Obedience is Hard

As some of you know, we recently said "yes" to a foster care call, and some of the responses we're getting to voluntarily caring for 5 children under age 6 have given me pause, and prompted a mass of thoughts that I feel the need to type out and share.  These comments have ranged from:

"Are you crazy?"

"You must be a glutton for punishment."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Sometimes it's just not the right season for these things."

to..."You're amazing!" and

"How do you do it?"

It's made me stop and ask myself "why DID we say yes to this call?"  Honestly we say "No" to the majority of calls that we get.  We prayerfully considered this, and I can't describe it any other way than to say this time God wanted us to say "Yes."

I've been studying the fruits of the Spirit with the ladies in my Connection Group over the past few months, and the resounding take home message that I've been getting from the scriptures has been the fact that God builds character through hard things.  Through suffering.  Through persecution.  Through trouble.  Through hard work.  And frankly,

I don't like hard work.  

That's the honest truth.  But God has been slowly, graciously, thankfully refining me, showing me how lazy and selfish I am, and how much I want my life to be slower, simple, convenient.  So we got the call...2 kids...about the same ages as 2 of our kids...and I thought "that sounds hard."
But...*newsflash*...the work of the gospel was hard.  It wasn't logical for Christ to leave His throne in heaven and take on human form.  To leave a perfectly comfortable, glorious life above with His Father and join our ranks down here in this sinful fallen world.  It wasn't easy for Him to take the walk to the garden of Gethsemane, knowing all of his friends were about to leave Him out to dry.  It wasn't easy for Him to carry the cross up the hill to where He would die.  He didn't want to lay down His life for a bunch of people who didn't deserve it, (in fact, He even asked God to let Him out of it!) but God asked Him to continue on, and He did.  And I'm so thankful that He DID!

So if Christ was willing to suffer and die for me, how can I not give up my "life" (and by life I mean my more comfortable, less crazy and chaotic life,) for 2, maybe 3 months???   And if Christ was willing to do that for me, how can I look these precious children in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry, Jesus made time for me, but I don't have time for you.  It's going to take too much time and energy and work for me to take care of you.  Surely someone else can do it."  Bottom line:  I can't.  Not in good conscience, at least.

Let's face it, the work of the gospel IS hard.  But it is good.  The other thing God had been teaching me repeatedly through our study was how He blesses us in, through, and following suffering.  He refines us through trials.

^"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."   James 1:2-4

And again in verse 12:

 "¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

I don't think it's by accident that James concludes his chapter on trials, and the benefits that come from and through them, with this piece on caring for orphans:

^"27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."    James 1:27

So in answer to the questions that folks have asked,

"Are you crazy?"

Yep.  Crazy about the gospel.  Crazy about Jesus.  Crazy enough to take Him at His word, and follow His literal words to lay down our lives for others, and to care for orphans in their distress.  

"You must be a glutton for punishment."

If by that you mean choosing a trial on purpose, knowing that the end result will be worth it, then yes, we are.  If by that you mean we love doing hard things, or we purposely choose the path of most resistance, the answer is no!  But we are trusting that God is good and will give us the grace that we need to persevere, even when things are difficult.  

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Absolutely.  Check out what amazing things Jesus has been doing in the heart of our  5 year-old.  Totally worth all the hard work and inconvenience.  

"Sometimes it's just not the right season for these things."

And to this I say, "I agree."  Sometimes the timing isn't 'right' and God doesn't always tell us that it's time for us to say, "Yes."  But that isn't for others to judge.  Each and every one of us is called to different things by God, in different seasons of life, and it is up to each one of us to respond to the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  Please don't try to take on that role yourself.  

And to those who think 5 kids is just too many, this blogger took the words right out of my mouth.   My favorite lines:  "Parenthood makes me work hard.  Without kids, I’m sure I’d watch more TV, drink more wine, and become a more selfish individual.  With kids, I’m forced to think of others and avoid self-absorption."  Amen and Amen.  This is also a lesson we are (hopefully!) teaching our children, by our example and by providing them the opportunity to share their spaces, their toys, and their parents.  We pray that they will learn to put others first and avoid the self-centered, "me-first" mentality that is so pervasive in our American culture.

In conclusion, I'd be lying if I said that what we're doing right now is glamorous, super-spiritual work.  It's not.  I spend the majority of my days cleaning up spilled applesauce off the table, (and chairs, and floor,) wiping sticky hands and faces, changing multiple poopy diapers and occasionally getting peed on myself, gathering up dozens of stray socks and mismatched pajama sets from floors and drawers and toy boxes and attempting to return them to the correct owners.  One of the kids screams for an hour every time I put him in his highchair.  Another one lies to my face multiple times a day.  My own kids are adjusting to less one on one time and attention from me throughout the day, which often leads to tears and temper-tantrums.  Two of my kids have bite marks from a toddler that's had a hard time adjusting to a new home and a new mama and a new dada.  By 8:00 every night Tim and I are both EXHAUSTED.  Putting 5 kids under age 6 to bed is a major undertaking!  I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that after just 10 days into this I looked at my husband and said "I'm done!  We're crazy!  I don't want to do this anymore!"

But then I play back the other moments of my day...the softer moments that sneak in between the hard stuff.  Answering innocent questions such as "What's the Bible?  Who was Jesus?  Can I have my own Bible to read?  Can we read another Bible story today?"  Friends, there are children out there who have NEVER HEARD THESE THINGS.

I get to look into 5 little sets of gorgeous young eyes and say "You are so special.  You are so beautiful.  God made you and He cares about you, and He's going to do amazing things with your life.  And I love you.  I'm so thankful to have you as part of my family right now."

I get two little brown arms clinging to my neck for a half an hour every morning before the rest of the kids wake up.  I get a little fuzzy braided head snuggled up into my shoulder at bedtime each night, allowing me to rock and sing to him.  I'm not sure he's ever heard "Jesus Loves Me" before.  Our days and nights are filled with even more hugging and kissing and holding and rocking than they were 2 weeks ago.

Today in church we sang the lyrics "so it's with everything I am, I reach out for your hand, the hope for change, the second chance I've gained..."  And I remembered a little brown hand that reaches for me from his highchair, wanting me to hold his hand while he eats.  Or the hands that reach up for mine at the park.  (Or dive for me without any warning from the top of the play structure, trusting that I'll catch him!) And I realized that we truly ARE the hands and feet of Christ to these little ones right now.  We are giving them the hope for change.  A second chance.  A glimpse of Jesus-centered family life.  And with tears in my eyes I didn't think "Why me?  Why did you ask me to do this hard thing?"  Instead it was "thank You, Jesus.  Thank You for using us.  Thank You for letting us be a part of this story that You are writing in their lives."

So if you hear of someone you know and love entering into foster care, or adoption, or some other "hard work" of the gospel, my plea to you is not to second guess them, or tell them they're crazy, or try to talk them out of it.  Love them.  Support them.  Encourage them.  Rally around to help them out, because in doing so, you too are participating in kingdom work.  We can't do this alone!  I am indebted to our friends and family who have already, in the last 10 days, been of tremendous support and encouragement.  Multiple times last week I had friends call or text on their way to the store to ask if I needed anything.  My parents picked up our eldest for a sleepover this weekend.  Another friend dropped off loads of pureed vegetables after I mentioned to her what a picky eater I have on my hands and how I wished I had the time to sneak some veggies into his food.  And a perfect stranger at church walked up to us and handed us a brand new Jesus Storybook Bible for our girl who's been asking for a Bible of her own.  She overheard us talking about it in the lobby and purchased one for her on the spot.   (Yes!  Tears were shed!) In addition, our church family has thus far provided a twin bed, a twin mattress, a toddler bed and mattress, and 2 carseats for these kiddos!  Without these tangible items we wouldn't be able to do this work!  And I have felt covered in prayers.  I know there must be numerous people praying for us, because this transition really has gone amazingly well.

And to those who say, "You're amazing!"  my answer is:  "nope.  I'm not.  But God is!"

and "How do you do it?"  I can honestly say "only by the grace of God."

^"9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. ¹⁰ So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Step out in faith this week.  Do something hard for the sake of the gospel.  Advance the kingdom of God.  He is faithful.  He will bless you through it.  And He will grant you the grace and the strength to move mountains.

“For I assure you: If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."   Matthew 17:20b