I don't want it, frankly speaking, my interest never lies in financial-related 'things'.

But I am determined, or rather, I want to be another God's people in that line and plan God's people and teach them to use money for the betterment and Godly way.

Why not?

but till now, I don't like it.

but I am put in a place to learn about money.

Dang.

Like seriously, what about my aerospace or environmental or teaching kids.
and, urg.

moulding character.
I am at the supposedly most painful stage of my life now.

I asked God for people to teach me.
I sought for masters, leaders, teachers in secondary school asking teachers to scold me, discipline me so that I could be a better person.

Teachers always say I am good already, why the need for scolding?

Ha.

Now God put the people I had always seek for in my life, but I am
dying to escape.

It's painful You know God, ouch!

I can change so many wrong habits,
even my parents are happier,
but this, like seriously ouch!

I never cry as often as these weeks in my whole lifetime.

20 years of building up this You want me to shed away.

why didn You do this to me when I was younger?
when it was easier and I was more willing to accept.
when it wasn a part of me