I don't want it, frankly speaking, my interest never lies in financial-related 'things'.

But I am determined, or rather, I want to be another God's people in that line and plan God's people and teach them to use money for the betterment and Godly way.

Why not?

but till now, I don't like it.

but I am put in a place to learn about money.

Dang.

Like seriously, what about my aerospace or environmental or teaching kids.
and, urg.

moulding character.
I am at the supposedly most painful stage of my life now.

I asked God for people to teach me.
I sought for masters, leaders, teachers in secondary school asking teachers to scold me, discipline me so that I could be a better person.

Teachers always say I am good already, why the need for scolding?

Ha.

Now God put the people I had always seek for in my life, but I am
dying to escape.

It's painful You know God, ouch!

I can change so many wrong habits,
even my parents are happier,
but this, like seriously ouch!

I never cry as often as these weeks in my whole lifetime.

20 years of building up this You want me to shed away.

why didn You do this to me when I was younger?
when it was easier and I was more willing to accept.
when it wasn a part of me

I don't have much time now.

I just want to say,
yesterday I told Cheong that Goh matured. He's very different from how he was in JC years. Elsa agreed.

I was sharing with her about myself in my company.

And that, sacrifice is definitely needed when you choose to allow God to change you to someone better.

Goh and I met up (arranged) only 2 times since we graduated from JC. The first time was at VIVO. This friend who is close to my heart was sharing with me how painful it was for him to choose to do what was necessary in army. And for a guy, he teared one night in army. Not only one night actually.

And now look at him, the way he behaves is different in certain ways and the way he thinks is different already.

Really thank God to see him becoming a better person. I am really grateful to God.

At the same time, that pointed out to me that, for me to move on, to follow God closely, I have to sacrifice. It is necessary. Maybe I hold on to old habits, to myself, those are so important, but to God, it's nothing, because He has better gifts and life awaiting for me.