I'm Moving To Nottinghamshire When I Retire!

Because the place must be a crime-free paradise!

A retired teacher was threatened with criminal action after fallen leaves were allegedly blown onto her neighbour's drive. Lorraine Perro, 66, was visited by officers from Nottinghamshire Police who said her garden waste constituted antisocial behaviour and handed her a Community Protection Warning. Ms Perro was left so intimidated by the warning she erected netting on her property to catch any fallen leaves and bark.

Well, it seems harsh, but if her trees are causing a nuis...

Oh. 

She claimed the source of the waste is fallen leaves from trees on nearby parkland that she doesn't own.

And so she's rightly annoyed.  

Ms Perro accused Nottinghamshire Police of overstepping their powers, adding it had infringed on her liberties.

She said: 'I have no convictions and this has caused me major distress.

'We have a park area where the trees blow on to my drive and my neighbours' drives. But I'm told by the police that I am responsible.

'I asked why the police didn't give warnings to the squirrels and birds as well – the wind blows the leaves around.

'I have had to put a net up to prevent leaves being blown about. I feel terribly intimidated by this.

'My rights and freedoms are affected, as it ignores my right to have my garden the way that I want it.

'You are treated as a culprit, as if you have done something wrong and not given a chance to respond or defend yourself.

'I am sure the public would like to see a better use of police time and resources in preventing serious crime.'

Yes indeed, particularly fare dodging. But stroppy urban chip-on-shoulder customers on buses put up more of a fight than retired old ladies.  

Nottinghamshire Police have denied fallen leaves could be covered by the warning.

And now the neighbours who complained to bring about this have waded in to say this isn't about leaves at all. 

The squabbling neighbours live in near identical red brick detached homes in the leafy Nottinghamshire suburb of Eastwood. Neither the lone householder nor the couple are allowed to talk to one another or communicate in any way after signing police 'keep the peace' orders.But matters have escalated in recent weeks after the Amos's accused their neighbour - through their local community officer - of keeping an untidy front and garden with leaves and bark chippings blowing onto their drive and over their rear lawn. They also claimed her 'inconsiderate parking' meant their own car was blocked in their small drive.

Another case of people who don't get on escalating things, then? But is this really a job for police action? 

Mr Amos, 74, a retired classic car sales manager, said: 'She deserves that warning. She is the neighbour from hell.

'We've lived here for 47 years and she has made our lives hell for the past 23 years.

'She's crazy and she continues to invade our privacy and doing annoying things which are driving us mad.'

His wife, a retired customer services advisor for an insurance company, fumed: 'She's a nasty, horrible woman and we just want her to leave us alone.

'We want a quiet life, and we don't need the hassle, but we can't with her next door. She's a total nutter and I just ignore her.

'I'm glad police have given her that a warning, they had every right and it's about time, but I doubt it will stop her carryings on.'

This isn't a job for the police, this is something only an estate agent can solve. If these people can't live together one of them should move. But it's yet another indication of how the police are happy to wade in on things like this, but run a mile when confronted with organised pushback that could be considered 'racially charged'. 

Curtains Might Have Been A Cheaper Course Of Action…

Pensioners who spent £100,000 in a failed legal battle to force their neighbours to remove a large lantern have blasted the High Court after losing their appeal. Roger and Margaret Hunt, both 80, launched a private prosecution against their neighbours over a Victorian-style lantern, which Mr and Mrs Hunt insist shone into the bedroom window of their home in Deal, Kent.

And, typically for these cases, it's all someone else's fault that they are now out of pocket. 

Mrs Hunt, a retired school teacher, said today: 'This is just us being picked on – we are lucky we have the means to stick up for ourselves in this case.'

Retired accountant Mr Hunt added: 'We were made to pay £6,000 pounds of costs to them after we lost the initial findings. That is very unusual in a statutory nuisance case, you're normally immune.

'But then when we tried to dispute the magistrates' findings – the costs racked up to over £100,000 including our solicitors. 'The stupid thing is we aren't that worried about losing £75,000 - because we're more worried about what they may do next.'

Truly, a fool and their money are soon parted, and hiring solicitors and going to war with neighbours is one of the surest ways to accomplish that! 

Their son Jonathan Hunt, who is in his 40s, was forced to retire from teaching classics at Winchester College private school due to chronic health issues and moved in with his parents in 2012.

Jonathan added: 'We clearly don't have infinite supplies of money to bring or defend legal actions. We have not been able to stop harassing acts like their spotlights being flashed at us and wind chimes being wrung out.

'Only our solicitors have been able to get them to stop doing things they've been doing. But we don't have endless money and we don't know what to expect next. We just don't understand them.' Jonathan also slammed the advice his family were given. Mr and Mrs Hunt did not initially get legal representation after reading that their statutory nuisance claim could be resolved in court without a barrister.

*sighs* 

No, He Wasn't 'Troubled'...He Was Trouble!

Thankfully, not any more:

A parish councillor was gunned down in the front garden of his thatched cottage by a neighbour who was then killed in a police chase.

James Nash, 42, was in hospital last night with serious injuries following the attack in the pretty Hampshire hamlet of Upper Enham, near Andover.

Officers gave chase in a patrol car after the gunman fled on a motorcycle, but he later crashed.

 The victim has since died. 

A villager said: 'We don't know what caused the younger man to target James – there must have been a dispute of some sort.

'But I know that the shooter was a troubled soul who had had issues with drink or drugs.'

 Oh, really? 

The force said a mandatory referral to the Independent Office for Police Conduct had been made, adding that officers had attended an address in Enham Alamein parish as part of this investigation.

 I wonder if that is from the crash, or past cobtact with this lunatic?

A villager said: 'Alex had a history of petty crime over recent years and had got into drugs I think too. Nobody can understand why he has done what he has done.'

I think you really answered your own question there... 

Sartain, who suffers form (sic) paranoia, had come to believe Mr Nash was spying on him and was 'trying to get him sectioned'.

Pity he wasn't. Pity someone wasn't.  

"Neighbours, everybody loves good neighbours..."

The neighbour of a business leader has admitted he was behind the brutal attack that left him in hospital for several weeks.

Shahed Mahmood was rushed to hospital in a critical condition after he was punched by Mohammed Shazad Akram following a row over a parking space.

It's the Religion of Peace, don'tchaknow...

Defending the 28-year-old, Simeon Evans said: “There was an argument – Mr Mahmood had come to the defendant’s house to deal with an issue to do with parking.

“As my client tried to usher Mr Mahmood away, he [Mahmood] made a very hurtful and upsetting comment about his dead brother.

“The two males were standing very closely together and Mr Akram believed that Mr Mahmood was going to move his arm towards him. He then struck one blow to Mr Mahmood’s face.

“I have to accept that there are aggravating features in this case – the location of the offence, the ongoing effects on the victim, and the presence of other people in the area.

“But he has no previous convictions, it was a single blow and he has shown evidence of remorse.”

Hah! As if that'll wor...

Oh.

Judge Sara Dodd commented on the neighbourly dispute, saying that both involved parties were ‘probably thoroughly good men’.

Akram pleaded guilty to inflicting GBH and was released on conditional bail. He will be sentenced on June 12.

*sighs*

They Do Things Differently In The Country...

A quiet street in a market town erupted into violence as two gangs armed with garden equipment and a chainsaw clashed.

I presume they mean a petrol driven chainsaw? Or they had a very long lead!

The fight erupted shortly before 3.30pm on Friday on the small residential street of Fleeters Hill in Hingham.

It is understood the incident was the result of a long-running neighbourhood dispute, which had boiled over.

Ah!

One woman, who did not wish to be named, said she was watching TV in bed when she heard commotion outside.

“I saw all the men running in different directions, and it was just fists to begin with,” she said. “But then all of a sudden a chainsaw came out, then loads of other garden tools.

“One boy was threatening to wrap a spade around an older bloke’s head.

“The chainsaw was running and a young lad got cut by it across his chest. He was bleeding quite a bit.”

“It was initially between two males, but they had gangs on each side.

“This all boils down to someone reporting the others to the council for having fires, and them accusing someone as being the ones who reported them.”

It's all so very different from London.

H/T: jack ketch in comments