Happiness comes from within

rendered speechless

I wonder if I will be obsessed with my kid like how my mum does. How I wish I have a kid now! Then, I can try out what my plans with my kid and evaluate what to do next. I really wish to be a good mother and a friend to my kid. S/he doesn't has to share everything with me and I don't want him/her to be the perfect child. I want him/her to be someone responsible and confident in his/her life. I want to give birth to someone who will mean something to another, who will impact another person's life, who will be a good parent to his/her own kid and contribute to the society. It's okay if s/he makes mistakes, I just hope lessons will be learnt. I have so much plans for my kid. Can you imagine how God plans His? Interesting, so many work to do.

I met SM again! Haha and I went to her house afterwards. Her house is pretty homely and I always want to sleep at her house la. ... While I was waiting for train A to come and sat at the station watching the dark sky. I was reminded of how I waited for her in the morning to go school together on the other platform. Hmmm.

Tampiness Mall is closer to Rhonda than to me, ironically, I had to travel there to get her present. Meanwhile, I bought a jacket and a pencil. This pencil cost me $4.65. The price tag is removed. I got it for my dad. It was the one which my dad had in the past. I was young and that pencil looked as though it works better so I 'stole' it from my dad and eventually spoilt it. Heh. I got it for him now! Sometimes, I wonder if this is how I express my gratitude and love, so insignificantly.

Possessed. I had consultation with Mr Chin for GP on Wednesday. During the consultation with Mr Chin, I asked him if the word 'moral' is neutral and he said yes. Oh, before that, Kel had one with Mr Toh. I sat beside Mr Toh and I strongly believe he is dying for me to ask him questions. ... Yesterday the scene kinda reenact itself. First, Mr Toh sat on my right instead and he wanted me to try out questions right on the spot. THEN, May Ee appeared! Haha, she sat between us and tried to solve the question for me. Ha and Mr Toh look frustrated because he was dying to see if I ever understand what he taught but ... Ya. IT'S ONLY A DREAM OKAY? Ya. Following that scene was a scene of me in my room, on my bed, staring at the window. A robot was there and so was a weird character. The weird character told me that the robot was evil. I was terrified. Yet, I made a move towards the robot and put it in the light. It shone! Ha, when I put it in somewhere dark, it was dark. Therefore, I said it was amoral such that it changes itself at different circumstance. However when the weird character held the robot, no matter where he goes, the robot was dark. Thus, the character was the mean one. Ta-da! I woke up looking at my window, speechless.

Labels: went out

Saturday, August 29, 2009

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can a belief in the supernatural be sustained in our modern world?

Erm.

I updated LYNN but I haven't updated Sok.
Hint for you, Sok: Something you and I expected happened, something about the object in my house which you like to take picture with.
I gained certain freedom through that though.
Miracles happened don't they? Maeh Maeh will surely agree with me.
He really answers prayers doesn't He?
When Mrs Seet asked me which sujbect I was good at, I was dumbfounded. My answered was chinese. You don't even have to give a serious thought of it to know what is the significance there. It's right there and I have to face it. I regret but I don't find faults in myself. It's not as though I never do anything, I did.
I think the whirpool which I told Evelyn about has generated itself again.

Calm on the outside, frantic on the inside

Shane, perhaps I am on the bus you are on.

I think I will be safe on this extremely packed bus at about 7plus even it there is accident. The reason simply I am well surrounded by people and shall be well cushioned.
Sick ain't it?

-we can smile at the storm as we go sailing home-

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

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Someone in my class said that s/he only writes happy things that s/he experienced into her/his journal. I am quite amazed because you have to deliberatly do it. I am already sick of deliberating doing somethings. Several things has happened and I only updated one person. I didn't have good results for this bock test 2. As stress is multiplying itself, my mum comes into the equation. She got me a new phone even though I never tell her I wanted it secretly. On the same day, she took my bible away and used it as a extra height for her things. Until now she is still arguing about my beliefs. Do parents try to learn about what character their kids have before seeing them as puppets and demanding them to do everything the parents want? Daily accusation from your own parents is not something pleasant to face. I have the feeling I will follow my mum's footsteps. I refuse to join this vicscious cycle. I am certain that I like people to be honest with me and I know if I am really in the wrong, I will apologise. I also know that I am not just an emotions generator. I don't deny that I easily lose control over my temper but I am careful of my choice of words. Unfortunately, I am not skillful and tactful enough to see how different personalities need to hear different words.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

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