadly gone.

Business trends rise and fall with human wants and needs. Human wants and needs similarly follow the tides of business. When bubble tea was at its heights, we were consumed, literally by the waves of shops. Tasting too much of it then made us sick of it. Customers leave, shops close and prices drop for the remainder. Then people start to miss it.

This is such a strange thing to be talking about, i know. Its just that recently, im back to my craze for milk tea with yummy coconut jelly after a long dry spell. And i realised how much i miss the sweet taste on my tongue. Absense really makes the heart fonder. :P And now, you cant find outlets as easily as before.I know there are still places that sell these stuff, but i know how i loved the milk tea from Cool Station.

Where have they all disappeared to??

commercial shoot

Time: 2.07pm

I shot my first commercial yesterday!

yes, me and 50 other people. We were otherwise endearly known as "extras"

having wake up at an unearthly 630am, i was at orchard hotel by 810. We,which was 7 of us, got on a small, small van( which was really silly since they had to ferry over 50 people to the shooting venue in many MANY trips) that brough us to a empty building on Lady's Hill. The name Lady's Hill is oddly scary by itself, and the building we were at was old, abandoned and the kind of location one would find shaddy people filming adult films. haha ok..more mildly, its also the kind of place on channel 8 shows where drug lords do illegal business.

The air was still, there was NO wind, and it did not help that we had to bear the intense heat. There was breakfast provided though, which was kind of thoughtful. I took a packet of rice. It was weird, it was chicken rice, with no chicken but luncheon meat, fish cake and nasi lemak chili. -_-'' Maybe the hawker uncle got confused.

Anw...the room was even hoter than outside cause of all the lightings! goodness. We were actully filming for Interllectual Property Rights of Singapore on some internet safety thingy. The concept was a AA meeting mock up, you know where people will come up and say something like " Hi, my name is susan and i have not drank a drop for 10 days", then everyone will say " Hi susan!" and cheer her on? haha yar...we were the chorus. So for about 45 mins, we sat on the chairs, giving variations of " HI eric!" and " HI jean!". For the more enthu examples, some chosen ones even had to stand up and yell " YOU ROCK ERIC" haha...funny seh. Regina was even one of the leading 'actress'! I didnt know she was working there.

If not for the heat, those two hours were easy money. We got $20, of which not a cent entered my own pocket. :( We were here as a canvassing effort for foc. If only we managed to get more pple down to do this! Its the equivalent of washing 2 cars! roar.

mayday concert 2007

time: 1.27pm



went for mayday jump离开地球表面演唱会. I was lost for the first one hour. Maybe i hadnt been listening religiously to all their albums, but the first one hour left me wondering if i was in the right concert. lol.

Overall though, the singing and music were three thumbs up! It gave me a silly 'high' to feel the floorboards beneath me vibrate from the sheer energy that the audience was giving out. pretty amazing how popular their hokkien or min nan songs were, most of the crowd were singing along zealously to them.

I was disappointed that there werent more individual performances by each of them, cause since ah-shin was the only one who ever sang, what were the others like, behind their trusty instruments? They dished out the best songs from their albums, fueled up the crowd with their antics but still..i felt that something was missing.

Maybe it was the venue that dampened my spirits..oh my god, for all the popularity they enjoy, why on earth do they hold it at the max pavilion instead of indoor? I could barely see the screens from my seat and it didnt make much sense to have so many blocks of seatings on flat ground cause already, i had two huge blocks in front of me with heads of all shapes and sizes popping into my line of vision all the time. And this was after paying so very much for my ticket. And lesson learn from expo concerts...Buy the cheapest tickets. Cause you can always hide at a corner and wait for the concert to start, then run to the middle runway and stand there for the rest of the concert! haha

i really regret not buying one of the tshirts though.. there were some really pretty ones!

lizards..i hate you!

tonight, as i wiped my hands off the kitchen towel, i saw this hideous beige face staring at me.

I HATE LIZARDS!

for all thats worth, they strike a terror in my heart.

and worse of all, i never understood why i fear something so much smaller than myself.

why!!!!!!!!