I found my wallet. =) It was in my supervisor's shelf. Haha.

It had been an enriching week. I learnt a lot of my cousin, Elaine. We had not talked for 10 odd years. Can you imagine how distant we ought to be? However, I met her twice in a week and we shared a lot a lot. Talking to her really opens up my mind, stretches my insight of the world I am living in and helps me to understand my needs better. I am so thankful for her. The comfort given by her is entirely different from those given by friends. When I shared with her about my current situation at home, I feel relieved. I know she will definitely try to help me with no hesitation and no obliges because she is my family.
And one more thing, I realised she was saved years ago. WOO! I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN TAY FAMILY! Haha. Awesome.
She was asking me if I wanted to join her company. Alternative future. (contemplating...) Her company is very different from the typical company you find anywhere in Singapore. They really looks into your values and principals and not just your results. I went to attend their monthly gathering and the people there clearly shows me that at the end of the day, where you came from doesn't matter anymore. It all comes down to how hard you work and how sincere are you when you serve your clients.

Anyway, I cut my hair yesterday! Ha. Erm. Well, to the extent I can't tie it up properly. ... Random. Ok. I finally got my birthday card from cell. Despite the fact that I joined them barely a few weeks and do not know them well, their words in the card were surprisingly heartwarming. Ha. Perhaps the sentences were so nicely phrased because they had been working for ages and learnt the techniques to make people feel good. Haha. Whatever it is, they really made me feel welcomed. HA. I went to cell just now!!! Happy happy happy. ...


I feel so young everywhere I go, be it at workplace, cell or my cousin's company. I am always the youngest, even in the Tay family (up to my generation).

Mon - 11.5hr, Tue - 10hr, Wed - 12hr, Thur - 10hr, Fri - 10hr. Total in this week, 53working hours. I am used to having my dreams coming true. However, for the last year my dreams having not been coming true and I thought I so called 'lost' my 'power'. Then slowly, I realised 2 years ago I did had a dream about myself working at the student care, Alastair was in my dream. Whatever happened in that dream happened then. Today I believed I lost my wallet, suddenly a dream that I had before played itself in my mind. In that dream, I lost my wallet and I was terrified and I was thinking of hiding from my parents, get WS to go ICA with me and at the same time, I was watching this show about Dubai. I fidgeted and realised I was watching the show and did think about how to get WS and Sok's help. Freaky. My dreams are still coming true. As much as I want that, I am still wondering how can I make use of those dreams? Ever since the incident of WS losing her wallet during GB conference, I really try hard to gasp and work my dream out so that something good can come out from it but till now I haven't succeed.
Pity I don't remember having any dreams about my future workplace.

Faith messaged me a verse - Joshua 1-8. I was pretty surprised by it. Though it's a common verse to everyone, yet it answered my uncertainty immediately. I was indeed terrified, I was indeed discouraged and the verse says it all.
My mum asked me a lot of questions. She said her friends told her God is awesome, loving, kind and graceful, but one of them was divorced, with a gangster son and so forth, how does that telly with what the friend said?
I had answers in my mind but dared not to share. Regrettably.

I didn't know how dependent I am on my parents until I first paid my phone bill and had to find food before working in the morning, how moronic. I was so lazy that I could go to work with a hungry stomach. (which is a big deal for hl you know)

I dreamt of ex, to my extreme surprise. Probably, it must be, caused by my bus trip which passed by BPGH.
I dreamt of Jie saying sorry to me (which he did the next day). I dreamt of telling WS I was eyeing a new sony phone and a new number and she gave me this 'shou bu liao ni' attitude. I also dreamt of swimming with a dolphin, conquering my phobia for seas/oceans.

My cousin wants to meet up with me after not meeting for 5++ years. She said she had alternative plans for me. Investments/insurances/etc I never never give any thought of working in those fields before. Totally no. ...

The twins in the student care somehow draw my attention to them wherever they go. Arh, I just loved them. Haha. This noon, the older sister (os) was playing with me at my back, I turned and gave a look. Then, once I turned back, holding the os's hands, I saw her again. I was shocked at first, stupidly. Then I said, "If I didn't work here, I seriously would think I see a ghost." That was the younger sister in front of me with the same hairstyle, hairband, shirt and face(haha obviously) as the os. She wanted to play with me too. =)

It felt weird and heartwarming at the same time when KS actually wanted me to his partner. He meant it. LOL. ME? Someone who scolded him badly during class?! Sigh, KS, you better understand I care for you and believe you will score.
Yesterday some people could not watch movie because I caught them for misbehaving during nap time. Those ppl include kids from my previous class. I was doing paper with J and the naughty kids were supposed to do reading while ppl watch movie. The ones from my previous class kept wanting to do papers with me.. Hahahahaha. I felt awesome. LOL. (doing papers is what the kids hate most leh. haha)

But then again, I seriously don't act like a teacher, they probably like to do things with me because they know I will listen to them telling me what they do in school. ... (not because I am good/clear/smart)

Oh one more thing, I'd been hearing more and more people getting cancer.
I didn't forget you, you know. After all I still used the song we sang as my ringtone. SM was surprised that I used that cos that song is old. Haha. Well...
Some people shared with me how morphine works on cancer patients, why they couldn't lie probably and why their stomachs bloated. The doctors also always say 6 months, once the c-cells reach the lungs. Oh I just realise if spread to liver, you had shorter lifespan.
I felt, ashamed? No, not that exactly, more of, ignorant... but then again, that time I was only 15, we were really too young to comprehend these things.
I don't know why I must understand the effects and how a cancer patient had to undergo the pains and consequences at this time. It's such a, coincidence.
I wished, I had known better.